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Loss at 21 week...

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#1 glassmarble

Posted 19 March 2017 - 09:37 PM

Hi all

It's been almost 3.5 weeks since I have lost my little one. It was unbelievably difficult to cope initially for the first two weeks but now I come to terms with it and am trying to get myself ready for the next pregnancy.

It was my first pregnancy. Everything went very smoothly so I was in 'low' risk in the hospital care plan. My 12 week scan seemed fine, there was no abnormality detected and the baby was growing normally.
However when I went back for 20 week scan, obstetrician told me that baby did not look good. She was not growing fast enough (3 weeks behind) and seemed to have a large liver with echogenic bowel. Also, there was not much amniotic fluid so baby could not move much inside me.
I was referred to a hospital for further testing on the following week and then we found out there was no heart beat anymore....

My husband and I are healthy and fit. Our family from both sides has no history of genetic issue. The blood test result suggests that I didn't have any type of infections during the pregnancy. I am really not sure what caused this.....

We are still waiting on post mortem results which will come out in 2 months time but would like to ask you a few questions

1. Does anyone have similar experience in the past? What would cause this...?
2. I really want to have a baby soon....when can I try again? My obs told me to wait for about 3 months. What's your opinion?
3. I delivered my baby about 3.5 weeks ago and still feel some sort of uterus pain (stretch etc) although bleeding is almost gone. is it normal?

Thanks for reading this. It's been really tough but I have been getting comforts by reading different stories from people and realised I am not the only one. It is such a painful experience which we all can live without....

I can't wait to have a healthy & full term baby soon...... :)

#2 OrchidFlower

Posted 19 March 2017 - 09:55 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss :(
I would take the advice of your obstetrician over what others on this forum have done in terms of TTC again.
All the best

#3 miffee

Posted 19 March 2017 - 10:13 PM

Hello. I am so sorry for your loss. I had something very similar in my first pregnancy in 2013. My 12 and even 20 week scans were fine but about 22 weeks I started to worry that I had not felt baby move and went to hospital where an untrasound revealed that there was no heartbeat. I was induced and delivered my little boy that night. It was a very sad and challenging time for myself and my partner. We never found out what caused our boys death even the autopsy revealed nothing out of the ordinary.
We weren't specifically trying to conceive but I fell pregnant again about 3 months later. Unfortunately I then had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. All my doctors assured me that there was no connection between these 2 losses, they just happened.
I then fell pregnant a few months later and after a very easy but stressful pregnancy my DD 1 was born in September 2014. Almost exactly 2 years later DD2 was born in September 2016 after another very healthy but fairly stressful pregnancy.
I hope my story gives you some comfort and that you have the emotional and physical support that you need. If you are concerned about still having pain or discomfort you should see your health provider to ease your mind.
Take care of your self and I wish you all the best.

#4 mumto4boys

Posted 19 March 2017 - 10:48 PM

I am very sorry to hear about what you went through. Losing a baby is something you will never forget so please be gentle with yourself.

I can't give you any medical advice but I want to wish you well and let you know that there are many ladies here that have been through similar, they will support you and have lots of advice. When you are ready, there are threads on conceiving and parenting after loss.

Wishing you well.

#5 glassmarble

Posted 22 March 2017 - 07:36 PM

Thank you all for lovely messages and sharing your story. Life still has to go on, I will keep myself positive and try to conceive again in a couple of months time..

Wish you all well!

#6 AdelTwins

Posted 22 March 2017 - 08:33 PM

I'm so sorry. I had a late term miscarriage at 19w last July.

I was allowed to try after one month, but ended up taking 4 months to get pregnant. I'm now 17w and struggling mentally. I'm normally a pretty tough person but both DH and I are on a knife's edge (waiting for this to fail). I'm trying to be as positive as I can... but it's so hard!

I wish you all the best in TTC. It's a tough journey.

#7 EmmDasher

Posted 22 March 2017 - 09:12 PM


Edited by EmmDasher, 21 April 2017 - 10:38 AM.

#8 nasty roses

Posted 22 March 2017 - 10:22 PM

sorry, double post

Edited by nasty roses, 22 March 2017 - 10:25 PM.

#9 nasty roses

Posted 22 March 2017 - 10:24 PM

No advice but couldn't not reply. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. Do you want to share her name? I hope you'll have a rainbow baby in your arms soon xx

#10 Pocketmoney

Posted 22 March 2017 - 11:40 PM

I'm so sorry. It's a heartbreaking experience that far too many of us have gone through.

I had a spontaneous miscarriage at 12 weeks that ultimately needed a d&c as i was bleeding very heavily. I fell pregnant 6weeks later and it was a hard pregnancy mentally and physically compared to my first one (I have a ds already). Of course it was worth it, my dd is amazing, but if I'm entirely honest I should have waited. I'm still physically run down from the pregnancy and dd is two.

You'll know when you're really ready.

All the best, I hope you have a little one soon.

#11 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 22 March 2017 - 11:51 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss

#12 Catinblack

Posted 21 April 2017 - 09:35 AM

So sorry for the loss of your precious bub. Unfortunately I too can relate as I lost my longed for baby at 18 weeks about 4 weeks ago, only I had to go to surgery as the induction wasn't working.

Very different circumstances as to why we lost ours but in terms of pain and bleeding, I would say if you are at all concerned about it to call your OB. I have some remaining stuff in my uterus which they saw during a scan last week and they gave me antibiotics and said it should resolve on its own with my next AF. But my situation is quite different to yours as my placenta was very stuck so if you aren't bleeding much then Im sure the stretching type pains are just your uterus going back down to normal size. I have the odd pain like that too.

3 months before trying again sounds reasonable to me, its such a hard thing to go through and I think you need some time out mentally as well as physically to get yourself back to a better place.

Take care and big hugs to you xx

#13 Therese

Posted 21 April 2017 - 09:53 AM

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter.

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