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About to start school and still not reliably toilet trained


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42 replies to this topic

#26 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 05 March 2019 - 08:41 PM

View Postlaridae, on 05 March 2019 - 06:30 PM, said:

Well, she's been at school for a month now. There has only been one day with no accidents (yesterday). However she made up for that with 3 today. It's actually even worse than she was at daycare, as there it tended to be little wees. Now it's full on floods and poo as well. After school care are threatening to kick her out. If that happens she won't be able to go to school either as we can't pick her up. I don't even know if she'd be able to go back to daycare as there may be no spaces now.
I've booked her an appointment with the gp on Thursday. I just don't know what to do.

Sorry to hear you are having these issues. I think booking with a gp is a really good first step just to make sure there aren't any underlying medical issues.

How is she otherwise finding school?  Does she like it?

#27 Jenflea

Posted 05 March 2019 - 08:45 PM

A kid I know has a watch that sets off an alarm every 2 hours to remind the child to go to the toilet. And heaven help ANY one who says he can't go when his alarm goes according to his mum.
Could you maybe use one to go off, or vibrate or something about 20 minutes before lunch?

I think it's a kid's fitbit?

#28 laridae

Posted 05 March 2019 - 08:54 PM

She loves school. No issues there. She asks to go even on the days she's not scheduled to go.
Kids Fitbit might be a good idea. DD1 used to have one (though we didn't use the alarm). She drinks a lot of water though. She not too bad at holding on in the morning but I know she wees a lot in the afternoon. She has gymnastics on a Friday afternoon. She went before we left, once during her (45 minute) class, and another 2 times before we left after her class ended but before her sisters did (an extra 45 minutes). Though I think that was unusually frequent even for her.

#29 QuirkyMum

Posted 05 March 2019 - 08:56 PM

View PostJenflea, on 05 March 2019 - 08:45 PM, said:

A kid I know has a watch that sets off an alarm every 2 hours to remind the child to go to the toilet. And heaven help ANY one who says he can't go when his alarm goes according to his mum.
Could you maybe use one to go off, or vibrate or something about 20 minutes before lunch?

I think it's a kid's fitbit?
Vivofit junior is slightly more kid friendly and you can set alarms and reminders. Old versions are cheaper and do same things as new ones.

#30 Jenflea

Posted 05 March 2019 - 09:00 PM

Could she be constipated?

Has she always drunk a lot? Could it be blood sugar issues?

I think a GP sounds like a good idea first off.
Then maybe a continence clinic referral.

#31 BusbyWilkes

Posted 05 March 2019 - 09:18 PM

I'm also wondering about constipation, given your mentioning of smearing (unless that happens if she tries to wipe herself?) Often there can be hard, impacted poo in the bowel, while more loose/soft poo can seep out around it. Sorry if that's TMI! So it looks like they are going regularly, but are still constipated.
An ultrasound and then paed would be a good option. What state are you in (if you feel comfortable saying) - there may be location specific services that others could recommend.

#32 laridae

Posted 05 March 2019 - 09:21 PM

Yes, she's always drunk a lot. She's a little energiser bunny though, runs everywhere, not tired after multiple activities in the same day, won't go to to sleep at night even after a busy day.

#33 Bearynice

Posted 05 March 2019 - 09:32 PM

I think gp as first stop might be a good idea. Go to gp with a written down rough guide to a day- what she eats, how much she drinks, timing of toilet accidents

How much is she drinking?

A referral to local continence clinic could be worth discussing with gp. Even ultrasound to see what’s going on.

She could be constipated. Is there a strategy that kinder would like to trial?
Eg. Some children are terrified of going to the toilet in open plan toilets and can use a little screen to provide some privacy ...

#34 laridae

Posted 05 March 2019 - 09:35 PM

View PostQuirkyMum, on 05 March 2019 - 08:56 PM, said:


Vivofit junior is slightly more kid friendly and you can set alarms and reminders. Old versions are cheaper and do same things as new ones.

Actually, looking that has an audible sound. I think I'll see if I can get a vibrating one as it's likely it will annoy the class and she won't pay any attention to it.

#35 schwatzen

Posted 05 March 2019 - 10:07 PM

View Postlaridae, on 05 March 2019 - 08:54 PM, said:

She loves school. No issues there. She asks to go even on the days she's not scheduled to go.
Kids Fitbit might be a good idea. DD1 used to have one (though we didn't use the alarm). She drinks a lot of water though. She not too bad at holding on in the morning but I know she wees a lot in the afternoon. She has gymnastics on a Friday afternoon. She went before we left, once during her (45 minute) class, and another 2 times before we left after her class ended but before her sisters did (an extra 45 minutes). Though I think that was unusually frequent even for her.

When DD was 5 i asked her why she would always wet herself when the toilet was right nearby.

She said "my wee knocks at the door and i tell it i'm busy and to go away but it doesn't listen".

Sigh. Kid logic.

#36 laridae

Posted 05 March 2019 - 11:03 PM

I ask her why and she tells me she doesn't like the toilet, but if it try and get anything more on why, she just tells again that she doesn't like it.

#37 Paddlepop

Posted 05 March 2019 - 11:26 PM

laridae: How frustrating for all of you. If DD doesn't have the words to express what she doesn't like, try getting her to draw a picture of the toilet, or getting a few toys and have her use them to act out going to the school toilet. That should give you some clues. It's worked with my DD with some issues, and her limited expressive speech that meant that she didn't have the words to express herself.

#38 laridae

Posted 06 March 2019 - 11:33 AM

I talked to the teacher this morning and she says to not worry about it, she's not the only one. They remind her to go and take her to the toilet regularly throughout the day too.
She also said she thought that after school care couldn't kick her out due to it. Anyone know if that's the case?

#39 laridae

Posted 07 March 2019 - 11:30 AM

Dr wasn't very helpful. He prodded her tummy a bit,  did some googling and said they can't refer to the continence program until the turn 5.
She did have a good day yesterday though - no accidents. None today yet either.

Edited by laridae, 07 March 2019 - 11:32 AM.


#40 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 07 March 2019 - 11:50 AM

It might be worthwhile going to a paediatrician that speciises in incontinence. You do get a bit back from Medicare.

#41 Paddlepop

Posted 07 March 2019 - 12:58 PM

Has she been x-rayed to check for constipation?

#42 laridae

Posted 13 March 2019 - 09:23 PM

So you'd never believe it, but she's not had a single accident since Tuesday last week. Totally shocked. I'm not even having to remind her to go at home, though I assume they are still taking her regularly at school.
I'm hoping she keeps it up!


#43 MsLaurie

Posted 14 March 2019 - 03:28 PM

Shhhhh don’t jinx it by saying it too loud!! 😂




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