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Toilet training - Poo refusal - how did you get your break through?

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#1 Lallalla

Posted 17 July 2019 - 01:30 PM

My 3 year old is doing my head in. She has been reliably weeing on the toilet for months, she has previously done poos on the toilet but has not now for weeks (months??).

I have tried every trick I can think of to get her over the line to no avail. Today she asked to go to toilet, did a wee and because I suspected she needed to poo I got her to stay there while I read her a book about doing a poo (Liam goes poo on the toilet). Then gave her the book to look at while I sorted her sister out - she immediately hopped off, refused to get back on, pooped her pants 2-3 minutes later.

I’m at my wits end. I’ve just put a cloth nappy on her ( I’m more worried she’ll regress with wees if I put her in a disposable, they’re a bit too good at their job).

Does anyone have something, other than bribery (I’ve offered her the world pretty much) or punishment (her dad did that, even though everyone/thing says not too) that worked?

For one of her sisters it was a particular toilet training book (I use the potty) that for some reason spoke to her and she never regressed again.

For the other (her twin), it was a singing potty - the kind that only sings if you make a deposit - that got her from complete toilet refusal to completely toilet trained in a matter of days.

I am running out of ideas.

#2 Tokra

Posted 17 July 2019 - 01:51 PM

I'm hearing ya!

Same issue here, so hanging on for answers haha.

#3 Caribou

Posted 17 July 2019 - 02:03 PM

We’re in same boat. He’s 2 but wees well on toilets but don’t ask him to do a poo!

I’ve tried
3 different books, bribery, bubbles, stamps, smarties...

I’m at loss too.

#4 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 17 July 2019 - 02:07 PM

This is pretty common. DS1 refused to poo on the toilet, but would hold it until his night nappy went on.  So his was an easy fix, i just stopped night nappies and put the potty in his room.

Have you tried a potty?  its often more comfortable for young kids, they dont see their poo disappearing..

also, i have heard of people cutting holes in nappies and sitting their kid on the toilet, with the nappy on, to do a poo. Just to get them used to the idea.  Or put the nappy in the base of the potty.

#5 lalalove

Posted 17 July 2019 - 02:29 PM

I tried every trick in the book....

What worked? Nothing.

One day he decided to do a poo on the toilet and that was it. Hasn't looked back since.

It can be incredibly frustrating OP. I hope you get a breakthrough soon.

#6 *Andi*

Posted 17 July 2019 - 02:34 PM

DD1 did this. She day-trained a couple of months before she turned 3, for wee anyway. She then ditched the night nappy just after 3. There was a stack of pull-ups she would go to when she needed to poo. I told her that once the pull-ups were finished, there wouldn't be any more. We had no issues after they ran out, I think the gentle lead-up helped. I'm about to go through the same with DD2 as she is doing exactly the same thing. Two nights without nappies, now to get through the stash of pull-ups! Good luck.

#7 SeaPrincess

Posted 17 July 2019 - 04:16 PM

If you haven’t already, I agree with trying a potty. One of mine was so little that his feet didn’t reach the step when he was on the toilet. He was fine to poo on the potty with his feet on the ground.

#8 Hands Up

Posted 17 July 2019 - 04:19 PM

Same problem here. Has been toilet trained for wees for months but insists on a nappy for poos. We are just going with it but he starts preschool next year so six months to come up with a solution. Completely immune to bribery. No currency for this whatsoever.

#9 PhillipaCrawford

Posted 17 July 2019 - 06:13 PM

This was 25 years ago and perhaps I wouldn't do it now but.....
DS nearly 4 would only poo in pants, knew he needed to and would go and hide.

So I took him to the shop and allowed him to purchase a big bag of freddo frogs - he was No 1 child and so of course we never had sugar in the house, so a huge treat.

Frogs ceremoniously placed in jar and lots of 'Won't it be great when you do a poo in the loo and you can eat a frog yadda, yadda, yadda.'

Still using undies.

So at my wits end I said "When you poo in the toilet you
get the frog, in your undies mum gets it."

Next day - Poo in undies.
Me sat in front of him for 5 minutes licking, nibling exclaiming about how delicious the frog was (Actually it was full of bubblegum flavoured candy and was so disgusting they only made it for a short time!)

Next day I had a full potty ceremoniously presented to me during a dinner party.

always OK after that - even if I had wrecked his psyche.

#10 Kreme

Posted 17 July 2019 - 06:25 PM

For us the key was DD wanting to do it. She was TT just before 3 but was pooing in night nappies until 3.5. Once she started preschool she really wanted to poo in the toilet but was scared.

We went to the toy shop and she got to choose any toy she wanted (and announced to the shop that this would be her “poo prize”). When the time came that night she was tempted to back out but I held her hands while she did it and she got the toy and we never looked back.

I had offered bribes before but she wasn’t interested. So I had to be patient. For weeks on end I just calmly gave her nappies, changed her and didn’t mention anything about the toilet. She’s very stubborn so if I had nagged her or gone on about it I’m sure it would have taken longer.

#11 ineedmorecoffee

Posted 17 July 2019 - 06:52 PM

The thing that finally worked for dd was the chocolate advent calendars. Every poo in the toilet meant she could open a window and have a piece of chocolate.

Keep trying, something will finally click and work for them.

#12 Grrrumbles

Posted 17 July 2019 - 10:56 PM

Only thing that worked for us was time as she was still in night nappies but did poos occasionally in the toilet.

Going on holidays and her not having the same setup as at home might have got us closer to our goal but in the end no amount of bribing, encouraging or trying to change her ideas really worked.

Whoever told me boys were easier to toilet train than girls was wrong in my experience. DD is tall for her age, well spoken and good at self care otherwise but not using the toilet consistently for poos until after she had turned 4.

#13 MessyJ

Posted 17 July 2019 - 11:11 PM

It took DS 1 year from being easily wee tried to finally doing poos on the toilet. In the mean time he would not actually go anywhere, not even in his sleep nappy!

I resorted to suppositories! :huh: Not fun for either of us but he would hold on soo long he'd start to get constipated so I just had to!! And even THAT wasn't enough to encourage him to just poo on the toilet!

After about 6 months he would go, but would need me to be there and give him a cuddle while he went as he was clearly scared of the feeling of going!!

Now he still occasionally needs support, and will only go at home, not Kindy or out. And it does take me asking for him to go - but at least he goes!!

#14 Mrs Twit

Posted 18 July 2019 - 01:25 AM

I sticky taped a lollipop high up on the outside of the pantry door one morning (in full sight but out of reach). When he got up I pointed to it and said 'when you do a poo in the toilet it's yours'. Had one in half an hour!

#15 Lallalla

Posted 18 July 2019 - 06:59 PM

I wish she would ask for/wait for a nappy! That would be easier than all the poopy undies I have been dealing with.

Maybe because I was so over it I put her back in a nappy yesterday afternoon or maybe because I asked for advice on line - who knows - but this morning she took her night nappy off, took herself to the toilet and did a poo on it! Trying not to get my hopes up that this time it will stick

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