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Spin off - infatuation with much younger men?


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#1 ERipley

Posted 13 July 2019 - 07:38 PM

Do you find, as you get older, that you feel slightly guilty being attracted to much younger men? I feel like I’m growing older (almost 40) but my taste in men just is not ageing with me.

I have developed an intense crush on a character in a tv show. The actor is almost 30 (phew!) but he plays a teenager. Eep!

There’s another show I have been watching for 15 years. When I started watching the main characters were older than me. Now I watch reruns where they are so much younger than me and my feelings are a bit mixed about how beautiful they were (early-mid 20s).

Is anyone else having conflicted feelings about this? Tell me it’s totally fine! I love him.

#2 Chchgirl

Posted 13 July 2019 - 07:43 PM

Ha ha 40 is a much younger man to me!!

I don't like them too young though...

#3 little lion

Posted 13 July 2019 - 07:45 PM

I think crushes happen less frequently to me these days as I age. But actually I find that when they do happen, the age range varies a lot from 20s to 50s... Not sure what is going on with me there!

#4 MurderBritches

Posted 13 July 2019 - 07:49 PM

You're older...not dead.

#5 daybreaker

Posted 13 July 2019 - 07:56 PM

I watch the show "Younger" on Stan (you should try it, it's great!) and the main character has to choose between her feelings for the hot 26 year old and the dashing 40 year old.  I definitely prefer the 26 year old!  (I'm in my early 40s :closedeyes:)

#6 ERipley

Posted 13 July 2019 - 07:57 PM

Ok! Where would you draw the line about actually sleeping with a younger man? It’s funny, I can’t imagine most men would even think twice about sleeping with a much younger woman.

#7 ERipley

Posted 13 July 2019 - 07:59 PM

View Postdaybreaker, on 13 July 2019 - 07:56 PM, said:

I watch the show "Younger" on Stan (you should try it, it's great!) and the main character has to choose between her feelings for the hot 26 year old and the dashing 40 year old.  I definitely prefer the 26 year old!  (I'm in my early 40s :closedeyes:)

Ohhhh, that’s quite a nice idea. My crush is 27 apparently. He’s soooooo beautiful.

#8 Ivy Ivy

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:01 PM

There is research showing men aged 20 to 70+ are all most physically attracted to women 18-28 or thereabouts, i.e. when the man is 25 he finds 25yo women hot, and he keeps finding that age hot even when he is 10, 20, 3...50 etc years older.
So I'm not at all surprised that happens for women too.  Youth is healthy, fertile and beautiful.

I feel really guilty when I re-watch this scene in the Twilight movies again and again, with Jake riding up to a crashed-on-motorbike Bella and taking his shirt off in that great way men do with their arm over their backs, to mop up her blood-splattered forehead.  He is so sexy.  But Jake is UNDER 18 in that scene, in real life, and I have to keep reminding myself of this.

#9 ERipley

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:04 PM

View PostIvy Ivy, on 13 July 2019 - 08:01 PM, said:

There is research showing men aged 20 to 70+ are all most physically attracted to women 18-28 or thereabouts, i.e. when the man is 25 he finds 25yo women hot, and he keeps finding that age hot even when he is 10, 20, 3...50 etc years older.
So I'm not at all surprised that happens for women too.  Youth is healthy, fertile and beautiful.

I feel really guilty when I re-watch this scene in the Twilight movies again and again, with Jake riding up to a crashed-on-motorbike Bella and taking his shirt off in that great way men do with their arm over their backs, to mop up her blood-splattered forehead.  He is so sexy.  But Jake is UNDER 18 in that scene, in real life, and I have to keep reminding myself of this.

Ughh, it’s so confusing. 😂

#10 *~~Jess~~*

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:16 PM

View PostERipley, on 13 July 2019 - 07:57 PM, said:

Ok! Where would you draw the line about actually sleeping with a younger man? It’s funny, I can’t imagine most men would even think twice about sleeping with a much younger woman.

I’m 34 and draw the line at 25 and even that kind of felt wrong.

#11 BadCat

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:21 PM

Nothing wrong with crushing on anyone who is of age as far as I'm concerned.

Whether you would act on it given the opportunity is up to you and the circumstances involved.

I'm over 50 and have a crush on a 32 year old musician, a 40 year old musician, and a 42 year old musician. I adore them all but my fave is definitely the 32 yo.  And the 42yo was at his hottest when he was about 35 as per the pic in my sig.

Personally I wouldn't actually lay a hand on any of them, partly because they're all partnered, partly because it would just be weird to me.  I can however, write self insert fics about them to my little heart's content.

#12 **Tiger*Filly**

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:35 PM

I'm 48. In some alternate reality where I wasn't married for 25 years... I reckon my theoretical age range for actually getting together with someone would be 35 to 55. Although if DH wasn't around I don't honestly think I'd bother.
Having said that, a crush is different. I had a bit of a crush on a co-worker last year and he is only 26. Many of the 70 and 80yo's we were working with had a crush on him too, not just me,  he's lovely. That's the point of crush though isn't it,  adds a bit of harmless excitement to your day.
WRT onscreen, I agree it's not comfortable to watch under 18s in situations where you're meant to think they're sexy. Said as someone who does enjoy a teen drama now and then (Vampire Diaries for instance).

#13 Mooples

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:45 PM

View Postdaybreaker, on 13 July 2019 - 07:56 PM, said:

I watch the show "Younger" on Stan (you should try it, it's great!) and the main character has to choose between her feelings for the hot 26 year old and the dashing 40 year old.  I definitely prefer the 26 year old!  (I'm in my early 40s :closedeyes:)

Josh is HOT, I would choose him in a heartbeat. I’m 30 and the actor is about to turn 31 so not at all a younger man.

#14 PixieVee

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:46 PM

Girl, yes.

I swear I was always an older guy ass b**ch but now... nah.

#15 Neo Aerith

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:49 PM

View PostBadCat, on 13 July 2019 - 08:21 PM, said:

And the 42yo was at his hottest when he was about 35 as per the pic in my sig.

Off topic but Badcat may I ask who he is? Every time you post I think to myself how hot that guy is.

My celebrity crushes are all mostly older. Keanu Reeves is 20 years older than me but I think he’s gorgeous. I don’t think there’s anything wrong crushing on younger men though, if you were male no one would bat an eye.

#16 Tinky Winky Woo

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:51 PM

I am about 13 years older than someone I have had a crush on.  But I think I have the crush because I kind of feel like a nurturer to him, because the idea of having no clothes on in front of him scares me to death in a very bad way.

#17 ERipley

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:52 PM

View PostNeo Aerith, on 13 July 2019 - 08:49 PM, said:



Off topic but Badcat may I ask who he is? Every time you post I think to myself how hot that guy is.

My celebrity crushes are all mostly older. Keanu Reeves is 20 years older than me but I think he’s gorgeous. I don’t think there’s anything wrong crushing on younger men though, if you were male no one would bat an eye.

I was going to mention Keanu as the only example of an older man I’m attracted to. Would still prefer him much younger though...

#18 kadoodle

Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:54 PM

IDK; I see younger guys and wonder if they have an older brother, or if my DD1 would like them. Bruce Springsteen is still my #1 crush.

#19 BadCat

Posted 13 July 2019 - 09:05 PM

View PostNeo Aerith, on 13 July 2019 - 08:49 PM, said:

Off topic but Badcat may I ask who he is? Every time you post I think to myself how hot that guy is.


Gerard Way.  He was the singer from My Chemical Romance.  He releases solo music now.  He's 42 and does not look like that.  But he is lovely.  He used to call out sexual harassment and misogyny at his shows.  I once saw an interview where he spoke about the objectification of women in the music industry and how it shouldn't be that way.  He's a comic book artist as well and is responsible for the Umbrella Academy series along with Gabriel Ba.  I love him.

#20 kadoodle

Posted 13 July 2019 - 09:07 PM

View PostBadCat, on 13 July 2019 - 09:05 PM, said:



Gerard Way.  He was the singer from My Chemical Romance.  He releases solo music now.  He's 42 and does not look like that.  But he is lovely.  He used to call out sexual harassment and misogyny at his shows.  I once saw an interview where he spoke about the objectification of women in the music industry and how it shouldn't be that way.  He's a comic book artist as well and is responsible for the Umbrella Academy series along with Gabriel Ba.  I love him.

He looks pretty decrepit now.

#21 BadCat

Posted 13 July 2019 - 09:17 PM

View Postkadoodle, on 13 July 2019 - 09:07 PM, said:

He looks pretty decrepit now.

Hush your mouth.  He's beautiful.

Posted Image

Edited by BadCat, 13 July 2019 - 09:26 PM.


#22 Fourteenyears

Posted 13 July 2019 - 09:36 PM

When it’s all in imaginaryland, like a celebrity crush, then I reckon as long as they’re of age, it’s all good.  After all, you can be any age in your imagination too.

IRL, not so much, because the whole pesky not having much in common thing could come into play.

Personally, I think youth can be wonderfully aesthetic, but I don’t find it particularly sexy.  

I really like faces to look at least slightly lived in - the start of smile wrinkles around the eyes and whatnot.  Which, if Botox isn’t in play, really means folk have to get to at least the age of 30 (which is still waaaay younger than me) before there is a chance of physical attraction kicking in.  

And in an imaginary world where I was single and looking to date, a real life crushee would  slightly older than that before I would dream of acting on it.  

I reckon + or - about 12 years from my age is enough of an age difference for me.  (She says, pretending to herself that she hasn’t entirely aged out of the gaze of folk twelve years younger than her!)

#23 BadCat

Posted 13 July 2019 - 09:43 PM

Also, define crush.

Are we talking only about people being physically attractive?  Because I don't crush only on that.  The hottest person in the world is not attractive to me if I don't know anything about their personality.  I have to like them before I'm interested enough to crush on them.

#24 (feral)epg

Posted 13 July 2019 - 10:52 PM

I think we live in a world where the vast majority of people who are presented to us as sexy - are young.
That just has to feed in to our sub conscience and therefore it is much easier to be attracted to someone who fits the mould.

#25 Chchgirl

Posted 13 July 2019 - 10:53 PM

View PostBadCat, on 13 July 2019 - 09:17 PM, said:



Hush your mouth.  He's beautiful.

Posted Image

If that's decrepit,  I'm in!!

I think mid 40's for me, that's young enough. I'm 51.

I still like Billie Joe Armstrong.  I think he's 47 now.

I like Keanu , he's not much older than me but I've liked him forever!




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