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Biting and meltdowns
7 replies to this topic
Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:15 AM
DD is now 2 and chatting up a storm. The conversations we can have with her are amazing. We get frequent comments on how well she speaks for her age. She loves (and I mean LOVES) Thomas the Tank and would probably watch it all day if we let her (which we don't)
She has the days where she is a little sweetie who has the occasional tantrum but can talked around...and then others (which unfortunately outweigh the sweet days) she turns into a little possessed human who wants to bite everything -even herself- and the hitting and screaming... Oh my goodness can she scream and she's so loud. When she bites she shakes and really bites down hard on whatever it is. She goes crazy.
She refuses nappy changes (a constant battle for us for a long time) she hates getting dressed, loves getting in water and will stay in it for hours, likes to get her hair wet, but hates getting it washed. Her dummy had almost become a part of her, she needed it constantly. We have now limited it to sleep time and well the first couple of days were the roughest but she's doing okay now...but the tantrums she throws if she can't get it are horrendous.
She has just started daycare and cries and screams for me. They have shown me pictures of her playing and painting with no tears (a small comfort for me I guess) am I doing the right thing sending her?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is has anyone else experienced such extreme meltdowns etc with their toddler and did it pass? Or were there later diagnosis' made??
Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:46 AM
On the face of it, she sounds like a two year old. Of course, you're the one that is living it, and if you feel it's out of the ordinary, it's always worthwhile talking to a professional, such as your MCHN.
There's a good reference somewhere on the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. The big difference is that tantrums have goals e.g. she wants her dummy, while a meltdown implies a totally overwhelming loss of control. From what you've said, it sounds more on the tantrum side of things.
My first was not a tantrum thrower, but my second is making up for it. I have no concerns for a later diagnosis, but I can see that if he were the first I would have had doubts.
My favourite technique with my 2yo is to talk to him about what he's telling me and how he's feeling. He understands the words and feeling heard seems to make him more able to calm himself. It also helps me see that he's really struggling to control his big emotions, which makes it easier for me to bear.
Luckily, he doesn't bite, but he does pinch and scratch viciously. I hate it. I watch very carefully for the danger signs and remove myself when he comes close to it. He then loses it over not being able to scratch, but at least I'm not bleeding.
Edited by mandala, 14 January 2017 - 01:06 PM.
Posted 14 January 2017 - 12:09 PM
It sounds pretty normal to me, although I don't think all kids get it so badly. We are just coming out of a long threenager stage with DS1. He went through a stage of at least a year of biting, scratching, tantrums, refusal to get dressed, allow nappy changes, etc.
We mentioned it to the GP a couple of times who assured us it was normal & suggested the Triple P parenting course, which we did online. When it was ongoing we saw a psychologist who said it was nothing abnormal but gave us some tips to manage it. Apart from keeping a close eye on hunger, tiredness it was being really consistent with consequences & trying to head tantrums off by appealing to the rational brain by discussing emotions before they spin out of control as Mandala mentioned.
Now coming up to 4 years old we are finally seeing our dear, sweet affectionate boy more often than the cranky version!
Hope it passes soon for you. It sucks
Posted 14 January 2017 - 02:32 PM
My DS is not yet two & we are starting to have tantrums so not sure I have any suggestions for most of it.
However, with the crying at Childcare drop off (but then seeing pictures of them happily playing) is exactly what happens with us and he's been in care for a year now. I totally empathise about how hard it is to leave them when they are crying. The last few weeks have been worse as he's moved rooms but even in his old room he'd been in for months he'd have bad drop offs.
Can you wait out of sight to see how long it takes for her to settle or see into the room without her seeing you? Is there anything that she does like that can be used to bribe her- for example DS loves certain songs so the educators will pop them on when he arrives. I also sit with him at one of the activities for a bit to show him it's ok. If drop off is bad I usually call at lunch to see how he is.
How is she when you pick her up? Usually DS only carries on for a few minutes after I leave & is happy when I pick him up.
Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:51 PM
Hey OP. The other thing I'd think about is sensory processing- biting and screaming and meltdowns can each be because a child is blocking out (screaming), seeking (biting) or not coping with (meltdown) sensory information. Given I know absolutely nothing about your wee girl, this may be way off mark, but worth a quick internet search to see if you think it might be contributing??
Posted 14 January 2017 - 11:41 PM
Could she be teething? Seems about the right age for her back molars to sprout and the behaviour sounds a lot like my kids when they were getting their molars. Not biting like you are describing but trying to jam something back there to relieve the pain.
Posted 16 January 2017 - 10:00 PM
Thank you all for your replies... We have an appointment with the paediatrician at the end of the month. I'll keep a diary and see what he has to say. Maybe Hubby and I have just been blessed with a very strong willed little girl?
We'll just continue to take one day at a time I guess.
Thank you again
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