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Won't wear nappies wont wee on the loo

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#1 cinnamonnutmeg

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:08 AM

DD turns 3 in a week and a bit and has decided she wants to be like her cousin and friend and not wear nappies. Awesome! We have talked about it a bit lately to try and coax her and we're happy to restart toilet training.

Problem is she is unable to wee on the toilet seat. We have the steps and small seat for her but she CANNOT wee. She held it for HOURS yesterday then finally peed in the bath. She is currently busting for a wee but cannot seem to do it on the loo. She is refusing to put on a nappy to the point of hysterics.

What do I do? Keep persevering? Last time she lost interest but she seems determined this time. We have smartie bribes for successful wees, but I also have a 3 month old and can't always check and she is 100% lying when she tells me she's peed when she hasn't (she can get on, off, get toilet paper all on her own. This girl has always been independent).

I've looked online but nothing seems to have the right info for us specifically.

I feel like the 3 options are:
Making her go back into nappies
Persevere with the toilet and suck up the accidents
Switch to a potty temporarily

Does anyone have any suggestions?

#2 Caribou

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:16 AM

Switch to the potty. Build up the confidence. Purchase a few toilet books. I like pirate Pete goes to the potty, no more nappies, and even firefighters need the toilet.

Goal is to make her relaxed enough to pee in potty, so read these books when she’s on the potty.

#3 Lady Gray

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:17 AM

As much as I hate pottys that what we're using as my kid hates using the toilet.  She's now toilet trained and if you had asked me a few weeks ago, I didn't think we'd ever get here.  She just turned three as well.

I've found that if we go to the toilet together (or I pretend to) that helps more than bribes.

#4 Quay11

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:21 AM

We went through this with DD when she was 2. I actually have no advice but just wanted you to know you're not alone. We ended up with one long frustrating year!

Anyway she started with a potty and she watched us use the toilet a few times but mostly there was just a lot of weeing in odd places and it was intensely frustrating.

You know your kid best. Once mine had gone out of nappies there was no way she would go back to them (hour long massive tantrums the one time we tried). We just rolled with it, second guessed ourselves a lot, mopped a lot and wondered how long a kid can throw a tantrum for... The hardest part was other people's houses, the airplane (thank god she held on and would use the airplane toilet seat), driving (pulling over and weeing behind trees.... sigh) and shops (left a full trolley once to race her to the toilets). From memory there was a long session of hand holding while she got used to the toilet...

#5 Quay11

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:22 AM

Should add the second child I bribed with jelly beans and that was quite successful.

#6 EmmDasher

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:31 AM

Potty and positive reinforcement eg. Stamp/sticker per wee. EB loves to hate potties but it was essential for one of my kids.

#7 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:35 AM

A potty was useful for us.

#8 seayork2002

Posted 10 April 2019 - 11:47 AM

Not sure if this will help but we did not actively start T with DS but every where went in the house (it was small though) he followed so when we had to go to the toilet ourselves DS tagged along and started copying us, we never said a thing just just left the potty in the bathroom and he sat as I did and when DH sat/stood he just copied us.

He just took it from there - as you have started not sure this would help but thought I would mention it

after a few potty sits he just pointed to the toilet and wanted us to put him on.

#9 PrincessPeach

Posted 10 April 2019 - 01:44 PM

I'd give a potty a try - we have the cheapest one you can get from big w, it's easy to clean.

I gave the stubborn little mr an ultimatum - either he used the potty/toliet & would get an m&m or back into nappies he would go.

He chose the toilet & never looked back.

I still was cleaning up puddles occasionally, because he was too tired to remember or couldn't make it in time, but it gave him the power of choice - which helped.

#10 Mumma bug

Posted 10 April 2019 - 02:05 PM

I too toileted trained my 3 year DD while I had a 3 month old. She was scared of the toilet so we used a potty. It was actually really convenient. She could get herself on and off while I was feeding the baby or putting her down for a nap.

#11 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 10 April 2019 - 02:05 PM

Try a potty and a box of smarties. DS1 hated the toilet, he was much more relaxed on a potty. And a few smarties as a bribe always helps.

(Oops, you already have the smarties, never mind that bit)

Edited by ~LemonMyrtle~, 10 April 2019 - 02:07 PM.

#12 Mollycoddle

Posted 10 April 2019 - 02:10 PM

Do you watch her?  The less of a deal you make of it, the better.  I would leave her to it in the bathroom.

#13 Moukmouk

Posted 10 April 2019 - 02:11 PM

Try the potty. And mini M&Ms - smaller than smarties so you can have TWO if you wee in the potty.

#14 BrainFart

Posted 10 April 2019 - 03:03 PM

We offered a smartie for trying, even if it resulted in nothing it atleast gave regular opportunity to be sitting on the loo..

Also upp’d the smartie to jelly babies or let them choose when we shopped

Edited by BrainFart, 10 April 2019 - 03:04 PM.

#15 BusbyWilkes

Posted 10 April 2019 - 03:45 PM

Does she know to try to push a wee out? I know a couple of kids (all girls) who thought sitting on the toilet would make their wee happen.
Ping pong balls in the toilet (draw a face on it first) are often use to encourage little boys to aim better when toileting, but I have also used them with girls. Only you will know if your child will think this is a great game or completely gross!

#16 blimkybill

Posted 10 April 2019 - 04:03 PM

She is nearly there, she just needs to learn how to let the wee flow on demand.  I would use a potty for sure. I got through this issue with one of mine by having the potty freely available and encouraging them to watch Playschool on the potty. Just until they knew how to let the wee go.

#17 Mumma bug

Posted 10 April 2019 - 06:02 PM

This may sounds a little crazy, but in the first couple of days with my second DD my Mum turned the tap on while she sat on the toilet to get her started

#18 BBC

Posted 10 April 2019 - 06:47 PM

Also chiming in to suggest a potty. Much less scary, no water at the bottom and closer to the ground.

#19 cinnamonnutmeg

Posted 10 April 2019 - 07:42 PM

Picked up potty this afternoon, first go, instant success.

Thanks everyone. I had it in my head that a potty was a massive step backwards for some reason (as opposed to the complete nothing that was happening...). It doesn't help that all of the other kids we know are all at least 9 months older so sometimes I forget how young she actually is and where she should be at

#20 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 13 April 2019 - 04:00 PM

View Postcinnamonnutmeg, on 10 April 2019 - 07:42 PM, said:

Picked up potty this afternoon, first go, instant success.

Thanks everyone. I had it in my head that a potty was a massive step backwards for some reason (as opposed to the complete nothing that was happening...). It doesn't help that all of the other kids we know are all at least 9 months older so sometimes I forget how young she actually is and where she should be at

yay! thats great.

there can be some anti-potty people around but i loved them.

A potty can be near them when they are learning and wont make it to the toilet, a potty can go outside with them, you can take it on long road trips, you can take them camping or on holidays, you can put one in their rooms overnight when youre testing night-dryness.  They are so convenient.  sure you have to wash them out, but thats not too hard, you can get a hose that attaches to your toilet tap and hose it all into the toilet, pretty easy, easier than a poopy nappy change.

#21 FuzzyChocolateToes

Posted 13 April 2019 - 04:34 PM

Why the potty hate? The potty was essential for us. Nice and small so their feet can reach the floor and best of all totally portable so you can use it in the lounge room!

#22 Ellie bean

Posted 13 April 2019 - 10:12 PM

View PostFuzzyChocolateToes, on 13 April 2019 - 04:34 PM, said:

Why the potty hate? The potty was essential for us. Nice and small so their feet can reach the floor and best of all totally portable so you can use it in the lounge room!
As long as it’s not near the dining table ;)

Seriously though I totally agree, the potty was so helpful for both my children

#23 Caribou

Posted 14 April 2019 - 08:08 AM

We use a potty it makes complete sense. Like others said portable for this early days. It’s only short term $10 from big w and they’ll be using the main toilet in no time.

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