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Do high schools take friend requests ?


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37 replies to this topic

#1 RuntotheRiver

Posted 16 June 2019 - 10:38 AM

If going to an out of zone school?

What if you don’t agree with request, will the school make sure it is mutual or just honour request if asked ?

#2 José

Posted 16 June 2019 - 10:46 AM

what do you mean?
are you asking if you request for your child to be placed with another will they do that?


#3 amdirel

Posted 16 June 2019 - 10:51 AM

I'd say friend requests would be way way waaaay down their priority list for out of area applications.

#4 Meepy

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:04 AM

When organising Year 7 class lists high schools will often put a couple/few kids from the same primary school in the same class. Friend requests are not priority - they are trying to balance the classes (gender, different primary school, mixed ability etc.)

#5 littlepickle

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:12 AM

when my daughter transitioned to a new high school there were only 4 students from her primary school. None were allocated into the same class - mainly due to ‘streaming’ kids into suitable maths and science classes.
However I think you are asking what would happen if your child has been accepted to an out of boundary school and another student had requested access to the school solely based on friendship? I guess it would depend on the demand for places in the out of boundary school. I would imagine that it wouldn’t even be on the list of appropriate reasons for admission.
Good luck

#6 First@35

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:19 AM

Sounds like your child has a friend who is trying to enroll at the same school, even though that child is out of zone.  They are using their friendship as the basis for their request and you sound like you don't really want this child attending the same school as your child. Bad influence perhaps?

My guess would be that friendships won't be a valid reason for out of zone requests.  But I also doubt that you would get a say regardless.

#7 RuntotheRiver

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:35 AM

Everyone has been accepted.

Someone else is requesting to be with my son and I think it works for them,  but not for me.  

They know each other through sport. Other boy just realised they were going to same school. It's not far out of the zone.  

He has voiced strongly to his mum he wants to be with my son because he doesn't know anyone. I don't know them well, so its awkward, but I'd rather not for what I've experienced so far!

#8 newmumandexcited

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:36 AM

Not even close sadly.

#9 amdirel

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:36 AM

 RuntotheRiver, on 16 June 2019 - 11:35 AM, said:

Everyone has been accepted.

Someone else is requesting to be with my son and I think it works for them,  but not for me.  

They know each other through sport. Other boy just realised they were going to same school. It's not far out of the zone.  

He has voiced strongly to his mum he wants to be with my son because he doesn't know anyone. I don't know them well, so its awkward, but I'd rather not for what I've experienced so far!

So he's enrolled already? Or not? I'm confused.

#10 BECZ

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:38 AM

You could request that they're not together.  I find schools are more supportive of that than requesting to be with someone.

#11 BusbyWilkes

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:48 AM

At my kids school, they may look at putting the kids together for Form class, which is 10 minutes each day (and means they would be in the same sports faction/house). But they have 10 other subjects a week, all with different teachers and different kids in the class - even for year 7.

Unless there has been severe bullying from the other child to yours, I would just let it be. Often even kids who know each other from primary school are establishing new friendship groups within the first month - should be lots of options for him to choose other friendships.

#12 bluthbananas

Posted 16 June 2019 - 11:58 AM

My daughter went to an out of zone school in year seven. Only three others from her primary were going. In the enrollment interview my daughter was asked if she would like to be the same class as the other three from her primary. She said only one of them as the other two were too noisy in class. She ended up in class with just the student she requested.
We were told they do look at preferences but there are other considerations too. The requests are kept private so no need to worry about anyone getting upset over the requests.

#13 RuntotheRiver

Posted 16 June 2019 - 12:00 PM

Yes they are enrolled at the same high school for next year, which is why they requesting to be with my son.

#14 SeaPrincess

Posted 16 June 2019 - 12:42 PM

I wouldn’t sweat it too much. From what I’ve seen of high school, kids find their tribe once they get there, whether that be classmates, sports buddies or other extra-curricular activities, or kids they meet walking or riding to school from their area, including out of area if they’re close enough.

I don’t think our public high school bothers much with friend requests - we certainly weren’t asked for either of our children of that age. It’s more about subject choices and ability levels.

#15 WaitForMe

Posted 16 June 2019 - 12:50 PM

If your son is the only kid this boy knows, he will seek out your son for recess and lunch at first anyway, until he has made some friends. Then its anyone's guess. Maybe that will include your son, maybe it won't.

#16 born.a.girl

Posted 16 June 2019 - 12:52 PM

The zone is irrelevant, judging by your update, so I'm puzzled why it was even mentioned.


You can simply request they not be in the same class, which may or may not be able to be considered - schools have to take many things into account when considering classes.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, would be my advice.

#17 Hands Up

Posted 16 June 2019 - 01:01 PM

What has zone got to do with it? It’s first year high school, friendships change a lot in that first year, and they have classes with different kids. Can’t imagine the office wanting to get involved.

#18 nom_de_plume

Posted 16 June 2019 - 03:54 PM

I think it depends on the school. Ours streamed kids according to their literacy and numeracy ability. Friend requests were only relevant for things like who slept in the same cabin on camp.

#19 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 16 June 2019 - 04:04 PM

DS1 going from Junior to Senior (same school) we had some issues late year 6 which seemed to indicate grade 7 could be a disaster (school had contacted us as they were worried too). We provided some testing information to the school and requested that ONE of a list of 10 close friends be included in his class. He was very fortunate that one of his close 3 friends was in his class.

I do not expect similar for his brother who will be grade 7 next year from Junior school. No request will be made as there is no compelling reason. The school generally looks with disfavour upon such requests.

#20 Literary Lemur

Posted 16 June 2019 - 04:45 PM

Our high school at school tours specifically mentioned that they do not consider friend requests in part because two weeks in they have a new set of friends. I think half the fun of high school (for my kids anyway) was meeting new people.

#21 CallMeFeral

Posted 16 June 2019 - 06:22 PM

View PostBECZ, on 16 June 2019 - 11:38 AM, said:

You could request that they're not together.  I find schools are more supportive of that than requesting to be with someone.

I would do this. Just in case some person thinks they are doing a kind thing by honouring the request, and tries to do both boys the 'favour'. If you write in at least it might offset that effect.

#22 born.a.girl

Posted 16 June 2019 - 07:10 PM

View PostCallMeFeral, on 16 June 2019 - 06:22 PM, said:

I would do this. Just in case some person thinks they are doing a kind thing by honouring the request, and tries to do both boys the 'favour'. If you write in at least it might offset that effect.


That's a good point - explain that you understand there's been a 'friend request' that you don't support.

#23 barrington

Posted 16 June 2019 - 07:48 PM

View PostBECZ, on 16 June 2019 - 11:38 AM, said:

You could request that they're not together.  I find schools are more supportive of that than requesting to be with someone.
I would write that your DS is looking forward to new friendships at a new school and that you would prefer he is not placed in a class with anyone from his primary school, to enable those new friendships to flourish.

#24 Sincerely

Posted 16 June 2019 - 08:27 PM


They are going to high school - i would let the 'kids' work things out themselves.

Edited by Sincerely, 16 June 2019 - 09:40 PM.


#25 laridae

Posted 16 June 2019 - 08:40 PM

View Postbarrington, on 16 June 2019 - 07:48 PM, said:

I would write that your DS is looking forward to new friendships at a new school and that you would prefer he is not placed in a class with anyone from his primary school, to enable those new friendships to flourish.
Sounds like he doesn't go to the same primary school though.

I'd leave it be. I don't think it matters in high school.




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