Jump to content

Study with toddler underfoot? Or wait?


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 cassiopoeia

Posted 29 July 2019 - 12:35 PM

Hi there

My story is this
I'm 36; husband 50;
2 kids 4 (kindy) and nearly 2
I was made redundant beginning of the year
Started a bunch of house projects with my payout; mostly done now apart from the never ending decluttering!
After 18 years in a sorta kinda this'll do job/industry I realised what I want to do with my life but involves some pre-req classes and 4 yrs at uni- which I don't actually mind.
Started a yr 11 pre-req (physics) and did great - I got an A for Sem 1
Started a tax class for short term income  and did terribly (turns out I have zero interest in doing taxes that don't involve me getting money back 🤣)

Crunched endless numbers but still short and managed to get a nightfill job which is fine and pays well.

My problem is they are wanting a set amount of hours from me which is more commitment than I was hoping to give;
I am struggling to sleep enough as well as failing at keeping the girls in a respectable bedtime routine (husband - I won't get started; but sometimes they still up when I get home at 12:30am😵)  

My little one is in daycare when I do school; which is 2 days a week(which we don't mind actually as we think it is beneficial to her anyway); plus my dad looks after them when he can once a week ( I have 3 classes a week)

So my qu is this - should I give up the study for a couple of years and then knuckle down once both girls are in school? (And hopefully scale back my work as well once I have some history with them)

It will push my plan back by 2 years with me graduating at nearly 47 instead of 45...
(Would have if we'd decided to have one more baby anyway - which sadly we will not )(decided we would put ourselves under added pressure as well as we are getting too old)

Should I quit school for now?

It just feels like the straw that broke the camel's back

Would love to hear everyone's thoughts..




#2 ERipley

Posted 29 July 2019 - 12:54 PM

Can you study part time? What is the work load like for study? Some things require a lot more spare time than others.

#3 molinero

Posted 29 July 2019 - 01:20 PM

You are looking at a 10-year timeframe and a lot is going to change in your life over that period. Your kids will be in school/high school. Your husband will be 60.

Every year from now until then will be different in terms of what you can expect to achieve with your units of study and how you will balance that out with formal and informal childcare. The level of difficulty with this course could also change as you move on from the pre-requisite units to the formal tertiary units.

But no, I would never suggest quitting study unless it is becoming a huge huge issue.

Part time or even deferring for a semester are valid options while you sort out this bedtime routine stuff. But it's also not fair that you might have to put your career aspirations on hold just because your DH can't commit to a solid bedtime routine. Midnight for a young child is pretty rediculous.

#4 Staying Strange

Posted 29 July 2019 - 01:20 PM

I started studying (again - my masters) when my eldest was just turned 4 and my twins were 18 months.

I've been studying part time and to be honest, I am finding it harder to find time now that DD the eldest is at school - the activities, parties etc are so much more time consuming than previously.

Will work accept less set hours than what they are offering/want?

Is it possible to study part time until you find your grove?

Are there other options available to you? (eg can your 2 yr old pick up another day - even a short day at daycare to allow you study time? )  

What sorts of things are you struggling with?

Since I returned to work (a few weeks after I started studying) we cook weekly- fortnightly in big batches so that we're not cooking every night (or at least not cooking a lot, eg we might cook fresh pasta with sauce from the oven, or fresh rice to go with the curry mince from the freezer. Or we'll make roast chicken on sunday then have chicken soup on monday (so just make the soup) and then on tuesday have chicken tacos/wraps etc)

Also what is your hubby struggling with re: getting the kids to bed? I know mine isn't able to manage like I do. So we adapt our night routine when I'm on call and not home so he can manage it. Its not ideal but as he has built up his confidence it is slowly looking more and more like the routine I do with the kids when I'm on my own. - I know its not ideal, as they should be able to manage, but maybe tweaking things just a smidge until he manages better may be an option.

good luck making your decision

#5 cassiopoeia

Posted 01 August 2019 - 01:28 PM

Hi everyone; and thanks for the thoughtful replies. So I talked to my school; and they are happy for me to attend class if/when I can (and bypass the attendance requirement) provided I keep in contact with my teacher via email and if course;  do the work at home and keep up.

I feel so much better about it and hopefully I can maintain all. Once things calm down I can put more into my class; and they are telling me to just aim for a pass grade so I dont overdo it :)

Things are looking good :)




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.