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Study with toddler underfoot? Or wait?

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#1 cassiopoeia

Posted 29 July 2019 - 12:35 PM

Hi there

My story is this
I'm 36; husband 50;
2 kids 4 (kindy) and nearly 2
I was made redundant beginning of the year
Started a bunch of house projects with my payout; mostly done now apart from the never ending decluttering!
After 18 years in a sorta kinda this'll do job/industry I realised what I want to do with my life but involves some pre-req classes and 4 yrs at uni- which I don't actually mind.
Started a yr 11 pre-req (physics) and did great - I got an A for Sem 1
Started a tax class for short term income  and did terribly (turns out I have zero interest in doing taxes that don't involve me getting money back 🤣)

Crunched endless numbers but still short and managed to get a nightfill job which is fine and pays well.

My problem is they are wanting a set amount of hours from me which is more commitment than I was hoping to give;
I am struggling to sleep enough as well as failing at keeping the girls in a respectable bedtime routine (husband - I won't get started; but sometimes they still up when I get home at 12:30am😵)  

My little one is in daycare when I do school; which is 2 days a week(which we don't mind actually as we think it is beneficial to her anyway); plus my dad looks after them when he can once a week ( I have 3 classes a week)

So my qu is this - should I give up the study for a couple of years and then knuckle down once both girls are in school? (And hopefully scale back my work as well once I have some history with them)

It will push my plan back by 2 years with me graduating at nearly 47 instead of 45...
(Would have if we'd decided to have one more baby anyway - which sadly we will not )(decided we would put ourselves under added pressure as well as we are getting too old)

Should I quit school for now?

It just feels like the straw that broke the camel's back

Would love to hear everyone's thoughts..

#2 ERipley

Posted 29 July 2019 - 12:54 PM

Can you study part time? What is the work load like for study? Some things require a lot more spare time than others.

#3 molinero

Posted 29 July 2019 - 01:20 PM

You are looking at a 10-year timeframe and a lot is going to change in your life over that period. Your kids will be in school/high school. Your husband will be 60.

Every year from now until then will be different in terms of what you can expect to achieve with your units of study and how you will balance that out with formal and informal childcare. The level of difficulty with this course could also change as you move on from the pre-requisite units to the formal tertiary units.

But no, I would never suggest quitting study unless it is becoming a huge huge issue.

Part time or even deferring for a semester are valid options while you sort out this bedtime routine stuff. But it's also not fair that you might have to put your career aspirations on hold just because your DH can't commit to a solid bedtime routine. Midnight for a young child is pretty rediculous.

#4 Staying Strange

Posted 29 July 2019 - 01:20 PM

I started studying (again - my masters) when my eldest was just turned 4 and my twins were 18 months.

I've been studying part time and to be honest, I am finding it harder to find time now that DD the eldest is at school - the activities, parties etc are so much more time consuming than previously.

Will work accept less set hours than what they are offering/want?

Is it possible to study part time until you find your grove?

Are there other options available to you? (eg can your 2 yr old pick up another day - even a short day at daycare to allow you study time? )  

What sorts of things are you struggling with?

Since I returned to work (a few weeks after I started studying) we cook weekly- fortnightly in big batches so that we're not cooking every night (or at least not cooking a lot, eg we might cook fresh pasta with sauce from the oven, or fresh rice to go with the curry mince from the freezer. Or we'll make roast chicken on sunday then have chicken soup on monday (so just make the soup) and then on tuesday have chicken tacos/wraps etc)

Also what is your hubby struggling with re: getting the kids to bed? I know mine isn't able to manage like I do. So we adapt our night routine when I'm on call and not home so he can manage it. Its not ideal but as he has built up his confidence it is slowly looking more and more like the routine I do with the kids when I'm on my own. - I know its not ideal, as they should be able to manage, but maybe tweaking things just a smidge until he manages better may be an option.

good luck making your decision

#5 cassiopoeia

Posted 01 August 2019 - 01:28 PM

Hi everyone; and thanks for the thoughtful replies. So I talked to my school; and they are happy for me to attend class if/when I can (and bypass the attendance requirement) provided I keep in contact with my teacher via email and if course;  do the work at home and keep up.

I feel so much better about it and hopefully I can maintain all. Once things calm down I can put more into my class; and they are telling me to just aim for a pass grade so I dont overdo it :)

Things are looking good :)

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