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#26 JBH

Posted 24 May 2019 - 09:05 AM

This really resonated with me. I’ve been there.

I was so confident that mothers’ group would be the answer, but I made no lasting connections there, then I was devastated to find out you don’t get a mothers’ group with your second, because I had this image of what a close group of bonded women raising children together should look like. Then no joy when my eldest started school. I was convinced I must just be unlikeable.

A few years ago my youngest started school, and a small group of families struck up a casual acquaintance, which grew into a friendship, and I finally have my tribe. We catch up most weekends, whether for a meal or a catch up in the park, and help each other out with pick ups. We’ve even been away on holidays together. My life is enriched by this group of people, who have given me confidence that (some!) people enjoy my company.

It’s lonely where you are OP, but don’t give up. It isn’t too late.

#27 Underthemoon

Posted 26 May 2019 - 01:45 PM

View PostJBH, on 24 May 2019 - 09:05 AM, said:

This really resonated with me. I’ve been there.

I was so confident that mothers’ group would be the answer, but I made no lasting connections there, then I was devastated to find out you don’t get a mothers’ group with your second, because I had this image of what a close group of bonded women raising children together should look like. Then no joy when my eldest started school. I was convinced I must just be unlikeable.

A few years ago my youngest started school, and a small group of families struck up a casual acquaintance, which grew into a friendship, and I finally have my tribe. We catch up most weekends, whether for a meal or a catch up in the park, and help each other out with pick ups. We’ve even been away on holidays together. My life is enriched by this group of people, who have given me confidence that (some!) people enjoy my company.

It’s lonely where you are OP, but don’t give up. It isn’t too late.

Oh thats exactly what I hope for! I'm glad you found your 'tribe'. Love that!

#28 Babetty

Posted 26 May 2019 - 02:29 PM

View PostUnderthemoon, on 23 May 2019 - 10:19 PM, said:

Thanks guys you make me feel so much better :)

We all take turns in hosting a mother's group catch up plus we change it up and go for coffees and the play centre. My hubby has also suggested meeting up with just one or two rather than the group but it's sort of an awkward situation since we only catch up as one big group. I feel like there might be jealousy or someone taking offence if they weren't included. Silly I know :( people have told me that you eventually pair off with mums you are close to but no signs of that happening anytime soon. Not that I'm complaining because they are all really wonderful and supportive. But it would be nice to form that connection with the ones I really get on with rather than a group setting all the time.

But thanks for the suggestions, I will look up some playgroups.

I understand not wanting to "exclude" others but you could do a general invite to things eg "I'd love to see X movie one evening, kids are home with DH, would anyone like to join me?"or "I'm going to X shopping centre tomorrow as I've got some running round to do, anyone want to come for the company or catch-up for coffee?" so it's not explicitly arranging a group get together, but you're not excluding anyone either. This might help give you some smaller get-togethers where you can deepen the friendship with some - and help identify the ones with time / energy / inclination for more than a weekly catch up.

#29 MarciaB

Posted 26 May 2019 - 02:55 PM

View PostBabetty, on 26 May 2019 - 02:29 PM, said:



I understand not wanting to "exclude" others but you could do a general invite to things eg "I'd love to see X movie one evening, kids are home with DH, would anyone like to join me?"or "I'm going to X shopping centre tomorrow as I've got some running round to do, anyone want to come for the company or catch-up for coffee?" so it's not explicitly arranging a group get together, but you're not excluding anyone either. This might help give you some smaller get-togethers where you can deepen the friendship with some - and help identify the ones with time / energy / inclination for more than a weekly catch up.

Yes I was going to suggest the same :). Try asking the group if anyone would like to go with you to see a movie/ check out a new restaurant or shopping centre etc.  you might be able to connect that way. Otherwise, keep looking for opportunities to meet new people, school is great for that.  It all takes time  - big hugs

#30 Elizabethandfriend

Posted 26 May 2019 - 03:33 PM

One of the reasons I'm heading back into the workforce is that I've realised how much harder it is to make friends as you get older.  I had good friends when I worked, had good friends through kindergarten years, had good friends in my DD's prep cohort but since then I've struggled to make new ones.

#31 shoopdeboop

Posted 02 June 2019 - 11:15 PM

I'm feeling this way very much lately. I have made a few friends through my daughters school. We sometimes do coffee and have had drinks a couple of times but we're not real friends.
I really want that hey get the wine glasses out im coming over type of friend, rather than the organized catch ups.
I've just spent a weekend feeling very lonely and sorry for myself so I can relate

#32 abegailo

Posted 13 June 2019 - 10:52 AM

Hey, you are definitely not alone. My family and I moved to Australia 2 years ago. We're from the Philippines, and before we migrated here, I've already lost connection with my friends.

I am definitely not a fan of socializing and attending parties and such. This is probably one of the reasons why I dont have friends here in Australia either.

I'm just quite happy and contented keeping to myself, staying at home with my family on weekends.

Sure I have friends, but not "close friends" that you can ask personal advises from and confide problems with.




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