Jump to content

is this normal daddy/daughter stuff?

  • Please log in to reply
65 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:27 AM

I have to say that I love the relationship that my DD has with her dad. it is close and loving and it makes me happy to see it. She is 3.

Our marriage is over in my eyes so I may be seeing something through jaded eyes but there is one thing he does that makes me uncomfortable.

He is always showing her when he has had a shave and getting her to feel his cheeks. He says isnt daddy nice and smooth and he puts her hand up to stroke his cheek. It seems a bit too much to me but as I said that maybe because I dislike him. This is an every day thing.

There has been no affection between us for more than two years so he probably wants touch but crikey so do I!

So do you think it is normal and innocent? Am I just being silly?

Update post 46

Edited by michellew68, 03 November 2013 - 04:42 PM.

#2 CalEliKat

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:30 AM


My children love feeling their dad's smooth face after he has shaved.  He also likes to tickle them with his whiskers when he has not shaved.  It is a nice affectionate moment between the kids and their dad

I really think you are seeing something in what is completely innocent behaviour.

#3 Feral teens?

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:30 AM

I don't see an issue based on what you have said.

#4 SummerStar

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:33 AM

I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

#5 HRH Countrymel

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:37 AM

That is normal Daddy daughter stuff.

#6 lisacat

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:38 AM

I think you are reading something into it based on your current feelings for DH. I think what you are describing is rather cute and based on father / daughter affection and nothing more.

#7 eigne

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:39 AM

Normal. I used to do that with my grandfather (dad has a beard).

#8 StopTheGoats

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:40 AM

Based upon the information you've provided it sounds like regular Father behaviour.

Life is really short OP. Are you sure you want to stay in such a miserable marriage?

#9 FauxPas

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:40 AM

Normal and sweet.

Sad that you are so hurt yourself to feel unhappy about this interaction.  Maybe counselling would help - you as a couple or even just you as a person to bring you to a better place?

Hoping you have a lovely day

#10 missy78

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:43 AM

Normal. I used to love feeling my Dads face after he shaved. Also when he hadn't. I think it is very cute. My DP and daughter do the same thing, it is a very sweet affectionate moment.

#11 lozoodle

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:46 AM

I used to love feeling my dads face as a kid

#12 Pompol

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:47 AM

I am absolutely paranoid about anything in the grey area in terms of touch but even I see that as absolutely normal.

I agree with PPs OP, why on earth stay if you're that miserable :( you deserve better, if you can't improve things there, maybe it's time to look for a different life.

#13 I'msoMerry

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:48 AM

Thanks for the clarification.

That is all I needed to know. As I said I do love their bond.

I have told him to leave but he just ignores me.

We are in the process of making something change. Even though he doesnt talk to me at all. I have told him, so I am working on where to go from here. The house is mine so He has to leave.

#14 Feral teens?

Posted 03 November 2013 - 06:59 AM

Unfortunately depending on how long you have been living together, among other things, legally the house may be considered to be a joint asset.

#15 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:00 AM

Sounds fine to me, sorry you are in such a horrible situation

#16 rosie28

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:05 AM

Sounds totally normal to me- I used to love sitting in the bathroom while Dad shaved. He used an old fashioned brush and would put some shaving cream on my nose. Even now I love the smell of the brand he uses.

If you're having difficulty it's probably because of your feelings, but that doesn't make it invalid, you should talk to someone.

#17 Holidayromp

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:17 AM

Are you sure that he can just leave?  He can have claim to the house if you have been together in it for more than 12 months?

If you are that unhappy I would suggest getting the ball rolling and seeing a solicitor about what you can and cannot do.

As for the face feeling thing - I used to do it to Dad when I was a kid and I do it to DH after a shave (he hates it!!)

#18 Sancti-mummy

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:22 AM

Oh my heart breaks for you OP - if only there was some way that the two of you could work together for the journey henceforth to be one where either you could rediscover the each other that created your gorgeous daughter in the first place or to not hurt each other more or your gorgeous daughter.

I am so sorry that you are all living through that.

My dad used to do this with me, my husband does with our daughter - it is normal.

I really think that you should talk to someone about where you are at with the relationship and perhaps get some left field suggestions that help you all.

#19 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:24 AM

If you really want him to leave you will need legal advice regarding your and his assets and (by the sounds of it) how to get him out of the house.

Sorry - but if you tell him to leave and he ignores you then you will need a lawyer :(

#20 Rubi-stu

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:34 AM

View Postsuziej, on 03 November 2013 - 07:22 AM, said:

Oh my heart breaks for you OP - if only there was some way that the two of you could work together for the journey henceforth to be one where either you could rediscover the each other that created your gorgeous daughter in the first place or to not hurt each other more or your gorgeous daughter.

I am so sorry that you are all living through that.

My dad used to do this with me, my husband does with our daughter - it is normal.

I really think that you should talk to someone about where you are at with the relationship and perhaps get some left field suggestions that help you all.

Maybe the op was never in love with him? Maybe they got together simply because she fell pregnant or some other reason.

I think getting the ball rolling for separation is a healthy start op. Don't force yourself to live in misery.

And what you described is normal behaviour.

#21 cinnabubble

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:35 AM

OP, it sounds like you're at the point where everything he does irks and frustrates you and this is just a symptom. I hope you can find a way to get him out of there.

#22 crunch

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:39 AM

Sounds normal to me. I hope everything works out for you.

#23 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:41 AM

Totally normal for us, they love feeling Daddy's face when he's prickly and then he shows them when he's shaved and says "Daddy all smooth now, feel, nice and soft".  He's always done it.

#24 Oriental lily

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:43 AM

I think you need to start building support around you. Inform friends and family loyal to you how you feel. Contact lawyer about assets. Contact centerlink about entitlements.

make sure you have your own bank account only you can control.

Please however dont start rumours or half baked feelings that your husband is behaving inappropriate towards your child.
That could destroy him.

There is nothing wrong with effectionate between a dad and daughter. I have touched my dads smooth face and scratchy regrowth since I can remember. The feeling and smell of his aftershave will remain with me forever.

The same as my three daughters and my DH.

#25 HarperLeeAndMe

Posted 03 November 2013 - 07:55 AM

Ex DH and I seperated when my DD2 was three.  It was much easier for her than my older children because of her age.

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five new mums will join the Essential Baby Test Drive Team and discover great new baby toys from Fisher-Price & write a review to be published on Essential Baby.

Two children fall from second storey window

Two young boys have been rushed to hospital after falling out a second-storey window of a home in Eastwood.

Victorian Labor to introduce same-sex adoption laws

Thousands of same-sex couples with children will have the right to be jointly recognised as parents by Victorian law.

Sneak peek: Maxomorra bee dress, t-shirt and romper for babies

Cutest snap find on the planet - bee rompers, tees and dresses for babies.

Toddler found two days after going missing

A two-year-old girl who disappeared on Friday night from her great-grandparents' home in rural Ohio was found alive Sunday evening in a nearby field.

Dad builds the ultimate bed for his toddler son

The transition from cot to big kid bed might be a little easier if every toddler had a bed like this one.

Is Woolworths now cheaper than Coles?

Woolworths appears to have taken the upper hand in its price battle with Coles after investing millions of dollars lowering the cost of groceries, according to new figures.

Aussie babies and parents stranded in Nepal after surrogacy ban

Parents say Australian babies are being "kept captive" and cannot come home after a ban on commercial surrogacy in Nepal.

Wannabe dads left behind in IVF debate

If virgin women can become mothers through IVF, maybe we're ready for another miracle - genuine equality for men in the parenting debate.

The health and fitness lessons I've learned

What I once assumed about health and fitness is wrong.

Our angel baby story: Hunter James

I have two children: one living, the next an angel baby.

Newlyweds send bill to no-show guests

Planning a wedding can be stressful – and, as most newlyweds can attest, it can be very costly, too.

Your choice or theirs: the tug-of-war over baby names

They had just decided on a name they both agreed on, but then the grandparents threw in an offer of $10,000 in exchange for choosing something else.

Dad-to-be's tearful reaction to pregnancy news goes viral

After 17 years of trying, this man had given up hope of having a family.

Claire Danes: acting out postnatal depression was difficult

Actress Claire Danes found it difficult pretending to have postnatal depression in Homeland, as she had just become a new mother herself.

The moment a 92-year-old meets her great grandaughter

It's a heart-warming photo this family will treasure forever.

How to prepare for breastfeeding when you're still pregnant

While every woman's breastfeeding journey is different, many hurdles are shared. Knowing what to expect will enable you to make informed decisions if - or when - you meet challenges along the way.

Sneak peek: new Love Mae bamboo dinnerware designs

We do love ourselves some brand new designs in tried and true products. The renowned bamboo dinnerware from Love Mae has just had several more members join the family, in addition to a brand new website.

Mum who killed paedophile gets reduced sentence

A mother-of-five who killed a paedophile has had her jail sentence reduced by a judge who described her case as a "truly exceptional" one.

Sneak peek: Geleeo self-cooling pram & high chair liners

We just spotted Geleeo, a brand new self-cooling pram liner you can buy in time for summer.

Toddler's silent debate with mum about naptime

He might not utter a single word - but this toddler is having a great debate with his mother about nap time.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.