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Selling family home


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#1 Romeo Void

Posted 20 June 2017 - 10:20 AM

We've started the process of getting our house ready for sale.  My husband and I have lived in this house for pretty much our entire adult life, 30 years.  My children were born here, various family have lived here with us over the years.  Everywhere I look are memories.

I love this house....but I feel we need a change.  My worry is, this house is in a very central location.  When we sell I will see my old home pretty much every day if I want to drive anywhere, I'm worried it might feel like torture driving past all the time.

Has anyone else moved on from a much loved home and emotionally distanced themselves from it?

#2 Kiki M

Posted 20 June 2017 - 10:39 AM

I lived in my family home from birth until I was 27, when my mum sold it. I was very sad, but the upkeep had become too much for my mum. However, I still live in the same suburb and walk past it quite often, as it is right next to my daughter's school.

I don't really have any advice, except to say that like all things, the pull will lessen over time. The new owners will put their own stamp on it and be making their own memories there. I will always feel an attachment but it is not my house anymore and I had to let it go.

Not long ago the house was up for sale so I did go in for a sticky nose; the owners had done a marvelous job at modernizing  the house and changing the layout. Even though it was nice to walk through the house and reminisce, it was comforting that other families had and will continue to enjoy living there as much as we did.

#3 born.a.girl

Posted 20 June 2017 - 10:47 AM

One of the things that puts me off downsizing, is that our house will almost inevitably get knocked down for a massive Grollo type construction to appear in its place.

It's worth about 20% more than land value, but there are people with that sort of money (and I'm talking $$$).

One suggestion from my brother in law I found helpful.   When they sold their beloved home of more than a decade, he went around and said goodbye to the house, and a thankyou for all that it had given them.

Sounds corny, but I like the idea.

#4 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 20 June 2017 - 11:35 AM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 20 June 2017 - 10:47 AM, said:

One of the things that puts me off downsizing, is that our house will almost inevitably get knocked down for a massive Grollo type construction to appear in its place.

It's worth about 20% more than land value, but there are people with that sort of money (and I'm talking $$$).

One suggestion from my brother in law I found helpful.   When they sold their beloved home of more than a decade, he went around and said goodbye to the house, and a thankyou for all that it had given them.

Sounds corny, but I like the idea.

My grandmother's beautiful old house and magnificent garden were demolished and 4 hideous houses were built on the site. None of the family can drive past, still 15 years later.

A family member sold their old family home, that I had spent much time in, and a friend's family bought it! They did a beautiful renovation, and I love seeing it being enjoyed by a new family.

#5 Romeo Void

Posted 21 June 2017 - 09:59 AM

Born.a.girl it's something that I worried about, that someone might do something terrible to the place (it's a huge block 3km from the CBD).  So rather than run the risk of someone 'accidentally' burning down our 100 year old house and developing, we're subdividing ourselves....the idea being that it will no longer be attractive to developers but perhaps a family.  
I'd be happy if a family bought it to be honest, it's just a funny location so I suspect it will go to an investor. And these 100 year old homes need lots of maintenance.  Still, if I a bit of time will get me emotionally distanced...maybe it wont be so bad??

#6 blackcat20

Posted 21 June 2017 - 10:05 AM

I just moved out of my home of 30 years and it was pretty devastating. I drive past the street often but I refuse to look towards the house, as I know it will be bulldozed and all my beautiful fruit trees will likely be ripped out and I'd rather not know about it.

#7 OrchidFlower

Posted 21 June 2017 - 10:15 AM

The house I grew up in was bulldozed and replaced by a hideous mcmansion. My Dad's beautiful garden and trees etc were destroyed. I don't drive past it.

#8 Soontobegran

Posted 21 June 2017 - 10:17 AM

We have been in ours for 39 years.
Our children have all grown up here and it is steeped in memories but it is time for us too. It is pretty much killing me.

We need to move but we need to move so the money we make on the sale can go into super for us as we can buy further out for less so all those people who keep telling us we need to get out and make way for the younger generation can just be quiet now.

We have a large block but our street has limitations on what can be built.....just 2 dwellings per block but no doubt some investor will buy and build in the back yard and still charge more than a first home buyer can afford.

Can't win.

#9 BadCat

Posted 21 June 2017 - 10:17 AM

I guess it depends on how emotional you are about the house.

When we left our house of 20 years it was heartbreaking in more ways than one.  But we left because of Mr Fluffy asbestos so we really didn't have much choice.

It was sad to leave.  I cried a bit.  In truth I cried more about the asbestos than the house.

When they demolished the house I drove by to have a look.  In the back garden up by the fence was a giant mural we had gotten our kids and some friends kids to do for us one New Year's Eve.  Just sitting there, exposed, in an empty lot. At that point I cried again.

The mural is gone now as well and all that is left is vacant land.  I feel much less sad about that.  It will go to auction.  Someone will build something there.  And life will go on. It doesn't bother me now.

So yeah, you will deal with it in your own way.  Only you can know whether it will be too painful, or whether you can let go.

Edited by BadCat, 21 June 2017 - 10:18 AM.


#10 HRH Countrymel

Posted 21 June 2017 - 10:36 AM

My childhood home got turned into a B&B.
My sister took her husband along with Mum & Dad to stay there when she was pregnant and feeling very sentimental.

They said it was a weird experience, Dad (who had lived there more than 50 years) was really surprised at how LITTLE he felt.

We had all loved that house and were heartbroken when we left, but time passes and it is just a 'Hey look the rhodo is blooming' or 'OMG! Dad is SO OLD" when you see the size of the oak tree he grew from an acorn towering against the sky, these days.


#11 MadnessCraves

Posted 21 June 2017 - 11:37 AM

My childhood home was sold recently. I had mixed emotions about it. Dad had died so we sold the place since he and mum split years ago. I meant to visit the house one last time before settlement but I got really sick after my DS birth and never got to say 'goodbye' to the house. In a way I'm sad it's moved on. It's hard to imagine my childhood home is someone else's now. Despite when I moved out I lived in 8 different places. DD has lived in 2 houses. Her birth certifcate lists our old home. I find it hard to imagine we'd be in our current home forever, but we talk about it like it is. Part of me is itching to move, so I can't become attached to a home.

But at the same time I'd be excited for new beginnings.

#12 Freyja

Posted 22 June 2017 - 01:24 AM

We sold our family home a few months ago and I was worried about how we would feel leaving. However, once we packed all our belongings and moved them out it was not our 'home' anymore. It was just a house. What made it a home was were the people in it, our belongings and memories.

#13 born.a.girl

Posted 22 June 2017 - 09:36 AM

This thread has reminded me of selling our mother's house a few years ago.   They built it themselves in the late forties, and apart from a period of ten years, she lived there until 2014.   Very frequent visits from my mid twenties to early sixties, then with my sisters clearing the house out before selling. She was a messy hoarder so it was the first time we got to see why she used to actually like the place!

Virtually no improvements over the decades meant the lino in the bedrooms was the original.

Such a weird feeling, though, pulling that front door shut for the last time and knowing I no longer had the right to pull up at the house and let myself in to the house after 'knowing' it all my life.

#14 4keykne

Posted 26 June 2017 - 10:01 AM

We are about to sell our family home. Whilst it is terribly sad leaving the only place my children have known as home we will be moving to an acreage giving the boys lots more room to run around and kick a ball so trying to focus on the positives for the family




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