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Terrified of my pregnancy
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Posted 16 March 2018 - 04:13 PM
First time mum, second pregnancy
i miscarried in December at 11 weeks, chose the D&C option as i wanted this baby more than anything, and figured rather than waiting 2-3 weeks painfully and bleeding i wanted the process over and done with.
im very happy with my decision for the surgery even though it was a lot to take on emotionally on top of my miscarriage and losing my dad the month before it was a really rough couple of months
after finally healing and all the hcg out of my system we started again 3 months later here i am, 5 weeks pregnant and absolutely terrified of he road ahead.. i feel that everything i do.. eat and think could end in miscarriage again
i am in so much fear of this happening again, and nothing can get this thought from my mind
when i go to the toilet im terrified of their being blood, terrified of sex and every single little twinge or cramp takes me right back to that day, hoping after the 11 week milestone will get easier but i am just so sad im going to not enjoy my pregnancy for a while yet
just needing a vent, thanks for reading ladies xx
Posted 16 March 2018 - 04:36 PM
It's completely understandable. I'm sorry it's so traumatic for you and you're not able to enjoy this time.
I had quite a bit of bleeding, was told to not work and lie in bed which wasn't possible. I didn't have a miscarriage and even then still spent the whole nine months nervously checking every time I went to the toilet.
I can't imagine how much worse I'd have been if I'd actually had one. Hope it gets better for you as the weeks pass.
Posted 17 March 2018 - 05:31 AM
Hi OP. I was like this too. I had a blighted ovum and D&C last August (the whole process took a month because the dr took so long to diagnose - which was heartbreaking). My DH also lost his job and struggled to find a new one and we eventually had to relocate. It was a bad year.
I fell pregnant again in October. To say the first trimester was full of anxiety feels like an understatement! I felt like there was no way I could cope with miscarrying again. It was only in recent weeks (I’m now 24 weeks) that I have started to relax a little bit.
I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. Do you think that speaking to a counsellor, or a friend, or your partner could help with the anxiety? A counsellor might be able to help with some strategies for coping with anxiety too, they have for me in the past.
Best of luck OP xx
Edited by 123Babies4Me, 17 March 2018 - 05:33 AM.
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