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#26 seayork2002

Posted 11 May 2019 - 02:50 PM

View PostGreatmum, on 10 May 2019 - 07:29 PM, said:

It’s his share he can do what he likes it’s not up to u.

This, his choice, if I give money it is because I choose too not because I have a criteria of they help me or not.

Same if DH chooses to the same for his family, I don't care the reason

We both would put DS first but as long as we have made provisions for him

Edited by seayork2002, 11 May 2019 - 02:57 PM.


#27 Mishu

Posted 11 May 2019 - 02:51 PM

Is his mother and sister financially dependent upon your husband in any way?

Perhaps you could structure the Will in a way that allows for your children's needs to be taken care of first (maybe set a specific $ amount?) and then if there are extra assets available they can be shared with other family members.

#28 blimkybill

Posted 11 May 2019 - 07:12 PM

The care of your children does not come into your will. The will is only about money.  After your death your will must legally be honoured however decisions about the care of the kids can be changed from what you requested.

Any money intended for the kids should be left to them in a testamentary trust, not to their likely carer. Then trustees of the estate can make decisions on how much and when to distribute money for the care of the kids. And ideally there should be something left for them when they reach a certain age.

I would consider life insurance as part of your planning at this stage.

Re your brother wishing to leave some money to his mother and sister.  I think most people with young children will all their money to the children. However if he has some money which you consider his, then perhaps I would let him make that call. He should listen to the lawyers advice,  but I think as a spouse I would give him some say if it's really important to him.


#29 Jersey Caramel

Posted 15 May 2019 - 04:28 PM

Our will/s cover what would happen if one of us dies (everything goes to the other), both of us die (everything goes into trust for the kids,  with 2 trustees) and if all of us die - in this case, the estate gets split 50:50 and we have each appointed who we would like to give the money to and what proportion to each (parents, siblings etc). You could consider doing something like this. I don't think most people,  unless they were very wealthy,  would be looking to give away part of their children's inheritance to financially independent adults.  That seems a bit crazy while the children are still young and dependant,  perhaps things might change once they are adults and set up properly.

ETA: is there any non-cash item that your DH could will to his mum and/or sister you make him feel like he is looking after them. E.g. a car or caravan or collection of some sort? These items can be a hassle for your executor to have to sell, but do have value. Might make your DH feel better to be giving them something 'worth $10k' (just for example) but that won't feel like as much as $10k cash to you.

Edited by Jersey Caramel, 15 May 2019 - 04:32 PM.


#30 JoanJett

Posted 15 May 2019 - 04:53 PM

The "catastrophe clauses", which apply if both parents and both children die, are probably what you really need to think about and discuss.  That's where an estate planner can be really helpful.  You also need to consider that super is outside your will, unless you have binding death nominations lodged and it reverts to your estate.  Similarly for insurance.

If your husband does want to gift something to family members, it's also important to think about it terms of the % of the estate, rather than just absolute numbers.  If wills don't get updated regularly, and your financial position changes, or you get to a point where you are leaving more assets than cash, small amounts of money can make a big deal.  

I would recommend seeing an estate planner - it helps to also frame your insurance needs while your children are young as well as take you through all the options for your wills. Don't forget enduring powers of attorney.  Often the estate planners draft all the framework and work with a law firm that then write the will.

#31 Greatmum

Posted 15 May 2019 - 07:59 PM

Yes of course but u usually leave to partner then children the others.

#32 JoanJett

Posted 15 May 2019 - 09:32 PM

View PostGreatmum, on 15 May 2019 - 07:59 PM, said:

Yes of course but u usually leave to partner then children the others.

I'm not sure if you're referring to my comment about super.  My comment wasn't about who you leave it to, but the fact that super can be claimed upon regardless of your will, as it is administered differently.  Therefore, it is important to have your intentions fully documented and legally bound.  

I see it as two separate issues for the OP - agreement upon arrangements, but also ensuring those arrangements are fully set and as binding as possible.




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