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Child Support Exemption


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#1 MissBehaving

Posted 13 January 2019 - 01:49 PM

Has anyone successfully gained a CSA exemption (from claiming child support to still get FTB A/B) using the "Risk of harmful or disruptive effects" reason?

How serious does harm need to be?

#2 born.a.girl

Posted 13 January 2019 - 01:56 PM

Can I suggest you put a link to your other thread, so people know just what a piece of lowlife your ex is?

I don't have any advice, but hope your little family is recovering from the trauma.

#3 Dianalynch

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:06 PM

I'm aware of many people who have received an exemption on the basis of a violent ex partner. A centrelink social worker will be able to guide you through the process.

#4 MissBehaving

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:16 PM

He's never been violent but a bully and as b.a.g. referred to, he recently withheld our 4 year old and 23 month old from me for 18 nights.

He has accused me of hiding income and so many other verbal fights over CS I'd really like it to go away.

I can live without his money but not also losing FTB, I will call CSA and Centrelink on Monday

Edited by babylove69, 13 January 2019 - 02:35 PM.


#5 born.a.girl

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:22 PM

I would call withholding children a very special kind of violence.

#6 MissBehaving

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:35 PM

I would too but it seems my ideas and the law don't always match up!

#7 BadCat

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:37 PM

.

Edited by BadCat, 23 July 2019 - 10:11 PM.


#8 MissBehaving

Posted 13 January 2019 - 04:39 PM

Thanks Fresh Start

#9 Sancti-claws

Posted 23 January 2019 - 06:20 AM

How are you travelling now, BabyLove?  And how are your kids going?

#10 Gonzy

Posted 23 January 2019 - 12:35 PM

Hi OP,

Just so I understand, you are seeking to have CSA agree that your ex does not need to pay CS without this impacting your access to FTB A and FTB B?

Is the reason you are seeking zero CS so that your ex can no longer see the kids?  You are aware that CSA do not in any way enforce the parent receiving the child support to provide access to the paying parent right?  In which case, can you not continue to have CSA paid to you for the care of your children, whilst simultaneously seeking orders to not provide access to your ex based on his behaviour over Christmas and NY?

I am just wondering why you should miss out on the financial support when HE is the one in the wrong?

Edited by Gonzy, 23 January 2019 - 12:36 PM.


#11 MissBehaving

Posted 23 January 2019 - 08:24 PM

Hi Gonzy, I believe if he didn't have to pay CS he wouldn't have any relationship with the kids at all, let alone be insisting on 50/50. It's not "right" to let him out of his financial responsibility but I don't need it and it's better for my kids not to be exposed to his life and his "love".

Sancti-claws, thanks for asking.

I'm much better emotionally, it's going to be a while before I feel good physically - I do not recommend the mega-stress diet, I lost 12kg in 18 days.

The kids are still recovering steadily  (even after having to go to ex for 1 night over weekend) and we've got good support around us.

I'm disillusioned with the legal system or just feeling like the world isn't as fair as it should be or something.

Having a round-table meeting with ex and solicitors soon to either work out a final Parenting Plan or Consent Orders but I don't understand what I get for all the money orders cost.

For instance, if ex withholds again, even with orders I still need to go to court for a Recovery Order don't I?

#12 ~Kay~

Posted 23 January 2019 - 08:54 PM

Yes you're right. I had court orders and had to go back to court for a recovery order but that's in force for 12 months.

#13 WaitForMe

Posted 23 January 2019 - 09:10 PM

I just read your other thread, wasn't sure if you were still reading it or not.

Is there any chance he could have access to your email?

#14 MissBehaving

Posted 23 January 2019 - 09:24 PM

I have suspected he has access to something digital of mine but no conclusive evidence.

#15 HippyDippyBaloney

Posted 23 January 2019 - 11:14 PM

I have a child support exemption. Mine was granted very easily and will be lifelong unless I choose to drop it.

I spoke to a social worker at Centrelink to have mine granted. Let me know if you have any questions, I will be happy to assist if I can.

#16 HippyDippyBaloney

Posted 23 January 2019 - 11:17 PM

Oh and for what it’s worth, there are very few people in my life that really ‘get’ what the exemption is there for and why it’s necessary. I’m constantly told I should go after all the money I can. It’s only really the people who have had experience with family law that really understand why it is so important for us, and these people all strongly advocate i keep it in place.

#17 nup

Posted 24 January 2019 - 07:30 AM

Babylove the big 4 banks via the ABA have announced quite awhile ago that they are giving financial assistance to customers who experience DV. I have not had luck with it but part of the package is to provide a new phone.

Additionally I have a DV contact who provides tech advice but found their knowledge limited and found it more worthwhile to pay for a private service. The private provider linked me with a private security firm who can do almost anything. The fees weren't exorbitant for the servicea they could provide. Please keep yourself as safe as possible.

#18 nup

Posted 24 January 2019 - 07:32 AM

Hippy dippy can we apply for it once CSA has been assessed? I'm already in CSA collect thinking I was protecting us all but it's a disaster that he has manipulated anyway.

OP it's done via the Centrelink social workers. They assess each case but it's not too confronting. I find Centrelink workers to be generally the most helpful and respectful

Edited by nup, 24 January 2019 - 07:35 AM.


#19 MissBehaving

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:17 AM

The social worker I spoke to said I can cancel the CSA assessment once I have the exemption, it doesn't matter if you already have an assessment nup.

My solicitor doesn't think it will help in my case, ex will just find something else to bully me about.

#20 Nobodyelse

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:20 AM

View PostGonzy, on 23 January 2019 - 12:35 PM, said:


I am just wondering why you should miss out on the financial support when HE is the one in the wrong?

This is a very utopian way of looking at financial support. Often men like the OP's ex will use child support as a weapon against the ex. Foregoing their money takes away their power.

Is it right? Nope.
Does it suck b@lls? Totally.

But I've seen far too many women held hostage to their ex's cash to believe in taking it just because it is 'right' for men to pay for their kids. Sometimes, what is right and what you can live with are at opposite ends.

#21 nup

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:22 AM

I agree with your solicitor and am holding my course so to speak. The need to destroy seems pretty much insatiable. My ex seems overwhelmed by his humiliation that his "perfect" veneer of a life has been destroyed but can't link any if it to his choices. He just talks about his humiliation when I talk to him. The blame and hate is awful and he has a crowd of supporters. I can't imagine living this forever.

#22 nup

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:25 AM

View PostNobodyelse, on 24 January 2019 - 08:20 AM, said:



This is a very utopian way of looking at financial support. Often men like the OP's ex will use child support as a weapon against the ex. Foregoing their money takes away their power.

Is it right? Nope.
Does it suck b@lls? Totally.

But I've seen far too many women held hostage to their ex's cash to believe in taking it just because it is 'right' for men to pay for their kids. Sometimes, what is right and what you can live with are at opposite ends.

I don't agree that it is utopian but under the current social model it can seem that way. There are ideas about how separation with children should happen. Then there's the reality of violent men supported in their violence while women are held responsible.

#23 MissBehaving

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:36 AM

View Postnup, on 24 January 2019 - 08:22 AM, said:

I agree with your solicitor and am holding my course so to speak. The need to destroy seems pretty much insatiable. My ex seems overwhelmed by his humiliation that his "perfect" veneer of a life has been destroyed but can't link any if it to his choices. He just talks about his humiliation when I talk to him. The blame and hate is awful and he has a crowd of supporters. I can't imagine living this forever.

I hear you, that is exactly how my ex is and the mistress-turned-partner is worse, a very toxic adult in my kids lives.

#24 Nobodyelse

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:37 AM

View Postnup, on 24 January 2019 - 08:25 AM, said:

I don't agree that it is utopian but under the current social model it can seem that way. There are ideas about how separation with children should happen. Then there's the reality of violent men supported in their violence while women are held responsible.

That's kind of what I meant. We have this idea of the best way to separate with kids and often the reality just doesn't fit in with it.

I mean, money is power, right. It always has been. Be it Trump levels of corruption or the 8yo trying to convince their brother to do their chores for 50c less than he gets for doing them. It is an easy and uniformally accessable means to control people.

So this idea that the mother should fight for it because she's entitled to it or deserves it is rose coloured because sometimes freedom from it is far more valuable.

#25 StillDreaming

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:39 AM

With the amount of money some ex’s are told to pay the whole thing is often a joke anyway. I understand wanting an exemption. My goal is to not need xp’s money because he also uses it as a power thing. It annoys me but I refuse to mention it to him because I think he does it looking for a reaction. It has and always will be ‘his money’ in his eyes. It was never mine despite my paying 50% of everything while we were together (and also while I was on maternity leave no less...). Sorry to go off on a tangent... I just know from my experience (which was not as serious as yours) that removing the ex from as much as possible is best option as far as taking back control.

That’s great that you don’t need his money. I hope all works out with FTB and you can live life without him controlling things - or the threat of a repeat of the stunt he pulled over Christmas.




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