Jump to content

Two miscarriages and about to start the crazy ride again...


  • Please log in to reply
55 replies to this topic

#1 LadyKJStorm

Posted 28 July 2019 - 11:30 AM

So ive had 3 transfers, 2 pregnancies and 2 miscarriages at 8 and 9 weeks. Ive got 2 embryos left in the freezer which will be transferred this cycle. After which dr wants to take 6 month break to do more tests (despite the fact i had an enforced 3-4 month break after each miscarriage.

I worry that i will never become a mother and i dont know quite how to cope with that. Hasnt been helped by my sister having a baby which had a due date the same week my first bub would have. Added to that shes suddenly become the fount of all knowledge... sigh. She has got no emotional intelligence at all. Just keeps telling me how hard it is and that she doesn't think ill be able to do it myself and therefore probably a blessing in disguise that it hasn't worked.

I must admit i wasnt speaking to her for a while before her baby shower because the numbers werent looking good for pregnancy no. 2 and she was just too much effort to deal with. I did go to her shower while i was still physically having the miscarriage. I know this isnt nice but the look on her face when i walked up to the bar and ordered a vodka and orange. Priceless and funny! I hadnt spoken to her in almost a month and she hadnt realised id miscarried.

This is a bit rambly but just needed to try to get the nerves/fear out.

Day 7 blood tests tomorrow. Still probably a fortnight away from transfer.

#2 Beanette

Posted 28 July 2019 - 01:13 PM

I'm so sorry for your losses xxx

Wishing you lots of luck for your upcoming transfer :bighug:

#3 taters

Posted 28 July 2019 - 01:29 PM

Im really sorry for your losses. I too have had 2 miscarriages and both were heartbreaking. We had a long journey to have our son but we got there and I truly hope you do too.

As for your sister - how awful. But that is a reflection of who she is not you. You taking the high ground says everything.

I told only one friend after my first miscarriage (which was absolutely heartbreaking and physically so painful) and was essentially told it was a blessing in disguise. I wanted to scream at her... but i didnt. I dont know why people feel the need to say anything other than I am so sorry or that I understand your pain... seriously.

Anyway I wanted to say I understand and best of luck.

#4 BeachesBaby

Posted 28 July 2019 - 04:57 PM

LadyKJ that's so incredibly cruel of your sister to say those things to you. I also have a friend who never wanted kids and when we were both pregnant together, before my mmc, she was 2 months ahead of me and had suddenly acquired vast amounts of baby-related knowledge...knowledge I'd already had because I spent the year before that trying desperately to get pregnant, and hoping and planning for when it happened. It's really infuriating sometimes.

I also worry I won't become a mom, ever. I see other people with kids, even those struggling with secondary infertility, and I still feel envy for them that at least they know they're someone's mom. All your feelings are valid and fair. It sucks to feel that way, but I'm hopeful for you and for this FET. I'm starting a new IVF cycle where we're do PGS testing, since it seems like we might be having embryo issues, so I'm right there with you, nervous, scared, hopeful, all the feelings. Please keep us updated on how you go, I'll be crossing my fingers for you.

#5 LadyKJStorm

Posted 28 July 2019 - 09:26 PM

Thanks everyone for listening. I really needed it. I appreciate it.

Now to try to get some sleep so i get up early enough to get to the blood tests.

#6 LadyKJStorm

Posted 29 July 2019 - 09:03 PM

So blood tests went as expected. Don't want to see me for another three days. Then I'll get to have this fun again...

#7 ckmelb

Posted 29 July 2019 - 09:35 PM

Hi ladykjstorm, sounds like you have been on a rough ride. I'm sorry you have been through all of this.

I think the waiting part of IVF is probably one of the hardest parts, so wishing the time goes quickly for you until transfer and beyond.

Also sorry your sister isn't being helpful at all. Yes having a baby is hard (after tonnes of failed IVF I have one on the way and I am also worried how I will cope on my own - also single mother). But at least you know it's just you and have made that decision with open eyes not expecting to have a partner to help (or having to look after them too).

In the meantime to help with the waiting could you start some planning for Plan Bs? Your FS wants a 6 month break. That's fine, but book a second opinion to have during that enforced break (you can always cancel and you don't need the referral until directly before the appointment). I may have had 3 second opinions last year ...
It was sort of like therapy and helped me see whether the grass was greener (and it was mostly not, which is why I stayed with my FS through many unsuccessful cycles). My poor GP indulged me and kept giving me the referrals ...

#8 Sara.xoxo

Posted 29 July 2019 - 11:50 PM

So sorry for your losses ladykjstorm. I had 3 mc prior to having my DS. Family can be really cruel, intentional or not it still hurts. Like the previous post I was going to suggest a second opinion if you didn’t want to wait 6 months if this next cycle is unsuccessful.
Best of luck xoxo

#9 LadyKJStorm

Posted 01 August 2019 - 09:22 PM

So went in for more blood tests today and was advised to come in again on Saturday. My estrogen has dropped and they think they are going to need to cancel the FET cycle unless it dramatically increases in the next couple of days.

I'm so upset. Its now been more than 18 months that I've been attending the clinic and I haven't had a pregnancy that's lasted more than 10 weeks and noone can tell me why just that they can't see a reason for it and to keep trying.

Mum is telling me to be patient and I am telling her that I have been.

I just want to cry.

#10 BeachesBaby

Posted 02 August 2019 - 08:35 AM

I’m so sorry ladyKJ, that’s awful and such heartbreaking news when you find out mid cycle that something isn’t going right. I’ve cried many tears through my ivf journey, so give yourself permission to cry and rant and yell if you need to. Be patient is something I’ve heard over and over, but you’ve already been so patient, we shouldn’t have to just keep being patient, so you deserve to feel upset. I hope for you that your next result is more positive, I’ll be crossing my fingers for you.

#11 LadyKJStorm

Posted 03 August 2019 - 03:43 PM

So another blood test and the estrogen has increased again. Need to go back on Tuesday for more tests. They are now playing the wait and see game as to whether they will cancel the cycle or not.

I had this last time but it was with what the HCG was doing. Somehow I've now got it before they do the transfer :p

#12 LadyKJStorm

Posted 06 August 2019 - 01:34 PM

They've cancelled the cycle today.

#13 BeachesBaby

Posted 06 August 2019 - 06:25 PM

I just wanted to say how disappointing this must be for you. I’m really sorry it wasn’t so much back and forth, and then to be canceled at the end. Do they have a plan for the next cycle?

#14 LadyKJStorm

Posted 06 August 2019 - 09:04 PM

They are going to medicate me for the next cycle. Apparently that would help.

#15 ckmelb

Posted 06 August 2019 - 09:18 PM

Sorry to hear that LadyKJ, must be very disappointing after all that waiting. I did hear that a medicated cycle can give more control for transfers. Hopefully that does the trick for you

#16 LadyKJStorm

Posted 06 August 2019 - 09:26 PM

I hope so. Im now coming up on 2 years since i first started this crazy go round. Still no baby in sight.

#17 LadyKJStorm

Posted 26 August 2019 - 08:32 PM

Time after time. Here we go again... :)

#18 AdelTwins

Posted 26 August 2019 - 09:30 PM

I have my fingers crossed for twins for you!

#19 dreamweaver80

Posted 26 August 2019 - 09:45 PM

Good luck LadyKJ!

I was following along one of your transfers a few months back that didn't go well. I'll have everything crossed for you for this one x

#20 LadyKJStorm

Posted 26 August 2019 - 11:52 PM

Thanks. They've decided to medicate me this time. Should be interesting.

#21 LadyKJStorm

Posted 06 September 2019 - 06:12 PM

So good to go apparently. Transfer on Wednesday. Fingers crossed.

#22 LadyKJStorm

Posted 11 September 2019 - 04:27 PM

Transfer today. Fingers crossed and now the terrible 2 week wait. :(

#23 NastyGal

Posted 11 September 2019 - 06:38 PM

Good luck!! Hope the time goes quickly for you...

#24 ilovethebeach

Posted 11 September 2019 - 08:37 PM

Just piping in to wish you a massive dose of good luck

#25 LadyKJStorm

Posted 11 September 2019 - 11:30 PM

So earlier tonight I was congratulating myself on how calm I was about it. I wasn't looking up the stats or freaking out or anything.

I go to climb into bed and then it starts. I have looked up names, costs of twin strollers (cause for some reason I've decided with 2 embryos transferred I'm having twins) oh and how much money I have for paving. I'm having a pool installed in the next month (finally approved by council after some unexpected costs - I think I am definitely going to go over budget).

So much for that nice and calm person....


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.