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“Stop crying, you’re a boy.”


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#26 Hellbent

Posted 01 August 2019 - 08:42 PM

View PostJRA, on 01 August 2019 - 08:05 PM, said:

It aint an urban myth. Go to the beach and listen.....

I live on the coast, I beach every weekend.  Only screeching I hear is from the seagulls.  Not sure if they're preference is blue or pink though.  I'll have to look more closely ;)

#27 EsmeLennox

Posted 01 August 2019 - 08:55 PM

I reckon a variety of kids screech. Girls’ screeching is often higher pitched than boys, and I wonder if that’s where the stereotype arose.

I definitely had three screeching boys. And my nieces all gave it a red hot go, too.

But I have to say that anyone who’s never heard a girl screech must live in a fortunate place indeed.

#28 Treasure Island

Posted 01 August 2019 - 09:15 PM

Quote

Guilty to saying " stop screeching like a girl" to my own boys. Shoot me now. But it's true, one of the bonuses of not having a girl is you rarely  get that high-pitched screaming.

That's just as bad. Anything that uses girls to put down boys is insulting to both!

#29 CallMeFeral

Posted 01 August 2019 - 09:18 PM

View Postmarple, on 01 August 2019 - 06:52 PM, said:

Guilty to saying " stop screeching like a girl" to my own boys. Shoot me now. But it's true, one of the bonuses of not having a girl is you rarely  get that high-pitched screaming.

What a lot of rot. Girls and boys here, the oldest (girl) has never screeched and the youngers (one boy one girl) both tend to it but aren't allowed. There isn't a gender to it.

View PostJRA, on 01 August 2019 - 08:05 PM, said:

It aint an urban myth. Go to the beach and listen.....

You go to the beach and listen and you can tell it's only girls doing it? How? Young boys and girls voices sound pretty similar... or are you talking about adults? Obviously adult females have higher voices than adult males...

Either way, if you bring a child up saying "stop screeching like a girl" to the boys but not to the girls, you'll see girls screeching. It would be the female equivalent to "boys will be boys". Not that I've noticed it, but I don't spend much time at beaches.

#30 PrincessPeach

Posted 01 August 2019 - 09:18 PM

View PostHellbent, on 01 August 2019 - 08:42 PM, said:



I live on the coast, I beach every weekend.  Only screeching I hear is from the seagulls.  Not sure if they're preference is blue or pink though.  I'll have to look more closely ;)

The ones near us are white foods only seagulls - if it's not a carb, they are not interested & the bin chickens dig in.

As for the screeching, my niece outscreeches my boys, but my boys can outyell her.

#31 Lunafreya

Posted 01 August 2019 - 09:20 PM

What’s wrong with saying “don’t screech like a pack of galahs”

#32 notsoretro

Posted 01 August 2019 - 09:37 PM

View PostHellbent, on 01 August 2019 - 07:47 PM, said:

My DD never screeched. I've never actually witnessed girls screeching.  I'm pretty sure its an urban myth.  Right up there with girls love pink, girls are too emotional, boys like blue, boys are leaders.
We had 2 lots of neighbours from a particular South American country who had 2 girls each. They would play together and squeal and shriek at eye watering levels. The parents never seemed to notice, but my goodness it was annoying. I wondered if that was a cultural thing?

#33 Lifesgood

Posted 01 August 2019 - 09:44 PM

Unfortunately this is still really common. I personally hear this type of comment frequently, from intelligent, educated people who should know better.

Gender behaviour expectations are so deeply ingrained that stupid, thoughtless, harmful comments come out of people's mouths far too often.

My DS's favourite colour also used to be pink. Until he was told enough times that pink is a girls colour. His favourite colour now is yellow, so its not too bad. Even the most gender-biased people find it hard to tell him yellow is not a valid colour for boys.

#34 Ellie bean

Posted 02 August 2019 - 12:34 AM

View PostLifesgood, on 01 August 2019 - 09:44 PM, said:

Unfortunately this is still really common. I personally hear this type of comment frequently, from intelligent, educated people who should know better.

Gender behaviour expectations are so deeply ingrained that stupid, thoughtless, harmful comments come out of people's mouths far too often.

My DS's favourite colour also used to be pink. Until he was told enough times that pink is a girls colour. His favourite colour now is yellow, so its not too bad. Even the most gender-biased people find it hard to tell him yellow is not a valid colour for boys.
Yep you even see it on EB all the time. “Having 3 boys means they need lots of exercise “, stuff like that. Umm so does my daughter, I don’t lock her in the house, I’m fact she needs to run around a lot more than my son does!

#35 Paddlepop

Posted 02 August 2019 - 01:21 AM

View Postmarple, on 01 August 2019 - 06:52 PM, said:

Guilty to saying " stop screeching like a girl" to my own boys. Shoot me now. But it's true, one of the bonuses of not having a girl is you rarely  get that high-pitched screaming.

Why couldn't you say just "stop screeching"? Did you need to add in "like a girl"? Of course you didn't. Boys certainly do screech too. They do at my DD's school.

OP: I'd take anything your ex says with a massive grain of salt in case he's trying to mess with your head and emotions. If the other parent really did say that to DS, then no it's not okay. Boys can cry too, especially little 4 year olds who just got hurt.

#36 gettin my fance on

Posted 02 August 2019 - 01:22 AM

I think toddler squealing is ear-piercing no matter whether it's a boy or girl.

#37 overlytired

Posted 02 August 2019 - 02:50 AM

View PostLunafreya, on 01 August 2019 - 05:43 PM, said:

I know because ex told me when I saw DS earlier.

LF, given your current relationship with XH, I would suggest maybe speaking with DS' friend's mother – no accusations, just an inquiring discussion about what happened. It's not impossible you have the wrong information; not saying she did or didn't say what XH is accusing her of, just.. consider the source).

#38 too tired to care

Posted 02 August 2019 - 06:52 AM

View Postoverlytired, on 02 August 2019 - 02:50 AM, said:

LF, given your current relationship with XH, I would suggest maybe speaking with DS' friend's mother – no accusations, just an inquiring discussion about what happened. It's not impossible you have the wrong information; not saying she did or didn't say what XH is accusing her of, just.. consider the source).
This needed repeating.
Considering the source and the gaslighting and other issues you are currently having with him I think you might need to validate and chat with your friend without accusation.
This could be an attempt at isolating you from friends and to try and control you again.

if it has occurred as XH suggested it would be worth calmly chat with friend explaining your point of view and request the she does not do this again. She may not have really thought about the implications of the comment and this calm chat will give her the opportunity to rethink and change mindset.

#39 seayork2002

Posted 02 August 2019 - 07:22 AM

This is also why I don't like the expression 'man up'

#40 born.a.girl

Posted 02 August 2019 - 07:34 AM

I would have thought if they were 'screeching like a girl', and they're a boy, they'd be screeching like a boy.


I was often told as a child my behaviour was boy-like, generally called a tomboy. Truth was, I was just an energetic, physically busy girl.


By suggesting behaviours which tend to occur more often in the opposite sex (whether nature or nurture) mean you are behaving like the opposite sex is where the problem lies.

#41 Manicmum

Posted 02 August 2019 - 08:00 AM

I believe “banshee” is also a female term.



#42 born.a.girl

Posted 02 August 2019 - 08:11 AM

View Postmarple, on 01 August 2019 - 06:52 PM, said:

Guilty to saying " stop screeching like a girl" to my own boys. Shoot me now. But it's true, one of the bonuses of not having a girl is you rarely  get that high-pitched screaming.

I wouldn't say " stop crying, you're a boy" but I have definitely said "shh that's enough now. Stop crying . Let's go home. " I would say the same to a girl though, and have to my niece.


If they are boys, and they are screeching, they are screeching like boys.

#43 Lunafreya

Posted 02 August 2019 - 08:18 AM

She’s not my friend. I barely know the woman. Don’t even know her name

#44 DirtyStreetPie

Posted 02 August 2019 - 08:18 AM

The worst screeching I've ever heard came from boys at the park. Therefore, from that small sample, I can conclude that boys are definitely screechier. QED.
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That's how it works, right? Use a tiny sample to make generalisations about the effect of genitals on one's vocalisations?

#45 rainycat

Posted 02 August 2019 - 08:22 AM

Marple, boy and girl child here, when they were younger he was the screechy one.

#46 Mollyksy

Posted 02 August 2019 - 09:52 AM

View PostLunafreya, on 01 August 2019 - 07:50 PM, said:

My son likes pink. And unicorns. He has a favourite jacket which is black with white unicorns on it which I got in the girls section of Best and Less. He also has a dolls pram and a doll :)

Boys need more pink and Unicorns.

My 6 to DS loves rainbows and pink still. He is in FYOS and hasn't reported being teased. He had a pink drink bottle, now a rainbow one. A pink unicorn name tag on his bag. He got a few comments from male parents in preschool but our preschool was really proactive about knocking that kind of talk on the head. The girls actually were the most vocal defending his right to love pink. He saw a pink car yesterday and got so excited!

I buy a lot of his clothes from NEXT and I recall a few years ago he was wearing a pink dinosaur shirt to a bday party, which actually was a boys top in this instance (I look in both sections). The aunt of the bday boy went on and on about how her brother wouldnt let the bday boy wear pink. My goodness. It's a colour. And from QI until relatively recently, pink was the official 'boy' colour.

#47 marple

Posted 02 August 2019 - 10:24 AM

View PostTreasure Island, on 01 August 2019 - 09:15 PM, said:

That's just as bad. Anything that uses girls to put down boys is insulting to both!

Knew I'd get slammed. I suppose I could have said "like a galah". Didn't occur to me. Add it to my mum failings. But they are hugely respectful of women , and most of their schooling lives have been closer friends with girls than boys so it obviously didn't ruin them.
Sometimes people say silly things. Ain't the end of the world. I did say I felt guilty about it.
P.S Girls do screech ( and scream in that  particular high pitch when playing games and stuff   #notallgirls) :ph34r:

#48 kimasa

Posted 02 August 2019 - 11:17 AM

Kids screech. Doesn't matter what is between their legs, most do it at some point, some don't. It's developmentally normal behaviour for young children when excited, they haven't learned yet to contain that excitement.

It has nothing to do with their sex, however it has been aligned with a female "trait" because we like to assign vocal behaviours like nagging, b**ching and squealing to women to put them down.

Just like how girls also kick and hit, but we assign that behaviour to boys because we think boys must be violent.

Edited by kimasa, 02 August 2019 - 11:18 AM.


#49 RPM

Posted 02 August 2019 - 11:50 AM

I agree its a terrible thing to say.

Particularly because boys don't tend to get told to stop being angry.  It seems to always be the "gentle emotions" that they are told to stop.

This results in them thinking the only acceptable emotion is anger, which can lead to angry men.

We should encourage boys to cry, to express hurt, to understand when other people are hurting.

#50 retemac

Posted 02 August 2019 - 01:40 PM

View PostKallie88, on 01 August 2019 - 07:03 PM, said:



Think it might've been your boy's, mine scream like banshees lol

Yeah my boy whines far worse than my girl




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