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seeking support and advice in dealing with DS's school UPDATE #65

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#51 lizzybirdsworth

Posted 01 June 2017 - 12:57 PM

Lol you drink as many as your body can take so you get through the day. That's my moto!

#52 SelceLisbeth

Posted 07 June 2017 - 12:32 PM

Short update. Meeting was delayed. Now going to be on Thursday.

Very nervous about making sure it is productive and helpful.

#53 SelceLisbeth

Posted 09 June 2017 - 07:43 AM

For anyone following this is a break down of yesterdays meeting.

myself, NDIS case worker, OT arrive in time. YLC arrives in front office. No one can wellbeing officer. Twenty minutes late he arrives, no apology (he tells YLC he went to eat). There is no room booked, so we have to share space in an open room.

They cant answer questions about the support DS is getting because that is the realm of the special needs unit who they didnt ask to attend because DS isnt funded.

YLC says that some teachers arent providing modified work despite saying they are. Says she will have each one telephone me. I ask for email so I have written evidence of what is said and she says they dont have time for that (but they do have time for phone calls).

Wellbeing officer says DS is a waste of his time because and I quote "all of the other kids eventually warm to me but xxxxx hasnt. There is something wrong with him". This guy has no training in dealing with kids with disability and come from an adult justice background. He explained how he kept trying to entice DS to open up. DS would get really freaked out at that kind of pressure. He has also told DS that he is wasting his time and so I think DS just wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Dont blame him. Talking about a kid who has experienced multiple traumas and has disabilities. Douche.

They were all too happy to have DS start missing PE and use the time to catch up on other work, but he is not allowed to be at school to do that. They didnt care that he wont handle that well as once he is out of the environment, it is so hard for him to do school things.

Whole experience was demoralising. That said, it could have been much worse. The teachers are all meant to let me know about the modified work and give a general idea as to their expectations so I can see if they are reasonable. Missing PE means less vomiting in the morning. I was able to get them to have his home group teacher spend a few minutes with him before his mornings home so he can prepare and know what he will do with his time home.

We are placing a fiddle box with a favourite book of DS's that is exactly the same as one he has at home in the wellbeing office to give DS a little bit of ownership of the space there and help him feel comfortable with being there as it is the only place he can be that is supervised if he needs time out from class.

Its a start. Its somewhere to move on from. The YLC was not prepared to be the point of contact so this will all need to be discussed with teachers again in a month or so in the new semester after subjects change, although Im told there will be only about three teacher changes.

#54 SelceLisbeth

Posted 13 June 2017 - 06:09 PM

Im not sure if anyone is interested, but I am writing this more because there is no one here to bounce off and that frustration is difficult to process sometimes.

Already had two phone calls from teachers despite requesting emails so I had written stuff to fall back on. One was a waste of time, as she clearly had no interest in anything but making sure I knew she thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with DS. The other was very helpful. She was very switched on and aware.

Again, could have gone better, could be worse.

#55 SplashingRainbows

Posted 13 June 2017 - 06:17 PM

That sucks LS. I'm sorry one of the teachers is so self absorbed.

Can you do the email back thing 'confirming our telephone discussion on x date ...' Of course you shouldn't have to, but it may help if you're after a paper trail.

Devils advocate - particularly for the switched on teacher - he/she may have been concerned email may be ineffective if tone was not adequately conveyed. I know I often feel better able to discuss issues which may have elements of sensitivity rather than email because I'd hate for them to be taken the wrong way. Could that be a possible interpretation?
Difficult for you I know and not helpful when the email is needed for documentation, but the intent *may* genuinely have been good.

#56 onetrick

Posted 13 June 2017 - 08:47 PM

I love that there was one switched on teacher. I know when I'm struggling with any student in a class (with anything- academics, finding something that motivates them, trying to connect with them), the first thing that I ask is if there are any teachers who have had successes with them, so I guess if you have more phone calls where teachers seem useless, you can remind them of the positive phone call that you had.Sorry that this is taking so long- it shouldn't be this hard to get professionals to talk about a student...

#57 SelceLisbeth

Posted 13 June 2017 - 08:54 PM

SR - sorry that I sounded so negative about it. I am just a bit used to being let down by the school. Im more annoyed that I made a point of asking for written communication and its clear that the YLC has told them to telephone me.

Its a work in progress.

#58 SplashingRainbows

Posted 14 June 2017 - 06:53 AM

Hey whinge away - you can be as negative as you want.

I was just throwing another perspective out there in case it's helpful. There wasn't any criticism from my perspective.

Edited by SplashingRainbows, 14 June 2017 - 06:53 AM.

#59 SelceLisbeth

Posted 14 June 2017 - 03:02 PM

All good SR. :)

Two more did it today (via email - no idea whats going on).

That make four out of seven teachers.

One teacher was for an unassessed class called mind body and leadership. She said all the work is opt-in and there is no homework, so I doubt that one is causing him much stress but I will talk to him about it tonight anyway.

The other one was his PE teacher. Not a huge fan of the guy from how he has dealt with DS#1's issues, so wasnt surprised to find him insisting DS loves PE etc etc and doesnt need any support. DS vomits every morning of a PE class. He regularly 'forgets' his uniform and cries about going. There was a task listed online that he had completed from a term ago but every time he asked for help, none was given (the task was deleted the day of the meeting). DS is not doing PE anymore anyway, so I can let that one go and not bother to engage or take it on board emotionally, which is great.

More importantly, DS himself seems to be a little brighter this week. He had a big pall of sadness around him which was very shocked because he often shows little emotion. That seems to be slowly lifting. :)

#60 SelceLisbeth

Posted 27 June 2017 - 10:48 AM

For anyone following or interested:

DS seems happier. That could also be because its end of term so there are no tasks to worry about.

I never heard from any more teachers and when I contacted the YLC about it I never received a response.

We will all enjoy the break of the school holidays and I will have plenty of follow up to do in the new term.

#61 wallofdodo

Posted 27 June 2017 - 10:58 AM

I am listening.

Glad he is seeming happier. End of term can be a relief

#62 SelceLisbeth

Posted 27 June 2017 - 12:34 PM

Thank you. I feel very alone in this and feeling as though others can hear my frustration and see how hard Im trying does help.

#63 MrsWidget

Posted 27 June 2017 - 03:36 PM

I'm listening too. You are such a fierce advocate for your boys. x

#64 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 28 June 2017 - 12:57 AM

I'm following. I just want to make it better for you and I know you have been trying everything - so I feel silly making suggestions you already did. Like 5 years ago.

Pulling him out of PE sounds like the right thing. Is there any way an 'external' adult can 'supervise' him in the library or something?  I know NDIS won't support education but maybe you could call it 'accessing a public library' or something?  
The Welfare co-ord guy sounds like a douche.  Has he ever read as much as an information sheet on ASD? Cos it sounds like not.  I'm sorry you keep going through this year after year, it is so wrong they won't step up.

#65 SelceLisbeth

Posted 28 July 2017 - 10:44 AM

I am very proud to be able to bring a positive update.

DS has had a really good start to the term. We spent a lot of the holidays looking at things we could tweak to help support him. He has been able to keep up with all homework so far even though there has been a lot of it.

He is showing some signs of anxiety about school still with gagging when he is getting ready for school. Im hoping that will settle as his confidence about being able to manage improves.

Its all looking much more positive for the second half of this year and I am very proud of my boy and his tenacity and determination. :)

#66 Pocketmoney

Posted 29 July 2017 - 10:40 PM

I'm glad the term has started well. He must have got his tenacity and determination from his mum ;)

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