Jump to content

Feeling sad

  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 mandyhope

Posted 09 February 2016 - 06:02 AM

Hi ladies,

I'm new here (just found this page!)

We have a nearly 3 year old who we conceived naturally after 3 months but found that my husband has very low sperm count when trying to conceive #2.  I've had 3 rounds of IVF/ICSI with 3 transfers (currently have 2 frosties on ice) and i'm beginning to lose hope.  In TWW now but dr not confident as this one only just thawed.

Just wondering how you guys keep positive in the face of constant failures?  Our first cycle only got 2 eggs, both fertilised with one transfer at day 2 (BFN).  Second 8 eggs, 6 fertilised, one transfer at day 3 (BFN).  Last cycle in early december had 12 eggs, 8 fertilised and 4 frozen at day 6. The best one from that crop didn't survive thaw and the dr has said the other 2 remaining aren't great quality and feels like IVF may not work for us.  That seems really premature to me as our cycles have been getting better and this is only transfer 3.  I have no idea if I should be optimistic or pessimistic about our chances.  The fact that we have a child already should be in our favour though shouldn't it?

I had a massive breakdown last night when it occurred to me that I may never again be pregnant, breastfeed or any of those things that I just didn't appreciate at the time.  Never in a million years did I think we would be in this position (though I acknowledge that we are luckier than most doing IVF as we already have a child).

Anyway, just wondering if I'm completely bonkers or if these feelings are normal?


#2 Straight*No*Chaser

Posted 09 February 2016 - 03:39 PM

To stay positive, I would concentrate on the fact that you have managed to have a successful pregnancy before, so it is definitely not impossible to have another one.

Maybe it would be worth seeing a different specialist/ getting a second opinion?

IVF is such an emotional rollercoaster ride, regardless of whether you already have children or not.
I think what you are feeling is very normal.

#3 Otis the Pug

Posted 25 February 2016 - 07:07 PM

Sorry you are feeling so down. IVF is tough, there is so much goong on each time you do a cycle. Im surprised your Dr is so negative. He/she ahould be encouraging.

I've been lucky to have a son after 6 cycles, one of them a miscarriage. So I know what the IVF roller coaster is like. Each cycle you've got to think positive thoughts. Especially "it will happen this cycle." I dont know if you are religious or not. But I found lots of Bible quotes useful, like "I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.". I know it gets tougher in the 2ww. But you've got to keep up hope.

Not in a million years did I think that my DH and I would have to do IVF. But its part of our journey, and it makes you strong in character. Each cycle things are improving, I think that shows a lot of hope.

Good luck! I hope this is the one.

Edited by Otis the Pug, 25 February 2016 - 07:10 PM.

3 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 3 guests, 0 anonymous users


'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.


Top 5 Articles


From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.


Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.