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Friend marrying someone they have known for 5 days


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#1 steppingonlego

Posted 11 July 2019 - 03:33 PM

Of course setting off alarm bells massively.

Main points are

Was travelling in Europe met a man from Tunisia.
Knew him for 5 days and he proposed
Now flying him to Australia to get married.

They have known each other two months been in the same
Place physically for 5 days and marrying in October.

I am not super close with this person but this has disaster written all over it.

Anyone who has said anything has been shutdown very quickly.

I doubt there is much I can do or even if I should do.

Just wondered if anyone knew anyone in a similar situation.

I would have thought it would have been hard visa/govt wise for this to even happen!

#2 EsmeLennox

Posted 11 July 2019 - 03:38 PM

I’d be very surprised if they don’t run into some kind of immigration hassles.

On the other hand, I hope it works out.

#3 night jasmine

Posted 11 July 2019 - 03:39 PM

If you’re not super close then stay out of it.

#4 seayork2002

Posted 11 July 2019 - 03:41 PM

My husband proposed 4 days after we met overseas, properly 6 months after that, we have been together 20 years but yeah I have to admit I am thinking the person needs a visa (yes call me cynical).

BUT yes not your business

Edited by seayork2002, 11 July 2019 - 03:42 PM.


#5 kimasa

Posted 11 July 2019 - 03:43 PM

It is.

I have had a friend in that situation with an online boyfriend from America and it broke off long before the visa situation got sorted.

This was many years ago, so maybe it has changed now, but have they done all the paperwork or is she waiting for him to get here before they properly look into it?

#6 Crazyone26989

Posted 11 July 2019 - 03:44 PM

View PostEsmeLennox, on 11 July 2019 - 03:38 PM, said:

I’d be very surprised if they don’t run into some kind of immigration hassles.

On the other hand, I hope it works out.

Given that there are 80,000 couples just sitting in the line waiting for their spousal visa applications to be processed, I would say hassles are certain.

#7 Holidayromp

Posted 11 July 2019 - 04:08 PM

They are both consenting adults.

Not your circus yada yada yada....

But yes it does have train wreck written all over it.

#8 Silver Girl

Posted 11 July 2019 - 04:11 PM

Instead of trying to talk her out of it, I’d be supportive and try to be excited with her. It’s her life to live. It sounds as if she has enough people in her life trying to talk her out of it (which I can understand).

If the marriage doesn’t work out, you can continue supporting her through that.

#9 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 11 July 2019 - 04:12 PM

I have had two people quite close to me marry someone from overseas - one from the UK, one from Vietnam.

Both were together for quite a while prior to the marriages.  Like several years, not months or days.  And the hoops they had to jump through to make it happen were unbelievable.

DH and I were interviewed for one of the couples (as witnessses, supporting their application) and the interrogation we had to go through - how long have you known them, how do you know it's a proper relationship, etc etc.  It is an intrusive process.   Even evidence of photos of the two of them at parties in our house etc to prove their relationship.

I wouldn't be too worried from that point of view.  If their relationship can survive the process, then it's worth it.

Good luck to them.

#10 Dadto2

Posted 11 July 2019 - 04:18 PM

View Poststeppingonlego, on 11 July 2019 - 03:33 PM, said:



I would have thought it would have been hard visa/govt wise for this to even happen!

He has virtually no chance of getting a visa simply based on their marital status. The length of time they have been together is one of the main factors in determining whether they get a visa or not. The marriage certificate = visa gig was canned decades ago and people now face criminal charges if it's proved the marriage/relationship was fake.

#11 Dadto2

Posted 11 July 2019 - 04:20 PM

View PostRuf~Feral~es, on 11 July 2019 - 04:12 PM, said:

I have had two people quite close to me marry someone from overseas - one from the UK, one from Vietnam.

Both were together for quite a while prior to the marriages.  Like several years, not months or days.  And the hoops they had to jump through to make it happen were unbelievable.

DH and I were interviewed for one of the couples (as witnessses, supporting their application) and the interrogation we had to go through - how long have you known them, how do you know it's a proper relationship, etc etc.  It is an intrusive process.   Even evidence of photos of the two of them at parties in our house etc to prove their relationship.



Ex is from the UK, we had been living together for 5+ years in Europe and had to provide all sorts of evidence such as joint bills, photos dating back however many years etc

#12 seayork2002

Posted 11 July 2019 - 04:23 PM

View PostDadto2, on 11 July 2019 - 04:20 PM, said:

Ex is from the UK, we had been living together for 5+ years in Europe and had to provide all sorts of evidence such as joint bills, photos dating back however many years etc

Same for DH, we had to go through heaps for him to live in Australia, weirdly though it was very easy for me to live in the UK I was not even a citizen there and was still called for jury service

#13 2bundles

Posted 11 July 2019 - 04:34 PM

In reverse, I applied for DH to get permanent residency in Canada. We had been married 8 years and had 2 children. They still wanted photos of our engagement, wedding etc. I think the application was around 80 pages!!  He did get it though.

#14 steppingonlego

Posted 11 July 2019 - 05:40 PM

Yes I am inclined to stay out and be supportive as I can be although I am a complete cynic about most things so not great at that.

I think the fact another friend (I work in travel so lots of travelling friends) did something very similar but it was over two years he was overseas he slowly drained her bank account as well as spousal visa etc and once he had citizenship told her he was gay.

So might be a bit wary but will stay out of it.

#15 born.a.girl

Posted 11 July 2019 - 05:49 PM

If you were actually close to this person I'd have said it is actually your circus and your monkeys because what are friends for?


Given you're not, then agree with others, probably a disaster waiting to happen, among many.


I met a couple in Wales, they met in Ghana when she was on holidays there.  They were TEN years and many years of marriage,  into the process of getting him a UK whatever and were up to the appeals stage.  That was going to cost five thousand quid so they were tag teaming in a taxi to get the money together. (We rode with them several times, and the story just came out.)

I could see what she saw in him.  He asked about our travel plans, and when we told him he said 'oh man, can I come with you?' in happy voice.

#16 MissMilla

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:01 PM

Tunisia has desaster written all over it. I live in Europe and here people from north africa are known for trying to marry foreigners, get visas, and support their 'real' family back home afterwards with their spouses money or sometimes their own if they manage to get a job. By real family i mean their wife and kids, not their parents.
I would tell her to be very careful. But if you're not very close, then i guess theres not much you can do.

That being said, Australia makes it extremely difficult for foreigners. DH and I have been married 5 years already when we wanted to move to Australia. You have no idea how complicated it was to get my spousal visa.
They even interviewed us in person to make sure its a real marriage -.- its not like we got married and i applied for a visa straight away, we were married 5 years, living together for 8 years..
I cant imagine that its gonna be easy.

Edited to add a success story:
One of my friends met her DH in Cuba when she was on holidays on her second last day. They kept email contact and after 2 months of that she decided to drop it all and move over there with him (was easier than getting him to europe because of the visa). She lived there with him for a few months, then got married and brought him back home. They have been hapoily married for 5 years now and just had their first baby.
There was a lot of backlash from everyone around them and it wasnt easy for them at all. But they made it!

Edited by MissMilla, 11 July 2019 - 06:08 PM.


#17 IamtheMumma

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:09 PM

It has con job written all over it. I think your friend is about to lose all of her money as well as her heart :(

#18 Lunafreya

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:12 PM

Well, even if they ARE serious you have to wait one year and a day at least before being able to marry legally. This is to stop marrying in haste.

From what I recall the government also asks questions about spouse visas of friends and family.

Edited by Lunafreya, 11 July 2019 - 06:13 PM.


#19 Chocolate Addict

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:15 PM

Considering the divorce rate is around 50%, I doubt if it would matter if they have known each other 3 months or 30 years.
If he is after a visa, I think he will be disappointed due to the red tape.

Other than that, none of your business.

#20 Baroness Bubbles

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:17 PM

View PostLunafreya, on 11 July 2019 - 06:12 PM, said:

Well, even if they ARE serious you have to wait one year and a day at least before being able to marry legally. This is to stop marrying in haste.

From what I recall the government also asks questions about spouse visas of friends and family.

Pretty sure its 1 month and a day

#21 Ozquoll

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:17 PM

Even if he has legitimately fallen in love with her, it’s still very unwise to marry someone you’ve known for such a short time. Let’s hope your friend doesn’t get too badly hurt when it all turns to sh*t.

#22 Datrys

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:32 PM

View PostBaroness Bubbles, on 11 July 2019 - 06:17 PM, said:

Pretty sure its 1 month and a day

A month.  At some point they dropped the fairly pointless extra day!

In practice of course a bit longer, since it'd be extremely rare that anyone would sign their notice of intent the day they met...

#23 born.a.girl

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:34 PM

View PostMissMilla, on 11 July 2019 - 06:01 PM, said:



Edited to add a success story:
One of my friends met her DH in Cuba when she was on holidays on her second last day. They kept email contact and after 2 months of that she decided to drop it all and move over there with him (was easier than getting him to europe because of the visa). She lived there with him for a few months, then got married and brought him back home. They have been hapoily married for 5 years now and just had their first baby.
There was a lot of backlash from everyone around them and it wasnt easy for them at all. But they made it!


Met so many lovely Cubans on our recent trip I find that easy to understand.

Curious as to where 'back home' is though, because the US government has special visas for those from Cuba (poor bastards have to put up with socialism from their perspective) which pretty much mean if you can get there, you can stay there.

#24 Wolf87

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:35 PM

View PostBaroness Bubbles, on 11 July 2019 - 06:17 PM, said:



Pretty sure its 1 month and a day

Yep

#25 MissMilla

Posted 11 July 2019 - 06:37 PM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 11 July 2019 - 06:34 PM, said:




Met so many lovely Cubans on our recent trip I find that easy to understand.

Curious as to where 'back home' is though, because the US government has special visas for those from Cuba (poor bastards have to put up with socialism from their perspective) which pretty much mean if you can get there, you can stay there.

Austria.




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