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help with child psychologist

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#26 lazycritterisferal

Posted 19 June 2017 - 08:28 AM

More virtual hugs. Hope today goes ok.

#27 nup

Posted 19 June 2017 - 09:37 AM

I'm trying to look for signs that meltdowns are incoming. She works up to them with a series of extreme tantrums where she is over reacting. We're trying to slow family life down and focus on calm days to try to help her but not having much luck as DH reacts to her shrieking, then we're in a cycle of awful. We're all on edge all of the time. I have regular breaks but then the shrieking shreds what little I can regather of myself.

I'm seeing someone else about my overwhelm. I'm yet to come across a practitioner that I have sought out for her that isn't making this about themselves or me. I work really hard to push all that aside but it seems I'm not being heard whilst she's being ignored altogether. Shouldn't the psych  I have assessed her in some way by now?  A she's barely acknowledging her.

The times I have been to appointments without anything written down I get nowhere but the times I've used notes I've actually been dismissed. I'm only 3 years into this but feel the downhill slide is so radical that I'm wasting valuable resources on people who can't help us. I try to approach each new appointment with a fresh hopeful approach but it's wearing thin. Should the psych be helping me to formulate a plan for her?

#28 nup

Posted 19 June 2017 - 09:53 AM

And what do you know, I had planned to film our usual morning palava but she's being delightful and I'm not pushing her to get us anywhere.

#29 LisbethSalander

Posted 19 June 2017 - 10:21 AM

I really feel for you. That is some tough stuff.

I personally think that yes, your child's psych should be doing something with your DD. At that age there should be a component of the session spent with you, a component addressing you both and a component, however short, addressing your DD with you present.

It is all too common to find practitioners that dont fit or dont seem to 'get it'. I know its hard. Keep knocking on doors. Keep doing what youre doing. You are not doing anything wrong.

I can see DS16's meltdowns coming days ahead. I can point out the warning signs to him. He can even now acknowledge he can see those signs too, but he has not yet been able to figure out what it is that is upsetting him. Even if I know, he will be in denial over it (say if something I know has made him upset about his dad and I can see the signs and it is blatantly obvious) he will refuse to agree with it and so very little can be done to avoid hitting that peak.

It is good to spend some time later when things calm, in a matter of fact manner that avoids blame etc as to the signs you saw.

When DS was younger he had a list of distractions and diversion for when certain cues came up that meant he was heading for a meltdown. They never stopped it but they did help spread them out.

#30 MooGuru

Posted 19 June 2017 - 10:56 AM

That is hard Nup. I apologize if this is something you've already explored and I've missed it.
Have you seen an OT? I personally had a good experience with one but I've now heard from a couple of people that an OT has been good for helping with strategies and that intervention was a significant stepping stone to diagnosis (SPD, ADHD and dyslexia in the 3 people I'm thinking of).

#31 Etcetera

Posted 19 June 2017 - 12:19 PM

I really feel for you. Someone should be doing something more than just blowing you off and blaming your parenting.

Wrt the tics, I know how distressing it is. My eldest has a tic disorder, most likely Tourette's and at times it's been so severe we were so scared he would seriously hurt himself.

I don't really have any advice except for keep pushing for answers and help.

#32 nup

Posted 19 June 2017 - 12:24 PM

We're booked to see OT. I had thought it was an obvious solution for some of her sensory issues but anytime I get close to booking I get told she presents as fine. She does because she's socially inquisitive but it exhausts her to put on her mask everyday. I get that but she almost has too much downtime which upsets her. I pushed hard in the early speech development to get the help she needed despite being told then that shewas fine. She had multiple regressions but MCHNs and speechie told me she was "fine". After the massive gains we saw thanks to speech. It's as though everyone else needs to see her as something rather than just address the stuff I've presented them with.

About to head out now and we had a big run this morning so feeling hopeful again. Hopefully this time I'll really get somewhere.

The tics seem to be growing in frequency but spreading to new versions too. She has a nose, eye, head, shoulder and throat clearing now. The nightmares and fears are a bigger concern but I think her poor little body/nervous system is overwhelmed by stress and I'm  really starting to blame myself which is just not like me. Onwsrd and upward

#33 Etcetera

Posted 19 June 2017 - 12:44 PM

My son's tics change too. It started with a head shake that go at more and more violently then disappeared. Now he does these whole arm movements, head tilts and other smaller repetitive movements. It's normal for tics to progress and come and go. The advice given to us was that unless it is bothering them, it's best to ignore. Treatment would be CBT. We did have tests to rule out seizures too.

I really recommend taking videos. DSs tics became extreme but in the paed's office of course he barely did it at all! The video I had was really helpful.

Tell the OT that you know she will present well.
Go in armed with lists of all the issues, you videos, tell them about the worst days.
Some therapists suck. Some don't listen or seem to care. But once you get a good one it can make the world of difference, just knowing you have someone on your side.

You're doing a great job.

#34 nup

Posted 19 June 2017 - 08:37 PM

All better now; thanks for all the advice. I will revert to the PDA techniques but I know it will take a bit of practice to get it right after where we have gone with this.

A few weeks off school will help and she's looking forward to a holiday. Psych has started assessing her today. Let's hope we have a clearer path to move forward in the next couple of weeks. Some talk about extra help available but still no reference to meds. I think it was more the usual lost in the woods stuff that triggered this post but we've booked in with OT and speech and can see things are happening.

#35 lazycritterisferal

Posted 19 June 2017 - 11:27 PM

I hope you're able to find a decent gp and paediatrician in the meantime.

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