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Feeling sorry for myself

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#1 tigers17

Posted 21 June 2019 - 06:25 PM

Had a miscarriage back in Jan. Found out I was pregnant again just before a big family trip middle on June. Planned to have a daring scan early this week.
Day before we were due to fly home had some light bleeding then on travel day had heavier bleeding and cramping that continued for a few days.
Tuesday had the scan that showed an empty scan that did not in with our dates size wise. Had a blood test Wed and a other one today that shows my hormone levels decreasing so not a viable pregnancy.
What really sucks is the constant nausea and period like cramps that accompany another round of bleeding(had a day of really light bleeding and a day off and then been bleeding for the last 2 days again.

I know this sounds petty but I'm so p*ssed off with the timing of this one. If my body had decided to misscarry the week before I could have enjoyed my holiday, cocktails by the pool etc. I feel like it's a double whammy like bam no baby for you and really sucky timing.

Now that I've gotten out my whinge serious question - at what point can I expect the nausea to back off a bit? And anyone have any insight between letting nature take it's course vs a D&C?

Thanks guys

#2 MissTR

Posted 21 June 2019 - 06:37 PM

You're definitely allowed to vent its a sucky situation,  I'm sorry flor your loss and I hope you're taking care of yourself.

Depends how many weeks you were i guess. I just had a mmc. When i should have been 8 weeks my hcg was at 41000 and the symptoms started lessening a bit,  all gone after a couple weeks. I asked for a d&c but miscarried at 10+2 naturally, it was horrific compared to my previous miscarriages around 6 week mark. Ended up with retained products and an infection,  had the d&c 3 weeks later to get the last bit out and on mega antibiotics and +ve pg test still 4 weeks after. This whole thing would definitely have gone a lot smoother if I'd had the d&c straight away.

#3 JoanJett

Posted 21 June 2019 - 06:44 PM

I am very sorry for your losses.  Having all the symptoms of pregnancy when you know you are no longer is a special kind of misery.

The choices depend on how pregnant you were, how long your symptoms continue and how you're feeling physically and emotionally.  The main complications of the natural miscarriage are retained products and possible infection.

For me, in the setting of routine USS showing non-viable pregnancy, I decided to have a D&C.  It wasn't "easier" in the end for me, as I needed the procedure repeated 3 times. But I felt more in control.  It took several weeks for all the pregnancy feelings/symptoms to resolve.

Talk to your doctor and hear all the options and choose what suits you best.  Treat yourself gently and whinge all you like.

#4 Mollyksy

Posted 21 June 2019 - 06:48 PM

I'm so sorry. You are entitled to vent.

I had 7 miscarriages before my DS and the ones I was further along for I had d&cs. I too had horrific nausea and post d&c it was gone (except for one where I had retained products and the nausea coming back was how a few weeks later I worked it out). I didnt want to miscarry naturally and I wanted to test the fetus which is how I learned they were genetically abnormal.

There are risks to D&CS including ashermans syndrome which I wasnt too aware of at the time but I still think for my emotional health I would choose the same again.

My other 4 miscarriages were natural but I wasnt as far along so it was a bad heavy period. I've got endo so it was business as usual!

All the best for your decision and your journey. Whatever you decide will be right for you.

#5 born.a.girl

Posted 21 June 2019 - 06:49 PM

It's not in the least bit petty.  That sounds doubly miserable with the timing.

#6 Mollyksy

Posted 21 June 2019 - 06:56 PM

And timing just adds to the stress and grief sometimes. One of mine was just before Easter one year. They could tell from the scan the fetus was failing (its heartbeat was getting slower each scan). I asked for a d&c so I could test the fetus as I had had several miscarriages by then and wanted to get in before Easter public holidays so I didn't miscarry naturally during the holidays. Nope said doctor. Fetus is still alive. Oh so there is hope then I ask. Nope says doctor again. Meanwhile horrendous morning sickness and waiting for my baby to finally die so I can have the op and both stop the vomiting and get some answers and you know grieve too. Luckily (or horendously) I stayed pregnant until a scan showed a lifeless fetus and the public holidays had passed and I could get my op.

OP vent away. Sometimes this TTC just freaking sucks.

#7 First@35

Posted 21 June 2019 - 08:14 PM

Sorry for your loss OP.
I can relate unfortunately.
I had a MC at 13 weeks a few months ago. The week before I MC I was also on a family holiday and terribly sick.  I didn't get to enjoy it at all.  My only positive was that I had a baby coming, so it made it some what bearable.  
A few days after we returned I went for a scan and we had lost the heartbeat.
I felt robbed.
hugs OP. It sucks.  I hope you have better luck next time.

#8 blueskies12

Posted 21 June 2019 - 08:19 PM

Big, big, big hugs OP. We are here, please keep talking if you feel like it XXX

#9 tigers17

Posted 21 June 2019 - 10:05 PM

Thanks for the support everyone. Feeling a bit better after a long hot shower and some therapeutic crying

#10 Little boys rock

Posted 21 June 2019 - 10:07 PM

I’m so sorry, that is so unfair!!!

#11 chicken_bits

Posted 22 June 2019 - 12:05 PM

So sorry OP. I can totally relate re: crappy timing. I had my second miscarriage in as many months on my 5 year wedding anniversary holiday. TMI: I miscarried the fetus in the toilets at Dreamworld.

I don't have any experience with D&C because I naturally miscarried both times.

#12 BeachesBaby

Posted 22 June 2019 - 04:48 PM

I’m so sorry tigers, I can relate a lot to this. I found out my baby had passed away at 9 weeks on March 28th. My d&c was scheduled for April 1, coincidentally my DH’s first day at a new job, so he couldn’t accompany me (and I told him it was okay - I also wouldn’t want to ask my boss for the day off on a first day). My birthday was April 4, and I got the call to say the baby had trisomy 16 literally as I was leaving my house to go to my birthday dinner, my first time leaving the house since the d&c 3 days earlier. The timing of absolutely everything was just so, so, so sh*t, which compounded the grief and pain and anger. I hope for you the process is physically not painful, and that emotionally you’re doing okay. You’ll be in my thoughts.

#13 livelifelovehappy

Posted 22 June 2019 - 06:52 PM

I can relate somewhat. I chose to have a tooth removed rather than root canal because I didn’t want anaesthetic to harm the foetus and it would have been several visits, only to miscarry that week, I now have a big gap in my mouth as a reminder of that one. I also suffer from hyperemesis every time. I’ve spent months bedridden with illness and had to resign from my job because of it only to then lose the pregnancy. This has actually happened to me twice! That extra: it was all for nothing feeling is a double whammy for sure on top of the loss.
I was actually on a holiday when my period was late last year and I thought I might be pregnant. I had no way to test, and past experience made me think: bugger it, even if I am it won’t work out anyway. This meant I had daily cocktails for the first week of my pregnancy with my now happy healthy baby daughter! Don’t do what I did and overcompensate the other way! 😂 I’m sorry for your losses, they really suck no matter the circumstances and it’s even worse when they spoil something tangential at the same time.
I’ve only ever had d and cs. I never ever miscarry naturally, my body just seems to carry on to the point where there’s an infection risk.

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