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What you wish you were told before baby #1


66 replies to this topic

#1 Perpetual Sound

Posted 21 January 2014 - 05:18 PM

Hi all,

So there seems to be a really good mix of first time mums-to-be and those of us who are already mums. I have been thinking a bit these couple of days about things that I will do differently for this baby that I wish I had known for my DS... So this is a thread for just that.... Here is my little breakdown of wisdom which I really wish I had been told before having my first baby....

In pregnancy -
1. ROUND LIGAMENT PAIN!!! Oh my god I thought someone had used me as a punching bag and I had no idea what this pain was. For me it started at about 15 weeks and felt like I was completely bruised down both sides of my torso from my ribs to my groin. I freaked out as it was not something I had ever heard about. First time mums... this pain is completely normal.

2. Fainting - also completely normal as your body increases its volume of blood and therefore decreases your blood pressure. I started fainting at around 14 weeks and this continued until about 20 weeks.

3. Leaking boobs - yes you can start to produce colostrum (the stuff your baby drinks for the few days before your milk comes in) quite early. I started leaking colostrum at around 24 weeks. It caught me off guard as I didn't think it would happen until about 8 months.

4. Insomnia - it sucks and you will have people tell you "Its good practice for when the baby comes." This is bullsh*t. When the baby is here you have a reason to be awake. Being awake for hours for absolutely no reason other than you're wide awake is annoying as all get out and absolutely not "practice" for having to turn on newborn autopilot. Unfortunately I have no advise for how to deal with the insomnia as nothing worked for me. Sorry ladies.

Purchases for the new baby

1. Prams - I doubt everyone is going to agree with me here, but I REALLY wish someone had told me not to bother buying a pram until bub was at least 3 months old. DS HATED being in his pram and as he was a reflux baby and couldnt lie down. We carried him in a baby bjorn absolutely everywhere and never used our whizz-bang $700 Strider Plus (which I hate BTW as it is far too heavy and a pain to get in and out of the back of the car). None of my friends who had babies at the same time as me used their prams either so I'm sure its not just me who wishes they had held off on this one big purchase.

2. Baby Bjorn (or sling whatever) - BEST. THING. EVER. The babies love them! This was about the only way I was able to get DS to sleep. If you're breastfeeding you can feed them in the sling, it leaves both hands free to do the housework or whatever it is you need to do. They are also great to use on the plane if you have to fly anywhere. Brilliant!

3. Clothes - aside from those very occasional adorable little outfits you just cant resist to buy.... dont even bother buying clothes. Seriously - when baby is here you will have crates and crates and crates of clothes just turn up on your doorstep and from people you hardly know. Everyone loves a new baby and even if you dont think you know anyone who will buy your baby presents, you will have a mountain of clothes given to you. This includes swimmers. I think DS has about 18 pairs of swimmers of all different sizes that will last him until he's about 6 - none of which I have bought.

4. Cloth nappies - even if you dont intend on using cloth (most people dont) it is worth having a stash of terry towel nappies - they can be used for anything and everything! They are brilliant chuck rags, back up nappies, and I used them to sleep on at night when my boobs were too sore to wear a bra but I would leak milk everywhere. They are worth their weight in gold - and certainly worth the $15 you will spend for a pack from Big W!

5. Baby capsule for the car - if you're in QLD (a lot of us are), you can hire a baby capsule for 6 months for $70 from the QLD Ambulance service. You just book in about 4 weeks before you're due, and they fit them and do a car safety check for you. If you need to hold on to the capsule for longer than 6 months, you can extend the hire period. All the capsules are professionally cleaned between each use and are all up to date with the Australian standards. I found this was a good option for us as DP is 6'5" and so I didnt want to run the risk of having a giant toddler who was going to out-grow the infant to 4yo baby seat like my cousin's baby did. $300 is a lot of money to fork out twice if your toddler outgrows its seat! So yeah - we hired a capsule for 6 months and then bought a Safe 'n Sound "Maxi rider" which is a car seat for 6 months to 7 years.

Purchases for you -

1. Full body pillow - I cannot tell you how much my sleep improved after being given one of these. I had been using a wedge under my belly up until about 34 weeks which helped, but did not help with the lower back pain. The full body pillow is great because you can have the pillow under your belly and then it follows your body so you can also have it between your knees. Because your whole body is "hugging" the pillow, it keeps your back pretty well aligned and if you're usually a tummy sleeper like I am, it gives the same sort of pressure and comfort. I really wish I had one of these pillows from the start. Probably would have helped the insomnia a little bit too.

2. Washable breast pads - Disposable breast pads feel disgusting and sticky and sweaty. They arnt cheap either for the number you have to go through. The bamboo washable pads are really absorbent and are really comfortable. They are also completely breathable and so help prevent cracked nipples and infection. Even if you dont intend to breast feed, these are great pre-birth if you start producing colostrum early. Some people swear by wool pads but I found that these repelled the milk and so I ended up with a bra full of milk whenever I had a let down (milk leaking reflex). Gross.

3. Almond oil - you can buy this from the chemist or health food section. This is a brilliant (cheap) massage oil that is good for preventing stretch marks and for doing perineal massage to prepare for birth. I have no stretch marks and was lucky enough to not have any tears during the birth of DS. I attribute this to part genetics, part almond oil ;)

4. Australian Breastfeeding Association membership - ** this is not a pro-breastfeeding plug, just what I found helpful***
If you intend to breastfeed, I highly recommend joining the association and attending the breastfeeding workshop before baby arrives. I really wasnt confident that I would be able to breastfeed but going to the class and knowing where to go for support made all the difference. It helps just to hear before hand  what its like to breastfeed, what's normal, what's not normal, and that its a learning experience for both you and baby. You BOTH have to learn what to do and it doesn't necessarily come naturally.... the workshop just really filled me with confidence that I would be supported. The ABA hotline is 24/7 run by volunteers and they are fantastic support at 3 am when you're too tired to think and don't know what to do.

When baby is here -

1. Advice - everyone has some to give, whether they have kids or not. Everyone will be well meaning but not everything that everyone says is going to be right for your family. NO ONE including the GP knows your baby better than you do. Follow your instincts. Well meaning advice gets VERY wearing and does absolutely nothing for your self confidence. It can be particularly hard when the advise comes from family members as when you're really tired it can sometimes feel like a personal attack on your parenting. In the end I just started saying "yes yes yes yes" to everyone's 2 cents, but doing what I felt was best.

I found the most helpful way to get information about something I was unsure about was to stalk threads on EB for what other people had done. That way I could see what other people had done in the same situations without having to talk to anyone about it.




That's all I'm going to say about when the baby is here - nothing is going to be a "one size fits all". Follow your instinct - no one knows what they're doing as a first time parent, and expectation and reality are two complete opposites. No one expects the Spanish inquisition!

To all of you who are already mums - please add to this with all those things that you wish that you had been told prior to having baby #1 - or if you have more than 2 babies - what you wish you had been told before baby number #2!!

I hope this thread is helpful and helps alleviate some of those "is this normal?" questions. Happy pregnancy!!

Edited by perpectual_sound, 21 January 2014 - 05:28 PM.


#2 chickchick

Posted 21 January 2014 - 05:26 PM

Just wanted to say, as a mum of 2 - I think the OP has some VERY excellent advice. Wish you had been there to give me this advice before my first! :)

#3 just roses

Posted 21 January 2014 - 05:39 PM

I spent too much time researching birth and not enough time researching how to look after a newborn and how to breastfeed.

I breezed through labour with barely any pain and felt rather cocky about how easy it had all been. Then - that night - holy crap, the baby could cry.

I really did feel at sea and like I was playing catch-up. It's not possible to know what kind of baby you're going to get, but it's certainly worth reading about different parenting styles and working out, ahead of time, what you think might suit you and your family.

#4 Hands Up

Posted 21 January 2014 - 05:40 PM

I'm sneaking in from another DIG to say this list is awesome! Thank you!

#5 Cakenfasten

Posted 21 January 2014 - 05:41 PM

Awesome post OP... I've snuck in from the July DIG, but was totally worth it. You could have put this in the regular pregnancy forums because I think lots will find this helpful... This is my first, so I have nothing to add..

ETA: oh snap, NSG.

Edited by Cakenfasten, 21 January 2014 - 05:43 PM.


#6 Guest_Cat_Blessed_*

Posted 21 January 2014 - 05:46 PM

I wish someone had told me that its not as bad as I thought it would be. If I had know. I would have had kids earlier.

#7 chickchick

Posted 21 January 2014 - 05:50 PM

I wish someone had told me that you can go crazy reading books on how to manage your baby, and trying to get your baby to match what you read in books.

Books are nice, but they are NOT the be all and end all. Break the rules!

#8 Wanting#3

Posted 21 January 2014 - 06:19 PM

Thanks for the post OP, that's awesome about the capsule! I wonder if they do anything in melb!

I bought a everything brand new because I didn't know about the Facebook groups buy and sell. I will defiantly be saving a ton of money second time around, plus we have most of the big items.



#9 heatherdv

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:21 PM

I wish I had known:

Baby carrier.  Why oh why did I not invest in one of these?  This will be my #1 purchase this time.  Especially so I can be hands free chasing a 3 year old around.  Babies love cuddles, boobs, warmth, heartbeats, movement & their mummies!  A carrier ticks all the boxes for settling a baby.

Sleeping in.  Will be unlikely to happen again.  Possibly ever.  If you get a chance to sleep in while pregnant, relish it.  Languish around in bed all day :)

Clothes shopping.  Do lots before the baby arrives.  Expect to be a size heavier for a while so buy a new wardrobe in a size up.  You can wear the new clothes through your 2nd trimester and for a year after you have the baby.  What you won't have post baby is leisurely time to shop for yourself.

Forums, mothers groups, playgroups & hanging out at the local playground.  The best support network you can have.  In 2 years time most of your closest friends will have been met in one of these places.  

Kids are clingy.  Expect to feel suffocated emotionally.  You know that boyfriend you had once who liked you just a bit too much & wouldn't leave you alone?  Babies are like that.

Nappy changes.  These will slow down.  It doesn't remain at the rate of 10 per day for very long.  

Crying.  Will slow down.  Once they are preschoolers they mainly just whinge :)

Sleeping.  Will improve.  Just not as quickly as you want it to!

Mainly going into #2 I will be reminding myself (over and over) that it gets easier as they get older.

#10 elemeno

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:27 PM

Thanks girls! Keep it coming!

#11 Kathtan

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:30 PM

Here's a few things I wish I knew befor #1 arrived:

The only thing I recommend getting new is the car seat (either straight up or after you've hired the capsule). Everything else can come from friends, FaceBook, eBay and gumtree. With my first we spent too much money getting new things. With number 2 (6years later) we spent a total of $300 on everything (not the car seat).

No matter how you "plan" for the birth to go, be prepared for things to change. You can have your favourite scented candle packed but once you light it it may be the most horrible smell in the world. Same goes for music. I was planning to have my DH massage my back through the contractions but as soon as I was in labour I couldn't stand anyone touching me. When I had number 2 my DH stood up to the pushy midwife and said I didn't like being touched. I was chuffed that he remembered after 6 years.

DON'T GET A CHANGE TABLE AND BATH COMBO! You think it will be really handy having the table which you just flip up and it's a bath, but it turns out to be the most annoying thing ever. You end up having a slippery baby in your arms while trying to convert it back and then the towel gets caught in the water and it all goes downhill from there. 2nd time around we opted for an Ikea bath inside our bath with us sitting in the floor. Much easier.

There are others but I can't think at the moment so I'll come back later with more.

#12 Ritaroo

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:33 PM

Lay off the cake. It is much harder to lose baby weight than normal weight gains.

#13 Kathtan

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:33 PM

I just asked my DH. He says that the helpers in the birthing room must remember that the pregnant lady is in charge. No matter what you both planned before if she changes her mind just go with it. (He gave me that without me telling him what I had written earlier!!  He knows me so well!!)

#14 TotesFeral

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:39 PM

Just on the baby carrier note, bjorns are actually really bad for babies hips. Slings or carriers such as the ergo or manduca are better as they cradle baby with their legs in a better position than just dangling down.

Also, I highly recommend rear facing babies for as long as possible! It is so much safer than forward facing. Hiring a capsule is great, we did it, but you don't have to then chuck them into a forward facing seat at 6 months :)

And agree with PP about the birth. It's great to have an idea of how you would like it to go, but just keep an open mind that things may go in a completely different direction!

#15 lynneyours

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:41 PM

I wish I'd been told:
* that you have a show in/when labour is close.  There could be lots of blood.  I freaked when I found fresh blood running down my legs.

* all those 'rules' - "I will not be doing THAT when I have MY baby" - keep them to yourself so no-one laughs at you later for breaking them all... ;)

* sox-on.  Brilliant invention that keep baby sox on, even when they pull the toes.

* a bassinet is a waste of money.  They last a few months at best.

* that your children are funnier than anyone you know and you will want to spend all your time with them.  At least until they turn 2 or 3. :)

#16 Beeeeeez

Posted 21 January 2014 - 07:52 PM

Perpectual_sound and other girls THANK YOU so much for these very useful tips! God I need them for sure!

Edited by biancabee, 21 January 2014 - 07:53 PM.


#17 ~JASB~

Posted 21 January 2014 - 08:08 PM

View PostTotesAmazeballs, on 21 January 2014 - 07:39 PM, said:

Just on the baby carrier note, bjorns are actually really bad for babies hips. Slings or carriers such as the ergo or manduca are better as they cradle baby with their legs in a better position than just dangling down.

Also, I highly recommend rear facing babies for as long as possible! It is so much safer than forward facing. Hiring a capsule is great, we did it, but you don't have to then chuck them into a forward facing seat at 6 months :)


Yep :)  The longer you can rear face, the better.  Baby is so much safer rear facing.  And you don't have to spend a fortune.  You can get an Infa Neon for $168 and rear face well into baby's 2nd year.  I would not be using a maxirider for a 6 month old.

#18 ABabyPlease

Posted 21 January 2014 - 08:17 PM

I think a pram is critical, even in the first few months.  It was my life-saver for getting out of the house.

Everything will get easier...  And then harder and then easier again.

I wish I had listened to everyone who told me to cook and fill the freezer with meals before the baby comes.

It is much better with the baby out than being pregnant.

Ask professionals whenever you have a query.  I found the 24hour MCHN helpline my total lifesaver.

PND is not a life sentence, so if you're feeling a bit blue, talk to your nurse or GP early.

If you want to breastfeed, the most important thing is to be persistent.  Ask for help if needed, it will get better.

Your baby is only young for such a short time, enjoy every minute.... Even when you are so tired you cry.


#19 sodawaterbubbles

Posted 21 January 2014 - 08:25 PM

View Postperpectual_sound, on 21 January 2014 - 05:18 PM, said:

Hi all,

So there seems to be a really good mix of first time mums-to-be and those of us who are already mums. I have been thinking a bit these couple of days about things that I will do differently for this baby that I wish I had known for my DS... So this is a thread for just that.... Here is my little breakdown of wisdom which I really wish I had been told before having my first baby....

In pregnancy -
1. ROUND LIGAMENT PAIN!!! Oh my god I thought someone had used me as a punching bag and I had no idea what this pain was. For me it started at about 15 weeks and felt like I was completely bruised down both sides of my torso from my ribs to my groin. I freaked out as it was not something I had ever heard about. First time mums... this pain is completely normal.

2. Fainting - also completely normal as your body increases its volume of blood and therefore decreases your blood pressure. I started fainting at around 14 weeks and this continued until about 20 weeks.

3. Leaking boobs - yes you can start to produce colostrum (the stuff your baby drinks for the few days before your milk comes in) quite early. I started leaking colostrum at around 24 weeks. It caught me off guard as I didn't think it would happen until about 8 months.

4. Insomnia - it sucks and you will have people tell you "Its good practice for when the baby comes." This is bullsh*t. When the baby is here you have a reason to be awake. Being awake for hours for absolutely no reason other than you're wide awake is annoying as all get out and absolutely not "practice" for having to turn on newborn autopilot. Unfortunately I have no advise for how to deal with the insomnia as nothing worked for me. Sorry ladies.

Purchases for the new baby

1. Prams - I doubt everyone is going to agree with me here, but I REALLY wish someone had told me not to bother buying a pram until bub was at least 3 months old. DS HATED being in his pram and as he was a reflux baby and couldnt lie down. We carried him in a baby bjorn absolutely everywhere and never used our whizz-bang $700 Strider Plus (which I hate BTW as it is far too heavy and a pain to get in and out of the back of the car). None of my friends who had babies at the same time as me used their prams either so I'm sure its not just me who wishes they had held off on this one big purchase.

2. Baby Bjorn (or sling whatever) - BEST. THING. EVER. The babies love them! This was about the only way I was able to get DS to sleep. If you're breastfeeding you can feed them in the sling, it leaves both hands free to do the housework or whatever it is you need to do. They are also great to use on the plane if you have to fly anywhere. Brilliant!

3. Clothes - aside from those very occasional adorable little outfits you just cant resist to buy.... dont even bother buying clothes. Seriously - when baby is here you will have crates and crates and crates of clothes just turn up on your doorstep and from people you hardly know. Everyone loves a new baby and even if you dont think you know anyone who will buy your baby presents, you will have a mountain of clothes given to you. This includes swimmers. I think DS has about 18 pairs of swimmers of all different sizes that will last him until he's about 6 - none of which I have bought.

4. Cloth nappies - even if you dont intend on using cloth (most people dont) it is worth having a stash of terry towel nappies - they can be used for anything and everything! They are brilliant chuck rags, back up nappies, and I used them to sleep on at night when my boobs were too sore to wear a bra but I would leak milk everywhere. They are worth their weight in gold - and certainly worth the $15 you will spend for a pack from Big W!

5. Baby capsule for the car - if you're in QLD (a lot of us are), you can hire a baby capsule for 6 months for $70 from the QLD Ambulance service. You just book in about 4 weeks before you're due, and they fit them and do a car safety check for you. If you need to hold on to the capsule for longer than 6 months, you can extend the hire period. All the capsules are professionally cleaned between each use and are all up to date with the Australian standards. I found this was a good option for us as DP is 6'5" and so I didnt want to run the risk of having a giant toddler who was going to out-grow the infant to 4yo baby seat like my cousin's baby did. $300 is a lot of money to fork out twice if your toddler outgrows its seat! So yeah - we hired a capsule for 6 months and then bought a Safe 'n Sound "Maxi rider" which is a car seat for 6 months to 7 years.

Purchases for you -

1. Full body pillow - I cannot tell you how much my sleep improved after being given one of these. I had been using a wedge under my belly up until about 34 weeks which helped, but did not help with the lower back pain. The full body pillow is great because you can have the pillow under your belly and then it follows your body so you can also have it between your knees. Because your whole body is "hugging" the pillow, it keeps your back pretty well aligned and if you're usually a tummy sleeper like I am, it gives the same sort of pressure and comfort. I really wish I had one of these pillows from the start. Probably would have helped the insomnia a little bit too.

2. Washable breast pads - Disposable breast pads feel disgusting and sticky and sweaty. They arnt cheap either for the number you have to go through. The bamboo washable pads are really absorbent and are really comfortable. They are also completely breathable and so help prevent cracked nipples and infection. Even if you dont intend to breast feed, these are great pre-birth if you start producing colostrum early. Some people swear by wool pads but I found that these repelled the milk and so I ended up with a bra full of milk whenever I had a let down (milk leaking reflex). Gross.

3. Almond oil - you can buy this from the chemist or health food section. This is a brilliant (cheap) massage oil that is good for preventing stretch marks and for doing perineal massage to prepare for birth. I have no stretch marks and was lucky enough to not have any tears during the birth of DS. I attribute this to part genetics, part almond oil ;)

4. Australian Breastfeeding Association membership - ** this is not a pro-breastfeeding plug, just what I found helpful***
If you intend to breastfeed, I highly recommend joining the association and attending the breastfeeding workshop before baby arrives. I really wasnt confident that I would be able to breastfeed but going to the class and knowing where to go for support made all the difference. It helps just to hear before hand  what its like to breastfeed, what's normal, what's not normal, and that its a learning experience for both you and baby. You BOTH have to learn what to do and it doesn't necessarily come naturally.... the workshop just really filled me with confidence that I would be supported. The ABA hotline is 24/7 run by volunteers and they are fantastic support at 3 am when you're too tired to think and don't know what to do.

When baby is here -

1. Advice - everyone has some to give, whether they have kids or not. Everyone will be well meaning but not everything that everyone says is going to be right for your family. NO ONE including the GP knows your baby better than you do. Follow your instincts. Well meaning advice gets VERY wearing and does absolutely nothing for your self confidence. It can be particularly hard when the advise comes from family members as when you're really tired it can sometimes feel like a personal attack on your parenting. In the end I just started saying "yes yes yes yes" to everyone's 2 cents, but doing what I felt was best.

I found the most helpful way to get information about something I was unsure about was to stalk threads on EB for what other people had done. That way I could see what other people had done in the same situations without having to talk to anyone about it.




That's all I'm going to say about when the baby is here - nothing is going to be a "one size fits all". Follow your instinct - no one knows what they're doing as a first time parent, and expectation and reality are two complete opposites. No one expects the Spanish inquisition!

To all of you who are already mums - please add to this with all those things that you wish that you had been told prior to having baby #1 - or if you have more than 2 babies - what you wish you had been told before baby number #2!!

I hope this thread is helpful and helps alleviate some of those "is this normal?" questions. Happy pregnancy!!

I love you for this! I am in my third pregnancy and this is the first time I am having round ligament pain!! I posted a thread on EB asking about it and NO ONE responded so I was really freaking out. Isn't it awful?! Aurgh..thanks so much for normalising it for me!

#20 Perpetual Sound

Posted 21 January 2014 - 09:27 PM

Thanks for all your imput so far ladies!

Just as a disclaimer RE the Maxi-rider car seat - my baby ended up taking after me in the growth department (I'm 4'11") and stayed a pipsqueak - we ended up hiring the capsule until he was 10 months and 9kg which was when we put him in the Maxi-rider.

RE the Baby Bjorns - thanks for the info! I didnt know that about their positioning not being good for them! I'll have to investigate the Ergo for this baby.

RE the change table/bath - I COMPLETELY AGREE!! In fact, I would go so far as to say dont even bother with a baby bath at all! They're a pain and it was so much easier to take DS into the shower with us.

Electric Vs Manual breast pump - I got a manual breast pump thinking that I wouldnt be expressing that much. What I didnt realise is that once your let down reflex isnt as sensitive after 3 months (which is when a lot of women need to start expressing), its REALLY difficult to express and can take a lot of effort for such a little amount of milk. I bought an electric pump of gumtree and it was SUCH a good purchase. I found that if I had DS on one side, I could use him to trigger my let down reflex and pump on the other side while he was feeding. The difference was being able to squeeze out 10mL with the manual pump Vs 250mL with the electric pump (per boob!!). If DS wasnt around to help me pump, then I found reading the breastfeeding forums a good way to trigger the let down reflex.


And for those of you who will be unfortunate to have an acid reflux baby (hopefully none of you, but its fairly common)..... I cannot stress enough to go with your instincts on this - IT IS NOT NORMAL for a baby to scream until its voice breaks :( yes babies cry - but a baby with reflux will maybe have a break of 10 mins in every 2 hours. You will have people tell you "babies cry, just let him/her cry it out...", or "he/she is overstimulated"...These people do not live in your world of relentless screaming and no sleep. I was prepared for crying but I was not prepared to have a baby in pain. It was heartbreaking and isolating.
As first time parents we had no idea. When we saw our community health nurse when DS was 3 weeks, she took one look at him and referred us immediately - that moment was bittersweat in that we were devistated to learn that he was indeed in pain, but at the same time I have to confess that I was just a little bit relieved to hear that it wasnt our fault and that we really were doing all that we could do.
It is so important to get a referral to a Peadiatrician. As horrible as it is to have to medicate your baby, it is absolutely worth it for that moment when your baby stops screaming and can actually open its eyes to interract with you.
Sorry that I have gone on about this for so long now - its just that out of absolutely everything, THIS is truely the part of having a newborn that I was completely unprepared for. I know that "things could have been worse" and all that jazz, but for us, in that time, we were lost and desprerate and alone in our experience. I truely would not wish it on anyone, but please - if you do find yourself having a similar experience, dont hesitate to ask for help, even if there really isnt anything wrong - its so worth it to ask for help just for your own piece of mind!!

#21 coolbreeze

Posted 21 January 2014 - 10:23 PM

Don't be anxious to get to the the next stage with your baby...each developmental stage goes by in a blink of an eye really.
With my first I was always waiting for the next stage to start...with my second I was more in the moment.
Enjoy every stage for what it is.
Also babies cry, it not that you are doing anything wrong. If they are clean, feed, warm and safe and you have really had enough of crying..take the baby out in the pram for a long walk or baby sling. If you have really had enough put the baby in the cot and take a hot shower and regroup. you will all be fine and everyone willl survive!
If you are breast feeding make sure your babies latch is right every time anything less ouch and cracked nipples!
sleep when the baby is asleep and take all offers of pre cooked food. or help around the house. Get out for a walk every day and if you have one of those lovely little ones that sleep in a pram enjoy a coffee at a cafe before they get to the stage of toddlers when they don't sit still longer than 5 seconds!
CB

my mantra...the days are long but the years are short!
DD-10
DS-5

Edited by coolbreeze, 21 January 2014 - 10:32 PM.


#22 Lou-bags

Posted 22 January 2014 - 01:54 AM

Not my DIG (I had DS in September just gone), but these are great!

Mine to add are:
(sorry to bring the tone down they are so negative, but this is what I wish I had known. I would have coped better if I knew it was ok to feel this way and that I wasn't the only one! I'm not saying these will definitely happen for you, and I sincerely hope they don't!)

- baby blues happen.
They can happen HARD. A few people told me "oh you'll feel a bit teary for a couple of days" and that was all I heard about it. You may be lucky and get none. You may get them mildly.
For me it was either a devastating, overwhelming sadness or a creeping anxiety that hit me every few hours from day 5 (when my milk came in properly) until day 11. Lots of crying. Over silly things ("there's no food for the dog", "the sun is setting"), and big things ("am I feeding him properly/enough/too much", "why won't he stop crying, I don't know what he needs")
They will pass.
(and if they don't, that's ok, seek help early. You are not alone)

- that you may not feel that all consuming love for your child immediately following birth.
All I felt was exhausted and relieved that the pain and hard work had stopped. I looked at this little baby boy on my chest and I thought- "oh, there you are". And that's pretty much it. Its ok if you feel that way. That instant love thing doesn't happen for everyone. Love grows (and grows and grows).

- that the first few weeks might be hard, depending on what kind of baby you end up with. Remember these words: "this, too, shall pass".

And the big one. That despite all of this, it is the most amazing, wonderful, powerful experience and that you are doing a GREAT job. Trust yourself.

Best of luck mummas to be!

Edited by Lou-*, 22 January 2014 - 01:57 AM.


#23 HGL

Posted 22 January 2014 - 02:30 AM

Sorry, not in your DIG but I wanted to add...

If you have an episiotomy you'll feel so swollen and sore and that your vagina will never be the same again.... the swelling will go down and you won't even notice a difference in a couple of months. Also, while it might feel like it, doing a poo will not tear your stitches, no matter how constipated you are.

You'll bleed ALOT after the birth. You'll bleed so much that in the time it takes to turn off the shower, there will already be blood on the tiles. Have a wad of tissues ready to stem the flow until you get a chance to dry off and pull your knickers and pad on.

Most breastfeeding tops and dresses are actually pretty inpractical, uncomfortable and unfashionable. Buy nursing singlets like Bonds and wear them underneath your existing tshirts. That way you can pull your tshirt up and not expose your tummy.

Take a photo of bub every month (birth anniversary is ideal) so you can see how much they grow from month to month.

If you've never held a baby, changed a nappy or dressed a baby before now, borrow a friend's/relative's baby and get some practice in now. Yeah, you'll pick it up quickly post birth but there's enough going on without stressing about the practical stuff in the early days. It will do wonders for your confidence. Same goes for your partner.

An electric toothbrush can help solve a blocked milk duct. Get immediate treatment if you think you might have mastitis. It happens fast.

#24 Mummachef

Posted 22 January 2014 - 05:52 AM

I wish people had told me that breast feeding is hard. For some people it is very hard. It takes a lot of time and patience to become successful in breast feeding.

Try not to judge other parents/mums, you will find that the thing you are judging them for, you will probably end up doing yourself.

#25 Hellbent

Posted 22 January 2014 - 06:03 AM

I wish someone had told me how much fun it would be, no one ever tells you that. It's just all sleepless nights and sore nipple stories.



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