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What’s something hilarious your kids have said?


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#51 soapy

Posted 15 July 2019 - 12:27 AM

Me: DD (4?) please put on your pants.
DD: I don't need pants, I have flashing shoes.

#52 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 15 July 2019 - 07:00 AM

View Postsoapy, on 15 July 2019 - 12:27 AM, said:

Me: DD (4?) please put on your pants.
DD: I don't need pants, I have flashing shoes.

Reminds me of DS2.  Ds2 dressed in nothing but a nappy and gumboots (no socks).  Its less than 5 degrees.
Ds2: outside, outside
Me: you need clothes first
Ds2: no, i dressed, ds2 go outside, ds2 go outside.

#53 born.a.girl

Posted 15 July 2019 - 07:05 AM

View PostmaryanneK, on 14 July 2019 - 09:00 PM, said:

this morning was one of those mornings, 3 little kids under feet, everyone a bit tired and getting on everyone's nerves, trapped inside, raining, etc.

the 'mum! Mum! MUM!!' was coming thick and fast, everyone seemingly needed help, food, drink, toilet, all at once and were talking over each other non stop asking me for things....

I got a bit exasperated and said 'hang ON I can only do one thing at a time"

Miss 5 pipes up with "Well TWO things actually mummy since you do have two hands"

:clap: :rofl:

she's always bl00dy right!


My mother had six kids, and it's not funny, but her refrain that I remember the most is 'I haven't stopped!' if several were at her at once.  Maybe she'd had your daughter's response and decided to change tack.

#54 spr_maiden

Posted 15 July 2019 - 07:39 AM

More cute than funny. DD calls her lap 'laps' because she has two legs. It is so cute,  she insists singular lap is only for people with one leg.  I'll be sad when she stops with this.

#55 Apple14

Posted 15 July 2019 - 08:03 AM

My DD calls any shoe with even a slight heel high ho’s.
I deliberately call them high ho’s so she won’t stop.

#56 Kelly Davatari

Posted 15 July 2019 - 08:08 AM

DS11 yesterday while playing minecraft “You don’t waste diamonds on a hoe!”

He’s not wrong...



#57 cstar

Posted 15 July 2019 - 08:35 AM

My dd when she was about 5, her brother was leaning on her and she turned and says

“I’m not a hooker hanger”

We still call coat hangers, hooker hangers.

#58 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 15 July 2019 - 08:38 AM

These are all great! Keep them coming   :)

#59 lizzybirdsworth

Posted 15 July 2019 - 08:49 AM

Ds2 (almost 8)on Saturday was telling the hairdresser when he grows up he will be a scientist and own a lolly shop so he can be like Willy wonka and make special lollies and then he will be rich and can look after his 2 wives. She was trying so hard not to laugh.

#60 Mollyksy

Posted 15 July 2019 - 09:17 AM

DS is a fussy eater. I'd tried a bunch of things to get him to eat. This one day I learned in, gave him a big hug, told him I loved him very much and I needed him to eat his dinner up so he could grow up big and strong. My little lawyer replied that's ok mum, I don't want to grow up and off he merrily trotted.

#61 Mollyksy

Posted 15 July 2019 - 09:20 AM

DS handed me his paddle pop stick to out in the bin. I asked who would put his rubbish in the bin when he grew up. He looked confused, you mummy he said. I said so we will live together still when you are grown up? Oh yes. I told him that if he bought the house, I was there. He was silent for a bit then said I don't know how to buy a house as I am a kid but I will when I'm a grown up.

#62 Mollyksy

Posted 15 July 2019 - 09:23 AM

Last one, DS at about 4 finally asked how babies come out of mummies tummies. I told him about the natural/usual way. His face looked absolutely horrified. I couldn't help laughing. Because really he is right. The concept is pretty horrifying! I also explained about cesareans (his own method of arriving in the world) which he found much more to his liking!

#63 PooksLikeChristmas

Posted 15 July 2019 - 09:37 AM

View PostMollyksy, on 15 July 2019 - 09:23 AM, said:

Last one, DS at about 4 finally asked how babies come out of mummies tummies. I told him about the natural/usual way. His face looked absolutely horrified. I couldn't help laughing. Because really he is right. The concept is pretty horrifying! I also explained about cesareans (his own method of arriving in the world) which he found much more to his liking!

My DS wanted all the details at 4. For instance, what was stopping the baby from coming out before it was time for birth? If you stuck your finger in, could you tickle the baby’s head? Would the baby maybe fall in the toilet bowl along with a big poo? I had not been prepared to explain the cervix, but there we were.

At age 6, after his cousin’s birth and more questions, he deduced that the first thing he ever looked at was my rear end. He saw a picture of himself shortly after birth and, rubbing the sides of his head said, oh my god, just thinking about this makes me want to have a shower :lol:

#64 lizzybirdsworth

Posted 15 July 2019 - 09:38 AM

Ds2 asked how babies were made and I said I would tell him later (we were at the shops) he replied “don’t worry I will google it”. Um no!

#65 NannyPlumPudding

Posted 15 July 2019 - 11:22 AM

All these stories are reminding me about DS1 (again haha), who googled pregnancy while I was pregnant. he watched an Operation Ouch episode where apparently they are quite detailed.

Cue him asking if I could have a home birth so he could examine my placenta to ensure it was healthy...didn't give two hoots about his sister being born he just wanted to see it for medical reasons hahahaha

#66 Moo point

Posted 15 July 2019 - 11:36 AM

DS7 has been curious about how babies grow and develop in utero and how they're born for years. He's very curious about science and biology. When we finally had the conversation a couple of years ago about exactly how he was born, he looked at my crotch and said "I came out of THERE?" I said yep. He looked thoughtful then said "what did my head look like??" :D

He also asked why I didn't have a penis and if it hurt when it fell off...

Yesterday's gem: walking together to the park, I winced as there was a sharp pain in my ankle (it's a bit weak). He said "oh it probably a splinter." I said no, I just a had a pain in my ankle but it will go away in a little bit. He said matter-of-factly "well it's probably just a parasite then." :huh:

#67 OrangeSprout

Posted 15 July 2019 - 11:51 AM

DS1 told a female police officer that she looked like a man .. :huh:

The same DS1 took great pride in yelling out we needed "whoopy weed" at a market.. he was in fact referring to silver beet :lol:

#68 nasty snaugh

Posted 15 July 2019 - 12:17 PM

My favourite from DS was when he was about 2.5/3

We were travelling at 110km/h on the freeway when someone blew past us really, really fast. A little voice pipes up from the back seat

"Mummy, is that a f!#kwit?"

Um, yes mate, but we don't use that word, ok?

#69 Mishu

Posted 15 July 2019 - 01:18 PM

DS was about 8 (so 5 years ago) when I asked him if he had finished his chores. He replied “hashtag no comment”.



#70 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 15 July 2019 - 01:27 PM

View PostMollyksy, on 15 July 2019 - 09:23 AM, said:

Last one, DS at about 4 finally asked how babies come out of mummies tummies. I told him about the natural/usual way. His face looked absolutely horrified. I couldn't help laughing. Because really he is right. The concept is pretty horrifying! I also explained about cesareans (his own method of arriving in the world) which he found much more to his liking!

Ds1 absolutely loves a photo the nurse snapped in theatre of him half out of my stomach.  I don't get the attraction myself.  He didn't really seem to regesiter how most babies are born when I explained and was more interested in seeing the scar on my stomach where he came out.

#71 lizzybirdsworth

Posted 15 July 2019 - 02:08 PM

One I just remembered from ds3. He is a thumb sucker and couldn’t pronounce ‘S’. Always sounded like an ‘F’. I’m holding his hand walking ds2 into school and he says “mum stop holding this hand. I need my f**cking thumb”.  I know he was trying to say suck but I’m sure the other parents didn’t

#72 seayork2002

Posted 15 July 2019 - 02:58 PM

With all the moon walk talk of late he has discovered

'Jupiter Saturn Uranus' (said in a certain way)

Not sure if the local supermarket customers find it hilarious we are struggling :smile:

#73 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 15 July 2019 - 03:55 PM

Ds2 just came running in bare bummed.  "nappy dirty, nappy in bin mummy".  He'd decided his nappy was dirty, taken it off and put it in the bin.

#74 kimasa

Posted 15 July 2019 - 04:57 PM

Last term my daughter was convinced that at school she was growing her own flower in a paper cup in performing arts and practicing her song for the school musical in science.

After my trying to convince her that she may have those two muddled, she came out with "Mum. Seriously! You're not even at my school! You can't possibly even know that!"

#75 Lou-bags

Posted 15 July 2019 - 05:01 PM

View PostKelly Davatari, on 15 July 2019 - 08:08 AM, said:

DS11 yesterday while playing minecraft “You don’t waste diamonds on a hoe!”

He’s not wrong... ������������

Presumably he’s talking about a gardening implement and not a woman, otherwise WTAF?!?!




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