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Women are happiest without children or spouse


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#1 can'tstayaway

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:30 PM

From the guardian
https://www.theguard...appiness-expert

Quote

Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: ****ing miserable,” he said.

I love my family but boy, do I feel life would be easier on my own some days.

#2 cinnabubble

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:33 PM

Quote

Women are happiest without children or spouse

Can confirm.

Source: have children and spouse.

#3 Freddie'sMum

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:38 PM

I gotta say it's the children that have pushed me over the edge - DH and I didn't realise how damn easy we had it as a couple - until we had the kids.

Kids make everything 15 billion times harder.  Everything.

#4 Daffy2016

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:40 PM

I was actually pretty happy with just DH. And while kids give some fantastic highs the lows and the everyday grind suck.

I have a friend at work who is a bit older, single, own house, lovely circle of friends, great job. She tells me about her life and I just want to sob with jealousy.

#5 ~J_WTF~

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:42 PM

It’s kids for me. They make sh*t hard. A kid with special needs makes sh*t even harder!

If it was me and DH, life would be sweet. I deeply miss him when he isn’t around and love being near him!

#6 **Xena**

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:52 PM

Having my kids and husband around me make me happiest. I'm already dreading my kids leaving home. I think though we have had very easy kids so that helps a lot and my husband does just as much (if not more) around the house. If everything fell on me and if we were dealing with extra needs then I imagine my answer might be different.

That being said I'm friends with a lot of childless by choice friends and they are all very happy too :D

#7 robhat

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:57 PM

Kid's are hard
Marriage is hard

Hard doesn't automatically mean you're unhappy though. Boredom is what makes me most unhappy and loneliness. I think my life would suck without my husband and kids.

#8 .Jerry.

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:02 PM

I think not having a spouse and kids opens up a whole new world of things you can do and how you can live your life.
Most people "settle down" when they have a spouse and kids.   Perhaps the secret is to never "settle down" into life's drudgery.

I would be quite happy without a spouse and child I think. :)

#9 seayork2002

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:11 PM

I am different than before marriage and a child.

I am stopping at one child as cant envisage having any more

I can't imagine continually having children if I am not happy/coping with the first but this is just me!

#10 Kreme

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:25 PM

My husband and kids are the greatest source of happiness in my life.  I had an enjoyable life when I was single but it’s much, much happier and more fulfilled now.

Of course there are some aspects of daily life that are tiring but overall life would feel very pointless without my family.

#11 BadCat

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:25 PM

Of course.

Imagine if the tables were turned and the blokes did the lion's share of parenting, and housework, and appeasing their partner, and taking a back seat to their wife's career - the wife would be a whole sh*tload happier.

But that doesn't happen for most women.  And yet we continue to take up the poisoned chalice.  

Never. Again.

#singleforlife

#12 littleboysmum

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:30 PM

Having kids and being married is a lot of hard work at times but I would be absolutely lost without my husband and kids. They are what make me the happiest in the whole world. My husband is my absolute best friend. He supports me and believes in me like nobody else and he has gotten me through some very very rough times.

Like a PP I will also dread my kids moving out 😂. I adore being a mum. The days can be long but the years are definitely short. My kids can all be hard work at times but they are my everything and I couldn’t imagine being happy without any of them.

#13 Mooples

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:30 PM

I would be incredibly lonely living on my own and being lonely makes me sad. If I were to be single I would have to live with others to remain happy.

I love my husband very much and he makes me happy but my children bring me the greatest joy in life. They are only little so of course I might not always feel that way but having had them, I now couldn’t imagine being happy without them but of course if I didn’t know what having them was like I’m sure I could be happy with that too. Don’t know if that all makes sense.

#14 Kaz83

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:32 PM

My sister is single and childless. I would  choose my life (married, 3 kids) any day of the week.

#15 Oriental lily

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:33 PM

It's so subjective that I dont really see the point of discussing it .l have a great husband who is a wonderful father who equally parents easy kids . My experience means nothing to the next woman who is asked the question . So are woman unhappier with spouse and kids or are they are unhappy with their PARTICULAR spouse and kids ?

#16 MissMilla

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:34 PM

View PostKreme, on 26 May 2019 - 04:25 PM, said:

My husband and kids are the greatest source of happiness in my life.  I had an enjoyable life when I was single but it’s much, much happier and more fulfilled now.

Of course there are some aspects of daily life that are tiring but overall life would feel very pointless without my family.

This!

#17 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:46 PM

Id be bored, lonely, and sad if it wasn't for my husband and kids. I am not the sort of person who would get out there and do stuff, id just sit at home and eat.

But my life is also good because we are financially secure, and my husband and I get along fine, two things that can very easily go wrong and cause a lot of unhappiness.

#18 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:55 PM

dh and i were very happy pre kids - kids make everything harder. i would probably be happy without him though ...i do like my time alone.


#19 Pooks Combusted

Posted 26 May 2019 - 04:59 PM

I would have been fantastically happy as a dad.

#20 Kreme

Posted 26 May 2019 - 05:03 PM

View PostLucrezia Borgia, on 26 May 2019 - 04:55 PM, said:

dh and i were very happy pre kids - kids make everything harder. i would probably be happy without him though ...i do like my time alone.

I love my alone time now because it’s a break from the rest of my life which is full of people. When I was single a Saturday night home alone made me feel like Nigel no mates. These days if DH goes out on a Saturday night I’m rubbing my hands together, opening the wine and planning my Netflix viewing!

#21 Kucingcantik

Posted 26 May 2019 - 05:04 PM

I think it depends on so many factors.

A woman, childless by choice is probably going to be happier on objective scorecards than a married woman with kids.

A woman who is childless not by choice may feel a deep grief and sadness that may mean objectively she is less happy than a married woman with kids.

I think I am happier in a number of ways than pre-kids. I also think that I am more stressed and less happy in a number of ways. Does it even out? Probably.

I felt a deep longing to have children, like something was missing from my life. But I also had more variety, events, sporting commitments, friends and freedom to pursue work I wanted to than I do now.

I would never have been happy if I had not had kids. But I probably wouldn't describe myself as 'happy' now either.

#22 luke's mummu

Posted 26 May 2019 - 05:04 PM

I have 2 single friends the same age as me - late 40’s. They both work full time but still struggle to pay off a mortgage on a unit in Sydney and afford holidays etc. I am so blessed to have a husband in comparison- the double income for a similar property is so much easier.

I know money doesn’t equal happiness,but getting older and being poor with minimal family support is hard

Edited by luke's mummu, 26 May 2019 - 06:25 PM.


#23 (feral)epg

Posted 26 May 2019 - 05:08 PM

Did they ask how many pets these single childless women have?

I was happy pre this life.  I'm happy now.

#24 steppy

Posted 26 May 2019 - 05:10 PM

I think it depends on the partner and the kids.

#25 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 26 May 2019 - 05:13 PM

I feel much happier being married and with kids - although my social life was much, much more active before kids and I think this could be a huge factor in why they got those results.

I assume they surveyed older women whose kids have moved out of home but I would like to know whether the results were so pronounced in the older age group where the stresses of kids are less.

Theres also not much info about whether they included women with long term partners who weren't married or women who were divorced.

I think its also worth noting some social conditions are different in the UK and US so we wouldnt necessarily get the same result here. I know in the UK at least, theres less support in terrms of childcare for women to return to work so this is probably a major factor.




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