Jump to content

is this normal daddy/daughter stuff?


  • Please log in to reply
65 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:27 AM

I have to say that I love the relationship that my DD has with her dad. it is close and loving and it makes me happy to see it. She is 3.

Our marriage is over in my eyes so I may be seeing something through jaded eyes but there is one thing he does that makes me uncomfortable.

He is always showing her when he has had a shave and getting her to feel his cheeks. He says isnt daddy nice and smooth and he puts her hand up to stroke his cheek. It seems a bit too much to me but as I said that maybe because I dislike him. This is an every day thing.

There has been no affection between us for more than two years so he probably wants touch but crikey so do I!

So do you think it is normal and innocent? Am I just being silly?

Update post 46

Edited by michellew68, 03 November 2013 - 04:42 PM.


#2 CalEliKat

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:30 AM

*
POPULAR

My children love feeling their dad's smooth face after he has shaved.  He also likes to tickle them with his whiskers when he has not shaved.  It is a nice affectionate moment between the kids and their dad

I really think you are seeing something in what is completely innocent behaviour.

#3 Teens?

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:30 AM

I don't see an issue based on what you have said.

#4 SummerStar

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:33 AM

I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

#5 HRH Countrymel

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:37 AM

That is normal Daddy daughter stuff.

#6 lisacat

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:38 AM

I think you are reading something into it based on your current feelings for DH. I think what you are describing is rather cute and based on father / daughter affection and nothing more.

#7 eigne

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:39 AM

Normal. I used to do that with my grandfather (dad has a beard).

#8 StopTheGoats

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:40 AM

Based upon the information you've provided it sounds like regular Father behaviour.

Life is really short OP. Are you sure you want to stay in such a miserable marriage?

#9 FauxPas

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:40 AM

Normal and sweet.

Sad that you are so hurt yourself to feel unhappy about this interaction.  Maybe counselling would help - you as a couple or even just you as a person to bring you to a better place?

Hoping you have a lovely day

#10 missy78

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:43 AM

Normal. I used to love feeling my Dads face after he shaved. Also when he hadn't. I think it is very cute. My DP and daughter do the same thing, it is a very sweet affectionate moment.

#11 lozoodle

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:46 AM

I used to love feeling my dads face as a kid

#12 Pompol

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:47 AM

I am absolutely paranoid about anything in the grey area in terms of touch but even I see that as absolutely normal.

I agree with PPs OP, why on earth stay if you're that miserable :( you deserve better, if you can't improve things there, maybe it's time to look for a different life.

#13 I'msoMerry

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:48 AM

Thanks for the clarification.

That is all I needed to know. As I said I do love their bond.

I have told him to leave but he just ignores me.

We are in the process of making something change. Even though he doesnt talk to me at all. I have told him, so I am working on where to go from here. The house is mine so He has to leave.

#14 Teens?

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:59 AM

Unfortunately depending on how long you have been living together, among other things, legally the house may be considered to be a joint asset.


#15 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:00 AM

Sounds fine to me, sorry you are in such a horrible situation

#16 rosie28

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:05 AM

Sounds totally normal to me- I used to love sitting in the bathroom while Dad shaved. He used an old fashioned brush and would put some shaving cream on my nose. Even now I love the smell of the brand he uses.

If you're having difficulty it's probably because of your feelings, but that doesn't make it invalid, you should talk to someone.

#17 Holidayromp

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:17 AM

Are you sure that he can just leave?  He can have claim to the house if you have been together in it for more than 12 months?

If you are that unhappy I would suggest getting the ball rolling and seeing a solicitor about what you can and cannot do.

As for the face feeling thing - I used to do it to Dad when I was a kid and I do it to DH after a shave (he hates it!!)

#18 Sancti-mummy

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:22 AM

Oh my heart breaks for you OP - if only there was some way that the two of you could work together for the journey henceforth to be one where either you could rediscover the each other that created your gorgeous daughter in the first place or to not hurt each other more or your gorgeous daughter.

I am so sorry that you are all living through that.

My dad used to do this with me, my husband does with our daughter - it is normal.

I really think that you should talk to someone about where you are at with the relationship and perhaps get some left field suggestions that help you all.

#19 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:24 AM

If you really want him to leave you will need legal advice regarding your and his assets and (by the sounds of it) how to get him out of the house.

Sorry - but if you tell him to leave and he ignores you then you will need a lawyer :(

#20 Rubi-stu

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:34 AM

View Postsuziej, on 03 November 2013 - 07:22 AM, said:

Oh my heart breaks for you OP - if only there was some way that the two of you could work together for the journey henceforth to be one where either you could rediscover the each other that created your gorgeous daughter in the first place or to not hurt each other more or your gorgeous daughter.

I am so sorry that you are all living through that.

My dad used to do this with me, my husband does with our daughter - it is normal.

I really think that you should talk to someone about where you are at with the relationship and perhaps get some left field suggestions that help you all.

Maybe the op was never in love with him? Maybe they got together simply because she fell pregnant or some other reason.

I think getting the ball rolling for separation is a healthy start op. Don't force yourself to live in misery.

And what you described is normal behaviour.

#21 cinnabubble

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:35 AM

OP, it sounds like you're at the point where everything he does irks and frustrates you and this is just a symptom. I hope you can find a way to get him out of there.

#22 crunch

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:39 AM

Sounds normal to me. I hope everything works out for you.

#23 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:41 AM

Totally normal for us, they love feeling Daddy's face when he's prickly and then he shows them when he's shaved and says "Daddy all smooth now, feel, nice and soft".  He's always done it.

#24 Oriental lily

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:43 AM

I think you need to start building support around you. Inform friends and family loyal to you how you feel. Contact lawyer about assets. Contact centerlink about entitlements.

make sure you have your own bank account only you can control.

Please however dont start rumours or half baked feelings that your husband is behaving inappropriate towards your child.
That could destroy him.

There is nothing wrong with effectionate between a dad and daughter. I have touched my dads smooth face and scratchy regrowth since I can remember. The feeling and smell of his aftershave will remain with me forever.

The same as my three daughters and my DH.

#25 Franny and Zooey

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:55 AM

Ex DH and I seperated when my DD2 was three.  It was much easier for her than my older children because of her age.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.