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Due in September 2014 Chat Thread #7

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#51 Zebidee

Posted 15 July 2014 - 12:05 AM

Akadia, I think I disagree with your ob on the doula subject. Yes,  of course you'll have a midwife with you for your labour but they won't be anyone you know, they won't necessarily be there for your whole labour (8 hour shifts) and being someone you've never met before or chosen to have there you might not like them. They might have a completely different philosophy and  approach to birth than you. Not everyone wants a doula but the fact that you asked your ob their opinion makes me think you were interested,  so I just thought I'd put that out there for you to consider.

#52 Perpetual Sound

Posted 15 July 2014 - 08:43 AM

The other thing is that a doula is not a midwife, and a midwife isn't necessarily a support person.

The role of a doula is basically someone else to be there for you to support you through the labour and to advocate your wishes on your behalf when you're not in a state to speak for yourself. They are not medically trained and so dont pretend to take the place of a midwife. The doula will stay with you through the entire labour no matter how long it takes.

I didnt have a doula for DS and for this one I have my own assigned midwife through the local country hospital (who happens to be my next door neighbour).
I birthed at a different hospital to what I will this time round - I had a long labour and went through 4 shift changes and therefore 4 different midwives all of whom, I had never met before. Each time DP and I had to try and tell the next MW what we wanted etc. and although they were all lovely, it wasnt their job to rub my back or get ice or whatever I needed to get me through the next contraction. A doula will do that for you as well as give your partner time to step out to go to the toilet or get something to eat etc.

Many OBs and MWs dont have much experience with doulas being present and think that they're there to step on toes and get in the way - but really, a doula is no different to having your mum or some other trusted person there.

Edited by Perpetual Sound, 15 July 2014 - 09:15 AM.

#53 Oh Peanuts!

Posted 15 July 2014 - 10:56 AM

Can't believe some are already packing bags! I originally thought I might do it when on maternity leave - when I'm about 38weeks - but getting a little nervous now that that'll be leaving it too late.

As for the nursery, we live in a 2 bedroom and DH works from home in the 2nd bedroom. So planning on having the little one in our room for a while until we sought out longer term plans. I figure it's no use getting stressed about it now. Other people cope with less, so I'm sure we will work it out. Actually looking forward to having DH at home when I'm on maternity leave, and he's looking forward to having us there, so that's definitely one benefit of the situation.

Not sure I can contribute on the Doula selection. Sounds like a good idea. One of my male work colleagues said he didn't get to go to the toilet for about 30hrs whilst his wife was in labour. Sure that's not healthy! I'll be having a c/section, so haven't really had to think about that stuff - sounds daunting. The main thing with the c/section is that I feel I can't tell people about it. I've heard so many people being judgemental, that I learnt pretty quickly not to say anything. I'm comfortable with my decision (I thought about it a lot!), DH is supportive and my parents are supportive. I haven't been brave enough to tell anyone else. I think one of my good friends did the same, but didn't feel she could talk openly about it. I remember thinking both before and after the birth that it was such a shame she felt she had to hide it. But now I'm in the same position and I feel exactly the same. It's such a pity.

#54 Perpetual Sound

Posted 15 July 2014 - 11:20 AM

NJ - its whatever makes you feel safe. You dont get any medals for the way you birth no matter how the baby comes out. I personally wouldnt choose to have a c/s, but thats only because I have had two previous abdominal surgeries and I know that I dont recover well due to my thyroid stuff. I certainly dont begrudge anyone for choosing one for themselves though - I see it as brave if anything.

I had an amazing  birth with Henry but never felt like I could talk about it either - so many people that I know had 'horror stories' and some really struggled with their traumatic births that I felt like if I had spoken at all about how good my experience was, then I'd possibly be judged as insensitive. Not being able to talk about your own experience IS isolating - everyone else got to tell their story, but because I wasnt unhappy with how mine went, I never felt safe to tell my story.

I now reserve my positive birth story for pregnant ladies - particularly first timers. So many people are so keen to tell your their horror stories, I think that its important to hear the positive stories - no matter how the baby came out!

#55 Oh Peanuts!

Posted 15 July 2014 - 12:55 PM

Thanks perpetual sound. Couldn't agree more! I just want a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy which ever way he comes into the world. And agree that everyone seems to love telling you how horrible/traumatic their experience is. As a first timer, it can be really scary if that's all you ever hear.

#56 Musefan2010

Posted 16 July 2014 - 08:23 AM

I think you should post your positive birth story for us Perpetual Sound.

People tend to only tell the worst kind of stories, and it's nice to have something positive to even it out for once!

#57 Akadia

Posted 16 July 2014 - 10:32 AM

Thank you Zebidee and Perpetual for your advice regarding Doulas - I was actually leaning away from having one, however a friend of mine did so asked my OB whether she thought I needed one, she said of course I can, however because there is one on one midwife, it wasn't necessary. As I'm confident my DH will be able to be my support, I decided against it.

I actually had a great discussion with DH the other night regarding birth - about the birth plan, what to expect and other general information and it was great. He is really supportive and actually had some great suggestions. I'm now really confident that he can provide the support I need to get through the birthing process.

Neuron - re: maternity bag - my bag packing starts this weekend as my DH is away for his 'baby bucks' weekend with his mates - I encouraged him to have a nice weekend away with his friends as the celebration of bubs should be for both of us :). I'm going to hit up Kmart for undies, nighties and good ol' trackies!! I've also decided I'd pack a little bag for 'Daddy' aswell as we don't know how long it will take for the birth so would be nice for him to have some comforts on hand aswell :) The baby bag I'll pack with DH I know he'll want to help choose what goes into that one! One thing - should I be packing 0000 or 000 or both??

Regarding the two bedroom home, there are really great ideas for incorporating bubs into a 1 or 2 bedroom home. The current trend in New York is to convert a wardrobe into a baby nook - essentially you take the doors off the wardrobe, put the cot (and if you have a big enough one the change table, drawers) in the cupboard and decorate inside so its a sweet little area for the baby. Some people put up hooks, hung pictures and put baskets under the cot. Even if you're renting, maybe you could still take the doors off and put them somewhere safe for inspections.

Sorry to hear you are unable to talk with people about your cesarean - as Perpetual said, the important part is that mum and baby are healthy, so whatever you chose shouldn't be judged. Its a shame really.

Perpetual - I agree with Musefan - please put your positive birth story on EB. Its really sad not enough is said around the postive aspects of pregnancy, birth and beyond. I understand the need for people to be able to talk about their trauma, but also think its healthy and shouldn't be taboo for someone to be able to talk about their postive experiences - its become way to negative for my liking.

#58 Zebidee

Posted 16 July 2014 - 12:26 PM

Akadia, I would suggest bringing a few of 0000 and 000. The bonds wondersuits are a small fit so I would imagine most babies would be suited to 000 from birth. I don't think I bothered buying any new 0000 stuff last time and I certainly haven't this time but I do have a stash of second hand 0000 things that I've picked up or been given along the way. My  theory is I don't care if 000 is slightly too big for a few weeks so I won't waste my money on buying any new in 0000  but it's nice to know I have some on hand just in case this baby is smaller than my first.

#59 Perpetual Sound

Posted 16 July 2014 - 12:49 PM

:) Ok - I'll have a dig around for the story that I wrote at the time and post it in a new thread within the Sept 14 DIG.

Re: Two bedroom house - its plenty of room - one room for you/DP, one room for bub. We were living in a 2brm townhouse when Henry was born and although we set his room up, we never used it. We ended up taking the mattress out of the cot and putting it on the floor in our room next to the bed.

This time round we're in a 2.5brm house - we have one room, henry has one room, and baby gets to live in the study. For the first couple of months we will have bub in the bassinet in our room unless its like henry and has reflux - then i will sleep in baby's room with baby and DP can have our bedroom.

#60 Akadia

Posted 16 July 2014 - 04:43 PM

Just a quick one, anyone having noticable weight gain the last couple of weeks now you're in your 3rd Trimester?

I've noticed the last week a ridiculous amount of weight gain - I might even be getting kankles LOL! I'm too afraid to jump on the scales and generally feeling like a marshmallow!

I keep telling myself to think positive, its ok, its part of the process but I have a feeling I'll look like the michelin man by the time I finish.

(FYI: last time I weighed myself a couple of weeks ago - at night - usually do it in the morning but too embarrassed when DH is home - I was 80kg - I started at 63.5kg). I have a programmable scale and it was embarrassing when it identified me as 'guest' with how much weight I've gained!!

I'm scared at what I am now and what I'll be at the end - I still have 9 weeks to go!!

#61 KoalaTeeTime

Posted 16 July 2014 - 05:02 PM

Akadia don't worry- I'm sure your gain is perfectly normal...whatever that means with something as individual as pregnancy! This is the time when baby really packs it on, isn't it? That's what I'm expecting, anyway.

I'm worried because I've stayed the same for the last month...but them I think that between two and one month ago I really stacked on the kg quick so I'm glad to finally be levelling for a bit. FTR I'm hovering just above 91kg now.

I figure we all put it on at different rates, and in different areas so we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves. Much easier said than done, though!!

#62 Perpetual Sound

Posted 16 July 2014 - 05:16 PM

I can definitely say that I look like a marshmellow - but mine I'm pretty sure is all fluid retention. I remember I got all puffy with Henry at the end too.

lol my fingers look like sausages ATM.

#63 Zebidee

Posted 16 July 2014 - 06:06 PM

I'm getting a bit puffy in my feet and hands some days but generally I haven't had a massive weight gain. I did gain a couple of kilos a few weeks ago when hubby and I had a weekend away for his birthday but that was  definitely related to overeating rather than pregnancy.  I know it's hard but please don't try to compare yourself to others. We all do things differently in pregnancy and our bodies all work differently. It's just your body's way of preparing for breastfeeding, it's an evolutionary thing. During pregnancy the body stores fat in case there is a famine after the baby is born so you can both survive of your fat stores until the famine is over.

#64 Akadia

Posted 17 July 2014 - 04:59 PM

Thanks all - I feel much better today, though I did have a mini breakdown last night - my DH asked why and I said cause I can't find the jaffle maker and my ankles are fat! We both had a little giggle!!

As a bonus my cot is taking forever to come in and myBabyWarehouse is having a floor stock sale so I just got the same cot that is currently on the floor for $100 off! Yippee!!

Q: I'm having a baby shower next weekend. I haven't asked for presents but I've already received a couple and I know most people will bring something anyway. I'm getting the cot on the weekend and was wondering if it is a cute or stupid idea to setup the cot in the loungeroom where the baby shower is so if there are presents they can put them inside the cot. My initial thoughts are its cute and I don't think my friends and family would be offended but there is such taboo these days about anything presents - whether it be for a wedding or a baby shower. Thoughts??

#65 Perpetual Sound

Posted 17 July 2014 - 05:20 PM

My initial thought was that it would be a PITA to set up a cot in the lounge room and then potentially have to dismantle it again to get it into the room that you actually intend it being in.... lol but I'm lazy.

I think having some extra space on a table somewhere would be fine.

It is a cute idea though - I'm just not so sure on the practicality of it :)

I'm glad you're feeling better today.

What sort of jaffle maker is it? Is it one of those awesome old school ones that make the triangles and seal the cheesey goodness inside?

hmmmmm now I want cheese and tomato sauce on toast....

#66 Akadia

Posted 18 July 2014 - 10:38 AM

Perpetual: DH can move it upstairs LOL! It hasn't been put together yet so not too bad - plus while DH is away this weekend I need to put together 10 dining chairs so this will be easy for him :)

As for the jaffle maker I'm ashamed to admit it is a $7.50 cheapie from Kmart - as we didn't have a kitchen for so long (just used it for the first time last night YAY), we were thinking outside the box on dinners that didn't requrie any refridgeration so we've been eating jaffles with either baked beans or spaghetti for the last month!!

How is everyone going?

#67 Perpetual Sound

Posted 18 July 2014 - 11:16 AM

lol dont be ashamed - i would have been very impressed if you'd found one of the old triangle ones at an op shop for 50c. Jaffles are delicious!

I'm still sick but I'm making the most of this sun and have just been out talking to our chicken No-no and watering the vegies.

My MW came this morning to do my fortnightly bloods and had a feel of my tummy - bubs is still breech/oblique but I knew that as when I'm not getting kicks to the cervix, I'm getting hit in the pelvis which is less painful than the cervix kicks, but it still doesnt tickle.

We have just been given the go ahead for our bathroom renovations to start on Monday so we're going to move out for a few weeks and live at a resort down the hill in Port Douglas. They say that it will take two weeks, but tradies up here run on FNQ time and I doubt they'll be done before three weeks. As long as its done by the time baby is getting close to being due, i'll be a happy mumma :)

How is everyone else going? We're all pretty much on the home stretch now.

Edited by Perpetual Sound, 18 July 2014 - 11:31 AM.

#68 twilightangel

Posted 18 July 2014 - 01:36 PM

Well I am in for a busy few weeks. Owner of our current house has decided to sell and whilst we have a lease until March 2015 I said to DH I would rather just move now and get it over and done with so we can be settled in the new place before 'sprout' arrives.

We got approved for a property yesterday and DH is picking up the keys today so we will be shifting house this weekend. Crazy on such short notice as 5 kids have a lot of stuff but my MIL and her partner has offered to help and my mum and dad can help occasionally too.

Had my appointment this morning with the head OB of the hospital and he has approved my induction. Can't believe how much more relaxed I am knowing that. So, we officially have an eviction date for this little one. I will be telling my mum and my MIL because either of those two will be watching the kids but I won't be telling anyone else.

The OB was wonderful and really listened to my concerns, he did say if my main concern was delivering another shoulder dystocia baby then he would highly recommend a caesarian but as I am more concerned about baby being delivered at home as all of my labours have been under 3hrs long, unattended and their being complications because she is number 6 he agreed it was safer for me to be in hospital and induced so I can be monitored. I had to agree to some things like having a canular in so they have IV access, being given the needle to help deliver the placenta and being monitored occasionally but I am ok with those because they have been standard in all of my other deliveries too.

In regards to weight gain. Up until 28 weeks I had only gained 4kg. From 28 weeks until current I have put on another 2kg. I was surprised at how quickly I gained those 2kg.

In regards to baby clothes I will be packing 0000 as that is what fits my little ones although both my girls were swimming in 0000's, my boys fit them a little better. My DD who is 8 spent months wearing 0000 clothing even though she weighed 7lb 1oz at birth. Actually at xmas time she was 11 months old and wearing 000's, occasionally 00.

I have brought a few tiny 00000 baby outfits because I am constantly told after scans that this baby is going to be little. If she is born bigger than expected and they don't fit her then I will pass them on to someone who needs them.

I can't believe how close to the end we are getting. I hope everyone has a lovely and hopefully relaxing weekend.

#69 Zebidee

Posted 18 July 2014 - 07:06 PM

I don't feel like I'm on the home stretch yet! I think because I've still got three more weeks of work it feels like AGES away lol. With my first I finished at 33 weeks and I keep thinking that would be next week so another three weeks seems unbearably long! I'm pretty tired because I've been getting into this ridiculous sleep pattern of waking early and not getting back to sleep but my lovely hubby has been letting me have a sleep in if I do go back to sleep that helps.

I'm itching for this pregnancy to be over which is funny, when I was pregnant with Oli I felt like I could have stayed pregnant for ever.  I think it's partly because this pregnancy has been really hard on my body  physically, and partly because I'm quite anxious about how Oli will manage with having a baby around so I just want to get on with it.  Does that make sense? I know this will be my last pregnancy so I'm a bit sad I'm wishing it away.

#70 Possum88

Posted 21 July 2014 - 02:28 PM

Perpetual what happens if bub doesn't turn? I'm a first timer, would they let you have a natural birth or would they push for a c section?

Twilight im tired just reading what you have to get done in the next few weeks. packing a house full is bad enough I couldn't imagine moving 5 kids as well as being pregnant! your a real trooper.
That's really exciting you have a date! I wouldn't tell anyone either as I think its a great surprise for everyone and you don't want the endless questions about bubs arrival and your plans that gets annoying.

Zebidee im working till 37 weeks. I think im crazy now but when I made the decision I thought it wouldn't be that hard.
5 weeks to go..... then hopefully bub doesn't come early so I get a good 3 weeks lazing at home enjoying some time to myself.

We put our nursery together on the weekend. its all looking amazing and turning out exactly how I planned :) Im so proud of my DP he built the chest of drawers and was so patient putting all the furniture together and sticking the wall decals on while I instructed haha.
I cant figure out how to post photos :(

my mum and sister are putting on a baby shower for me in a couple of weeks so I have that to look forward to then cant wait till bub arrives.

hope everyone is well and enjoying the third trimester. xx

#71 Perpetual Sound

Posted 21 July 2014 - 05:32 PM

Twilight - holy hell, I dont know how you do it! I hope your older kiddlies help pack and unpack and not just "help" to pack. I hope the move went well and you DH treats you to a well deserved massage!

Possum - They give you to 36 weeks and then they start to intervene. My friend tried to have her baby manually turned by the OBs at the hospital to try an avoid a csection... unfortunately it didnt work and it was a very traumatic experience for her.

I've been on http://spinningbabies.com/ and have been using their techniques to try and get baby to turn but it hasnt worked yet. My MW said that if we get to 35 weeks then she'll do some heat acupressure therapy.

To be honest though, I find myself so defeated by this pregnancy that I really dont care what happens now. If we get to 36 weeks and they offer to manually turn bub I think I will decline and just book the c/s. The manual manipulation is a very risky procedure and it would have to be done in Cairns.  They can now do c/s at my little country hospital and they let c/s women stay for 2 weeks which is what I would prefer rather than have to deal with potentially having to transfer post surgery from Cairns. At least if I stay at my little hospital, I will be closer to home, DP can stay with me, I will have awesome after care and pain relief, and I dont have to worry about them turfing me out before I can walk.

Zeb - I'm with you completely about wanting this pregnancy to be over. I'm sad that its been such a horrible time as it will be my last pregnancy too, but I just want to be healthy again!
The other thing is that I've spent a lot of this pregnancy being stressed about whether or not this bub is going to be another reflux bub. I just want bub to be here to get on with the situation if it arises, OR to just enjoy my newborn baby in a way that I never got to enjoy Henry!

So - in true FNQ fashion, the tradies have postponed the start of the renovations for a week..... urgh tradies....
We will now be heading down to Port Douglas next week..... or else I'm gonna go all crazy pregnant woman on their arses.

#72 KoalaTeeTime

Posted 22 July 2014 - 09:32 AM

I hope you get to have a relaxing week down in Port, Perpetual :-) they had better not p-ss off the pregnant lady!

I read an interesting article the other day about how pregnant mums are supposed to 'turn' and feel like they just want the baby out of them and are fed up with being pregnant. Something about highlighting the distinction between being pregnant and then having a baby to take care of...it was pretty interesting because I had never thought about it before, but it makes perfect sense.

Before I couldn't understand that feeling, but now I'm starting to understand.

It feels like somebody has given me a swift kick to the vajayjay....is this what SPD feels like? Ow :-(
Not surprising if my pelvis is being spread apart...the measurement of baby's head (which is wedged right down in there) from the scan put it at 37 WEEKS. They even used the term 'macrosomic'. Not cool...humungous baby.

And the first little signs of stretchmarks have popped up under my bump. Such is life, I guess.

#73 Zebidee

Posted 22 July 2014 - 11:44 PM

Oh ow koala! That doesn't sound like fun. As for the humongous baby, scans are notoriously unreliable, hopefully yours was one of the inaccurate ones! What made them want to do a scan?  

With my son, I wanted to be pregnant forever!  I loved it.

I had a moment of sadness tonight. I was sitting on the kitchen floor with Oli and he was wanting me to fix something for him and I wasn't doing it right lol. Through the frustration I was feeling it suddenly hit me that these moments together on our own are limited. It's not going to be long before we'll have very few (if any) proper, special alone moments. I need to cherish the times we are having now but **** me it's hard sometimes when all he wants to do is climb on me or sit  on my belly!

#74 Akadia

Posted 25 July 2014 - 09:52 AM

Perpetual - sorry you're still unwell but its good you're getting out in the sun - will make you feel much better being outside. Exciting about the bathroom renovations, when are they due to complete? Will be nice to have a new bathroom to luxuriate in! That's the one area we're not renovating at the moment!

Twilight: what a busy time for you - you must be relieved to find a house though - hope it was what you were looking for. Good luck on the weekend with the big move. That's great about the induction - I wish I had a date :)

Zeb - completely understand, especially if its been difficult lately - and the thing is its just more excitement after as you'll get to meet your bub! I'm working til 36 weeks so have 3 weeks to go - thank goodness!

Possum - that's exciting about the nursery! I'll need to wait a few more weeks (see AFM below ;) ) but will be fun once we get to set it all up. Might pick up some of my layby this weekend if I have time. Can't help you re: posting photos but I'm sure someone can - I'm dying to see your nursery!!

Koala - I've been lucky so far on the stretch mark front - only a couple on my boobs but I still have a few weeks to go so not sure if I'll get any on my belly!

AFM - our new floors need repolishing thanks to a not so careful tradie and just to be sure we need to be off the floors for at least 2 weeks so going back to no Kitchen from Tuesday next week :( All the furniture I had arriving now has to be postponed - such a pain!!! Lucky I can still have my baby shower this weekend but will need to be careful not to further damage the floors.

Bubs is moving around a lot and still engaged - getting really sore - I think I'm going through another round of stretching. Its like period pain but not cramping just dull aches. Also OB said he's looking really healthy and slightly larger so that's good to hear - though may not be so happy about that during labour LOL

Can't believe I only have just over 7 weeks to go if he goes on his due date - its coming up so quickly. Did some shopping on the weekend for the maternity bag but not much yet - need to get that going while we wait for the house to be ready.

#75 KoalaTeeTime

Posted 26 July 2014 - 10:25 PM

Zeb I had a low placenta so I needed a check, but it's all moved up now at least :-)

Akadia how are you going to get by with no kitchen? What a pain!

Has anybody done the ABA breastfeeding class? What about other antenatal classes?

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