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Single dad and 18


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#1 Mason98

Posted 14 December 2016 - 11:02 AM

Hi Guys!
I'm 18, and single dad to a really awesome 16 month old boy, I'm profoundly deaf though I have cochlear implants, right now I am living without them because my son threw the external part - the sound processors into the bath a few weeks ago. I'm getting new processors soon after a bit of a fight, but it won't be till after new year.

So right now I communicate mainly with Auslan (sign language) while I can still speak back to people I obviously can't hear them so I need to get people to type it out on my iPad or get them to write it, for most people is a deal breaker, most just try and avoid contact with me.

I've had my boy since his release from hospital his mother gave him to me at school one day and told me I have to take him because her parents will not allow her to have him at home.
I finished school with him, with the support of my school looking after him and completing my classes at the same time, and funny thing I think I did better in my last year, I got an OP4, my teachers had in mind it would be more like 15.

Now that's out of the way, I haven't found many single dads on here so far I don't care how old I know I'm not going to find anyone my own age though I know there has to be lots of single dads out there that have primary care of their kids. I'm mainly looking to make contact with other guys.

#2 Silverstreak

Posted 14 December 2016 - 12:09 PM

Hi Mason! I'm a mum, not a dad, but I'm just popping in to say hi and well done on everything so far, you sound amazing! Studying is hard enough at the best of times even without young kids! I bet your toddler is a lot of fun, my DS was very cheeky at that age (and still is).

I hope you get lots of responses here from other guys. EB is a great resource and there's usually someone able to chat any time of the day or night. You could also join a parenting group here, for parents with children your child's age, who are going through the same milestones and there's also a young parents' section too.

Anyway, all the best!

PS, excuse my festive Christmas username change, I'm usually known as Silverstreak!

EFS

Edited by Big hairy bells, 14 December 2016 - 12:49 PM.


#3 Princess VFR

Posted 14 December 2016 - 12:31 PM

Another mum here, also wanting to say welcome and congrats on your achievements and commitment to being a dad.
As Silverstreak above mentioned there is so much help to be gained by joining a parents group for your sons age group.

And don't be scared to ask for help from all the mums here too, you will find no question is too silly to get some helpful advice.

My daughter is 2.5 yrs old but your son sounds just as joyful as my daughter. She too throws out important things of ours!

#4 dad2two_

Posted 14 December 2016 - 12:31 PM

Hi mate, not a single Dad, but a Dad, sounds like you're doing a good job. Plenty of fantastic advice on this forum!

#5 Mason98

Posted 14 December 2016 - 01:01 PM

Thanks for the replies!

We go to a playgroup that has other parents my sort of age but the babies are mostly newborns though there is one mum there that is the same age as me with a toddler more or less the same age as my own.

Most of our days are either spent at doctors because of his on going UTI or at the beach under our beach shelter.
Other mainstream play groups have been unwilling to accept me while my hearing is out of action otherwise I would take him to another group as well.

As for cheeky oh yes. He thinks it's super funny right now to take his left over mashed potato after he's had enough and smear it all over dads face.
I just sit there and give him the look of death, but he has a good time, and never does it until he's finished eating.

#6 Silver Girl

Posted 14 December 2016 - 01:11 PM

I'm a Mum too, but want to wish you all the best and congratulate you on completing your schooling while looking after your little boy.

If you haven't already checked out the 12-24 month forum, you might want to take a look and ask some questions. It's always nice to be able to ask advice about the different stages our little ones go through.

#7 Silverstreak

Posted 14 December 2016 - 01:19 PM

Haha at the look of death! I have this great photo of DS wearing most of his pumpkin puree. It went everywhere!

You may have already done this, but just in case, I've found a link for community access for the deaf community in Qld. They may be able to help you with referrals and playgroups.

http://www.deafservi...ommunity-Access

#8 EvesCristina

Posted 14 December 2016 - 02:31 PM

Mason98, you sound amazing! I hope you are able to find a great posse of other like-minded fathers. This parenting gig is certainly made much easier when you have the support of others to draw on. All the best to you & your son from this EB Mum :)

#9 MadnessCraves

Posted 14 December 2016 - 02:37 PM

Hi OP, not a dad, but a mum with a cochlear implant. I've not had the misfortune of my kid throwing the processors in water luckily, but I can only imagine how easy it could happen!

If you're with the SCIC/RDBI, they should have 'loaners' you may be able to borrow until the new processors come in? Especially if they're on the way! Next time cochlear comes in contact with water, get a hair dryer onto them ASAP, not turning on for a day and they should dry out (had the expirence of accidently putting my own processor in water!)

Otherwise, you can buy water proof covers for them next time you're in or near water so you can still hear and interact with your son.

I wish you all the best with raising him as a single Dad! I have no doubt you'll be just fine.

#10 Mason98

Posted 14 December 2016 - 10:51 PM

 Big hairy bells, on 14 December 2016 - 01:19 PM, said:

Haha at the look of death! I have this great photo of DS wearing most of his pumpkin puree. It went everywhere! You may have already done this, but just in case, I've found a link for community access for the deaf community in Qld. They may be able to help you with referrals and playgroups. http://www.deafservi...ommunity-Access
I so wish I had picked your forum name it's awesome even if it's only for Christmas!!!
I'm aware of DSQ they have been helping but their resources for someone in my situation is a little limited, they aren't aware of any playgroups for deaf parents, that provide Auslan or even with other parents familiar with Auslan.
I haven't taken any photos or videos yet but I really should setup my gopro  one day and post it to Youtube, I rarely have trouble getting him to eat dinner, he also thinks my look of death is quite funny too, I suppose it would be from his point of view since half of my face and head is covered in mashed potato or something similar.

 Madnesscraves, on 14 December 2016 - 02:37 PM, said:

Hi OP, not a dad, but a mum with a cochlear implant. I've not had the misfortune of my kid throwing the processors in water luckily, but I can only imagine how easy it could happen! If you're with the SCIC/RDBI, they should have 'loaners' you may be able to borrow until the new processors come in? Especially if they're on the way! Next time cochlear comes in contact with water, get a hair dryer onto them ASAP, not turning on for a day and they should dry out (had the experience of accidently putting my own processor in water!) Otherwise, you can buy water proof covers for them next time you're in or near water so you can still hear and interact with your son. I wish you all the best with raising him as a single Dad! I have no doubt you'll be just fine.
Yeah most clinics usually have loaners until you can get more hardware, only in my area they are all out of loaners, we tried to resurrect my older Freedom but it wouldn't come to life.
So for the time being it's silence for me, it's not that I mind the silence it's restful but the communication issues it creates makes life very hard, most people are quite intolerant and seem to think I am 'special" and have an intellectual disability because I am deaf. Though now and then some people really surprise you there's some awesome people in the world!
One thing I have learnt you need to name your processors on your house and contents as valuable items or they won't be covered.

#11 melanieb530

Posted 15 December 2016 - 01:44 AM

Hope you find some other Dads and some other parents who use Auslan. My daughter is hearing impaired (just has a bone conductor hearing aid) but is learning Auslan too and knows more signs than me. Good at least that you know Auslan, I know a few children with CIs who aren't learning any Auslan and I think it's always good to have just in case there is a problem with the CIs. Does your son use much Auslan yet - so good for him to have two languages.

#12 Mason98

Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:51 AM

 melanieb530, on 15 December 2016 - 01:44 AM, said:

Does your son use much Auslan yet - so good for him to have two languages.
It's become his first language, he is verbal but communicates with me more by sign, though I'd think his language skills are a bit behind at the moment because I can't communicate with him that way.

#13 MadnessCraves

Posted 15 December 2016 - 07:33 AM

 Mason98, on 15 December 2016 - 06:51 AM, said:


It's become his first language, he is verbal but communicates with me more by sign, though I'd think his language skills are a bit behind at the moment because I can't communicate with him that way.

I wouldn't worry. He will catch up. But you can see if you can get GP to refer him to a speech pathologist to catch up if you want. But ultimately, any playgroup or childcare will have him catching up on speech quickly. I had DD in childcare from two so her speech wouldn't be behind.

#14 Mason98

Posted 15 December 2016 - 11:40 AM

I'd be thinking he will be okay, but I know he has hearing issues too, that I have him booked in to have checked out early next year, but once I am back on the air I'll make more of an effort to catch him up. Though a speech therapist is still a sage piece of advice and serious food for thought, especially considering my speech is less than perfect (you can tell I'm deaf) I really don't want him picking up on my speech habits if I can avoid it.

#15 LambChop

Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:38 PM

As a Mum whose child didn't speak until he was 4.5, Auslan was an absolute life saver and deal maker for communication.  It should be taught at school IMO, so handy for all and so many people 'need' it.

As a result, my son as very strong non verbal 'listening' skills from his years of practise looking at people to communicate, it did nothing but good!

I hope you are teaching your son signing as well as speech ?

To this day (they are 13.5 and 150 I still sign with my kids - instead of screeching across a busy room, I can sign home time or whatever :)

#16 MadnessCraves

Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:41 PM

View PostMason98, on 15 December 2016 - 11:40 AM, said:

I'd be thinking he will be okay, but I know he has hearing issues too, that I have him booked in to have checked out early next year, but once I am back on the air I'll make more of an effort to catch him up. Though a speech therapist is still a sage piece of advice and serious food for thought, especially considering my speech is less than perfect (you can tell I'm deaf) I really don't want him picking up on my speech habits if I can avoid it.

I doubt he will. I do have an accent too, but with childcare and school and tv combined she speaks far better than me! He might initially pick up in speech habits from you but through social interaction that will melt away pretty quickly. My DD is 5 now. She's fine. Your son will be too. :)

#17 Paddlepop

Posted 16 December 2016 - 12:31 AM

View PostMason98, on 14 December 2016 - 10:51 PM, said:

I'm aware of DSQ they have been helping but their resources for someone in my situation is a little limited, they aren't aware of any playgroups for deaf parents, that provide Auslan or even with other parents familiar with Auslan.

I'm not a dad or a single parent but I do have an idea about how you might be able to find out about Auslan-friendly groups. Contact your closest primary school who specialises in children who are deaf or hearing impaired. On the Gold Coast that would be Miami State School.
https://miamiss.eq.e.../Contactus.aspx
Currently schools are closed until late January so you'd have to wait until then. Ask if they know of any playgroups or support groups for families who have Auslan as one of their languages. They will have students there who have deaf parents or the students themselves are deaf and have been to deaf support groups, and should be able to put you in touch with some groups or parents from the school.

I know that the Brisbane City Council libraries do a rhyme time and story time aimed at young children and their parents with an Auslan interpreter for deaf children. If there's something like that on the Gold Coast that might be a good way to meet other parents who are bilingual in Auslan and English.

Edited by Paddlepop, 16 December 2016 - 12:32 AM.


#18 Paddlepop

Posted 16 December 2016 - 12:35 AM

If you put Auslan into the search box on the right hand side of the page, it will show you the Auslan story time sessions in Brisbane libraries.
https://www.brisbane...ry-events#/?i=1

#19 Mason98

Posted 16 December 2016 - 08:51 AM

Hi Paddlepop!
Thanks for doing so much digging, that was really nice of you.

I used to go to Miami state for primary school, I still hear from the teachers there sometimes, and I haven't thought to ask them about play groups, I know how to get in contact even over the holidays so I'll send an email today. Thank you for the idea!

I get free travel on public transit during days so I'll take him up for one of those to Brisbane.




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