Homebirth mums and mums to be #3
Homebirth mums and mums to be #3
, Dec 04 2003 12:43 PM
231 replies to this topic
Posted 16 January 2004 - 07:52 AM
Rachel, glad to hear your feeling better - I can't wait! As for what to do with DD at bubs birth I have a couple of ideas. If she's not comfortable then she can go to our friends place - only 10 mins away. I like for her to stay and for this I think my cousin might be the right person. I know she'll be fine with HB ( she's the only person I know that achieved 3 natural births in hospital - even if it did mean getting her DH to tell the OB to "put down the scapel" !!) Anyway that's the plan at the moment.
Janet - thanks for the advice. I think sitting them down to tell them is just the start. Hopefully as they meet our midwife and have time to ask their questins things will fall into place. So was your DD born at home then? If so have you posted a birth story? cause I'm sure I would be a wonderful read.
DH Damian (26)
DD Cara Therese 24/05/02
Posted 16 January 2004 - 12:30 PM
I just posted my birth story a couple of days ago! You can see it at the birth stories thread now, called "Birthing Milo".
We did end up transferring to hospital after about 16 hours at home, but I was still happy with the whole experience thanks to my excellent midwives supporting me every step of the way.
Posted 16 January 2004 - 07:42 PM
Just thought I'd introduce myself and add my 2 cents! I'm currently 17weeks pregnant with my 2nd. DD is 3yrs and we're planning a homebirth with the CMP in Perth. So far I'm finding homebirth care fantastic and am getting more and more excited about the big day!
I too was a bit worried about telling my family that we were opting for a homebirth as DD was born in hospital. When telling my Mum (who I thought would be the most likely to disapprove) I just explained my reasons behind going with hb and pointed out how wonderful it was and reminded her how close we live to the hospital if something did go 'wrong'. I was really quite suprised about how positively she reacted!
As for booking into the hospital my midwife suggested getting my GP to help organize it as he is very open minded about hb and has visiting rights to the hospital we want to booked in to and also delivers babies (apparently quite uncommon in Perth!). I guess I'm lucky to have a doctor who's so supportive!
I'd also like to mention that I too am worried about what to do with DD at the birth. I really want her to be there and have no worries about preparing her but haven't found someone to be her support person. Being young myself most of my friends haven't got kids of their own and freak out about being present at the birth. My family lives 400kms away so that rules them out too. My only possibility at the moment is also a cousin who's pretty open-minded and easy going but I'm a bit scared to ask!
Anyway hopefully all of this will work itself out!
I hope you all don't mind me butting in and blabbing on... it's nice to have somewhere to talk about all this hb stuff.
Thanks for listening
DP Marc (22)
DD Sophie 17/11/00
Bub due 27/06/04
Posted 17 January 2004 - 06:11 AM
Have just got back from a relaxing holiday up in Queensland, we took the children to Sea World on our last day and they had a great time natrually I couldnt go on the rides this time being now 33 weeks,( dont want to start labour just yet LOL!) but there were some great shows and plenty of photos to take!
As for children at the birth its a very individual thing and only you know your children, I had my then 7 and 3 year old at my last home birth the 7 year old now 11 still retells the story but my daughter then 3 cant remember any of it. Am planning on having all 3 there this time, however they could all be at school or preschool if it happens during the day for a change. Our midwife was great in preparing the children there are some great books "Hello Baby" and "Runas Birth" which are both beautiful our local library has them as well.Our midwife also lent us a lovely homebirth video and went through how the baby comes out, with a plastic doll and pelvis the doll even had a cotton placenta attached to its belly button!
Well take care everyone,
DS (92)9lb 1oz
DS (00)9lb 6oz (37weeks)
DS (due March 04)
Posted 17 January 2004 - 01:46 PM
ok.. now that i am pregnant (YAY!) time to stop lurking and start asking.....
First question i have is (and i really hope no one minds me asking this.. i undertsand it is a very personal thing so if you would like to tell me but not post it for the world to see, feel free to PM me).. approximately how much does a Home Birth Cost ( i am in Brisbane, if that makes a difference). We are only a low income family, with no private health insurance. I really do love the thought of a home birth though, and i recently recieved a compensation pay-out, and an iheritance, which means that if we wanted to we could use some of that money for a Home Birth. DP's only concern is if the cost is warranted (ie. would it be better just to have a public hospital birth, is it worth the cost?).
DS Jackson 29 August 2002
#2 EDD September 23 2004
Posted 17 January 2004 - 03:02 PM
Us lucky buggers here in Perth WA don't have to pay anything for our hb's thanks to a Community Midwife Program funded by the government. Unfortunately no other states have followed our lead and sadly at the moment the CMP and all us hb supporters are fighting for the funding not to be cut (bloody government!). Anyway I've heard from mums in other states that their homebirths have cost somewhere between $2000-$3000 this includes all your antenatal care, the birth, visits after the birth up to Day 10 and the six week checkup. Unfortunately I've been told medicare doesn't cover any of this expense and only some private health insurance policies do. There's a number you can call to get the details of your local Midwife branch in your state which is (03) 9804 5071 and that's the number of the Australian College Of Midwives, maybe they could give you a better idea. So far I'm loving my midwife care and finding it so much more personal than with my first pregnancy but I can't compare the births yet! I hope some of this info might help! Goodluck!
Hi Terri, just wondering did you have an extra support person there for your kids or did they sort of support each other?
Hope everyone's having fun!
DP Marc (22)
DD Sophie 17/11/00
Bub Due 27/06/04
Posted 18 January 2004 - 01:55 PM
Wow! It's really eciting to have some action on the HB thread! Lots of posts to read!
Congratulations Sari - HB's can cost anywhere from nothing (lucky WA'ers!) to upwards of $2000. Every MW is different, and some believe in making HB accessable to women who would otherwise use the public system (as does mine, what a gem!) I would suggest doing your research in the area... do you know of anyone else who's had a HB in the area? Perhaps speak to a MW at a local birthing centre who may know HB midwives? It can be tough to find the right person, but then sometimes they just fall right into your lap.
These things have a way of working themselves out if it's what you really want.
Interesting stuff re. other siblings at the birth. I think the books are great, but my April will not even be 2 when baby is due, so I am concerned that she will just want mummy! Or how she may see it when I am howling my head off!!!! ah dear.
Great to see some new mums and babes here...
Posted 19 January 2004 - 07:55 AM
Just having a quick read of this thread (which is a subject close to my heart as many of you know) and had a few thoughts about sibling support. My then 2 1/2 year old was there at the birth of my youngest, and we were lucky enough to have my Mum and brother living right next door at the time, so she just wandered around with him, and brought him in at intervals to see what was going on, and then right at the time of the birth. He was so calm, telling me that he could see the baby had hair (under the water), really didn't miss a beat. We talk about it often, and he says he still remembers Jake being born.
When considering a support person for Sam, I thought long and hard about someone who I would be thrilled to share in my birth, but who wouldn't be upset if they needed to be somewhere else with Sam, and missed it all. I suppose if you don't have family close by that can be hard. Maybe a friend who you can involve in the antenatal care, so they feel a part of it, get to know your midwife etc, can ask questions and begin to get a bit comfy with the whole thing. The other idea I had was maybe a doula, some in training have minimal charges, and they are really there for whatever you need them for. So while they get experience of being at a birth, they may also share the responsibility for your older child/ren. One other thought was that there are student midwives around, many of whom wish to link up with women and follow them through their pregnancy and birth, as part of their course requirement. While I'm not advocating that they be used as a babysitter (and that goes for the doula too), just having another person there who has got to know your family during your pregnancy, and who you trust with your child, may be the support you need to get you all through. They are there primarily in an observational role, and there are plenty of them out there who are just dying to be involved in something other than the overmanaged, techno-style hospital births that we all know happen. The college of midwives should be able to put you in touch with course co-ordinators in your area.
Hope this helps in some small way!
Take care all, and happy birthing!
DS Sam 30/01/99 10lb
DS Jake 30/07/01 10lb 3oz
Both born peacefully and safely at home....Babies are born, pizzas are delivered!
Posted 19 January 2004 - 01:02 PM
Thanks for your thoughts/info Tania.
I had actually considered using a doula or student MW if they were into it. My cousin is actually a 3rd year mid student, so that is a possibility.
I'm going to have a chat with our MW next visit and find out her thoughts too. A couple of other women I have considered I think will be pregnant at the time, so I wouldn't ask them, as it I feel it is too much to ask them to stay up all night if necessary, or perhaps put them through something they don't need to be put through. Anyway, all part of the exciting planning when you take resposibility for the whole thing!
Love to all
Posted 26 January 2004 - 06:55 PM
Had a wonderful appointment with my midwife ( am now 34 weeks)I asked so many questions we were there over an hour, you wouldnt get that with an ob! Anyone would think I hadnt had a baby before but each one has been so different.
Emma I didnt have anyone anyone to support the children last time, most of the time they were asleep. However my hubby had to attend to their needs which although werent much,(just a drink and some reassurance about all the noise I was making) meant he was leaving my needs, all be it only a hand to squeeze and a back rub/massage with the labour pains. SO this time I definitly want someone there just for the children. At the time I remember worrying about my daughter who was 3 and such a chatterbox I thought she would chatter on to me throughout and I need to be able to relax go with the flow into labourland and not be asked lots of questions. As it turned out she slept.
Im in Sydney and we are paying $2000 for our homebirth and yes it is worth every cent.
Here is a number you can phone in Brisbane, to find out how much the midwifes charge there:Home Midwifery Assocation (Qld) Inc
details of local homebirth midwives throughout QLD ph: (07) 3839 5883.
I just loved the feeling of my babies hair lapping on my leg at our last waterbirth, something so unique and special, am looking forward to it again in around 6 weeks.
Take care all
DS (92)9lb 1oz
DS (00)9lb 6oz (37weeks)
DS (due March 04)
Posted 28 January 2004 - 01:01 PM
Terri - wow you're really getting close now. How exciting!
Nik - how was your first meeting with your MW?
Sari - Any updates on your decision for a HB this time?
We are 21 weeks now - past the halfway mark! I am still feeling pretty good - a bit sluggish, but I feel that carrying the extra weight is really noticable as I'm a pretty slim person normally. (have no idea what I weigh though as I don't weigh myself - much to the disguist of my MIL & SIL's!!!)
We are starting April at a Montessori toddler group for 2 hours tomorrow. I will stay with her and enjoy playing in the peace and quiet! No phone ringing and no housework! So that's rather exciting for us.
We have another MW visit coming up soon which will be nice, and I'll look forward to a chat about April's carer for the birth. No real issues for me... lots of lovely movements from baby. I am going to get some hypnosis prior to the birth just to help me relax and stay relaxed and calm once baby is born. I was a bit anxious and strung out last time.
Took me ages and a fair few massages and hypnotherapy sessions to 'let go' or calm down, or whatever it was that I needed to do... just get used to being a mum I think.
It was a bit of a tough transition for me but I am there now and I love it.
(Gosh listen to those pregnancy hormones!!!)
Happy Hormones to all!!!!
Rachel & April.
Posted 28 January 2004 - 09:02 PM
Hi, my name is Ali and I think it is time I introduced myself instead of constantly lurking!!
I have 4 children, the eldest and youngest were hospital births and the middle two were homebirths in NZ (where it is also free!). Giving birth at home was the most liberating and fulfilling thing I have ever done. It taught me so much about what a woman is capable of doing if given the confidence, encouragement and loving support that is offered by a HB midwife.
Because I got so much out of my homebirths I decided to train to become a Doula. This is one of the best jobs in the world, apart from being a Mum of course! I get to support loads of very different people birthing in many different settings and ways. It is the most amazing thing watching a baby being birthed.
Anyway, what I wanted to say, was that as a Doula I am more than pleased to support siblings at the birth of their baby. My three elder children were at the birth of my youngest and it was a very positive experience for them and my DH and myself too. I think that if you wanted to have your child at the birth, then you really do need to have some support for them. They may sleep thru it all (mine did for my HB's) but if they don't then their needs need to be meet too, and that can be anything from a drink or loo stop, to a walk to the park, some new crayons etc. A trainee Doula is probably a good option if money is a problem, but most Doula's, as do midwives, will come to some sort of agreement as to payment options.
Anyway, enough rambling from me. I am so pleased to see that Homebirth is still an option, with the litigation in this country it is rapidly becoming a problem. Here's hoping that something is done very soon to ensure that it is an affordable option for all pregnant couples.
Mum to Katy, Tessa, Tadhg, Luka and 3 angels.
Posted 30 January 2004 - 07:53 AM
Well things are good here. Big news is I felt bub move!!!!!! Yeah. Love that feeling.
Anyway here are my updates (been away as I had Gastro last week YUK)
Rachel: Glad you're over the half way mark & all is well. Appt was great with MW, am just in the middle of interviewing 2nd midwives & my next appt is 9th Feb.
Tantrumgirl: Finally read Milo's story. Fantastic. You should be really proud of yourself & Milo and I'm glad you got the support you needed at home and in hospital that is what makes all the difference.
Sari: Do I know you from the "Due in August" thread?
Anyway, my MW fees are (for 2 midwives) will be about $3000. We think its fine cause we compared it to private health insurance. For the insurance we had to sign up in advance of Pg to be a ble to claim and then it would have been 2 yrs of payments which was about $3000 for what we wanted. They would only rebate $500 for MW fees anyway. As for public hospital, I just can't do it that way again after having NO support from any of the staff last time and many interventions which I now know weren't necessary. In short I can't trust the public system.
Hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you want.
A big hi to all you other lurkers who are "coming out" LOL!!!!
OK so this is it - I'm biting the bullet and telling my family tomorrow. Have thought it out caefully and have dowloaded some info for them to read. Wish me luck & thanks for the ideas & support.
DH Damian (26)
DD Cara Therese 24/05/02
Posted 01 February 2004 - 01:16 PM
Ali - thanks for your info. Do you have any contacts in Melbourne/Vic country area, or know how we can find a doula here? I also have a friend having a hospital birth who is looking for support (pity, I would have done it myself as she wished but will have a 3 m/o baby and would find it hard to commit)?
Nik - woo hoo! the big announcement! Can't wait to hear how it went for you.
Well I am getting excited about this baby now.
I have 2 close friends who are pregnant. Both having private hospital OB care - very different to us, but still so lovely to be sharing the journey and nuturing each other.
Love to all
Rachel & April
Posted 02 February 2004 - 07:53 AM
Well I did it! I told my family of the HB plans. It actually went OK. I was trying to ease in the conversation & Mum interupted me & said "I know what you're going to say". Apparently she saw some of the books I've been reading at our place. (and I thought I hid them, damn PG brain).
Anyway, she said she's against it, and will constantly worry, and the 'you'll never forgive yourself if something goes wrong', but I expected that. I'm just really pleased that she didn't get hysterical & rant & rave which is what usually happens. Kel (stepdad) didn't say much except that he does believe there's too much medical fuss over babies these days. The best thing was I got to explain more about what happened last time. I've tried before but thay just thought I was whinging. This time they realised what an awful day I had when Cara was born. I left some info for them and said we can talk more later. Give them time to digest it.
So a pretty good outcome I think.
So Sun morn we called DH family to tell them only they were all still in bed at 10:15am and we had to go out so it will have to wait til next weekend.
Anyway all else is good. Am interviewing a 2nd midwife on Wed. and have my appt on Mon (9th) with Annie.
Hope everyone is well.
DH Damian (26)
DD Cara Therese 24/05/02
Posted 02 February 2004 - 12:59 PM
Good on you Nik! Well done. Well it's out there now, so they will have to deal with it in their own time/way and you can move on to your own lovely preparations and plans. Good luck on your 2nd MW.
Have you had a look at Sheila Kitzingers book on HB? You can get it on Capers Bookstore on line. I think it's called 'birth your way - homebirth and hospital alternatives'. It's excellent reading, and I found it really calming when I had just had a 'run in' with someone about why we were doing it this way. It also has a great section on management of things like for example being overdue, or a slow leak of fluid, early rupture of amniotic sac.... etc and covers how you would deal with it at home. I must say there were a few times I came back from functions/visits and got my book and my blanket and got on the couch and had a good read of this book.
Posted 02 February 2004 - 08:47 PM
I'm just another lurker wriggling out of the wood work.
Looking forward very eagerly to my first birth. Like Christmas but triple the excitment. lol.
Comunity Midwives, perform home births free in Adelaide. In the northern Suburbs. I had my first appointment last week and my midwife is great.
It's great to hear about other women wanting a natural home birth.
Alot of people I know think that I am really strange for not wanting to have drugs at the birth. Never mind that I want to have the baby at home, and a water birth. LOL
I'm only 10weeks 6days. Already I can't take the suspense. Does the waiting get any easier.
Posted 03 February 2004 - 07:15 AM
Howdy doody all!!!
I had what i'm hoping to be my last midwife appt yesterday, all went well now its just a waiting game.
I got to meet the 2nd midwife who will be attending the birth and she is as nice as the 1st one so i'm stoked.
I'm 38 weeks today and getting very very excited.
My first 2 births were in a hospital and i cant really complain about the births or the level of care i recieved whilst in hospital, but i just knew this time i would stay at home and involve my older children.
The only negative response i have had was actually from my DP. As this is his 1st child he was unsure of what to expect, but after being given the pep talk from my father about how i would be able to cope and that DP's job is just to be there, he has changed his mind.
I have organised for my parents to collect my children from school if i go into labour on a school day and to bring them home. So everyday i pick them up after school they are saying to say things like "geez mum are you ever going to go into labour?" lol they are making me impatient.
Imagine how annoyed they will feel if i go 2 weeks over.
Well its time to take the rugrats to school....tootles for now.
Abigail due 17/2/04
Posted 03 February 2004 - 10:40 AM
Another lurker here
We are ttc #4 in July this year and would love a homebirth after a horrid hospital birth and 2 great birth centre births. I had my eldest 2 at Zachy's birth and it was very precious. A home birth would be perfect.
Rachel just wanted to answer your question on doulas in your area. Here is a list, prices vary depending on experience, trainees are even free. Find a Doula
These are doulas trained through Life Options, in Sydney. If you want any more info PM me. Being a doula is so rewarding. You will find most doulas will be there in whatever capacity it is you want them for. That may be to support you and your partner or your children. It is a honour to be able to share such a special day.
Take care all,
Kirsty, Doula and Mum.
Holding the Space for Birthing Mothers.
DH John<BR>DD Stephanie 03/03/1995<BR>DS Jordyn 21/02/1997<BR>DS Zachary 27/08/2001 <BR>
Posted 03 February 2004 - 08:24 PM
Hi Rachel and everyone else too
Just wanted to say that LifeOptions/Doula Express is a good place to start looking for a Doula, or checking with your local independent midwives who many have worked with Doulas before and be able to recommend one who is familiar with homebirth.
I sit here reading your posts and start to feel some jealousy. I think that I am ready to start working on my DH, to see how he feels about finishing our family with another homebirth.
Wish me luck.
Mum to Katy, Tessa, Tadhg, Luka and 3 angels.
Posted 04 February 2004 - 01:07 PM
Hiya all you lurkers! And others too!
Ali - thanks for the info... I have emailed doula express to see if there's anyone in our area.
Good luck working on your DH - I hear a bottle of red works wonders!
Good to see some new faces - well cyber faces I guess.
We are a bit excited today... I was interviewed about homebirth for a baby and toddler mag that the Geelong Advertiser puts out a few times a year. Hopefully I said all the right things! Hard to do with preggo brain.
They took a few photos and also took some of ours from the birth showing first feed and cutting the cord... so hopefully it is a decent article. Anything to promote homebirth in a mainstream publication is a good thing as far as I see it. It comes out in March I think, so should be interesting.
Sorry, gotta fly....
Love to all
Posted 07 February 2004 - 11:06 AM
I've only just found out this thread exists, and have been reading your posts with great interest.
I am 32 weeks and hoping for a VBAC (after a cs 1st time for low placenta, amongst other things . . . and have never laboured!!) and like another mum that posted here, came to a very gradual realisation over the course of my pregnancy that I did not want to "box myself in" to planning to birth at hospital. Before falling pregnant I planned to have an independent midwife to support me and to labour at home as long as possible, but intended to transfer to hospital at 'the appropriate time'. By the time I was about 20 weeks I had begun to feel that I would hate to be in a position of doing really well at home and feeling really comfortable, but feel obliged to go to the hospital . . .
I never say to anyone (or even really myself) that I am planning a homebirth, however - the only description that makes sense to me is to say I am planning to birth wherever feels most appropriate at the time! I want to have both options open so that I can make the decision when I am in labour, taking into account all the specifics at the time - not only medical considerations but emotional ones as well.
So anyway - as I said, I am 32 weeks, I have a lovely independent midwife caring for me, I am also booked into a hospital that by all accounts seems fairly relaxed compared to a lot of others (while also being a large enough hospital to deal with all kinds of emergencies), have had no problems so far with this pregnancy, bubs has been consistently head down for at least a week, and I'm about to start my 8 weeks of "internal work" with the fabulous Pink Kit!!
Thanx for listening!
Edited by MegsMum, 16 October 2013 - 11:56 AM.
Posted 07 February 2004 - 11:30 AM
Its so nice to hear from all the lurkers and new ones posting here. Its also understood about the pressure on you when planning the birth for at home and what people in general think and say about HB.
I guess having done it twice now I know what its all about and don't hesitate to tell anyone that the children were born at home.
I had wonderful births at home both with babies 9 & 9.5 pounds and complications too, but both short deliveries, 6 hours for the first and 3 for the second. My DH attended the birth of his first DD in hospital and vowed to himself that he would never have another baby in hospital, and he saw all the sense in the world for having our babies at home. It is far more enjoyable, you are honoured as a person and woman and you DO come out of it with you dignity intact.
I think it is really sad that women say that you should get ready to loose your dignity and take all the drugs you can get your hands on in labour. My experience at home has been completely the opposite. I didn't need any drugs... the pain was very easy to cope with because I was supported by people whom loved and respected me and I the same for them. I was doing it... no one else needed to tell me what to do.
So with my latest addition now 3 months old I would do it all over again in a heart beat. Having your baby at home is the most powerful, fulfilling explosive experience you could ever hope to have in your life. It changes you forever. The normality of birth really hits you. The whole process of staying in hospital and being away from you family really is totally not normal... but has become that way now. Having your baby at home fits with the flow of you family life. There is no interruption, but a smooth interlacing of life with life.
What more can I say but that I wish every woman could have the support to have their babies at home and that hospital was used as a back up for the truly "stuck" and sick babies. That women were not afraid to have their babies at home and felt comfortable to do so.
love & light...
Posted 07 February 2004 - 10:03 PM
Well I have found you at last, People who want what I want. I am TTC #2 at the moment & are planning for a natural VBAC homebirth for the next. I have told my family as I live in Townsville & they live on the Sunshine Coast and there are no HB Middies up my way so I will have to go down to SC. They were fine about it, although I think that has something to do with my training to be a Doula. They may think I will be more capable, although I realise it doesn't have any bearing as your own experience is quite different. I need to find a HB middy in SE QLD & I am lucky enough to have a friend training with me who is prepared to travel to my parents place to support me. Any suggestions on HB Middies in SE Qld
Holding the Space
Posted 09 February 2004 - 12:56 PM
Wow! Great to see all these new posts and new people!
Megsmum - Just thinking about care for your 2y/o.... you say that none of your friends or neighbors could do it as they have their own kids, but perhaps they would like to? I would certainly do this to support another mum , no matter what other things I had on...
Work sommittments are hard to get around I know, but you never know. Failing that, you may just have to take her with you if you transfer in... perhaps have a portacot handy? What does your MW think about it all?
Phillipa - Hi, good luck with TTC #2! Sounds like an exciting journey you have planned.
We are well... 23 weeks now! feeling great. Looking forward to meeting this baby in about 17 weeks time
Rachel & April
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