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Not many family holidays
149 replies to this topic
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:12 PM
Kinda fluffy, kinda serious wdyt.
So, we don't go on holidays often, or travel very much in general. There's several reasons for this. Finances being the main one but also anxiety (me and 2 x kids), not having a lot of leave available from work, kids are dreadful away from home and routine, it's not something my family did growing up (as in never had one holiday even).
The thread about where would you go with 5k made me think - I have no idea. Partly I guess because it's not a possibility so no use even dreaming.
So, do you take many family holidays? Is this yet another thing my kids will need therapy for? I know they sometimes get jealous of trips that our friends and family go on. I also know they can travel when they're adults, if they so desire. Can you raise well rounded kids without the benefits that different countries and cultures brings?
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:19 PM
Of course you can! Not everyone has the finances to go on interstate or overseas trips every year. Can I just say though - travelling got more fun for me as kids got older. Some of the kids most memorable trips have not been the o/s ones - but the hour down the coast staying in a cabin type trip. Xxx
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:21 PM
We don’t take what many here would call holidays..
We roadtrip and camp for most of our trips. We try to have one big one (7-10 days) a year and a few weekends away but it doesn’t always work out due to DHs roster, my uni and work and DD needs.
My kids are probably going to be in therapy for being forced to spend hours in a car with their parents music
I think you can absolutely raise well rounded kids without overseas travel. It’s nice to be able to offer your kids that but it’s a privilege, that only a limited part of the population will be able to afford.
I know families who have never left their local town areas, we are talking a 200km radius. Some of these people are adults and still have gone much further.
Travel or not travelling doesn’t make you well rounded imo.
Edited by ~J_WTF~, 13 May 2019 - 04:28 PM.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:26 PM
Of course you can.
When I was a kid, family 'holidays' were driving to stay with family members for a week or two and then driving home. We really didn't do anything different than we would have at home. Go to the local pool, walk around, go to visit other people for afternoon tea etc.
A frequent 'holiday' was just my sister and I catching the train to a rural city to stay with family (of course!) on their farm. We ran around the farm, assisted with the animals etc.
DH and I travelled a lot before DD came along, not so much since despite us having the money to do so. I wish we had taken more holidays with DD but timing once she hit high school was difficult and she was anxious about not any missing school.
Don't beat yourself up about it, OP. I don't think my DD has turned out to be a sociopath and I doubt your kids will either.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:28 PM
We go from caravan parks up to staying in posh hotels overseas depending on what we feel like it.
Sometimes we stay in very basic cabins for a long weekend very local.
We would camp but that takes being organised and DS does it through scouts.
a lot of the time we go away and stay one night in a hotel within about 2hrs of home just on a normal weekend and just go on the train and stay in hotels that ghosts would be afraid of
I have camped myself when I was younger though.
to me a holiday is whatever you want to call it.
sometimes we stay home and do fun local things and still call that a holiday - sometimes if DS whinges we threaten to have a holiday without him and follow through
Oh sometimes we just stay in the CBD of Sydney (we live in the NW) and pretend we are tourists
Edited by seayork2002, 13 May 2019 - 04:32 PM.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:31 PM
We didn't do family holidays as kids. I feel my brother and I are fairly well rounded adults. We've both done a bit of travel since growing up, me in australia, him overseas. I'm sure some travel can be good for kids, but I don't think it's necessary at all
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:33 PM
We live in Melb and every summer spend three weeks in Qld. We have my husbands family there. My daughters cousins are all up there so they do lots of activities together. We have been doing it since she was 11 months (7 now). We have randomly talked about going somewhere else but it is comforting and relaxing going to the Sunshine Coast every year.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:34 PM
I first travelled overseas when i was 33. Until then, all my holidays had been driving holidays with family or DP. I had visited much of SE Australia (apart from Tassie) and SW WA. Often staying with family or family friends.
'd like to think I was still raised with a decent appreciation of other peoples and cultures even without visiting other countries. Most important is to raise kids with enquiring minds to learn for themselves.
There's so much to see and learn for us all locally and within Australia. Overseas travel as a kids is icing on the cake.
Edited by dadwasathome, 13 May 2019 - 04:34 PM.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:34 PM
Mine are 3 & 5. We took a road trip out into central Qld last year as our big holiday.
Our kids are pretty good, but still being away from home & out of routine for so long was draining on all of us. The big mr missed his toys & the little mr was just tired, hot & hangry.
that has made us decide to leave the bigger travel until the kids get a bit older.
In saying that, a long weekend away in a self catered apartment at the coast is usually very successful. Kids can get fed at a time that suits them & if DH & I want to eat out, the kids can come along & there is no pressure on them to eat anything. Plus they are usually better behaved because they are not starving.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:34 PM
We did road trips down the coast when I was growing up and I have lots of fun memories!
I’ve only ever been overseas once, when I was in my teens. I travelled a lot interstate for work in my twenties and the last thing I wanted to do in my breaks was get on another plane. And now we have DD big trips are not a financial option.
I don’t particularly enjoy travel and while I’d like to see places overseas, the practicalities (getting there, organising everything) make me cringe.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 04:49 PM
The only travel we did as kids involved visiting relatives interstate. I like to think I’m well adjusted despite the lack of ‘proper’ holidays as a child.
But I did move out of home at 17 and then travelled the world for a few years after uni and married a fellow backpacker. So maybe the lack of childhood travel did affect me.
We do a lot of family holidays now. We like it, the kids like it, and we prioritise it. But that’s us, most people are not as obsessive about travel as we are.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:00 PM
HOlidays for me as a kid was two weeks on the mid-north coast of NSW in a holiday house with mum, dad and sister, with the odd bigger trip to Brisbane (for Expo 88) and lots of caravan parks and cabins around NSW.
Similar things for my family now. We camp a lot as we can't afford much else most of the time, with 4 kids. We visit the grandparents in Sydney and on mid-north coast (well inland) and try to do some touristy/holiday type things when we are visiting family if at all possible.
We did overseas in Dec 2017 with my parents to visit my sister and her family (husband and two kids) for 3 weeks. My parents were incredibly generous and paid for our flights otherwise we not have been able to afford it. The anticipation of the trip for me was the most nerve wracking of the whole experience as, by and large, the trip itself was great. But stressing about how the kids were going to cope on the plane made the few months (actually close to 6) beforehand made for a high tense situation!
So yes all my kids have been overseas, once, and aren't likely to go again any time soon!!!
More camping coming up!
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:05 PM
We had a holiday home growing up so we would go to the same place year in, year out, see the same people etc., etc. Sure it was fun as a younger kid but as a teenager I grew bored & tired of it.
We still have our holiday homes but we've rented them out & now travel to different locations every time we go away. Roughly 2-3 small-ish trips away during the year & all of December/January every year.
I feel the kids are better off seeing different places/faces than the same old, same old.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:05 PM
Can you raise well rounded kids without the benefits that different countries and cultures brings?
There are a lot of people here who have more disposable income than we ever had.
We went away once a year for two weeks which required a lot of saving of money....we drove 8 hours and stayed in a cabin resort on the NSW south coast.
The memories of these holidays which happened BTW until they were doing VCE are some of the best they have.
As my mum said to me...." only boring people get bored".
Edited by Soontobegran, 13 May 2019 - 05:09 PM.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:08 PM
Leaving home for an extended time with small children is not fun. We tried it once or twice, it was a disaster. Once DS hit 8yo things got a lot easier and trips away became manageable. At 12yo he is pretty easy to travel with, but we make a lot of accommodations for him. It is not like travelling pre-kid.
That said, I think it is completely fine to never go away if you can't manage it for whatever reason, I don't think it damages a child or anything like that. I'm sure your kids are fine.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:30 PM
We go away on a family holiday for 7 days on Boxing Day every year . In a rented holiday home in various locations that we drive to . Last year was Portland previous year Beechworth , Phillip island , ocean grove , the Grampians ..... the house is always budget accomodation . Around $200 a night ( cheap for that time of year ) . We cook all meals at home , or get cheap takeaway . Heaps of picnics and bush walks . We spend as little as possible . No internet means heaps of board games and movie nights .
I have 5 kids so it’s really not fancy simply because we can’t afford fancy .
We however are starting to do trips with one kid at a time. This year I am taking my nearly 16 year old to the USA for two weeks . Just us two . In a couple of years I will take the second eldest for a big overseas trips once again just us two .
I really want to enjoy going overseas with my kids but can’t spend the $50 grand doing it with them all at once !
So individually it needs to be .
Dh has no interest going overseas so it suits us fine .
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:53 PM
We have a caravan so we try to get away most long weekends for a few nights and then might do a week here or there when we have holidays booked. The only time my kids have been on a plane was when the eldest were very young (9mths & 3yo) and we went to Darwin with DH who was going there for work. That was 14 years ago. My holidays growing up were always interstate to stay with family. My first time on a plane was on my honeymoon. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and I don't think my kids are missing out on anything.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:58 PM
Ive just got back from our yearly island holiday. It's a time share that i bought off my parents to keep it in the family. Now... i'm so very privileged to be able to do this - its a fairly good price for maintainance each year (probs a third of the price of paying for the equivalent acom at same resort) but by no means "cheap" however... my kids DO NOT appreciate just how lucky they are. They must be the LEAST well rounded 9 year olds possible. Admittedly they have disabilities but are also perfectly capable of being decent humans and unfortunately spent last week being whiny demanding demons. So frankly, having a holiday regularly does not a well rounded individual necessarily make...
We also occasionally go to Melbourne but only because we have built in acomm in the form of in laws so it's just a case of scraping together air fares.
My kids have never been OS so i cant totally answer your question.
Just wait and see what happens as they get older - your financial situation might change and they will be more decent to travel with the older they get.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 05:59 PM
We’ve gotten into camping but only since my youngest was six or so. We would love to go O/S but don’t have the money either.
Strangely enough we did more O/S travel when the kids were younger. It’s true they get more expensive the older they are
I think a lot of people are in the same situation but maybe you are listening/hearing more from those who go away?
Posted 13 May 2019 - 06:00 PM
We're in Brisbane, and typically spend a few long weekends at the Gold Coast each year, but that's about it.
I grew up travelling overseas every couple of years with my parents, and am occasionally sad we can't do the same, but have somewhat different financial situations - for one, I was an only child, and we have 2. I've only just come off minimal part time hours and uni studies, and DH doesn't take much time off. We also spend considerably more on extra-curricular activities. We tend to spend more money on weekend activities, eating at restaurants than my family did - all 'play' money went for holidays.
We've recently decided to make the call to switch from private to public highschool, and hope that we may be able to get in an overseas trip or two in the next ten years.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 06:17 PM
The modern phenomenon of family travel is just that - modern. Very few families travelled together pre-WWII. Most families did very little travel. Wealthy parents travelled normally without kids.
It has only been since the cost of airfares have decreased that it has become relatively common. (Eg the cost of a flight to London about 30 -40 yrs ago was similar to the cost of a new small car)
Posted 13 May 2019 - 06:18 PM
my sister takes her kids overseas on holidays every year and then takes another Australian holiday as well. In addition to this they go away often on weekends.
I would not say they are particularly well rounded or have much cultural appreciation. They stay 4-5 Star everywhere they go. It is hard to describe but they love resorts. They don’t catch public transport etc.
I guess it doesn’t help that the kids very white bread grammar schools.
I think we’ll rounded and culturally aware comes from an open mind.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 06:25 PM
I'm not sure kids recognise what they are 'missing' out on. It's just a matter of whatever is the norm in your family. They can choose when they are adults whether they want to travel more.
If you feel that you'd like a family holiday, why not take babysteps - hire a cabin in a caravan park somewhere that's not too far away and just do 'home' away from home. Or just a few days at a beachside town.
We did go on family holidays when I was a kid, interstate and sometimes overseas. So that was my norm. We're fortunate enough to take yearly holidays with our kids too so they're used to travelling to various places.
Posted 13 May 2019 - 06:25 PM
I think the kind of openness and intellectual curiosity we expect people to gain from travel actually comes from encouraging an interest in reading, science and the arts as well as encouraging the practice of empathy. No matter how far you travel, if you were an ignorant jerk before you got on the plane, you won’t be any different after six months backpacking as an ignorant jerk. All the stuff you’re currently doing go help them become well rounded adults will be enough. Travel would just be a lovely extra that you and they can pursue when finances permit.
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