Jump to content

is this normal daddy/daughter stuff?


  • Please log in to reply
66 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:27 AM

I have to say that I love the relationship that my DD has with her dad. it is close and loving and it makes me happy to see it. She is 3.

Our marriage is over in my eyes so I may be seeing something through jaded eyes but there is one thing he does that makes me uncomfortable.

He is always showing her when he has had a shave and getting her to feel his cheeks. He says isnt daddy nice and smooth and he puts her hand up to stroke his cheek. It seems a bit too much to me but as I said that maybe because I dislike him. This is an every day thing.

There has been no affection between us for more than two years so he probably wants touch but crikey so do I!

So do you think it is normal and innocent? Am I just being silly?

Update post 46

Edited by michellew68, 03 November 2013 - 04:42 PM.


#2 CalEliKat

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:30 AM

*
POPULAR

My children love feeling their dad's smooth face after he has shaved.  He also likes to tickle them with his whiskers when he has not shaved.  It is a nice affectionate moment between the kids and their dad

I really think you are seeing something in what is completely innocent behaviour.

#3 Feral teens?

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:30 AM

I don't see an issue based on what you have said.

#4 SummerStar

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:33 AM

I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

#5 CountryFeral

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:37 AM

That is normal Daddy daughter stuff.

#6 lisacat

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:38 AM

I think you are reading something into it based on your current feelings for DH. I think what you are describing is rather cute and based on father / daughter affection and nothing more.

#7 spellfall

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:39 AM

Normal. I used to do that with my grandfather (dad has a beard).

#8 StopTheGoats

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:40 AM

Based upon the information you've provided it sounds like regular Father behaviour.

Life is really short OP. Are you sure you want to stay in such a miserable marriage?

#9 FauxPas

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:40 AM

Normal and sweet.

Sad that you are so hurt yourself to feel unhappy about this interaction.  Maybe counselling would help - you as a couple or even just you as a person to bring you to a better place?

Hoping you have a lovely day

#10 missy78

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:43 AM

Normal. I used to love feeling my Dads face after he shaved. Also when he hadn't. I think it is very cute. My DP and daughter do the same thing, it is a very sweet affectionate moment.

#11 lozoodle

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:46 AM

I used to love feeling my dads face as a kid

#12 Pompol

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:47 AM

I am absolutely paranoid about anything in the grey area in terms of touch but even I see that as absolutely normal.

I agree with PPs OP, why on earth stay if you're that miserable :( you deserve better, if you can't improve things there, maybe it's time to look for a different life.

#13 I'msoMerry

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:48 AM

Thanks for the clarification.

That is all I needed to know. As I said I do love their bond.

I have told him to leave but he just ignores me.

We are in the process of making something change. Even though he doesnt talk to me at all. I have told him, so I am working on where to go from here. The house is mine so He has to leave.

#14 Feral teens?

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:59 AM

Unfortunately depending on how long you have been living together, among other things, legally the house may be considered to be a joint asset.


#15 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:00 AM

Sounds fine to me, sorry you are in such a horrible situation

#16 rosie28

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:05 AM

Sounds totally normal to me- I used to love sitting in the bathroom while Dad shaved. He used an old fashioned brush and would put some shaving cream on my nose. Even now I love the smell of the brand he uses.

If you're having difficulty it's probably because of your feelings, but that doesn't make it invalid, you should talk to someone.

#17 Holidayromp

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:17 AM

Are you sure that he can just leave?  He can have claim to the house if you have been together in it for more than 12 months?

If you are that unhappy I would suggest getting the ball rolling and seeing a solicitor about what you can and cannot do.

As for the face feeling thing - I used to do it to Dad when I was a kid and I do it to DH after a shave (he hates it!!)

#18 DreamFeralisations

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:22 AM

Oh my heart breaks for you OP - if only there was some way that the two of you could work together for the journey henceforth to be one where either you could rediscover the each other that created your gorgeous daughter in the first place or to not hurt each other more or your gorgeous daughter.

I am so sorry that you are all living through that.

My dad used to do this with me, my husband does with our daughter - it is normal.

I really think that you should talk to someone about where you are at with the relationship and perhaps get some left field suggestions that help you all.

#19 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:24 AM

If you really want him to leave you will need legal advice regarding your and his assets and (by the sounds of it) how to get him out of the house.

Sorry - but if you tell him to leave and he ignores you then you will need a lawyer :(

#20 Rubi-stu

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:34 AM

View Postsuziej, on 03 November 2013 - 07:22 AM, said:

Oh my heart breaks for you OP - if only there was some way that the two of you could work together for the journey henceforth to be one where either you could rediscover the each other that created your gorgeous daughter in the first place or to not hurt each other more or your gorgeous daughter.

I am so sorry that you are all living through that.

My dad used to do this with me, my husband does with our daughter - it is normal.

I really think that you should talk to someone about where you are at with the relationship and perhaps get some left field suggestions that help you all.

Maybe the op was never in love with him? Maybe they got together simply because she fell pregnant or some other reason.

I think getting the ball rolling for separation is a healthy start op. Don't force yourself to live in misery.

And what you described is normal behaviour.

#21 cinnabubble

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:35 AM

OP, it sounds like you're at the point where everything he does irks and frustrates you and this is just a symptom. I hope you can find a way to get him out of there.

#22 crunch

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:39 AM

Sounds normal to me. I hope everything works out for you.

#23 feralstreak

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:40 AM

DH likes to nuzzle DS and I after having a shave and is conscious that when he doesn't shave, his bristly whiskers could scratch DS's delicate skin and irritate my skin. So it's cuddle central for all of us when he shaves.

I think it's pretty standard behaviour, but could it be worrying you as it sounds like it's an affectionate intimacy that I'm guessing you and your husband no longer have, if things are so strained? I don't mean to dismiss your concerns. I'm sorry, this must be such an awful situation to be in, particularly if he is refusing to leave.

#24 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:41 AM

Totally normal for us, they love feeling Daddy's face when he's prickly and then he shows them when he's shaved and says "Daddy all smooth now, feel, nice and soft".  He's always done it.

#25 Oriental lily

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:43 AM

I think you need to start building support around you. Inform friends and family loyal to you how you feel. Contact lawyer about assets. Contact centerlink about entitlements.

make sure you have your own bank account only you can control.

Please however dont start rumours or half baked feelings that your husband is behaving inappropriate towards your child.
That could destroy him.

There is nothing wrong with effectionate between a dad and daughter. I have touched my dads smooth face and scratchy regrowth since I can remember. The feeling and smell of his aftershave will remain with me forever.

The same as my three daughters and my DH.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Weirdest pregnancy products

From pee stick keepers to stylish sick bags, there are some very strange inventions out there for pregnant women.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.