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Do you take your older children to ultrasounds? (possible trigger MC)


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#1 JomoMum

Posted 26 June 2019 - 07:45 PM

We had our NT scan today and I asked DH to wait with DS outside until the sonographer had confirmed the baby was still there, heart was beating etc.

She said that in 18 years she had never had anyone do that. Not in a rude way, we were just chatting.

I had no reason to expect miscarriage, but couldn’t imagine being confronted with that with 5year old DS in the room.

Am I the only one??

Edited by JomoMum, 26 June 2019 - 07:46 PM.


#2 Crazy4

Posted 26 June 2019 - 07:47 PM

Never took my older children to my ultrasound for exactly that reason. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage so I think that fear stayed with me throughout all my pregnancies.

#3 rosie28

Posted 26 June 2019 - 07:50 PM

This pregnancy I had to take my older two to a scan I had at 10 weeks. I had them wait outside with a nurse until we’d seen a heartbeat. I did the same with my D/ pregnancy- had my DS wait outside.

#4 First@35

Posted 26 June 2019 - 07:57 PM

I've had a miscarriage and found out at ultrasound at 13 weeks.
No way would I want to have children in there if there was a chance of such terrible news.

#5 ERipley

Posted 26 June 2019 - 07:58 PM

Surely the sonographer would just ask the other parent to take the child out if there was a problem?

#6 rosie28

Posted 26 June 2019 - 08:27 PM

View PostERipley, on 26 June 2019 - 07:58 PM, said:

Surely the sonographer would just ask the other parent to take the child out if there was a problem?

I think that’s what would happen but I wanted to avoid the kids seeing me panic stricken while they searched for a heartbeat if they couldn’t find one.

#7 JomoMum

Posted 26 June 2019 - 08:31 PM

View PostERipley, on 26 June 2019 - 07:58 PM, said:

Surely the sonographer would just ask the other parent to take the child out if there was a problem?

Of course. I just found it strange that I may be the only one wanting to avoid that possibly horribly difficult and stressful moment and having my child be a part of it with me.

#8 Mooples

Posted 26 June 2019 - 08:47 PM

We had ds in our 6 week dating scan but he was only 18 months so had no idea what was happening and we hadn’t told anyone I was pregnant so didn’t really want to ask anyone. I was very anxious (previous mc) but I think if it was another loss I would have wanted a big cuddle from him anyway. By the 20 week scan (again he was with us) I didn’t even consider how we’d go if something was wrong. I’d avoid taking him and his brother to any scans if I were to have another pregnancy purely because I’d spend the whole time stressing they would be tearing the room apart.

#9 Kallie88

Posted 26 June 2019 - 08:52 PM

Older kids went to most of my ultrasounds, never really thought about worst case scenario and wanted dh with me. There were a couple where the kids were in daycare so it was just me and dh, really just depended on what we could sort out at the time

Eta: we had 3 under 3yo so there was definitely an understanding barrier anyway.

Edited by Kallie88, 26 June 2019 - 08:53 PM.


#10 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 26 June 2019 - 08:53 PM

It happened to me. Kids were probably 3 and 4 at the time. It was an 11 week scan and I had already had 2 scans with heartbeats so felt it was quite routine (and I’m no stranger to m/c as had 3 before my first son) I had just started reading a book to the boys in the waiting room when I was called in. I knew straight away there was a problem. My eldest knew why we were there and kept asking where the baby was as the Dr was trying to talk to be. DS2 kept asking me to read the book to him completely oblivious to what was going on. It was hideous. I still remember just trying to keep my sh*t together while I booked in the D & C for the next day and walk to the car with DS1 constantly asking where the baby was. He’s 15 now and still remembers it, can point out where the car was parked.
DH was at a job interview at the time so I couldn’t even call him.

#11 SeaPrincess

Posted 26 June 2019 - 08:58 PM

One of the places where I had scans didn’t allow children in the room.

#12 CallMeFeral

Posted 26 June 2019 - 09:07 PM

I brought kids in. I didn't really think about the miscarriage possibility.

#13 maryanneK

Posted 26 June 2019 - 09:09 PM

View PostMilly Molly Mandy, on 26 June 2019 - 08:53 PM, said:

It happened to me. Kids were probably 3 and 4 at the time. It was an 11 week scan and I had already had 2 scans with heartbeats so felt it was quite routine (and I’m no stranger to m/c as had 3 before my first son) I had just started reading a book to the boys in the waiting room when I was called in. I knew straight away there was a problem. My eldest knew why we were there and kept asking where the baby was as the Dr was trying to talk to be. DS2 kept asking me to read the book to him completely oblivious to what was going on. It was hideous. I still remember just trying to keep my sh*t together while I booked in the D & C for the next day and walk to the car with DS1 constantly asking where the baby was. He’s 15 now and still remembers it, can point out where the car was parked.
DH was at a job interview at the time so I couldn’t even call him.

Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your story, that's heartbreaking.

#14 Future-self

Posted 26 June 2019 - 09:09 PM

I purposely booked scans for days when DS would be at childcare. Late in the day so I’d zip after work; Dh would meet me and then we’d go home picking up DS on the way. At the 20 week morphology scan was when DD was found to be potentially very unwell in there and we spent the next hour with a fetal medicine specialist;, booking an  MrI, talking to the genetic  counsellor ... and having a big ugly cry in my case.. I cannot imagine having to have dealt with a 2 year old at the same time. But I always treated the 12 and 20 week ultrasounds as potentially serious medical appointments for both pregnancies- in my nature I guess, no miscarriages or bad experience prior to that, it’s just the way iI am.  

So yes, I am surprised like you OP that the sonographer thought it comment worthy as surely she’s seen enough bad outcomes to see it as a better way to do things.

#15 JomoMum

Posted 26 June 2019 - 09:36 PM

View PostMilly Molly Mandy, on 26 June 2019 - 08:53 PM, said:

It happened to me. Kids were probably 3 and 4 at the time. It was an 11 week scan and I had already had 2 scans with heartbeats so felt it was quite routine (and I’m no stranger to m/c as had 3 before my first son) I had just started reading a book to the boys in the waiting room when I was called in. I knew straight away there was a problem. My eldest knew why we were there and kept asking where the baby was as the Dr was trying to talk to be. DS2 kept asking me to read the book to him completely oblivious to what was going on. It was hideous. I still remember just trying to keep my sh*t together while I booked in the D & C for the next day and walk to the car with DS1 constantly asking where the baby was. He’s 15 now and still remembers it, can point out where the car was parked.
DH was at a job interview at the time so I couldn’t even call him.
Oh I am so sorry this happened to you. It sounds like
you were as strong for your kids as you could be.

#16 ipsee

Posted 26 June 2019 - 10:11 PM

I took DD to a scan on my own and regretted it. Nothing went wrong but she was freaked out by the dark and the strangers and wanted to  hold my hand then started pulling on my hair (fixing it for me), and I was stuck lying down uncomfortably and unable to stop her.

I never did it again.

#17 Hands Up

Posted 26 June 2019 - 10:25 PM

we took DS1 to the 19 week scan. Didn’t have anyone to leave him with. I timed the 12 week scan for a daycare day




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