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Annoying aquaintance.


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#1 *Ker*

Posted 18 July 2019 - 12:00 AM

Might be long...please bear with me!

DD goes to school and plays sport with a girl, X, we've known for years. X's mum considers me a friend, but I really am getting to the stage that I can't stand her!!

I'm team manager and duty of care for DD's sport club and have to set up and organise scorers, time keepers and the girl's waters. And I like to actually watch my daughter play. X's mum seems to see the sport as HER socialising time and talks incessantly at me while I'm trying to get things organised and during the whole game. I've told her a couple of times to the be quiet and watch,  and she does for a couple of minutes then starts talking again. During practice, she comes and knocks on my car window and wants to sit and chat for an hour.

She is also quite possibly the stupidest and most gullible person I've ever met. She's one of those that shares the "share this and you'll be in the running for a free cruise/free groceries for a year" crap on FB. A couple months back, she called me all outraged and said "have you heard about this safe schools program?" I said yes, ages ago. She said "it's promoting pedophilia!" (She read it on FB and just blindly believed it). I replied "oh my god. It is not. It's about acceptance for transgender kids." Then she comes out with "oh I don't believe in this transgender stuff. It's all stupid and the parents just need to say no to their kids". She was also completely horrified I have gay friends.

I like to be left alone at training. I take a coffee, a blanket and a book. It's the ONLY time I don't have kids saying "mum, I want-" or cats sitting on me, or dogs snoring. I like the quiet. I love the solitude. I don't want her babbling incessantly at me. I like to WATCH my daughter play. I don't want her talking at me. It's gotten so bad the last couple of trainings, I've had to drop my daughter off and go hide somewhere else. Even tonight, I drove to the local shopping centre and browsed Big W for 45 minutes to avoid her.

She's smothering me. And sooner or later, I am going to completely lose my sh*t and yell at her.

How do I tell her more politely to GO AWAY.

#2 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 18 July 2019 - 12:23 AM

Get a transgender boyfriend or girlfriend?

Sorry no sensible suggestions but that sounds like one of those really tricky things to navigate, I hope someone has better suggestions than me.

#3 Mrs Twit

Posted 18 July 2019 - 01:05 AM

That sounds so annoying. Are there no other parents she could chat to? Could you

- Pretend you are on your phone when she comes over
- Tell her sorry you don't have time to chat tonight as you have work to do and bring a laptop and pretend until she goes away, or you have to finish your novel tonight for bookclub
- give her a job to do like scoring that requires her to pay attention, or get her running around do the water bottles or something

But most importantly don't let her sit in the car with you. If she comes over and wants to get in, you get out for whatever reason you can think of. Even if it is just to stretch your legs, g to the toilet or whatever. Once she is sitting in your car you are trapped with her.

I have a very annoying co-worker who likes to stand in the doorway of my office (trapping me) and talk AT me. Some days I let him talk for a bit, and then if he doesn't go away I quickly finish my glass of water and walk past him out of my office to fill my glass up all the while smiling and nodding. It is the only thing I can think of to get away from him. Then he usually wanders back to his office. If he doesn't then I will add in a trip to the toilet just to get rid of him.

#4 FEdeRAL

Posted 18 July 2019 - 01:11 AM

*
POPULAR

Tell her you have developed feelings for her and want to take things to the next level.

Watch her run away.

#5 Sancti-claws

Posted 18 July 2019 - 05:33 AM

Fingers to lips and a quick "sh - I am watching the game"?

Put her on restricted on Facebook?

It may well be that she has worn out the other, less polite, parents.

#6 alfoil hat

Posted 18 July 2019 - 05:42 AM

View PostFEdeRAL, on 18 July 2019 - 01:11 AM, said:

Tell her you have developed feelings for her and want to take things to the next level.

Watch her run away.

Oh, and you’re transgender

#7 Prancer is coming

Posted 18 July 2019 - 05:46 AM

Lock the car doors at training.  If she knocks on the window, open it up and talk.  She will probably ask if she can come in.  Just say no, I am sick/I have work to do / I have team manager stuff I need to concentrate on / I have a headache.  If she does not ask and keeps chatting, just say I need to get back to x or concentrate on training as team manager and wind the window back up.

For the game, I would just keep reminding her you need to concentrate as team manager. And plenty of options for not seeing her FB posts.

#8 literally nobody

Posted 18 July 2019 - 06:30 AM

I had a person like this bother me... all the hints in the world went over her head.. i had to literally cut her off.

#9 spr_maiden

Posted 18 July 2019 - 06:46 AM

Put headphones on when you're on the sideline. When she approaches you/taps you on the shoulder, half smile,  point to the headphones,  DON'T  take then off and go back to watching the game. If she persists,  tell her you're listening to an addictive podcast that you must finish and go back to ignoring her.
And yes,  don't let her get in your car.

That's all I've got. Good luck.

#10 WTFJerk

Posted 18 July 2019 - 06:50 AM

Fart in the cat

#11 IamzFeralz

Posted 18 July 2019 - 07:06 AM

I vote headphones too.

#12 Melbs2010

Posted 18 July 2019 - 07:14 AM

Another for headphones. From time to time I put them in at work with nothing playing just to be left alone.  It works.

#13 marple

Posted 18 July 2019 - 07:18 AM

View PostWTFJerk, on 18 July 2019 - 06:50 AM, said:

Fart in the cat

well that might get rid of the cat  :rofl:

#14 Caribou

Posted 18 July 2019 - 07:20 AM

That is incredibly frustrating. It’s very hard to shake people off who act like this. They can be very oblivious to hints.

It happened to me once. So I ghosted her. Posted Image I felt awful, but if I had to listen anymore to her life story and watch her DD hit mine (and she laugh and say oh, kids! All while DD is crying), I think I’d have seriously considered moving interstate.

So I blocked her on social media. She emailed a few times to ask what she did wrong but I ignored it. It wasn’t going to help her or me by declaring I found her annoying.

I get this might be a bit harder with soccer matches etc, maybe next season you take a break? or change clubs. like a club 30 mins away.

Edited by Caribou, 18 July 2019 - 07:21 AM.


#15 gracie1978

Posted 18 July 2019 - 07:30 AM

Just be very firm.
This is my time that I need to decompress and be on my own.
Sorry I'm not free to chat.

You might also need to write it down for her.  Your subtle might be incomprehensible to her.

I feel like I've been on the other side of this.  I was quite hurt that the person didn't just say something.  Instead they got a third party involved and I felt really embarrassed.  I was 19 or 20 and felt so humiliated, I went and found a new job.

As I've gotten older I can recognise the introverts who are quite happy to sit there in silence.  So I don't chat incessantly at them anymore.  I think she is a little unaware.

#16 Just Jack

Posted 18 July 2019 - 07:31 AM

View PostWTFJerk, on 18 July 2019 - 06:50 AM, said:

Fart in the cat

Best. Typo. Ever.

#17 Holidayromp

Posted 18 July 2019 - 09:10 AM

View Postmarple, on 18 July 2019 - 07:18 AM, said:



well that might get rid of the cat  :rofl:

It might blow it up!

#18 Tokra

Posted 18 July 2019 - 09:46 AM

Omg how annoying!

I think you are just going to have to be firm as hell with her.

Tell her you don't feel like talking and want to be on your own.

During the game, just tell her you are busy and can't talk.

Engage as little as possible.

It's hard, I know.

Delete her off facebook too. If she notices tell her that her homophobic ways offend you.

#19 ~THE~MAGICIAN~

Posted 18 July 2019 - 09:51 AM

View Post*Ker*, on 18 July 2019 - 12:00 AM, said:

Might be long...please bear with me!

DD goes to school and plays sport with a girl, X, we've known for years. X's mum considers me a friend, but I really am getting to the stage that I can't stand her!!

I'm team manager and duty of care for DD's sport club and have to set up and organise scorers, time keepers and the girl's waters. And I like to actually watch my daughter play. X's mum seems to see the sport as HER socialising time and talks incessantly at me while I'm trying to get things organised and during the whole game. I've told her a couple of times to the be quiet and watch,  and she does for a couple of minutes then starts talking again. During practice, she comes and knocks on my car window and wants to sit and chat for an hour.

She is also quite possibly the stupidest and most gullible person I've ever met. She's one of those that shares the "share this and you'll be in the running for a free cruise/free groceries for a year" crap on FB. A couple months back, she called me all outraged and said "have you heard about this safe schools program?" I said yes, ages ago. She said "it's promoting pedophilia!" (She read it on FB and just blindly believed it). I replied "oh my god. It is not. It's about acceptance for transgender kids." Then she comes out with "oh I don't believe in this transgender stuff. It's all stupid and the parents just need to say no to their kids". She was also completely horrified I have gay friends.

I like to be left alone at training. I take a coffee, a blanket and a book. It's the ONLY time I don't have kids saying "mum, I want-" or cats sitting on me, or dogs snoring. I like the quiet. I love the solitude. I don't want her babbling incessantly at me. I like to WATCH my daughter play. I don't want her talking at me. It's gotten so bad the last couple of trainings, I've had to drop my daughter off and go hide somewhere else. Even tonight, I drove to the local shopping centre and browsed Big W for 45 minutes to avoid her.

She's smothering me. And sooner or later, I am going to completely lose my sh*t and yell at her.

How do I tell her more politely to GO AWAY.

Mmm, I don't know. I actually think you are being quite mean. I am THAT person. I get lonely, and that is sometimes the only adult convo I have outside the house and damn, I look forward to it.

Give her a job to do to help you, she will probably enjoy it.

#20 Lifesgood

Posted 18 July 2019 - 09:58 AM

View Post~THE~MAGICIAN~, on 18 July 2019 - 09:51 AM, said:

Mmm, I don't know. I actually think you are being quite mean. I am THAT person. I get lonely, and that is sometimes the only adult convo I have outside the house and damn, I look forward to it.

Give her a job to do to help you, she will probably enjoy it.
I don't think you are being mean at all, but I do agree that this is a good suggestion.

Can you get her to do some work that will keep her busy?

#21 Kreme

Posted 18 July 2019 - 10:12 AM

I was going to suggest becoming the scorer yourself, because then you need to concentrate on the game. However maybe a better solution is to ask her to score!

As for training I’d just do what you’re doing, drop and run!

#22 Lady Gray

Posted 18 July 2019 - 10:30 AM

Why should you have to tiptoe around someone who spouts such horrible things!  I would just tell her that I'm not interested in being around someone that speaks so ignorantly about transgendered people or that is homophobic and you are not interested in continuing the acquaintance.

#23 Holidayromp

Posted 18 July 2019 - 10:43 AM

View Post~THE~MAGICIAN~, on 18 July 2019 - 09:51 AM, said:



Mmm, I don't know. I actually think you are being quite mean. I am THAT person. I get lonely, and that is sometimes the only adult convo I have outside the house and damn, I look forward to it.

Give her a job to do to help you, she will probably enjoy it.

Whilst giving her a job to do is a great idea it is her opinions that are also rubbing the op the wrong way.

It sounds like the friendship is the wrong fit.

#24 melanieb530

Posted 18 July 2019 - 10:45 AM

I like the solution about getting her to score.
My son in on the spectrum (although very “intelligent”) and really has no idea how to recognise when someone is not interested in his conversation.
He needs people to be direct e.g. say. Thanks for the great conversation but I have finished having a conversation with you now because I need to do “X” now. We can talk again (and give some parameters of when you next have time).
Or
I have 10 minutes to listen to you now but when the 10 minutes are up you will need to stop talking because I need to concentrate on doing “X” and my brain can’t concentrate on listening and doing something else at the same time.
He is very accepting of this if it is spelled out clearly. He really needs it spelled out clearly. He honestly doesn’t want to or intend to be perceived as annoying.

#25 Tokra

Posted 18 July 2019 - 11:06 AM

View Post~THE~MAGICIAN~, on 18 July 2019 - 09:51 AM, said:

Mmm, I don't know. I actually think you are being quite mean. I am THAT person. I get lonely, and that is sometimes the only adult convo I have outside the house and damn, I look forward to it.

Give her a job to do to help you, she will probably enjoy it.

Are you saying you interrupt team members when they tell you to shush? lol. If you do, stop doing it haha.

As a PP said, it's some of her opinions (such as being homophobic) that are a problem. I personally am not interested in being friends with anyone who thinks like that. My XP was like that and I won't ever make that mistake again.




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