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Wedding day nerves
7 replies to this topic
Posted 12 July 2019 - 09:38 PM
In just under 11 weeks, I am getting married.
Its my first marriage and he is a wonderful, caring and intelligent man. He's pretty special.
Things have been tracking really well in our relationship, I have been happier and healthier than in my whole adult life.
The wedding planning has been coasting along nicely.
Last weekend we handed out all the invitations...and now the nerves have kicked in. I don't have cold feet or any misgivings about marrying him - I definitely want to, but I think it just might be nerves and anxiety as the day gets closer.
Any thoughts and words of wisdom would be much appreciated,
Posted 13 July 2019 - 02:08 AM
Would it help you to reframe it as nervous excitement/anticipation - which is totally normal to feel. Eta nerves are generally normal but adding the anticipation may help you separate it from feelings about your relationship vs the event itself (I'm not sure I'm making sense but it's totally normal to be nervous.
The most important thing on the day is you and your partners happiness. If you're both glowing with happiness everything else could go wrong and everyone will still be over the moon for you.
One of my favourite ever weddings was one disaster after another if you were to look at it written down before the big day but being there in person, it was the most beautiful day filled with love and lots of laughter.
Edited by MooGuru, 13 July 2019 - 02:10 AM.
Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:32 AM
I think the big thing is to remember that you're beginning a marriage, not 'having a wedding'. It will be an amazing day no matter what happens as you are starting the next step together.
Oh, and something will go wrong, but you shouldn't let it get to you no matter what it is. It will just be another story to tell later
Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:40 AM
I recall being told that at least one thing will be wrong- thecake the wrong shape or the flowers the wrong shade or the table settings not right, or... etc etc. BUT ONLY YOU WILL KNOW OR NOTICE, so just sail through like you always meant for orange flowers with pink bows and no one else will care.
Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:52 AM
The wedding day is just that, a day. Being married carries on (hopefully) for life. DH and I have been married for over 15 years, together for nearly 21 (we were 23/24 when we met). We have even managed to survive the major house renovation/extension/build where we moved out for 18m.
My actual wedding day stuff didn’t go as planned but like PP said no one will notice and it is one day. I was a relaxed Bride and I can say that night/following day my cheeks were sore from all my smiling (natural from joy not forced) smiling I did all day... you could not wipe the smile from my face that day. Sure my brother wore dark glasses most of the day looking like he was hung over (had ended up working night shift night before) and I didn’t get a photo with my siblings, sure I walked into the door handle and had a huge bruise on my upper arm (with sleeveless dress) and forgot to apply concealer, but I was just soooo happy that day.
Posted 13 July 2019 - 09:08 AM
Redleaves I remember your story. I am so delighted for you that this day is almost here. It’s sounds perfect.
I thinks it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous excitement about your wedding day.
There may be tiny wrinkles in your day, despite that it will be amazing. Enjoy!
Posted 13 July 2019 - 10:14 AM
WE were married in 1988.
I still remember the dreams in the last few months - like the one where I walked down the aisle in a gown with a huge coffee stain - didn't even drink coffee at the time.
What went wrong?
Hmm... the night before teenage rebel and bridesmaid SIL stayed overnight 2.5 hours away to go to a party, refused to leave me her wedding shoes and realised when she was at the station she didn't have them. God knows what speed she travelled at back to get them - but she made it - Hungover but there.
We forgot to get the service booklets to the church so had a frantic call that guests were arriving but no books.
The photographer's camera broke, the back up didn't work so things came to a halt while a third was ferried over.
PIA FIL got 'lost' on the way to the service - with 4 overseas guests in the car. They never made it we went on without him.
I hope the above list doesn't give you further stress. The day was a dream, despite all that happened I floated through it on a cloud of joy.
We have been married for over 30 years have 3 fantastic kids and a happy, happy life. It is a big stress getting organised, it won't be perfect but it doesn't matter.
You are committing to the person you love in front of people who love you - life doesn't get much better.
Posted 13 July 2019 - 10:32 AM
Heh, my florist guy was late. he'd been pulled over for speeding on the way!
It's like childbirth. One day out of your life and the main event is the actual marriage(or bringing up a human), not the few hours of wedding.
I was so nervous on the day, but the moment I stood at the end of the aisle my anxiety melted away and it's been 21 years of (mostly) happiness since.
I hardly even remember by wedding day itself.
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