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Lost 16kgs....put most of it back on


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#1 RemyBlue

Posted 01 February 2019 - 08:05 PM

So as my title says I lost 16kgs. It took me around 7 months to get that far and I only had about 6kgs more to lose to get to my goal weight. It was so difficult. I was so controlled with my eating. I was exercising regularly, but not strenuously due to a chronic illness I have, and it was working for me. I honestly don’t know how I did but each day I woke up determined and kept going and saw fantastic results.

Then over the Christmas school holidays I’ve put most of it back on. After 7 months losing all that weight I’ve gone so far back in just a few weeks. My asthma is bad again, heartburn from poor eating, my skin is looking horrible. I’ve lost all that energy I had and even my mood has taken a huge knock.

I keep trying to restart myself back on the weight loss journey but I just can’t stick with it. So each day that passes I’m going backwards further and further. It’s so frustrating. I want to get back to the good habits I’d set before I’m back to needing to lose the entire 16kgs again.

Everyone had been commenting at the end of the last year how good I was looking. It was very noticeable that I’d lost a lot of weight at that point. Now going back to school etc I feel so embarrassed because it’s obvious I’ve put so much weight back on. I feel like a failure.

I’m eating poorly. I’m eating heaps. I’m eating for the sake of eating. I’m not hungry and I don’t want the food. As I’m putting it in my mouth I’m thinking to myself you don’t want this and regret it already but still I don’t stop. I suppose the last three days I’ve been binge eating...which I’ve never done before. But I’ve been eating copious amounts of food. I need to reset my self control somehow!

I’m not sure why I’m posting. I’m sorry this has been so long. I’m just so frustrated and upset with myself. I had done so well and I felt really good. Maybe just to vent a bit, put it out there to help me try to work through why. Perhaps others have been there? I’d love to hear from anyone who might have been in a similar situation. I’m so disappointed in myself.

I don’t know if I’ve got another 7 months in me to lose it all again. I had been hoping once I got to my goal weight that the maintaining part might be easier because I’d set new habits and wouldn’t need to be as strict. Ugh.

Thanks to anyone who read my pity party story :)

Edited by RemyBlue, 01 February 2019 - 08:09 PM.


#2 cvbn

Posted 01 February 2019 - 08:23 PM

I am sorry, the holidays are hard for weight gain. I thought I was being careful and still gained 3kg.

x

#3 lizzzard

Posted 01 February 2019 - 08:24 PM

Oh Remy, I'm sorry you are so stuck :(

Do you remember what the positive trigger was for getting 'on' the wagon last time? Is there any way to repeat that?

I find loneliness is my biggest negative trigger. Surrounding myself with friends really helps me focus on life rather than food. Could you possibly reach to some friends for support?

#4 Sweetpea11

Posted 01 February 2019 - 08:29 PM

Just wanted to send hugs, I know how hard it can be.
I’ve yo-yo’ed with weight myself, in fact this time last year I had just had my 3rd baby and I was quite a bit thinner then than I am now. Surely there’s no logic in that, but that’s where I am somehow.

Don’t beat yourself up about it, and don’t worry about what other people think. Most will have struggled with their size or shape in some form or other anyway.

Just get back on the horse at your own pace and be kind to yourself xx

#5 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 01 February 2019 - 08:30 PM

I hear you. It's so hard. I'm personally focusing on fitness goals rather than weight because it works better for me.
Good luck

#6 Jem80

Posted 01 February 2019 - 08:32 PM

I hear you. I'm sorry you're in a disappointing place with your nutritional choices. I have no advice as I'm in much the same boat, except Ive never lost weight, only put on

#7 RemyBlue

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:03 PM

View Postlizzzard, on 01 February 2019 - 08:24 PM, said:

Oh Remy, I'm sorry you are so stuck :(

Do you remember what the positive trigger was for getting 'on' the wagon last time? Is there any way to repeat that?

I find loneliness is my biggest negative trigger. Surrounding myself with friends really helps me focus on life rather than food. Could you possibly reach to some friends for support?

What motivated me last year was that my health was really suffering. I couldn’t cough without triggering an asthma attack. Being overweight was finally taking a real toll on my health. I was the heaviest I’d ever weighed. I will try to use that again because I’m in much the same situation now.

#8 RemyBlue

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:05 PM

Thank you all for the kind words. I honestly got teary coming back in here and reading everyone’s replies. I can honestly feel the genuine empathy and it’s so uplifting!

#9 night jasmine

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:07 PM

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s so hard to stay motivated when it feels like you’ve gone backwards, and holidays make it easy to go backwards. But it’s only temporary. You’ve lost the weight before and you can do it again, it will happen.

#10 RemyBlue

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:13 PM

View PostSweetpea11, on 01 February 2019 - 08:29 PM, said:

Just wanted to send hugs, I know how hard it can be.
I’ve yo-yo’ed with weight myself, in fact this time last year I had just had my 3rd baby and I was quite a bit thinner then than I am now. Surely there’s no logic in that, but that’s where I am somehow.

Don’t beat yourself up about it, and don’t worry about what other people think. Most will have struggled with their size or shape in some form or other anyway.

Just get back on the horse at your own pace and be kind to yourself xx

Thank you sweetpea for being so kind. I understand how you feel. I weigh more at the moment than I did in any of my pregnancies.

The biggest struggle for me at the moment is trying to get my head around why I won’t stop eating all of a sudden! Even though I want to stop, know I should stop, remind myself in the moment to stop, but I still eat! I’m drinking lots of water and that really helped over the 7 months I lost the weight. I have all the tricks and tips I used, tried and tested but I can’t put them back into place for more than half a day at the moment.

#11 Oriental lily

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:19 PM

I am a yo yo dieter as well .

Sux.

Last year I gave birth in jan . By end of June I has lost 15kg . Then I went out to a lovely restaurant and had a lovely meal as a treat .

It broke my ‘zone’

By the end of year I had gained my 15kg and some ‘bonus’ ones for good measure .

So now back at square one .

My baby turned 1 last week . Since the kids go to back to school I am trying to find my ‘zone again’.

On my second day of health kick and trying to feel strong !

I was once talking with a fellow yo yo dieter who was currently at her ‘good weight’ .

She was sort of philosophical about it , knowing that from past history she would probably regain it . That there is never going to be a massive moment we’re you will never regain the weight .

To just see your weight as something that flactuates back and forward . Losing weight is hard , keeping the weight off is hard . Be kind to yourself and just accept it’s just part of living .

Edited by Oriental lily, 01 February 2019 - 09:22 PM.


#12 Prancer is coming

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:19 PM

I hear you.  So hard to keep motivated.

I think it is important to view it as a slip up rather than a failure.  You have done it before and can do it again.  You know you feel better when you eat well.  I find the first few days eating better the worst, then it does not feel as bad.  So can you commit to just 3 days of eating well,and then reassess!

I also find when I eat heaps of crap, I can usually lose 2 kms in the first week. Like it is weight thst has not permanently settled on my body.  And easy to feel a nice boost seeing results early in the scales that boost me further.

I think lots of people yo yo with weight and most of the time people only notice themselves, not others, fluctuating weights.  I think most people struggle over Christmas.

#13 BBC

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:37 PM

I suspect you are reacting to the knowledge that you soon will go back to restricting your eating again, and though consciously you want to lose the weight, subconsciously you don't want to be using willpower and missing out on eating things you like just yet.

I do this heaps - I'll really diet tomorrow, so today I'd better have that takeaway because tomorrow I won't be able to eat it for a really long time.

I wonder if a weekend fast might help you hit the reset button? Make you feel powerful and in control again?

Don't worry what people at school will think - they are all too busy setting up their classes and many of them gained over Christmas too. I find it much harder to eat well in the breaks as there are more opportunities and I have less distractions.

Edited by BBC, 01 February 2019 - 09:37 PM.


#14 thebabysitter

Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:39 PM

I am in the same position. Just remember you did do it once and you will do it again.

I have been consciously trying to thing about my relationship with food and why I feel the need to overeat or eat when I am not hungry. A lot of my eating is tied up to boredom so I am trying to substitute those pattens with something else. It’s a small start but I am hoping it will lead me back to where I was which was.

The other thing that I consoled myself with was that I had a great holiday period. I didn’t deny myself and yes I am paying for it now but I had fun with my family and friends and at the end of the day that is important too.

#15 RemyBlue

Posted 01 February 2019 - 10:08 PM

Prancer is coming and BBC I think setting a mini goal of a few days or a fast is a good idea. I’ll do that over the weekend and Monday and report back.

Thank you everyone for the encouragement, sharing your own experiences, tips and ideas and even just those who said they hear me. It’s meant so much knowing I’m not struggling through this on my own, wondering what’s wrong with me! It’s easy to convince yourself that you’re the only one with these weaknesses. I certainly feel less frustrated and very supported.

#16 Whattothink

Posted 01 February 2019 - 10:20 PM

You need to take strength from the amazing job you’ve already done!
Maybe look at a different type of eating pattern. The one you were in is not going to be sustainable again by the sound of it.
Look up the starch diet - in a nut shell - carb with every meal + fruit and veg, no dairy or meat. It is very doable because you’re never hungry.
Lots and lots of free resources online!
Good luck, I’ve no doubt you can do it!!

#17 Whattothink

Posted 01 February 2019 - 10:21 PM

https://www.drmcdoug...starch-staples/

#18 c.sanders

Posted 01 February 2019 - 11:50 PM

This is just my opinion on what's happening to you.  But the way I see it is that your body thinks that you are a certain weight and this is normal for your body. When you rapidly lose weight like you did it's very common for it to all return because your body is trying to return to what it thinks is your normal weight.

This has happened to me a few times.


Anyway, I am now trying to lose about 15 to 20kgs but I am trying to do it very very slowly.  It takes longer and I don't see a difference but the scales have told me that it's actually staying off and even though I binged during Xmas my body has not regained the previous weight so I genuinely feel like its working. In the last 10weeks I've lost about 5kgs and kept it off.

I don't know if these things will work for you. But this is what I've been doing.

I'm not good at committing to exercise so I haven't tried.  I do try to walk more but hasn't been great.
I tried the 5:2 and 16:8 diets but couldn't do it.

So what's worked for me is having one normal day and one much lower calorie day.
So yesterday I ate as normal,  today I had a much smaller amount of food. I've also tried just to do a small liquid breakfast most mornings like up-n-go and at least on the days I'm eating less. Overall this has really worked for me and really reduced my appetite overall too.

I hope this helps and I hope you figure out what works for you. Don't give up and most importantly, be kind to yourself!

#19 MissMilla

Posted 01 February 2019 - 11:51 PM

View PostBBC, on 01 February 2019 - 09:37 PM, said:

I suspect you are reacting to the knowledge that you soon will go back to restricting your eating again, and though consciously you want to lose the weight, subconsciously you don't want to be using willpower and missing out on eating things you like just yet.

I do this heaps - I'll really diet tomorrow, so today I'd better have that takeaway because tomorrow I won't be able to eat it for a really long time.

I wonder if a weekend fast might help you hit the reset button? Make you feel powerful and in control again?

Don't worry what people at school will think - they are all too busy setting up their classes and many of them gained over Christmas too. I find it much harder to eat well in the breaks as there are more opportunities and I have less distractions.

I think this could be why.
When i wanted to lose weight after my second pregnancy i tried 5:2. The fast days were very easy, but on the normal days i couldnt just eat normal. I was binge eating like crazy. Its as if my subconscious was preparing my body for the fast days. I didnt lose anything like that. And i had the same as you: as i was putting food in my mounth i was already regretting it, but i just couldnt stop.

I changed my diet after and restricted overall calories together with 16:8 and that worked a lot better for me. I got to my goal weight and even though i increased my daily calories now, i still watch what i eat in order to maintain.

Its really really hard and i feel for you!
I think its important to remember that a big part of losing/gaining weight happens in our head. And our mind loves to screw us over :(

Like pp said, dont look at it as failure! Its a setback, but youve done it before and you can do it again. Everyone gains over the holidays.

The thing is, maintaining is not necessarily easier than losing. When i started i cut all unhealthy food out of my diet and i really restricted sugar and carbs. After a while i didnt even want to eat these things anymore. Now that i allow more calories and i eat chocolate here and there i find myself craving it all the time. I had no such cravings anymore a couple months into the strict diet, so once i started it went really well. Until reintroduced the unhealthy food.. it feels harder now, because im an all or nothing person i guess.

#20 reesan

Posted 02 February 2019 - 10:12 AM

I've lost 22kg over the last 18 months. I've spent a lot of that time maintaining, I'll lose for a while then maintain for a while. I'm a big foodie so I guess I'm on the hunt for the right balance of health, the joy of food, and my weight. I've been doing a lot of meal prep the whole time which was great and last year ate a lot more vegan and vegetarian. In Jan of this year I did vegan January and ate heaps of amazing food, trying lots of different recipes and eating tonnes of carbs which was a lot of fun. I maintained due to the lower calorie density overall even though I did have quite a bit of processed stuff. Whole foods plant based is a way of eating that offers a lot of promise for health and weight control I reckon so I'll be looking to try to find a good balance of mostly vegan eating with majority unprocessed and reducing oils.

I really like the loseit subreddit on Reddit and read it everyday. It supports evidence based weight loss through calories in calories out so it's compatible with any way of eating. I do find personally that stuff with white flour and sugar makes me prone to binge so I try to have a plan in place if I'm going to make something with it!

Anyway I feel you. Maintenance is harder than losing so ideally you're loseit plan should have a big component of a way of eating you like and stand behind.

My friend recently lost a lot of weight very quickly on Jenny Craig (where they supply the food). She's feeling very smug (I get it!!). But I'm not sure she's been equipped with what she needs to maintain it with her own food.

#21 .Jerry.

Posted 02 February 2019 - 10:19 AM

I’ve lost 16kg since May and determined to keep it off and lose 4 more. I plateaued over Xmas. Trying to keep on track.

I recommended calorie counting but also keeping perspective and not restricting too much.
I love the info on Diet vs Disease with Joe Leech. He’s on Instagram and facet. So balanced. And shows you can have treat food and still lose weight.

#22 Rainyeyes

Posted 02 February 2019 - 10:37 AM

I am currently in the exact same position as you, I get so annoyed that I was within a couple of kg of my goal weight and then boom back up and then some.

I defiantly agree with BBC and that is my biggest issue that because I want to get back on track I binge then diet for a few days to a couple of weeks fall of the wagon and then start the process all over again.

I am also a big believer in that my body has a weight it likes to be at as even once I got over that just cutting out the cycle of binging but not eating healthy my weight slowing retuned to that weight which was nice but now its been almost 6 months of losing few gaining a few, I am so sick of seeing the same number on that scale!

I have no advice, but I am starting again and in the stage of losing the first few and hopeful that with a fortnightly meal plan DH and I made that not planning and constantly thinking about what I am eating will help and this is sort of what I did the first time.

#23 PizzaSteve

Posted 02 February 2019 - 11:57 AM

Hi, I have also done the exact same thing over Christmas. So annoyed with myself but exactly as PP said once I stopped restricting it was like my mind was freed to let me binge on sugar and other bad food.

Honestly, I don’t want to be this focused on what I eat. I wish I could not have to stop myself reaching for something. But I also am not happy at this weight so do need to try and set up better habits.

I am trying 16:8 at the moment and that is going ok - hopefully that is a more sustainable plan for me. Good luck - I know how hard it is!

#24 Feral33

Posted 02 February 2019 - 12:16 PM

When you lose weight, the levels of more than 10 hormones change that increase hunger. This stays for 6+ years after losing weight (probably forever).

https://www.nejm.org...6/nejmoa1105816

This may not be helpful but at least you know why you are eating even if you don't "want" to.

#25 kpingitquiet

Posted 02 February 2019 - 12:18 PM

I'm sorry you'e having a rough time. I gained back my recent loss over Xmas as well but am now in week 4 of straight losses and it's mostly looking at my own triggers and working with them. I have changed pretty much everything I was doing.

I have cut out weekday breakfast as eating early in the day just sends me spiraling. I've added a ritual treat to my day (I am very ritual and reward-based in my thinking) where I walk to a nearby juice bar at 1130am and buy a green smoothie daily, usually ones with very little fruit unless I'm particularly hungry then I get the one that has half a banana in it. Then for lunch I have 90g of protein (tuna salad, chicken salad or homemade hummus) with crunchy lettuce leaf cups, then a small container of grapes or a whole nectarine or something. For some reason, this routine keeps me on track and I don't get tempted by the candy bowls and cakes and coffee runs at work.

My food during work hours adds up to about 400ish calories and is very healthy. Dinner is, within reason, whatever I want. Another trigger for me is takeout when tired, so insted we have Marley Spoon delivered for 3 weeknights and they range from 500-800 cals. The other weeknights I keep it simple with chicken or fish and veggies, hamburgers maybe once a week cookied on the grill outside and served with salad. I usually have a glass of wine if I have room in my day, and I drink a coffee (full strength) with milk at home in the morning and at night (decaf). If it's a super low calorie day and I'm still hungry (usually when work was too busy to go for my smoothie), I'll have a single scoop of ice cream for dessert.

The other day, I broke my pattern and had a couple empanadas from the central market to "break my fast" at noon, and I had horrible stomach cramps for the next couple hours. Lesson learned! No more. I notice my dinner helpings are smaller, too, though I'm not really sure why!

I don't count calories on weekends, and I don't skip breakfast if the kids want to eat together (today I made us all french toast and kiwi fruit!). I stick to 3 meals and fruit but do not punish myself for my natural tendancy to eat more when I'm home vs. work. Then, Mondays morning it's back to routine!

So, all this yammering boils down to say... find your triggers, be honest with yourself, and work around/with them. For the first time in years I do not feel like I'm suffering at all to maintain my routine. I don't feel pressured or deprived. Who knows how long it'll keep working but I'm happy to do this forever, as I really like it!




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