Just needing to have a chat really, I've exhausted this topic with my husband and friends and just need a fresh perspective and I'm going around in circles in my head!
I'm 34 and have a 7 and almost 5 year old - boy and girl. They're great.. we're a content happy little family.
Over a year ago now we took in a foster child - he was 8 months old when we got him and he just left a couple of months ago at 20 months. So we had him for a year. We totally fell in love with him and it tore our hearts out him leaving.
I was always content with 2 and didn't think I wanted a 3rd. But after having our foster kid I realised how great 3 can be and the wonderful dynamic they all had. Now I really want a 3rd! Yes it was more work, but I didn't feel like I was drowning, perhaps because my two are a bit older too?
My husband is very on the fence with a 3rd. He is totally happy with our lives and doesn't want to rock the boat so to speak - why fix something that ain't broken. We have no idea how a 3rd may impact us. I see all the good they can bring and the love and happiness, but he is worried it may have a negative impact (on the kids, stress, money etc). I do totally see his point of view, and do agree to an extent. But I should also mention he is totally happy to have another one if it's something I want, he's not saying no he just has reservations. I would never do it if he didn't want it.
We have a big enough house, car etc.. suppose it's more the long term things like holidays, activities etc that we know would add extra costs. But I also understand you can't put a price on a child.
I know I can't ask people to tell me what to do!! I just wonder if anyone has some advice, how hard it really is.. long term impacts.. and if having two that are that bit older may actually work in our favour. I've read a lot of forums where people say they wanted a 3rd and kind of regretted it after actually having one, and that totally scares me.
Anyway, appreciate any stories or advice! Thanks so much
Edited by kris85, 28 April 2019 - 06:50 PM.