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thanks for your advice everyone!

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#51 born.a.girl

Posted 19 December 2018 - 07:43 AM

View PostBECZ, on 19 December 2018 - 12:18 AM, said:

If you don't want to do the hen's night, I'd just be saying, that's the MOH's job and I wouldn't want to step on her toes even if I did have the time.

I've been a brides maid quite a few times and quite frankly, it turned me off getting married.  So much to do for just a few hours of 'fun'.

We got married giving our 3 x surviving parents an hour's notice. Everyone else arrived for what they thought was a BBQ for my birthday in the evening.

Was in a dress shop one day with daughter looking for 21st outfit, shop also sold wedding dresses.   A woman was there on her own trying on dresses, sounding quite stressed about it.

We were chatting a bit and I just said jokingly 'maybe you should elope'.   Her fierce response was 'I wish we had - I had no idea there was this amount of palaver involved, that so many people had to be involved, and it was so much work'.

I often wonder how many women that happens to.

#52 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 19 December 2018 - 07:43 AM

View PostGlittery Fairy, on 18 December 2018 - 09:13 AM, said:

Id be upfront and honest about her expectations, and say you can help a little bit but not to that extent.

I agree - I would help with whatever I can as you said its a good friend, but I wouldn't do the things that are a major inconvenience to you.,

#53 onetrick

Posted 19 December 2018 - 08:14 AM

OP- are your kids all invited to the wedding? I can see the cake thing as being a reasonable request if you are the only guest coming from Sydney and if there are just 2 of you in the car (depending on how portable the cake is!).
Going dress shopping would be fun if she's low maintenance (one day, not too fussy...). The hens would be a no from me- organising other adults is a special skill that some people enjoy and others hate. I'm the latter.
Pick and choose what you say yes to would be my advice :) I've helped out friends when not in the bridal party but saw my lack of title as quite liberating as I could so easily say no!

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