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#26 Orangecake

Posted 15 March 2019 - 09:46 AM

View PostJomoMum, on 15 March 2019 - 07:38 AM, said:

We’re up for a terms worth of fees in lieu of notice anyway :(

I would request this be waived.

In our situation (also small independent school) it went like this:
Us - "We have some questions about the services, support and class numbers that were stated during the enrolment process, they don't seem to exist'
School - "you're welcome to leave if you're not happy, we'll even waive the notice period"
Us - "ehrm, ok, this has been a huge inconvenience and expense for our family and child. Why not tell us the truth to begin with??!!"
School - silence and refused to discuss any further

Edited by Orangecake, 15 March 2019 - 09:48 AM.


#27 IamtheMumma

Posted 15 March 2019 - 10:00 AM

You haven't failed. You made a decision based on what you believed was right for your son with the information you had. It's not your fault, the information you were given wasn't factual.

Although, from my experience, people don't realise the depth religion goes into a person so they may have been telling you the truth (as they know it) because the school isn't as full on as what their private/homes lives might be. But it is still overwhelming for a non-religious person.

Why do you have to pay another term's worth of fees for notice? How long do they request for notice? If it is a month, give notice, move him next week as planned but pay the fees for the month.

#28 EsmeLennox

Posted 15 March 2019 - 10:14 AM

You haven’t failed. The school has. They mislead you into enrolling your child. I’d be pretty ticked off about that.

I hope your son’s transition to the new school will be smooth. Please try not to worry.

#29 nup

Posted 15 March 2019 - 10:37 AM

Adaptation is a sign of strength. Noone gets ant if this right, we are all just fumbling along doing our best. That you care and acknowledge the "error" is huge. You have seen through their misreprentation and are setting a good example for your child/Ren. Well done!

#30 JomoMum

Posted 15 March 2019 - 11:54 AM

Thank you for the encouragement.

Iamthemumma, I think you have hit the nail on the head, and perhaps to us it just seems like a lot, where to them it may just be status quo.

They require a term of notice. We’re paid until end of term 1 so I have requested this be considered sufficient.

I visited the new school this morning to hand in our enrolment papers. The K-2 Principal made herself available to meet with me and toured me around the school. She allocated his class and introduced me to his teacher as well. When I saw DS’s old bestie from daycare in the same class I just about cried. I feel like it was meant to be. They were just so genuinely caring and welcoming. No judgement or questions about why we were moving, assume it’s pretty obvious I guess. It was just such a lovely experience. And they didn’t have to be nice, it wasn’t going to get them anything. It was so much more genuine.

Edited by JomoMum, 15 March 2019 - 12:06 PM.


#31 ipsee

Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:27 PM

That is great news about a good friend in the class - that will make all the difference and you can talk it up :)

#32 j-gray

Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:45 PM

That's a great first impression of the new school OP. It sounds like you've received very fast validation of your decision, which would've been very stressful for you. When we were looking at schools for my eldest, someone said 'you'll know' when you find the right school. It was very true. Our local public school was warm and the principals and teachers have all the time in the world for their students and families.

Good on you for picking it up early and taking action !

#33 NikiOne

Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:50 PM

Glad you are feeling good about your decision.
My parents moved me just before easter in FYOS from our local (semi rural) public school to another public school on the way to dads work. I was leaving behind my best friend from kindy but the environment at that school was just not good. I was in a combined class of 60 with 2 very young first year teachers and apparently was not coping. The new school was the right choice and my younger sister followed. Back in those days it was rare to go to a public school that was not the closest one.
My first memory of the new school was going there for a visit before enrolling and being happy straight away. As a 5yo I didn't understand exactly why I was being moved but I did understand that it was a better place for me.

#34 robhat

Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:54 PM

You have NOT failed. You did what you thought was best at the time with the information you had. Now that your know more you realise you need to change that decision. That's not a fail.

While it may not be what you want, changing schools early in the year isn't the killer you may think. My son has just had a new child start in his class this week, grade 3. Happens a lot in public schools. Just stay calm and positive and your child will most likely take their cue from you. At his age he'd have no idea that it's not normal to change schools after such a short period anyway! It's way better to do it now than later.

And for the record, I wish people would stop assuming that there is something better about small schools. Often there is not. True, you can have a smaller, nice little community where everyone knows each other, but as anyone who has lived in a country town will tell you, this can also suck, especially if you're a tad different and don't fit in! Sometimes it's easier to find your sort of people in the bigger crowd! Our school has gone from being small/average sized to quite large. I have found the growth to be better. There are more resources, more varying teachers with varying skill sets allowing for more learning opportunities. More kids means more chances of my kids finding like minded peers. Basically I think it's better.

#35 Mollycoddle

Posted 15 March 2019 - 01:27 PM

View PostAliasMater, on 14 March 2019 - 10:21 PM, said:

All the Christian schools near me are scary fundamentalist. We have one about 200m walk away. I figured they were all like this.

When the gay marriage vote was happening the principal of our local one had parents come down to the school on a weekend and walk around the perimeter of the school grounds praying.

ETA this wasn't a Catholic school, it was an independent school which is a whole nother level of preaching.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 15 March 2019 - 03:49 PM.


#36 Steph19

Posted 15 March 2019 - 01:35 PM

I think you'll find this is very common and you have not failed. We chose a public school for DD this year (FYOS) nd I'm glad we did because friends who's kids started in Catholic are starting to freak at the amount of religious education and lack of physical education(no real focus on the importance of kids getting active, not sure if this is standard but this was the issue I had with our local Catholic who had no grass area for kids to play on).
DD has a few kids who have older brothers and sisters at her school who started in religious schools and ended up moving. No big deal. You tried, it wasn't for you, move him early and he'll do just great!

#37 JomoMum

Posted 15 March 2019 - 03:10 PM

Robhat I feel like that was us .. DS is an anxious little kid and we thought we were doing the right thing for him. But having been to the school today, and it’s a big school with 700 students K-6, the infants area is sectioned off and sort of self contained, with beautiful little classrooms that feel very home like.

DH gave our written notice to the office this afternoon and the Principal asked him if had some time to talk. Basically he asked us to reconsider and think about it over the weekend (like we haven’t already exhausted the “thinking about it” already). Fair enough I thought.

But then he told DH that DS was in a really good reading group and didn’t want his education to go backwards by moving...

As soon as he told me that, I mentally checked out. It’s really confirmed for me we have made the right decision.

#38 Riotproof

Posted 15 March 2019 - 03:13 PM

What a stupid thing for the principal to say.

#39 BECZ

Posted 15 March 2019 - 04:01 PM

View PostJomoMum, on 15 March 2019 - 03:10 PM, said:

Robhat I feel like that was us .. DS is an anxious little kid and we thought we were doing the right thing for him. But having been to the school today, and it’s a big school with 700 students K-6, the infants area is sectioned off and sort of self contained, with beautiful little classrooms that feel very home like.

DH gave our written notice to the office this afternoon and the Principal asked him if had some time to talk. Basically he asked us to reconsider and think about it over the weekend (like we haven’t already exhausted the “thinking about it” already). Fair enough I thought.

But then he told DH that DS was in a really good reading group and didn’t want his education to go backwards by moving...

As soon as he told me that, I mentally checked out. It’s really confirmed for me we have made the right decision.

You far from failed.  I stupidly left my kids at our local Catholic school for 7 years.  I was constantly told by others to give it 1 more year, it will get better!

Our Catholic school even gave us free fees, just to convince us to stay!  Our school was well over populated and so I. Not sure why they were so determined to get us to stay.  Our kids were all in the top few of their classes and a few people suggested that it was to push the schools grades up, but who knows.  The principal didn’t like me much towards the end and still kept convincing us to stay.  We were low income and did fit into their category for fee assistance, but could afford it otherwise,  it didn’t break any rules.

So it actually costs us (a lot) more to send our kids to a public school, but still so mad at myself that I didn’t do it sooner or even more so, stand up to MIL from the start and send them to the public school like I wanted to in the first place.  Now my kids are not only having to resettle they are playing catchup!

#40 IamtheMumma

Posted 15 March 2019 - 04:57 PM

View PostMollycoddle, on 15 March 2019 - 01:27 PM, said:

When the gay marriage vote was happening the principal of our local one had parents come down to the school on a weekend and walk around the perimeter of the school grounds praying.

ETA this wasn't a Catholic school, it was an independent school which is a whole nother level of preaching.

Invisible prayer force field to keep the gay at bay?

#41 JomoMum

Posted 06 April 2019 - 06:29 AM

Just thought I’d check back in. DS has been at new school for two weeks now.

How old school was great about us leaving - his teacher was genuinely sad to see DS go, but was very understanding of our reasons and made the whole last day less awkward for us. They agreed to waive any further fees after I played a guilt card ..

He was very anxious, of course, his first few days, but seems to have settled in well. From what he tells me, he’s a bit bored in class, and tends to be by himself sometimes at lunch, but it’s so early days, and it doesn’t seem to be bothering him much, or at all.

His new teacher seems more “my door is always closed” lol. But I’ll make an appointment to see her in a few weeks in Term 2 to see how it’s all going.




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