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Holidays and kids behaviour


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#1 elly35

Posted 09 July 2019 - 06:52 PM

My kids- now 5 and 7 always end up being more difficult behaved with tantrums etc especially the longer we get into holidays. I think it is less sleep and being around other people constantly (holidaying with other people). Are your kids like this? Anything that helps?

#2 Navy Blue

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:03 PM

Yep, mine are extra feral on holidays!

Things that have helped are: keeping them busy (mine are super active and never seem to tire). Staying somewhere that has a kids space or near a playground is ideal.

Also having some sort of plans/structure for each day, and relaying that to the kids so they know what to expect.

#3 JRA

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:03 PM

I know this is about younger kids.

DS is not the sort of person that would 2 weeks away with people by choice, and certainly was that when he was 5-8 (neither would we).


And DS is now 16 and has not changed.

Being with people all the time is incredibly tiring for some people, and some of use would not do it because it is not enjoyable.

So if your children are like that, I can understand them getting grumbly if they have lots of people in their face all the time.

If it is just immediate family it is easy to move away and do your own thing.

#4 magic_marker

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:11 PM

Following for ideas.
The earlier wake ups are killing me.
My kids are younger, but only slightly.
Plus l'm recovering from surgery and no lifting and meant to be taking it easy.
Send alcohol.
Joking.




A little.

#5 ERipley

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:26 PM

Oh I thought it was just mine! This is a relief.

#6 Future-self

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:27 PM

Mine are 4 and almost 7.
Away on holidays We stick to their normal routine as much as we can especially not pushing bedtime out too much and only eating out on alternating nights for example. When we holiday with immediate family they know now that’s what’s going to happen so don’t expect otherwise. Their baths still always happen, they still get a story, they still get routines in the morning of normal breakfast foods, and not all treats etc etc

The times that we go away with friends it’s only ever for a couple of nights so it doesn’t impact as much as it is definitely more intense with a gaggle of kids and we let more things slide because we want to socialise and have fun too! Again we concentrate on having some structure around meals and sitting to eat; planning what to do in a advance so they know, mixing it up with full on activities out in the morning with quieter times and games in the afternoon.

Edited by Future-self, 09 July 2019 - 07:28 PM.


#7 JoanJett

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:28 PM

I'm a big believer in routine for kids - with one with ADHD, it's essential for us.  We still have a routine for holidays, even if we're away.  It's not like it's fixed to exact times, there is flexibility, but I have the kind of kids who function best when they know the rhythm of the day.

One of the most essential parts of our routine has always been quiet time after lunch.  Whether it's reading, staring out the window, listening to music, drawing, or even some screen time (like nature documentaries, shows that aren't too fast-paced).  We do it pretty much every weekend and as much as possible on holidays - if an activity gets in the way, we do it at another time of the day, but it is a time for everyone to have some quiet and calm to restore their energy.

I find holidaying with other people exhausting myself.  If we do that, we usually ensure we have one meal a day just as a family and try to maintain our quiet time, even if it's just for 30 minutes of the day.

As my kids grow older, I notice more and more that they also actually miss the mental stimulation of school.  It's like they are overly energetic in all the wrong ways because their minds are not as busy, and these are kids who are reading, playing music, making up imaginative games, playing outside, physically active, building Lego, going to activities - it's just not as mentally exhausting as school.  So I try to teach them a new card game or have a large puzzle to do, or do crosswords or a coding challenge - just something that keeps their brain ticking over.

#8 BornToLove

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:40 PM

I agree with others, holidaying with other people isn’t always that great when you have kids. I know my DD needs her own space and time just to recharge which isn’t always respected when we are away with other people.

I really have to make it a point to ensure down time at least part of the day. Early afternoon seems to work well. We have a busy morning, lunch and then down time before meeting back up with the rest of the group before dinner. They can go off and do their own thing, we do ours and every one is happier.

#9 Jenflea

Posted 09 July 2019 - 07:49 PM

I wouldn't ever holiday with other people, that's my idea of hell frankly.
But we still stick to the same routine year round, it's just easier for all. And no one has to reset their body clock when school goes back, adult or child!

#10 mayahlb

Posted 09 July 2019 - 08:01 PM

Unstructured holidays here = feral hyper moody plot losing child.

Bedtime is still the same and not negotiable. Routine needs to be place.

Too much time with others is detrimental and I personal dislike holidaying with others as their expectations grate on me. (Actually I find holidaying with even DH stressful and anxiety inducing. Can do it by myself with kids but add him in and I want to brain him within a few days)

I even make my kids do “homework”/ revision during the holidays because it keeps us all sane. Screens are strictly limited and they are required to have outdoor physical activity at least for 1-3 hours a day. The less active mine are the worse their behaviour.

Also food. Do not discount how much food can impact behaviour. Mine don’t get too many treats and I make sure they eat at regular intervals. Mostly because the hangry 10yr old is not a nice person. And is prone to forgetting to eat if he’s focused on something.

#11 annodam

Posted 09 July 2019 - 08:14 PM

We holiday on our own mostly & sometimes with others (family) but my kids have always (since very young) been great on holidays away & at home.  
I’m convinced the 7yr gap between them has something to do with it.  They go out & meet other kids their age & off they go.

These holidays though, we are home as DD has some Yr 12 holiday classes & DS has been training for his first ever Tournament at the end of this month.
DD has caught up with friends, gone to school, the movies.  DS apart from his training sessions has just been chilling at home, we’re all getting up late & going to bed whenever.

I love the holidays!


EFS:

Edited by annodam, 09 July 2019 - 08:15 PM.


#12 elly35

Posted 09 July 2019 - 08:18 PM

Thank you all for your responses. Finding them interesting/useful

#13 JoanJett

Posted 09 July 2019 - 08:58 PM

View Postannodam, on 09 July 2019 - 08:14 PM, said:

We holiday on our own mostly & sometimes with others (family) but my kids have always (since very young) been great on holidays away & at home.  
I’m convinced the 7yr gap between them has something to do with it.  They go out & meet other kids their age & off they go.

These holidays though, we are home as DD has some Yr 12 holiday classes & DS has been training for his first ever Tournament at the end of this month.
DD has caught up with friends, gone to school, the movies.  DS apart from his training sessions has just been chilling at home, we’re all getting up late & going to bed whenever.

I love the holidays!


EFS:

Big age gaps can be really helpful.  I grew up in that dynamic.  Sometimes having kids in similar developmental phases can have an exponential effect on the negatives.....  Whereas, older kids entertain the younger, role model for them and are able to accommodate them.  It takes an enormous load off parents.  I have a brother who is 10 years younger than me and a sister 2 years older.  My mother often comments that she never experienced the "witching" hour with the youngest - because he had two older siblings to entertain him and/or two older siblings who could independently sort themselves out and help her with all the preparations for dinner.

#14 Moukmouk

Posted 09 July 2019 - 09:12 PM

View PostJoanJett, on 09 July 2019 - 07:28 PM, said:

I'm a big believer in routine for kids - with one with ADHD, it's essential for us.  We still have a routine for holidays, even if we're away.  It's not like it's fixed to exact times, there is flexibility, but I have the kind of kids who function best when they know the rhythm of the day.

One of the most essential parts of our routine has always been quiet time after lunch.  Whether it's reading, staring out the window, listening to music, drawing, or even some screen time (like nature documentaries, shows that aren't too fast-paced).  We do it pretty much every weekend and as much as possible on holidays - if an activity gets in the way, we do it at another time of the day, but it is a time for everyone to have some quiet and calm to restore their energy.

I find holidaying with other people exhausting myself.  If we do that, we usually ensure we have one meal a day just as a family and try to maintain our quiet time, even if it's just for 30 minutes of the day.

As my kids grow older, I notice more and more that they also actually miss the mental stimulation of school.  It's like they are overly energetic in all the wrong ways because their minds are not as busy, and these are kids who are reading, playing music, making up imaginative games, playing outside, physically active, building Lego, going to activities - it's just not as mentally exhausting as school.  So I try to teach them a new card game or have a large puzzle to do, or do crosswords or a coding challenge - just something that keeps their brain ticking over.
“Rest time” is an essential part of our weekend routine at home, and in the holidays on home days. After lunch everyone has a lie down, reads, maybe build some Lego. But it’s quite time where I can nap, and they get some down time. We keep the same basic routine in holidays. One of the things to remember is when the kids are at school they eat really regularly- missing snacks or just been dehydrated can lead to many a meltdown. Mine will now sleep in which makes a big difference in the holidays.

#15 Freddie'sMum

Posted 09 July 2019 - 09:22 PM

Our kids are older OP but today, for instance, we had a busy, running around type day, so tomorrow is a rest day.  For all of us.

I try and keep the basic routine (except the kids get to sleep in) but mealtimes and bedtimes basically the same.

#16 Prancer is coming

Posted 09 July 2019 - 09:23 PM

We are away at the moment and it can be tough going.  I am finding it enough of a challenge to have DH around constantly, let alone the kids who seem so loud.

We are doing ok.  We don’t have a lot of things from home  with us and kids are all sleeping in the same room, so hard to keep normal routines.  

Stuff that helps is movement.  Wear them out and they sleep better!  My lot have been getting around 20000 steps a day, though they seem to eat more!  Also acknowledging that they are out of whack, getting less sleep, eating more junk and out of routine.  I have one with ADHD and some anxiety and I have come to realise that when he needs to go home, he needs to go home.  Sometimes food or exercise will get a bit longer, but also sometimes you need to go even though you have not finished.  So even if holidaying with others, I have to put his needs first even though different from the group.  His reluctance to do something may mean he is worrying, so need to unpack that him with.  And downtime is important.

Also, give yourself a break.  I am pretty strict on screen time and bedtime when at home, and eating healthy.  But it is ok for these things to go out the window on holiday.  I find after a big day out, DS needs the downtime of tv, whereas he would never get it on a school night.  When they go bonkers I find it means they need attention or time spent with them, so we have been playing a lot of cards this week!

Edited by Prancer is coming, 10 July 2019 - 09:03 PM.


#17 ekbaby

Posted 09 July 2019 - 09:37 PM

Yes I think most kids are like this
What helps (if you are on holidays, like in another place - I’m assuming from your post - not just at home in school hols ?) is slowing things down
Less travel. If you had a big day out, make the next day one where you stay closer to the accommodation/home. Spend some time doing simple things kids like eg swimming, playground, games.
Sometimes the kids like this more than running around yo different “attractions”
Buy them a new book and let them have some time to read on their own (if they like reading)
Try to stick to normal bedtime
Try to have some simple/home cooked food, the kind of stuff they normally eat
Maybe take some time out for just your own family, eg if the rest of the people sleep in, go for a walk or to a park or something in the morning and catch up again after lunch. Or other options where the big group is split up into smaller groups so it’s less overwhelming eg 2 of the parents and 2 of the older kids go out and do something that the littlies cant do

#18 RuntotheRiver

Posted 15 July 2019 - 12:19 PM

We have a trampoline- best investment ever!

Even in winter, kids take old towels out, to dry it down and keep bouncing!!  12 YO and 9YO were on it together, with friends, on their own...there is something about bouncing that puts everyone in a good mood.

I try to keep similar bedtime - later on weekends.  Sleep can be your number one killer,  with behaviour.

New books worked great , I got one also, we had 'reading hour' in the afternoon, with a small bag of chips each - it was the best part of the day!!




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