Jump to content

Stopping telephone harrasment


  • Please log in to reply
68 replies to this topic

#51 Coffeegirl

Posted 17 May 2019 - 07:37 PM

View PostJelly Bee, on 17 May 2019 - 03:47 PM, said:

For those asking, what I know about this person is:
Name
Occupation
Phone number and email

That's all, not address as police previously said i need to know to take it further. But I am unsure of the quality of that advice.
I was going to my local station and I feel there was possibly a poor culture at that particular station

But you also know this person is a friend of your ex.   Tell the police this and give them contact details for your ex if you have them, or your ex’s family.   The police should be able to find him that way

This scumball needs to be tracked down and made to stop.

#52 Greatmum

Posted 17 May 2019 - 07:43 PM

Change everything and don’t give out.

How r they getting all your details.

#53 nasty buddha

Posted 17 May 2019 - 07:55 PM

View PostGreatmum, on 17 May 2019 - 07:43 PM, said:

Change everything and don’t give out.

How r they getting all your details.

I know what you are saying, but why should the onus be on the victim to change their details? If someone is that vindictive to call and threaten, even for a laugh, what else could they do?

#54 can'tstayaway

Posted 17 May 2019 - 08:10 PM

View Postnasty buddha, on 17 May 2019 - 07:27 PM, said:

I'm not sure if a private investigator can do more than police can to try and provide an address. Though, I would be fearful too with the break in you described.
The police won’t do anything without an intervention order.

To get an intervention order, the OP needs to get the address of the person harassing her.

The private detective will be able to help find the address.

This has been going on for 8 years and escalating. Yes, I agree the police should do more but sometimes if there are things we can do to help them do there job, it’s worth a try.

#55 RichardParker

Posted 17 May 2019 - 08:19 PM

It shouldn’t but there’s no magic lady in the universe policing this stuff- so sometimes you just have to do what you can to minimise the effect on you. It must be really stressful. I’d change my number and get a new email address.  Then get a PI to find his address and serve an intervention order.

Edited by RichardParker, 17 May 2019 - 08:20 PM.


#56 Charli73

Posted 17 May 2019 - 08:29 PM

View PostJelly Bee, on 17 May 2019 - 03:47 PM, said:

For those asking, what I know about this person is:
Name
Occupation
Phone number and email

That's all, not address as police previously said i need to know to take it further. But I am unsure of the quality of that advice.
I was going to my local station and I feel there was possibly a poor culture at that particular station

I would go to another police station until you find a lovely person that is willing to find this person and pay them a visit.
I had someone threatening our dog (not the same but) I knew who it was and one station said they couldn’t do anything but another lovely person from another station went and paid these people a visit and just from One visit years of harassment and threats of violence stopped.

please keep making a deal out of this until someone takes this seriously on your behalf

Edited by Charli73, 17 May 2019 - 08:29 PM.


#57 Fresh Start

Posted 18 May 2019 - 12:25 AM

I’m not the least bit surprised by police inaction and lack of care it is systemic. QLD Police still haven’t sacked a policeman who gave the address of a woman to her violent ex, they’re also appealing the victims of crime compensation was awarded.

#58 overlytired

Posted 18 May 2019 - 11:04 AM

View PostJelly Bee, on 17 May 2019 - 01:54 PM, said:

No, but equally being intimidated is not a reason to change your life to accommodate that intimidation is it?

Look I know the sense in changing my number completely, but I feel pretty strongly that there should be some action a victim can take that doesn't inconvenience THEM for someone else's bad behaviour.  
Anyway I agree it is the obvious next step, initially we just wanted to see if having a male voice on the voicemail would stop the messages being left. And it might have worked. But it didn't.

I do think that I need to escalate things with the police, I have tens of truly disgusting messages saved as voice recordings and to be told to go away repeatedly by the police is pretty poor

My bold.

Agree completely. You're obviously at the point where changing your number is the most viable option you have. However, while you do that, there should be some effort made by a collective "they" (police, telecom companies, ombudspeople, etc) in finding the person who's doing this to you, laying charges if warranted, and just making it stop..

I'm willing to bet whoever the next person who gets your current number tries to explain to your harasser that they are not you won't be a deterrent to this person. As you indicated, it may also escalate and uninvolved parties may end up injured, or worse.

OP changing her number likely won'e be the end of this.

Edited to fix double quote.

Edited by overlytired, 18 May 2019 - 11:06 AM.


#59 overlytired

Posted 18 May 2019 - 11:15 AM

View PostJelly Bee, on 17 May 2019 - 07:20 PM, said:

I don’t believe that. I believe it will escalate. When I passed the old phone to my partner I just started getting emails.

With the evidence you have, can their Internet provider be compelled to provide their contact information to the police? An e-mail has a certain amount of traceability.

#60 Jelly Bee

Posted 18 May 2019 - 11:23 AM

View Postoverlytired, on 18 May 2019 - 11:15 AM, said:



With the evidence you have, can their Internet provider be compelled to provide their contact information to the police? An e-mail has a certain amount of traceability.

I never thought of that - I’ll mention it when I go into the station this week. Planning to go Tuesday.

#61 Jelly Bee

Posted 18 May 2019 - 11:29 AM

View Postoverlytired, on 18 May 2019 - 11:15 AM, said:



With the evidence you have, can their Internet provider be compelled to provide their contact information to the police? An e-mail has a certain amount of traceability.

I never thought of that - I’ll mention it when I go into the station this week. Planning to go Tuesday.

#62 overlytired

Posted 18 May 2019 - 11:43 AM

When you speak with the police, do you describe the situation in general terms? I wonder if it would be helpful for you to put it all to paper (if it's not too distressing to do so): List the dates & times of the calls and e-mails, and a short description of the message.

DD MM YY SMS Threat to do XYZ
DD MM YY E-mail Said they would ABC
DD MM YY Break-in at investment property
DD MM YY SMS Mentions break-in at investment property

Probably a bit of effort on your part, but it may illustrate the problem more concisely?

#63 Pearson

Posted 18 May 2019 - 12:56 PM

You can find people's address via the electoral roll.

#64 qak

Posted 18 May 2019 - 01:12 PM

View PostPearson, on 18 May 2019 - 12:56 PM, said:

You can find people's address via the electoral roll.

I don't think it's generally available anymore, due to privacy?

https://www.aec.gov....Electoral_Roll/
Supply of elector information

Under the Commonwealth Electoral Act 1918, the electoral roll (containing names and addresses) may be supplied to prescribed authorities, members of parliament, political parties, approved medical researchers, public health programs and electoral researchers. It is also used to maintain joint Commonwealth and state and territory electoral rolls. For more details see:


#65 Mara6

Posted 18 May 2019 - 01:13 PM

Hi Jellybee,

I'm sorry you've had to go through this, it sounds terrifying and 8 years is hard to comprehend. I understand you shouldn't have to change your number and that that might not stop him, and as you said possibly could cause him to escalate.

I agree with overlytired above, writing down the facts (sorry you may have already)

Also, I believe police will look for the crimes within what he has done. If you lay out:
1 He knows you. He knows who you are, what you do, he knows your friends/partner, where you might be, he knows the house you own.
2 He has threatened to kill you and you have these messages.
3 This is repeated unrelenting behaviour ie not a one off
4 He has displayed violent behaviour - trashing your house and you have proof, messages etc
5 I think it would be reasonable to believe that he has the potential to follow through on violent behaviour toward you.

Therefore I think it would be reasonable for police to look him up.  You have his name, his general age and the general area that he would live, perhaps a previous address, and previous - possibly still current - mobile phone number.

That would be enough for them to bring him up and at the very least warn him, but I do think he has committed offences. They dont need to provide you with his address to do that, although they might if you need it in order for you to get a restraining order.

I hope going to a different station helps. If they arent interested initially ask to speak to a seargent. I would definitely do as above, write it all down in dot points and say you are frightened for your safety. It's not about being annoyed and being bothered and inconvenienced, you are concerned for your safety and he is a threat.

I think the ombudsman and other agencies are a good idea too.

Good luck jellybee xx

Edited by Mara6, 18 May 2019 - 01:13 PM.


#66 Pearson

Posted 18 May 2019 - 06:49 PM

View Postqak, on 18 May 2019 - 01:12 PM, said:



I don't think it's generally available anymore, due to privacy?

https://www.aec.gov....Electoral_Roll/
    Supply of elector information

Under the Commonwealth Electoral Act 1918, the electoral roll (containing names and addresses) may be supplied to prescribed authorities, members of parliament, political parties, approved medical researchers, public health programs and electoral researchers. It is also used to maintain joint Commonwealth and state and territory electoral rolls. For more details see:

I was more referring to the fact that the Police could find this person, hell, they don't even need that. I would be asking the officers for assistance as it is ridiculous that you have put up with it and they've done nothing. I would be pointing them in the direction of them for the offence of b&e as well. And go above their heads if they don't act. I would also kill the old phone. If your old friends want to reach out, you have said you can be found by name and what you do. If you insist on keeping old phone, turn off messagebank.

#67 Sancti-claws

Posted 19 May 2019 - 07:26 AM

Was the break up with ex acrimonious or affable enough for him to be told to pull his friend into line, or at least give his address for an order?

Perhaps a PI?

What you are having to live through is horrible.

If you wish to keep the phone, have it all go to message bank for a certain amount of time - get someone else to transcribe any messages (old friends can be called back) and ditch it after a bit.

I know the principle of not having a stalker force you to change your behaviour, but 8 years he has been changing your life.

And yes, the police should have enough information to track him down and issue a cease and desist.

#68 Jelly Bee

Posted 20 May 2019 - 06:34 PM

Yes that’s a great point. My life has all kinds of inconvenience already, I need to consider the inconvenience of a changed number against the stress etc

The ex moved overseas after the breakup back to his country of origin, the split was fine but in the years since we’ve lost touch. I don’t think that’s a helpful avenue unfortunately

#69 *Spikey*

Posted 20 May 2019 - 06:53 PM

Interestingly, I had an issue with someone doxing me (published a photo of me during a heated debate and invited people to 'recognise' me locally), which I reported promptly to the AFP.

The investigating officer was a tad reluctant - internet, fake profiles etc, until I pointed out that the person was also the contact officer for a local organisation, and the local phone book provided an address for that surname and initial (small town).

They did their job. They can access this kind of information if they need to - they can access drivers licence details FFS. Unless the person's name is John Smith, they are reasonably likely to be able to work out who it is.

Also talk to Telstra. They have access to phone numbers, even if you are getting 'private number' on your phone. Which means it can be traced back to the owner of the phone and the maker of the call. What that person is doing is illegal - a crime. So you do have options.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.