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When your waters break , induced twice and precip :)!welcome Hudson !
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Posted 19 March 2017 - 10:37 AM
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They call it Labour for a reason!
He is 35 days old and perfect in every way. Well minus the night time wake ups and the crying but I guess that is to be expected!!
I just wanted to take time to discuss my labour including my own naivety of what labour would be like, as well as the many thoughts I have had since having him and my attempt to get back into fitness.
So Baby Boy arrived on the 8th February 2017 at 2:45 pm what a crazy experience!!
For 3 days prior I had pre labour .For these 3 days I spent 6 hours each night having contractions, which did not progress. Every time I googled (yep, that’s mainly how I try and work out what is going on) every forum told me that pre labour is completely painless like Braxton Hicks…well mmm NO I spent 3 nights rocking back and forth, hugging the toilet and vomiting pretty much on my partner.
It turns out pre labour even though contractions did not continue at times can start dilation and trust me they were exactly the same as the contractions I was having in labour.
After visiting Costco after 3 nights of torture, I reached for some crackers and thought I had peed myself. Turns out there are two sets of water hind and fore waters…hind waters are less volume and can be a trickle, I chose to ignore what had happened and continued my shop (well because you know we needed to stock up on toilet roll and crackers, really important things like) but this was a sign birth was close.
Early the next morning I went into labour. I woke up at 2 am thinking I had peed myself yet again (which to be fair in pregnancy anything is likely) but the water never stopped. Now I know that waters can break but I never expected what happened, it was as if a bath was overflowing ha!!!! The whole floor was wet (luckily we have floorboards) what made it funnier was I was trying to wake up my partner who is a heavy sleeper whist flooding the bedroom. In his rush to get his bag ready he jumped up and slipped in it. Insert us both laughing hysterically!!
So normal people have contractions not long after their waters break so we were asked to go into the hospital to be monitored. After a 2-hour wait still no contractions. We were sent home and told to come back if contractions started 5 mins apart for more than an hour otherwise come back at 8 pm that evening to be induced * at post 18 hours the risk of infection is high so they give anti-biotics and induce much to my dismay.
After getting home we tried to sleep but we had too much adrenaline we just couldn’t. I think my partner and I may have got 30 mins sleep that day!
What I didn’t realise is that the fluid keeps on coming; we had to make an emergency visit tot the chemist to buy some maternity pads. Every time I moved more fluid came out (I was excited thinking that I may actually be losing some of the baby weight)
With no contractions and after a long wait, I called the hospital to confirm that I could come in and they agreed. What an absolute c*ck up!!! We got there, no one knew why we were there, and we had to wait an extra 3 hours, as there was no bed left. I got antibiotics finally at 22 hours post waters breaking!!
At this point it was 1am. We had already been awake for 24hours. (Turns out my baby wasn’t coming because he had a little bit of extra tissue on his head that had stopped him from coming out but no one checked so who knew)
Finally we were given a room and I was induced with an IV drip of Oxytocin. However after six hours and the whole 1000ml pumped into me, the inducement had not worked L The midwifes did not have a clue why and with a new midwife coming on she asked her supervisor what to do as they had never heard of this before!
The new midwife actually checked my dilation. The first time anyone had checked and noticed that there was a small bag of water that hadn’t broke. Then came the midwife having to do a “sweep”. My partner still mocks me about how far she had to get her arm up and use what only can be described as a crochet hook to break the remaining bag of water.
Then the fun began. I was given another bag of Oxytocin; this was given at a higher dose, which ultimately kicked me well into labour. However because of the strength of the contractions from the increased dose I went into 4-minute contractions. Insert the Emergency Resuscitation team rushing in, doing all sorts of things as baby heart rate had dropped and they finally reduced the dose realising at last I wasn’t actually immune (so poses the question what on earth did they pump me with initially?).
As much as I was enjoying the fact labour had eventually started 29hrs later post my waters breaking, I wasn’t enjoying the whole room filled with staff. It was slightly off putting.
I was then having several contractions every five minutes, not too bad I thought. I tell you what though hearing other women screaming their tits off wasn’t particularly uplifting surely the walls should be sound proof??
Following a few more contractions, the pain suddenly got ridiculously unbearable. I preached how I wanted a natural birth. My lovely midwife Amber* (who restored my faith in that hospital) wanted me to stick with this wish as I was begging for drugs. She massaged my back however this did nothing for the pain (now I say pain. I am not sure that is quite a good description. I do recall shouting many expletives at every contraction, which may suggest it, hurt just a little)
I also asked my midwife how long labour lasts for. She suggests on average 9 hrs. I remember crying after an hour and thinking I cannot go for 9 hrs. !!! I was exhausted!!! Anyway back to the massage that I told lovely Amber* wasn’t F+++++ working She finally got me some gas and air, which I convinced wasn’t even switched on. I had it for 20mins then it was swiftly removed to try the natural option, as I so wanted this before labour! (What an idiot why did I go natural?)
Now the problem with the induction is that you are permanently stuck on an IV drip so when you need to wee/poop u have to take it with you. Just what you need mid contraction and to insert my naivety I did not know you actually bleed so much in labour. I didn’t realise you have to wear maternity pads through labour and even leave them for your midwife to check. At one point my partner was changing them for me (now that was the start of a new level of the relationship little did I know there was a lot more to come)
So after an hour of contractions, vomiting in which I was given Maxalon which was pretty awesome to stop the vomit, Amber* went to lunch and this other midwife took over. I do not want to describe this other midwife. I think she hated me actually I think she hated everyone!!!
After about 10 mins and her informing me the contractions only get worse I had this ridiculous feeling to push. After screaming such and the midwife telling me “well I don’t think so” and deciding to have a quick peak she rapidly changed her tune and told me I was 10cm dilated and to push away!!! Thank f++ I thought!!!! So after a bit of pushing, being told off that I wasn’t pushing properly, in walked my guardian angel Amber who made me squat on all 4’s. Forty minutes later after working out how to push (basically like your having a really difficult poo – which to be fair I was quite scared of happening) baby came out, well sort of, he got stuck so insert more drama! Finally my Baby Boy was here. I thought that might be the end of the drama well I was wrong!!!!
Looking down the birthing bed was well; full of blood, to the point I was slipping off it Having a slight awareness of medical issues from my paramedic degree I knew I was having Post Partum bleed and just to confirm this the midwifes looked scared and in once again rushed the emergency team. We were on first name terms at this point.
Without too much detail there was that much blood loss they had to get my partner to turn me around on my back. No one was telling me what was happening, apart from good old Amber. I was injected with Syntocin, my placenta was delivered with assistance from the lovely Nurse unit manager, and there was blood everywhere, on the floor, on the bed! It was scarier than the whole birth I thought I was a goner.
My poor partner was just stood there watching. Turns out I also had a second degree tear and all of a sudden had a Dr with his hand up my lady garden stitching me up!!!
After that birth I no longer had any sense of shyness, I was more than happy to sit there with my legs on stirrups with this man I had never met fixing me up!! Turns out I had lost 800ml of blood I wonder why I wasn’t feeling too bubbly
So yep my labour was quick less that 3 hours so I now have a title of Precip – meaning I am that woman that is likely to give birth in the back of the car and yes unlike other women who have long labours it was shorter.
However I went from 4 – 10cm dilated in less than 2 hours so continual intense pain, 4 minute contractions and 3 days of pre labour as well as waters breaking, no sleep for 48 hours and post partum haemorrhage! So please don’t tell me I am lucky and it was easy because it was short!
After birth I was in some kind of shock! We were left alone for an hour with our baby. 1) Baby did not want the boob no matter how much I tried to prod him with my nipple 2) We did not have a clue!
Ok confession time …my baby was the first baby I had ever held! No phriggin idea. I sat there stunned not sure how to move without breaking him.
Thinking that maybe I would get a cuppa and some toast brought me (which never happened) I felt as if I had ran an ultra marathon and was at that shaky hypoglycaemic stage. I shouted at my partner to pass me the muffin he had bought me earlier I had never wanted sugar so bad!! Best tasting food ever!!
After scoffing this. The midwife came in and told me I had to shower and get out they needed the room.
I am not sure if the midwife was just having a bad day however my lovely Amber* had gone home and we were left with this other lady who I am sure was very educated in midwifery however communication skills were not the greatest.
I got shooed into the shower in which I nearly collapsed and had to sit on the floor. I had blood well everywhere. My legs were so full of fluid I couldn’t even put thongs on or bend my toes and with blood dripping down my leg I had to walk over to the maternity unit.
Baby or myself hadn’t had any observations. I sat on my new bed not knowing what day it was, no idea what actually happened in the birthing room or what the F to do next. After popping to the toilet and nearly passing out yet again as well as struggling to breathe I had to call to see the Dr.
I was finally checked out! My heart rate was high and they would monitor me however apart from that we were alone! Well for about 20 mins. Then the push for breastfeeding started. Yes I wanted to breastfeed however I did not want 4 different midwifes squeeze my tits and try to “milk “ me. I had no milk to get out!!!! My poor kid was so hungry!!!! If I hear breastfeeding is best again I will hit someone!!
So probably the third hour of being in the room with my partner I wanted to go home! I know I was delicate in more ways than one but I had never been treated with such ignorance! I sobbed holding my baby. Of course overwhelmed by being a brand new mum but I was having flashbacks to the bleeding and the resus team and the lack of information but the whole trauma of labour had really affected me. Nothing prepared me for the lack of care I received!!
Turns out also the birthing notes hadn’t been given to the Maternity ward so no midwifes had any idea that I had PPH or that I was induced! Supposedly my own and my baby’s obs were taken before leaving the birthing suite, they were not, in my state of shock maybe I missed that but my partner also guarantees they were not.
Not one person had explained what had happened with the PPH and I only know I am “precip” because lovely guardian angel midwife told me on her way out the door to go home!
We finally got some sleep until baby starting coughing up what looked like blood. Panicking I pressed the buzzer for the Midwife, turns out that’s the norm they take in stuff from the birth canal! Who knew eh!!
The next day I thought maybe things would improve. Not really. I still had the cannula in my arm from the induction which I had to request to be removed before it became infected, the midwife had come in to squeeze my boobs again and I was told to hand express. I wasn’t getting anything and my baby was losing weight (like I was doing it on purpose) and several midwives that day came in and out talking to me like I was simple.
My partner was told “ you sh*t outside the room and go home to shower” the food is not for you” such a lovely environment considering partners are allowed to stay! I wanted to go home, I would have rather gone home then stay a second night however we stayed because we were concerned if something went wrong with baby we wouldn’t have a clue. The routine of having my tits manhandled not in a good way continued, we were criticised for the way we put on a nappy, , the way we burped him the way I didn’t have milk. I couldn’t have felt less confident!!!!
Finally when it was time to go home we couldn’t get out fast enough! We got home and you know what we became the relaxed people we always are. No one squeezing my boobs criticising me, nothing but my partner and I Of course I still didn’t have a clue but we didn’t have to deal with being “judged” or treated with such distain!
When the community midwife came she was absolutely lovely. What I found funny is they even screwed up the discharge papers and suggested I spent 3 nights in the psych ward!!! Now I may have needed it after that trauma however I did not so why was it documented. Also incorrect birth weight was on the form and the fact that my child had slight jaundice that no one told me about? The lovely community midwife got this rectified and on her next visit she provided us with the right paperwork. I also had to tell her a sin that had happened in the days since her last visit. …I was now formula feeding.
My milk never came in, my kid was hungry and god forbid I gave him formula!!! My child is formula fed and he has already gained over his birth weight. I sobbed for five hours making the decision not to breast-feed
The community midwife reply was “ do what suits you honey” It was pure relief!!!!! YES it suits me. Her words meant the world to me. Every forum out there declares how breast is best, yes I’m sure it is but my baby was crying with hunger!! !
My little boy loves his milk time and as for bonding I couldn’t think of any thing more peaceful for both of us. The poor kid forced to take my nipple by strangers let alone the contradictory advice I was getting from all the different midwifes. My baby and myself do perfectly on the bottle thanks and even better my partner gets to feed him!!!
So a few weeks on ….I am still healing, and little did I know you bleed for 2 – 6 weeks afterward…fabulous. I actually am embarrassed to say but I do have nightmares and flashbacks of my labour in particular me bleeding out and lack of care nothing about the pain or having him!!!
I have learnt my boy hates the bath, is not a future naturist as getting changed is a nightmare and like his Mum and Dad doesn’t like too much going on!!! I have learnt that everything changes, couple time is now split between changing a nappy and vacantly watching Netflix and most defiantly no chill for a few weeks!!!
And yes it’s a massive learning curve for us both but you know what I can do it as can any Mum out there. I may have let his nappy leak, I may have dropped peanut butter on his head whilst trying to sneak in a crumpet whilst feeding him and yep we have had “poonamis” and projectile vomit yet we all are still here to tell the story. My total admiration goes out to single parents. I am just coping and I have the most supportive amazing baby daddy!! To do it alone would be near impossible! Single parents you are absolutely amazing
My labour may have been non conventional and well for me traumatic … However I do what another one in the future…sometime… one day …way in the future and never at the same hospital. I may have already researched into private birthing and private c-sections!!!
Before labour I was saying to my partner 1) I was looking forward to labour as I saw it as a challenge like running the marathon 2) no way will I touch drugs 3) OI will never birth on all 4s!
1) The marathon was easy compared to labour respect to all Mums
2) Next time give me everything I can have, I don’t care about looking “weak” id rather float on a cloud than have traumatic throwbacks
3) Birth anyway I can I don’t care. I have no dignity left.
I expected to run out the door the next opportunity I had. I thought maybe get a quick 5 k done in the first week. It seems that after birth you aren’t actually in the best state. I couldn’t even get shoes on my feet let alone walk or run!!!
I have done some gym workouts at home when bub has been a sleep however he has an amazing technique of waking up when I am doing something. So far mid shower, mid wee, mid lunge J!!
The release of endorphins is amazing and a definite boost when home alone with baby!!! My plan now I can see my feet again is to go running net week. I am starting again. I plan to do a learn to run 5k program. I have done this several times after long breaks and it helps me get back into it and avoid any further hip damage. I am disappointed that I haven’t been able to run yet but I also am proud that I pushed him out my lu la !
So at 35 days old, I couldn’t be more in love with him or my partner. For a couple that didn’t meet till later, both with failed marriages and relationships the thought of kids was nothing but a dream. Then we met each other and along came baby boy.
I have to say Life is freaking awesome!!
Ps. Thank you for sleeping baby boy whilst I write this but Mummy wants a cuddle. Wake up!
Posted 19 March 2017 - 11:02 AM
How traumatic! You have my sympathies. Know that you have done an amazing job bringing your boy into the world and you're doing an amazing job as a mummy.
My first birth was traumatic, and mostly due to the post birth care (or lack of) that I got in hospital. I still get upset when I think about it.
I switched hospitals for my second baby and had a much better experience and found it very healing.
it might be worth getting some counselling about your birth experience, and even writing a letter to the hospital. I regret not telling the hospital about my bad experience, but of course I was too busy with my new baby to think about that!
Good luck with the next 20 years
Posted 20 March 2017 - 10:10 AM
Wow, what an experience!
It sounds like you would have grounds for a formal complaint about some of the processes within the hospital. If you'd rather put the whole thing behind you and never have anything to do with them again, that would be perfectly understandable. But if you did want to take it further, a formal complaint would force them to investigate and try to stop this sort of thing happening again.
It sounds like you're a really strong person who loves a challenge and can rise to pretty much any situation, including running a marathon. Birth can be very traumatic and the feeling of being completely out of control can leave people feeling very lost. If you're still having bad dreams more than a month on, it may be worth considering counselling.
I think people often minimise the effect the whole thing can have emotionally, and feel a bit like they're not allowed to complain or feel bad once they have a healthy baby who they absolutely adore. If you do need help, make sure you get it.
You sound like such a loving mum, congratulations on your little family! And we might see you around in the runners thread before too long
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