Jump to content


  • Please log in to reply
31 replies to this topic

#26 seayork2002

Posted 11 May 2019 - 02:50 PM

View PostGreatmum, on 10 May 2019 - 07:29 PM, said:

It’s his share he can do what he likes it’s not up to u.

This, his choice, if I give money it is because I choose too not because I have a criteria of they help me or not.

Same if DH chooses to the same for his family, I don't care the reason

We both would put DS first but as long as we have made provisions for him

Edited by seayork2002, 11 May 2019 - 02:57 PM.

#27 Mishu

Posted 11 May 2019 - 02:51 PM

Is his mother and sister financially dependent upon your husband in any way?

Perhaps you could structure the Will in a way that allows for your children's needs to be taken care of first (maybe set a specific $ amount?) and then if there are extra assets available they can be shared with other family members.

#28 blimkybill

Posted 11 May 2019 - 07:12 PM

The care of your children does not come into your will. The will is only about money.  After your death your will must legally be honoured however decisions about the care of the kids can be changed from what you requested.

Any money intended for the kids should be left to them in a testamentary trust, not to their likely carer. Then trustees of the estate can make decisions on how much and when to distribute money for the care of the kids. And ideally there should be something left for them when they reach a certain age.

I would consider life insurance as part of your planning at this stage.

Re your brother wishing to leave some money to his mother and sister.  I think most people with young children will all their money to the children. However if he has some money which you consider his, then perhaps I would let him make that call. He should listen to the lawyers advice,  but I think as a spouse I would give him some say if it's really important to him.

#29 Jersey Caramel

Posted 15 May 2019 - 04:28 PM

Our will/s cover what would happen if one of us dies (everything goes to the other), both of us die (everything goes into trust for the kids,  with 2 trustees) and if all of us die - in this case, the estate gets split 50:50 and we have each appointed who we would like to give the money to and what proportion to each (parents, siblings etc). You could consider doing something like this. I don't think most people,  unless they were very wealthy,  would be looking to give away part of their children's inheritance to financially independent adults.  That seems a bit crazy while the children are still young and dependant,  perhaps things might change once they are adults and set up properly.

ETA: is there any non-cash item that your DH could will to his mum and/or sister you make him feel like he is looking after them. E.g. a car or caravan or collection of some sort? These items can be a hassle for your executor to have to sell, but do have value. Might make your DH feel better to be giving them something 'worth $10k' (just for example) but that won't feel like as much as $10k cash to you.

Edited by Jersey Caramel, 15 May 2019 - 04:32 PM.

#30 JoanJett

Posted 15 May 2019 - 04:53 PM

The "catastrophe clauses", which apply if both parents and both children die, are probably what you really need to think about and discuss.  That's where an estate planner can be really helpful.  You also need to consider that super is outside your will, unless you have binding death nominations lodged and it reverts to your estate.  Similarly for insurance.

If your husband does want to gift something to family members, it's also important to think about it terms of the % of the estate, rather than just absolute numbers.  If wills don't get updated regularly, and your financial position changes, or you get to a point where you are leaving more assets than cash, small amounts of money can make a big deal.  

I would recommend seeing an estate planner - it helps to also frame your insurance needs while your children are young as well as take you through all the options for your wills. Don't forget enduring powers of attorney.  Often the estate planners draft all the framework and work with a law firm that then write the will.

#31 Greatmum

Posted 15 May 2019 - 07:59 PM

Yes of course but u usually leave to partner then children the others.

#32 JoanJett

Posted 15 May 2019 - 09:32 PM

View PostGreatmum, on 15 May 2019 - 07:59 PM, said:

Yes of course but u usually leave to partner then children the others.

I'm not sure if you're referring to my comment about super.  My comment wasn't about who you leave it to, but the fact that super can be claimed upon regardless of your will, as it is administered differently.  Therefore, it is important to have your intentions fully documented and legally bound.  

I see it as two separate issues for the OP - agreement upon arrangements, but also ensuring those arrangements are fully set and as binding as possible.

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.


Top 5 Articles


From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.


Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.