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Birthday surprise oops


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#1 lovinglifeohyeah

Posted 24 April 2019 - 01:33 PM

My bestie's birthday is coming up.  I've bought us tickets for Muriels Wedding the Musical for the 8th May - a complete surprise, I've just told her to keep the date free.

Found out today her daughter has bought them tickets for the 4th.  Great minds hey....!?!  So what would you do - tell your friend or let it play out?  I had also planned to catch up with my friend on her actual birthday (10th) for a special brekky.

Will she want to see it twice - thoughts???

#2 Crombek

Posted 24 April 2019 - 01:37 PM

I would get her something else and take someone else with me on the 8th, or sell them. Yes it’s disappointing but I would hate to disappoint her daughter more.

#3 No Drama Please

Posted 24 April 2019 - 01:41 PM

Don’t tell her! I’d stick with the special breakfast and take someone else

#4 Heather11

Posted 24 April 2019 - 01:58 PM

View PostCrombek, on 24 April 2019 - 01:37 PM, said:

I would get her something else and take someone else with me on the 8th, or sell them. Yes it’s disappointing but I would hate to disappoint her daughter more.

How is she disappointing the daughter?  From my reading of the OP the daughter is taking her mum to see it before the OP is. If it was the other way round it would be different.

I would actually wait until they have been.  If she raves about it then take her again.  If not do something different and take someone else.

#5 born.a.girl

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:05 PM

Is it possible to word up the daughter, so she can put the feelers out as to whether a repeat would be welcome?

I can't fathom it, I don't ever recall loving a movie, theatre, ballet to the point of wanting a repeat, even if I've thought them brilliant.  Other people are obviously different, because some have been to some shows a number of times.


Good luck with working it out.

#6 creatamum

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:05 PM

Does she know her daughter is taking her or is it a surprise as well. If she already knows then I would explain the situation as you are going to have to tell her there is a change of plans since she is keeping the date open.

#7 seayork2002

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:06 PM

View PostCrombek, on 24 April 2019 - 01:37 PM, said:

I would get her something else and take someone else with me on the 8th, or sell them. Yes it’s disappointing but I would hate to disappoint her daughter more.

Yes this - I would not ask her to see it twice, I would take someone else

#8 Crombek

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:10 PM

View PostHeather11, on 24 April 2019 - 01:58 PM, said:



How is she disappointing the daughter?  From my reading of the OP the daughter is taking her mum to see it before the OP is. If it was the other way round it would be different.

I would actually wait until they have been.  If she raves about it then take her again.  If not do something different and take someone else.

She might not disappoint her at all. I am making the assumption that the daughter is relatively young?

I personally would be concerned about putting the daughter in a position of feeling like her thunder had been stolen (assuming she was going to present the ticket before the date) so I’d just avoid it altogether.

#9 lovinglifeohyeah

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:11 PM

View Postcreatamum, on 24 April 2019 - 02:05 PM, said:

Does she know her daughter is taking her or is it a surprise as well. If she already knows then I would explain the situation as you are going to have to tell her there is a change of plans since she is keeping the date open.

No she's been asked by her daughter to keep May 4th free.  I've also asked her to keep May 8th free.  To put her off the scent I keep rambling about a movie we both need to see really soon - which is now booked in with our other friends for the following week!!!

So I guess I can pull out of the 8th saying "well, we are going to the movies next week with our friends!" and just stick to the brekky, but of course she'll know when we catch up with me and our other friends - what I then got up to on the 8th!  I'm bloody keen to go lol!

#10 Heather11

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:31 PM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 24 April 2019 - 02:05 PM, said:

Is it possible to word up the daughter, so she can put the feelers out as to whether a repeat would be welcome?

I can't fathom it, I don't ever recall loving a movie, theatre, ballet to the point of wanting a repeat, even if I've thought them brilliant.  Other people are obviously different, because some have been to some shows a number of times.


Good luck with working it out.

I'm a bit like you.

However, my DD paid to see The Greatest Showman twice when it came out.  She is seeing Avengers, End Game twice this weekend.

A friend went over to Melbourne to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and told us she is now wondering if she can convince her DH to go again.

#11 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:46 PM

Every musical I’ve seen, I’d’ve been happy to see twice.

Since she gets to go with her daughter first (and you want to see it), I’d let it play out and enjoy her reaction.

#12 Mollycoddle

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:58 PM

Don't tell her, plan something else and use/sell the tickets yourself.  Especially don't tell her if you don't know whether she knows her daughter is taking her, as then you'll ruin the daughter's surprise as well.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 24 April 2019 - 02:58 PM.


#13 seayork2002

Posted 24 April 2019 - 02:58 PM

View PostFeral-as-Meggs, on 24 April 2019 - 02:46 PM, said:

Every musical I’ve seen, I’d’ve been happy to see twice.

Since she gets to go with her daughter first (and you want to see it), I’d let it play out and enjoy her reaction.

I have seen the same movie multiple times, once on the same day but my choice I did not do it because I was obliged too.

She may be 100% happy to see the musical twice but I would hate it if I had to find out someone felt they had to see it twice just because I had bought tickets as well as someone else.

Only the OP would know if her friend was happy too or not

#14 Octopodes

Posted 24 April 2019 - 03:02 PM

I'd just let it play out. I am a 'happy to go twice' person though.

#15 Future-self

Posted 24 April 2019 - 05:49 PM

The OP said she wants to see the show so all the suggestions of seling the tickets haven't factored that in!


It happened to me a few years ago - DH bought me Phantom of the Opera TIckets for him and I to go for Xmas. My Dad bought tickets for me and my siblings to go with him as well. From memory the tickets were a week apart. It was fine, it was an outing with different people, dining someone different before etc and a great show. It wasn't really a problem to have IMO

So I wouldn't even worry and both just take her.

#16 lozoodle

Posted 24 April 2019 - 06:29 PM

Oh what are the odds! I'd leave it for her daughter to take her, she'd be so excited about that. I know you are too of course, but you know what I mean.

Take someone else with you and enjoy, and then just do something else special with your friend :)

#17 Drat

Posted 24 April 2019 - 06:34 PM

I'd happily go twice. I've seen some musicals 3-4 times.

#18 Chocolate Addict

Posted 24 April 2019 - 10:16 PM

I think theater is a lot different to movies. With theater there is so much to see and take in that sometimes you need to go back a second time and see what you missed.

I wouldn't talk to your friend til after her daughter takes her and then just straight out ask if she wants to see it again.

If not, go with someone else.

#19 Indefinable

Posted 24 April 2019 - 11:04 PM

Are you close to the daughter as well? Is there any option to change the date of the tickets and all go together (with another person your bestie is close to)?

Failing that I would change the date you're asking her to save and do something different with her.

#20 CallMeFeral

Posted 24 April 2019 - 11:54 PM

I can't imagine wanting to see most musicals twice within a week. I've only rarely wanted to or seen something twice, and that was a few months apart and because the Keating musical was amazing.

Maybe first scope out whether she's the twice type. Like "have you ever watched a musical twice, would you?" and make up some spurious scenario about a colleague who went to see something twice. See what her comments are and go from there.

#21 Holidayromp

Posted 25 April 2019 - 07:24 AM

Knowing what you know now I would see if someone else can go with you or sell the tickets.

No matter how much I enjoy a musical or show or whatever it is live I don’t think I could face seeing it again in such short space of time.

Plus you are putting your friend in an awful position whilst she may put in a brave face at your ‘surprise’ but she may not want to go again and will suffer in silence.

#22 Octopodes

Posted 25 April 2019 - 07:37 AM

She's not putting her anywhere, it was an honest mistake. A lovely, thoughtful gesture, which just so happens to be the same thing the daughter thought to do. You make it sound like the OP caused the double up deliberately.

Any event involving gifts from multiple people risks receiving duplicate gifts, this is no different. I would give the tickets as planned and just explain you didn't know the daughter had bought tickets to the same event at the time of purchase. Leave it up to the friend to decide what to do with the extra ticket/s. She may prefer to go with her friend instead of her child.

#23 Mrs Zee

Posted 25 April 2019 - 07:52 AM

This thread is weird.

OP I'd just tell her on the 5th and give her the choice. I'm sure you can find someone else to take if she says she doesn't want to go.

#24 casime

Posted 25 April 2019 - 08:24 AM

I'd be so touched that someone was so thoughtful to buy me a gift, that I would happily go twice.  

But I've seen Les Mis 24 times, and many other musicals multiple times as well, so seeing something more than once wouldn't bother me.  You can get so much from live theatre and there is often so much going on that there's always more to get from the show.

#25 Heather11

Posted 25 April 2019 - 09:55 AM

View PostMrs Zee, on 25 April 2019 - 07:52 AM, said:

This thread is weird.

OP I'd just tell her on the 5th and give her the choice. I'm sure you can find someone else to take if she says she doesn't want to go.

Yes. I thought I must of been missing something.  Particularly when others were commenting on possibly spoiling the daughter's surprise.  I don't understand how it will be spoiled.  The daughter is taking her mum before the OP is even going to tell her about the tickets she has.




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