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How do you refer to yourself when you talk to yourself?


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#1 kyrrie

Posted 16 May 2019 - 02:57 PM

Doesn’t matter if it’s out loud or just in your head!

So do you use, I or you or your name? Do you mix it up or does it seem to depend on your mood or what you are thinking about?

For example if I’m telling myself to get out of bed it might be:

‘I need to get up’ or
‘You need to get up now’ or
‘Ok Kyrrie, it’s time to get up’

I think it depends on my mood. The first is just ok, the second tends to be more when I am feeling bad or guilty and I only use my name if I’m in a good mood. But I’m not really sure.

It’s a bit of a light hearted example, but is it the same for everyone or are we all different?

#2 seayork2002

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:03 PM

I think I say it all sorts of ways about myself

I have met people who refer to themselves in the 3rd person (ie Sam says to me 'Sam is going to the shops')

What I call DH depends on my mood

and DS is called 'yes your royal master' or some other title, depending on his mood

#3 Kallie88

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:08 PM

A mix of all, depends what sort of self talk it is I suppose, though i've never thought about it enough to identify a pattern
Eta: not my name very often though

Edited by Kallie88, 16 May 2019 - 04:00 PM.


#4 Jennifaraway

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:13 PM

I'm not actually sure! I know I never use my name (my family was never big into using people's names - it's a known linguistic thingamajig). Probably a combination of "I" and "you".

The kids get their names yelled at them a lot though! :rofl:

#5 SelceLisbeth

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:44 PM

Probably not a surprise but I catch myself calling myself stupid b**ch (eg. just get it done, you stupid b**ch"), a fat lazy b**ch, the list goes on. I am obviously aware this is not healthy and when I realise I am doing it I restate it in my mind with my name. Lately it is hapenning a lot as I am so overwhelmed and frustrated.

ETA: DS#1 used to refer to himsel fin the third person. I dont know if it is an ASD thing or not as his younger brother never did it. We just had to do a lot of modelling of the appropriate language.

Edited by SelceLisbeth, 16 May 2019 - 03:45 PM.


#6 ~J_WTF~

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:46 PM

I or you.

I don’t refer to myself by my name because I don’t like my name. I also don’t refer to myself by my NN. When I try to think like that, if just feels weird.

#7 Riotproof

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:51 PM

View PostJennifaraway, on 16 May 2019 - 03:13 PM, said:

I'm not actually sure! I know I never use my name (my family was never big into using people's names - it's a known linguistic thingamajig). Probably a combination of "I" and "you".

The kids get their names yelled at them a lot though! :rofl:

Dh does this. As a result, it’s actually a bit annoying when he does use my name. Or sweet. Depending on what he’s saying.

#8 seayork2002

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:52 PM

View Post~J_WTF~, on 16 May 2019 - 03:46 PM, said:

I or you.

I don’t refer to myself by my name because I don’t like my name. I also don’t refer to myself by my NN. When I try to think like that, if just feels weird.

Yeah thinking more I think it is I or you that I use as well

I have nothing against my name I just think a name is for other people to use not the person who 'owns' it (probably did not explain that properly - and I am only speaking for myself)

#9 little lion

Posted 16 May 2019 - 03:57 PM

Just “I”, I think?

#10 Odd-1-Out

Posted 16 May 2019 - 04:47 PM

I dont think I ever have. I might think "It's time to get up" but that's about it. I never had that self talk voice people talk about.

#11 Flimsy*But*Fun

Posted 16 May 2019 - 04:50 PM

I use, "You."

May I just say, I LOVE the topic title!

#12 kyrrie

Posted 16 May 2019 - 04:50 PM

View PostOdd-1-Out, on 16 May 2019 - 04:47 PM, said:

I dont think I ever have. I might think "It's time to get up" but that's about it. I never had that self talk voice people talk about.

Wow, isn’t it amazing how different we all are.



#13 WTFancie shmancie

Posted 16 May 2019 - 04:54 PM

I.

but mostly I just say

'get up.'

'hurry up'

etc.

#14 wallofdodo

Posted 16 May 2019 - 04:59 PM

View PostJennifaraway, on 16 May 2019 - 03:13 PM, said:

I'm not actually sure! I know I never use my name (my family was never big into using people's names - it's a known linguistic thingamajig). Probably a combination of "I" and "you".


This is interesting. When people use my actual name, I get a bit of a jolt, cause I am not used to hearing it.

Even at work, you kind of instinctually know when someone is talking to you.

My name is more often written than said out loud.

For the sake of this thread, usually I

#15 lizzzard

Posted 16 May 2019 - 05:16 PM

I’m the same WallofDodo. I don’t dislike my name but for some reason I struggle to associate it with myself. So weird whey I think about it. Thanks never use my name when talking to myself either.

#16 Gudrun

Posted 16 May 2019 - 05:23 PM

By my birth surname. Second person singular pronoun and qualitative expletives where appropriate.

Edited by Gudrun, 16 May 2019 - 05:54 PM.


#17 AnythingGoes

Posted 16 May 2019 - 05:24 PM

I tend to use 'you' but I've realised that I (like a PP) tend to be pretty negative and use "you stupid/lazy/crazy b**ch" a fair bit. Which is a little disturbing. These were the kind of things my mum called me and it appears to have stuck.

#18 Odd-1-Out

Posted 16 May 2019 - 05:32 PM

View Postkyrrie, on 16 May 2019 - 04:50 PM, said:



Wow, isn’t it amazing how different we all are.

Sure is, probably why am the "Odd one out" lol

#19 babylove69

Posted 16 May 2019 - 05:34 PM

My name most of the time

#20 Mmmcheese

Posted 16 May 2019 - 05:38 PM

I use my name when telling myself off!  and also 'i' when trying a bit of positive motivation ('I can do this' is repeated often) also stupid and lazy pop up often.

#21 JediMaster

Posted 16 May 2019 - 06:51 PM

I or you...  Very rarely by my first name.

And yeah I feel a bit disconnected from my first name. Like it sounds strange to my ears to hear someone saying it - or talking about me using it within ear shot.

How different must life be without constant self talk PP- my goodness sometimes I’d love a break from it.

#22 kyrrie

Posted 16 May 2019 - 07:54 PM

View PostAnythingGoes, on 16 May 2019 - 05:24 PM, said:

I tend to use 'you' but I've realised that I (like a PP) tend to be pretty negative and use "you stupid/lazy/crazy b**ch" a fair bit. Which is a little disturbing. These were the kind of things my mum called me and it appears to have stuck.

Yes, I’ve taken note of it this evening. The negative stuff definitely uses ‘you’. But it was funny, when I was angry with myself I used you. ‘What have you done you are such an idiot’ etc. But later on when I was exasperated with my forgetfulness but not angry, I spoke out loud and used my name.

Obviously it wasn’t a good afternoon. Indeed

#23 kyrrie

Posted 16 May 2019 - 07:56 PM

View PostJediMaster, on 16 May 2019 - 06:51 PM, said:


How different must life be without constant self talk PP- my goodness sometimes I’d love a break from it.

But you wouldn’t know would you? That’s why I asked, because there are so many things that go on in our heads and we just think it’s the same for everyone. I started to think, but what if it’s not?

#24 Lyra

Posted 16 May 2019 - 08:20 PM

I often refer to myself by name but usually when it refers to tasks that need to be done or have been done

eg Past Lyra was awesome when she wrote all those anecdotal notes for work! It's made present Lyra very happy!

eg Future Lyra better appreciate all the work that present Lyra is doing for her!

One time my husband said: stop doing things for future Lyra; she can't hurt you!

#25 Pocket...

Posted 17 May 2019 - 11:41 PM

View PostJediMaster, on 16 May 2019 - 06:51 PM, said:

I or you...  Very rarely by my first name.

And yeah I feel a bit disconnected from my first name. Like it sounds strange to my ears to hear someone saying it - or talking about me using it within ear shot.

How different must life be without constant self talk PP- my goodness sometimes I’d love a break from it.

I feel the same! I have a constant inner monologue. Even if I'm doing yoga or watching TV or reading a book. There's still at least one train of thought in the background. I wonder what it's like to be able to turn that off.

I use I or you mostly, I don't think they split according to if I'm being positive or negative.




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