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I probably shouldn’t accept this invitation, should I?

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#1 livelifelovehappy

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:24 PM

I’ve joined mothers group for the first time (3rd baby). I moved to the area 5 years ago and have been at home with the kids so I thought it would be a good way to meet some new people who live locally. Everyone is really nice, but there’s only one other one my age, and she seems lovely and I think we clicked though we’ve only met twice.
She texted me to ask if my husband and I would like to come
Over for dinner and friended me on Facebook. Great I thought but have just had a look at her page and she is right into a MLM (won’t name it) to the point where most posts are about this and there’s pictures of her at their events and it’s listed as her job.
So... she probably doesn’t want to just be friends, right? Sigh.

#2 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:27 PM

Maybe she does just want to be friends...

Why don’t you go and see? You and DH could come up with an out signal if it goes bad but you could just end up with a nice friendship.

Personally I wouldn’t be writing her off just yet.

#3 livelifelovehappy

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:31 PM

I should just add I’ve been caught like this before so am a bit wary. A party at a school Mums house that turned out to be Doterra. Years ago a really good looking guy asked if I want to do something with him on a Sunday, which turned out to be go to Hillsong. Both of those felt like bait and switch! So I’m maybe overly paranoid.

#4 livelifelovehappy

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:32 PM

And date nights are so so rare for us, to have it be that would be so disappointing.

#5 SkeptiHandsOnMum

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:33 PM

Oooh. That's a bit concerning. I mean, I guess it could be genuine. Sadly, for me, the MLM stuff discounts my desire to discover that.

#6 Sweet.Pea

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:35 PM

Mums group is Mums group and not for business. I give people the benefit of the doubt until they try to rope me in.

#7 teaspoon

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:38 PM

Posted Image

#8 livelifelovehappy

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:38 PM


#9 nom_de_plume

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:42 PM

I’d try to call their bluff. I’d say something like ‘Sure, we’d love to catch up. We’ve been wanting to try this great new restaurant the next suburb over ...’ and/or ‘How about we organise a night out for all the parents and partners?’ Then you’ll know what their true motive is.

#10 Silverstreak

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:50 PM

Ooh, yes I'd be wary.

I remember being super chuffed when I moved to a suburb and the next door neighbour invited me over for coffee and a hang out, only to admit that it was for some clothing marketing scheme. I was not impressed and didn't bother going.

#11 just roses

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:51 PM

If it were me, I’d accept but go knowing it is most likely an MLM pitch and be pleasantly surprised if I discovered otherwise. But I have my parents here so babysitting is never an issue for me. If it is for you - and you’d have to pay a babysitter - then I’d decline on that basis and suggest a park catchup during the day instead. You’ll soon know if she’s genuine about friendship.

#12 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 29 May 2019 - 06:53 PM

i probably wouldn’t go...

#13 seayork2002

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:04 PM

View Post~J_WTF~, on 29 May 2019 - 06:27 PM, said:

Maybe she does just want to be friends...

Why don’t you go and see? You and DH could come up with an out signal if it goes bad but you could just end up with a nice friendship.

Personally I wouldn’t be writing her off just yet.

This, like any invitation I would accept go and see what happens. She may not even bring it up but you can say no to buying or having anything to with it

#14 lizzzard

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:07 PM

I would give her a chance and just be really honest - say ‘we would love to come over, but I need to let you know DH and I have a policy of never mixing friends and finances - so we don’t participate as a buyer or seller in mlm schemes for example. Is that cool?’ She might ignore you and then I’d just never go again.

#15 IamtheMumma

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:11 PM

I'd text back and see if she wants to meet up somewhere other than her house or maybe have a firm agreement between you and your husband that if she starts MLM talk, you'll leave immediately.

MLM ruins everything doesn't it!  I was a socially awkward teen and got invited to a dinner at a family friend's house. I was horrified to discover it was an Amway hard sell.

#16 harryhoo

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:14 PM

Depends what the MLM is. Of it's something targeted at females then i imagine she would have just invited you if it was a business 'opportunity'. Hopefully she really just wants to get to know you and DH.

#17 seayork2002

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:15 PM

View Postlizzzard, on 29 May 2019 - 07:07 PM, said:

I would give her a chance and just be really honest - say ‘we would love to come over, but I need to let you know DH and I have a policy of never mixing friends and finances - so we don’t participate as a buyer or seller in mlm schemes for example. Is that cool?’ She might ignore you and then I’d just never go again.

If she has not brought the subject up herself why would this need to be said?

#18 Coffeegirl

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:25 PM

Oh.  We had friends that got stung like this.  

In our 20’s we had a group of 4-5 couples that all hung out in a group.     One couple liked to have dinner parties but their apartment was a bit small, really only room for 4 people at a time.  

One weekend another couple in the group was invited for dinner.  Everything went well until dessert.   The host husband said he just needed to pop next door for something.  

Next thing a guy with a whiteboard comes in and starts spruiking Amway!    

Our friends were so angry they just got up and walked out.  

The Amway couple ruined their friendship with all of us with that stunt.      Years later the wife and I reconnected and she apologised but had been told it was a great way to make sales at the time!

#19 Oriental lily

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:34 PM

I would probably do more smaller catch ups first . Coffee ect . MLM possessed people cant keep their mouths shut about it. Eventually it will enter the conversation , shut it down then . Say something you have no interest in . If she keeps the promoting then no more catch ups ( dinner invite might not come again anyway !)

In saying that their are some MLM people who seem to keep the obsession all online and don’t say peep about it in the ‘real world’.

Hopefully she is one of those .

#20 TheGreenSheep

Posted 29 May 2019 - 07:38 PM

Yeah look I think it depends where you personally stand on things. If her FB was all Scientology and sharing the cause, of course I’d run a mile. MLM I’d run a mile. It really depends on where you are, and if faced with it, as in cornered on the night, well I’d be pretty unimpressed. There’s a mum on my FB who shares the love and power of her MLM thing, I give her a big wide berth, it’s too fruity for me.

#21 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 29 May 2019 - 08:26 PM

Go, and if it is MLM, get out of there and go out for dinner or a drink to make the most of having a babysitter. I would casually let it be known that you don’t buy from MLM beforehand though.

#22 Goldenash

Posted 29 May 2019 - 08:53 PM

I think you should go. You’ve come this far. Just cos she may be into mlm doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist without it. I agree you should anticipate the subject may come up but if it doesn’t interest you say no or be vague and then follow up with a text how you loved catching up but (amway, candles, etc) are not your thing.

#23 Abernathy

Posted 29 May 2019 - 09:14 PM

I would spend some more casual time with her and kids before doing dinner with partners. As easy as it sounds,  when in comes to the crunch it is so hard to shut these things down and just walk out in the middle of dinner if they start the hard sell. I would want to be pretty sure it wasn’t going down that path.

#24 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 29 May 2019 - 09:34 PM

Chances are, she will try to hit you up to join at some point, at least to try some of the products etc. But if you decline, she might simply put it aside and still want to be friends. I know a few wonderful people who do MLM and once I made it clear that I wasn't interested in being involved in their MLM (buying the products or otherwise), the friendship grew as per usual.

However, I would probably continue with a few mum-and-bub catch-ups first before involving partners and having family dinners together.

#25 livelifelovehappy

Posted 29 May 2019 - 09:41 PM

Yes, I think I’ll invite her to a yoga class I’m thinking of going to. That will allow a more organic development. My husband and I are both terrible with confrontation and would probably end up buying stuff and then hiding from them. That’s my usual pattern with awkward stuff!

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