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Baby Shower....Small High Tea.......Or Nothing?


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#1 150watson

Posted 07 June 2019 - 01:55 PM

Hi Everyone,

I feel as though there are so many mixed opinions on this. So I am not 100% sure what to do.

I am pregnant with bub #2, same again, another girl.

Unfortunately this will be our last child given my husband has been fighting cancer and is now sterile following Chemo and Radiation.

I feel as though having a second baby shower is greedy. Might just be me, I am not sure, everyone has personal preference. But I would like to celebrate somehow about the upcoming arrival of our little girl. Not saying I am expecting gifts, but a little girly get together is something I feel would be nice.

This pregnancy hasn't really had the attention the first one had. With my husband undergoing so many dramas with his Cancer diagnosis, treatment, surgery and another 6mths of chemo coming up. I have been full on with our 18mth old, working full-time, taking care of hubby too. All the while trying to even remember that I am pregnant.

Does anyone have any suggestions of what I could do as a little get together with friends to celebrate my new bub, without them thinking I want a bunch of gifts?

#2 elly35

Posted 07 June 2019 - 01:59 PM

I would just put on the invite that you would like to get together to celebrate the baby but please no gifts as we have what we need already. And definitely don't call it a shower. Or dinner out with closest girlfriends. Everyone pays for themselves but no gifts

#3 Future-self

Posted 07 June 2019 - 02:01 PM

My close girlfriends and I  have got together for every baby that was coming - gender or order of birth  played no part. Every baby deserved to be celebrated  :)
second and third babies it has been a lunch out usually - and we all chipped in for a voucher for a gift. Non baby gifts for second and third babies - all for the pregnant woman! spa voucher, cleaning service voucher and food vouchers were the go-to.

Definitely Organise a pre-baby get together and let your friends do what they like for a present. Sounds like you deserve some time out and a celebration!

#4 Fourteenyears

Posted 07 June 2019 - 02:02 PM

A baby and an eighteen month old will have you both busy, busy, busy.  I think it is a lovely idea to have a bit of a catch up with your friends before you are dunked into the whole newborn thing again!

A high tea or afternoon tea somewhere nice is a good idea.  Or even a picnic in a park, or a girls catchup for dinner.  You could make it more about the company than about the baby, if that makes sense?   Keep it fairly casual and inexpensive but not at home where it will just create more work for you!

Just tell them it’s a pre-baby catch up and not a baby shower so that they know not to bring presents.  Although some will want to anyway because shopping for babies is fun.

#5 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 07 June 2019 - 02:33 PM

“I’d like to catch up with my friends before the baby is due” is very different to a baby shower. I hope you can organise something lovely with all the stuff you’ve got going on.

#6 seayork2002

Posted 07 June 2019 - 02:39 PM

View Post22Fruitmincepies, on 07 June 2019 - 02:33 PM, said:

“I’d like to catch up with my friends before the baby is due” is very different to a baby shower. I hope you can organise something lovely with all the stuff you’ve got going on.

This, if you want a catch up then there does not need to be any specific invitations just email/text/ring/message etc.how you would normally have catch ups

#7 **Xena**

Posted 07 June 2019 - 02:43 PM

My friends wanted to throw me a baby shower with my 4th but I wasn't keen so I requested a post baby lunch. We all went out to lunch about 6 weeks after baby was born and I got to drink champagne and have a few hours to myself with my girlfriends. It was just lovely!

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP and I hope your DH makes a full recovery :hugs:

Edited by **Xena**, 07 June 2019 - 02:44 PM.


#8 Karlee99

Posted 07 June 2019 - 02:55 PM

Honestly do what you want, your friends are going to want to celebrate (who doesn't love a girly get together) and like stated above...babies are fun to buy for!!! Especially when you are old like me and way past the baby days.

I would go for the high tea and enjoy the company/celebration. If you prefer no gifts then just state that while you are celebrating the impending arrival of bub you don't wish for gifts, but I am sure people will bring them anyway (I know I would).

PS Congratulations and hope all goes well for all of you

#9 Sweet.Pea

Posted 07 June 2019 - 03:47 PM

Why don't you just organize it without an invitation or anything like that.

Hi Girls, I'm organizing a get together so we can catch up before the baby arrive. Thinking about a high tea at location, cost is $xx, what do you all think? It's a catch up, not a baby shower:)

#10 jgirl7

Posted 07 June 2019 - 03:56 PM

View PostFuture-self, on 07 June 2019 - 02:01 PM, said:

My close girlfriends and I  have got together for every baby that was coming - gender or order of birth  played no part. Every baby deserved to be celebrated  :)
second and third babies it has been a lunch out usually - and we all chipped in for a voucher for a gift. Non baby gifts for second and third babies - all for the pregnant woman! spa voucher, cleaning service voucher and food vouchers were the go-to.

Definitely Organise a pre-baby get together and let your friends do what they like for a present. Sounds like you deserve some time out and a celebration!

I really love this idea of a voucher for yourself, I'm sure one of your close friends would be delighted to organise it. Wow if anyone deserves some time out and a happy celebration of your impending arrival, you do! A high tea is always lovely, something for everyone. Very best wishes for your husband's further treatment.

#11 Babetty

Posted 07 June 2019 - 04:00 PM

Agree with phrasing it as getting together with friends / catching up before the baby arrives - and as for what to do, choose what you and your friends would enjoy, whether that's high tea, lunch, nice dinner out or whatever.

#12 suzyr

Posted 07 June 2019 - 04:14 PM

I have never liked the idea of a baby shower....I call it "counting your chickens before they are hatched". I have a 15 year old daughter after 2 miscarriages so was very careful in jinxing myself too much.  A baby shower would have done my head in....to me nothing was certain until my baby girl was in my arms crying...meaning she was alive and here!!!

#13 BelleJay

Posted 07 June 2019 - 04:36 PM

View Post22Fruitmincepies, on 07 June 2019 - 02:33 PM, said:

“I’d like to catch up with my friends before the baby is due” is very different to a baby shower. I hope you can organise something lovely with all the stuff you’ve got going on.

This :)

#14 Inkogneatoh

Posted 07 June 2019 - 04:52 PM

View Post150watson, on 07 June 2019 - 01:55 PM, said:

Hi Everyone,

I feel as though there are so many mixed opinions on this. So I am not 100% sure what to do.

I am pregnant with bub #2, same again, another girl.

Unfortunately this will be our last child given my husband has been fighting cancer and is now sterile following Chemo and Radiation.

I feel as though having a second baby shower is greedy. Might just be me, I am not sure, everyone has personal preference. But I would like to celebrate somehow about the upcoming arrival of our little girl. Not saying I am expecting gifts, but a little girly get together is something I feel would be nice.

This pregnancy hasn't really had the attention the first one had. With my husband undergoing so many dramas with his Cancer diagnosis, treatment, surgery and another 6mths of chemo coming up. I have been full on with our 18mth old, working full-time, taking care of hubby too. All the while trying to even remember that I am pregnant.

Does anyone have any suggestions of what I could do as a little get together with friends to celebrate my new bub, without them thinking I want a bunch of gifts?

In your situation, I would emphasis the baby aspect. The wanting to do something that does focus on the pregnancy and baby, as so much of your time and energy has been spent on other serious and important things.

You can still state you don't want presents, just the company of close friends to help keep your focus dedicated, at least for a couple of hours, to celebrating the impending arrival, not everything else that has been demanding your attention. Do something indulgent. A high tea, a fancy lunch, some pampering of some sort. Something you enjoy, but would currently feel slightly guilty about taking time out to do for yourself, on a "normal" day.

#15 BeachesBaby

Posted 07 June 2019 - 10:15 PM

View Postsuzyr, on 07 June 2019 - 04:14 PM, said:

I have never liked the idea of a baby shower....I call it "counting your chickens before they are hatched". I have a 15 year old daughter after 2 miscarriages so was very careful in jinxing myself too much.  A baby shower would have done my head in....to me nothing was certain until my baby girl was in my arms crying...meaning she was alive and here!!!

I understand that you're speaking for yourself, but I did want to point out that it does come across a bit judgey of people who have baby showers and then have a loss, as if they could have somehow caused or jinxed their own baby or pregnancy by celebrating before their baby was born. Nothing anyone can do will jinx their baby/pregnancy, and as someone who has suffered a pregnancy loss, no I won't ever feel safe until I have a live baby in my arms, but I'll be damned if my loss keeps me from celebrating my next pregnancy. It's taken so much from me that I won't let it take that too.

Whether you celebrate it, don't acknowledge it, hire out a billboard to announce it, or completely ignore it and tell nobody, it doesn't have any bearing on the success of that pregnancy, and a loss would still be devastating no matter how celebrated, or quiet a person kept the news.

#16 gracie1978

Posted 08 June 2019 - 06:03 AM

It sounds like you want a little celebration.  Given what you have going on I think it's a wonderful idea.
I'm sure your girlfriends would enjoy a pre baby catch up.

Hope your hubby is ok

Xx

#17 #YKG

Posted 08 June 2019 - 07:37 PM

Congrats on the pregnancy.

I would probably frame it as a “girls afternoon out” so invite saying you want to get together & celebrate baby #2 gets here with closest friends for high tea. I’d probably put “no gifts if you like you can donate to xyz charity instead” that way no expectation of gifts and people can donate as much or little as they like & don’t feel obliged to give a gift/donate if they aren’t able to.

Given you’re going through a lot lately it would be a good chance for you to relax and get some friend time.

#18 Tinky Winky Woo

Posted 08 June 2019 - 09:10 PM

I wouldn't have a big thing but then I am not into baby shower things.  

If you want something why not just ask people to come over for cake and coffee - don't even mention anything baby related.




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