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A difficult journey (faith section)
440 replies to this topic
Posted 16 December 2019 - 07:19 PM
That sounds really tough. Could you either go to a friends house or volunteer somewhere so you’re not just sitting at home?
Posted 16 December 2019 - 07:38 PM
I’m so sorry TLE. I am also facing Christmas without my kids for the first time ever (admittedly only half the day but I won’t have any 1:1 time at all as the morning is shared with my ex and the afternoon I will be alone)
It isn’t the way it is supposed to be.
Is there someone at your church who could really use the company? Or something you could volunteer at? Could you book into a hotel close to home with just your DD for a night or two? Perhaps someone would be interested in a house swap? Just something to make the time special.
Posted 16 December 2019 - 09:42 PM
I like the idea of volunteering for someone who is alone - but I also think that the idea of a day of reconnecting with yourself and treating yourself like the beautiful woman that you are is worth considering.
Posted 16 December 2019 - 10:03 PM
I probably should add that I will See Mum on Boxing day and she DD and I are heading away. It's the actual day only I will be alone (although I have 2 sort of options from church I can drop in or another church has a lunch and need volunteers) it's just I'm starting to worry what state I will be in...
Posted 16 December 2019 - 10:07 PM
hugs TLE. Is there someone you can pre arrange to call on the day if you are feeling down?
I think you’re amazing by the way
Posted 16 December 2019 - 10:21 PM
I don't want to draw attention to the situation... I'm pretty sure most will assume I will have the kids but this year I don't. I guess being what would have been a milestone birthday is making it even tougher than Christmas...
Posted 16 December 2019 - 10:46 PM
I don't want to draw attention to the situation... I'm pretty sure most will assume I will have the kids but this year I don't.
It's ok to ask and accept help. You don't "have" to be strong, it's ok to just struggle through it with the support of people that care - whether that care is because they're close to you, or just because you're part of their church family. The phrase "act of grace" came into my head and I can't articulate it, but letting people care is important, not just being the one caring for others.
Posted 16 February 2020 - 01:46 PM
Hi all - long time no post. I got through Christmas and New Year - it was tough but took it one day at a time. The rest of the Summer holidays went way too fast and now back to the craziness of the school year.
Finances are a huge concern atm (even more than usual) Will have many thousands of $$ in medical related costs for the kids in near future. I've tried talking to XH but he is refusing to commit to helping financially. He is also not paying any education costs still... Praying hard that he comes to the party somehow- otherwise I will have to swallow my pride and talk to the boys school about fees or pull them out...
I just have to try and stay positive - every step of the way when things have looked at their worst something has come through.
Posted 16 February 2020 - 03:59 PM
Hi TLE, glad to hear you got through Christmas - I still feel like I’m recovering from mine and it doesn’t begin to compare to your first one without your children (I am a child of divorce and probably should still be thanking God that I never had to have Christmas without my Mum!)
I am going to echo IamtheMumma - take ex out of the equation and you reduce his power, it is worth it to try to talk to the school, from what I gather things like this happen all the time so I very much hope they will help you and your kids.
And if the kids do have to change schools, you will get yourself and them through it. You are filled with amazing strength and grace and I, like many here, admire you greatly.
Posted 16 February 2020 - 08:53 PM
Most schools encourage you to discuss fees with them if you are struggling, TLE. Take that option now and set your mind at rest.
As to the additional medical expenses - surely he will share that too?
Posted 16 February 2020 - 09:24 PM
I'm praying he will help with at least the medical costs- his actions and words late this afternoon were not promising... nor is his track record to help...
Posted 17 February 2020 - 04:57 AM
Sorry - its not his "decision" to help with medical costs with a child. Do you have any court orders? Hows the MIL lever on this one?
Choosing to not pay for your child's private education is one thing (although there as costs involved in even "free" education) BUT choosing to not assist your child with life saving medical intervention is not freaking negotiable.
Screaming on your behalf here.
Edited by Sancti-claws, 17 February 2020 - 04:59 AM.
Posted 25 February 2020 - 09:53 PM
It is almost 4 years since I finally left the marriage! So much has changed (good and bad). What a long and painful journey...
Posted 28 February 2020 - 09:25 PM
It is 4 years today that I finally packed up and left. A huge thank you to everyone who has supported me over the last 4 1/2 years - through the good and bad days.
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