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Reaching out to other first time Mums :)

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#1 jellybean23

Posted 13 May 2013 - 04:17 PM

I am a first time mummy-to-be and would like to get in touch with others in my position, mainly for someone to compare experiences with and to talk to and to make new friends - i sort of feel alone in the whole thing as none of my friends (or my husbands friends) have kiddlets!
Would love to hear from you all original.gif

#2 Pink1984

Posted 13 May 2013 - 05:49 PM

Hi Jellybean, Im a first time mummy to be as well. Got no idea what im doing, and trying to learn as i go. I have a nephew already and a niece due in two weeks but apart from that no one in my group of friends have taken the plunge yet. Im due December 17th original.gif

#3 Mumsy2B

Posted 13 May 2013 - 08:51 PM

Ooooo me! me! Pink we are due on the same day too original.gif

I have one close friend with a 6 month old, and a few of DH's friends have babies/toddlers.

How is everything going with you Jellybean?

#4 alecia1986

Posted 13 May 2013 - 10:08 PM

First time for me aswell. I'm scared, but excited... Most of my friends have kids though original.gif

#5 cheshstarr

Posted 14 May 2013 - 05:48 AM

First time for me too and a million questions. I have a few friends that have kids but mainly older kids.

I am due on Dec 30.

#6 Pink1984

Posted 14 May 2013 - 06:22 AM

Just came from the bathroom after throwing up 3 times sorry tmi. Is anyone else still getting really bad morning sickness? It comes on and off through the day but im convinced that it is actually getting worse, I thought it was suppose to be improving now ? I really cant afford to lose any weight (im only 50kg anyway) and carrying twins im sure i need all the energy i can get. But im just never in the mood for food because of the nausea, i eat small amounts throughout the day but cant stomach a full meal.

#7 alecia1986

Posted 14 May 2013 - 08:31 AM

Sounds horrible pink. I found grazing really helped with the nausea - a yoghurt here - an apple there. Even if you don't feel like it, eat something small...

Thankfully mine has greatly reduced now. I still feel a little off, but mainly just tired a lot.

#8 sparkythewonderdog

Posted 14 May 2013 - 08:55 AM

Also first time mum but both my sister and sister in law have kids, so I have been around them quite a bit. I was also at 3 out of 4 of my sisters births so I have seen what happens. Still doesn't even remotely prepare me for it, but at least very little will surprise me.

pink you poor thing, I guess with twins the nausea is often worse. Try to make your grazing snacks as calorie and nutrient dense as you can stomach if you can't manage meals. Maybe nuts and fruit? I found I craving avacado and vegemite or cheese on toast during the worst of my ms. 1 piece limit if i didn't want to chuck. I am 10+4 now so it has settled quite a bit I only feel nauseous after I eat or if I get too hungry.

#9 Rae85

Posted 14 May 2013 - 03:13 PM

I'm a first time mummy to! Due 29th December  original.gif

#10 Cassandra.c.crane

Posted 14 May 2013 - 03:24 PM

If your on facebook make sure you join our eb december due in group over there. I think theres quite a few first time mums. Iam a 2nd timer and some things are so different and new i could be a first! lol

#11 Rae85

Posted 14 May 2013 - 05:39 PM

QUOTE (Cassandra.c.crane @ 14/05/2013, 01:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If your on facebook make sure you join our eb december due in group over there. I think theres quite a few first time mums. Iam a 2nd timer and some things are so different and new i could be a first! lol

Is the page hidden? As I'm only 7 weeks so haven't told many people.

#12 sparkythewonderdog

Posted 14 May 2013 - 10:52 PM

QUOTE (Rae85 @ 14/05/2013, 05:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is the page hidden? As I'm only 7 weeks so haven't told many people.

Yes it sure is.

#13 Pink1984

Posted 16 May 2013 - 06:33 AM

These weeks are going so slow sad.gif Im dying to get to the 12 weeks so i can shout my news from the rooftops. My immediate family knows and some close friends but i havent told work yet and are waiting to hit 12 weeks before i do. Hows everyone else going with the long wait before spilling the beans ??

#14 {Jade}

Posted 16 May 2013 - 07:19 AM

I too have been getting so eager to tell! It's been hard to keep it a secret, as it suppresses so many emotions. I wasn't getting to excited about it because didn't have anyone other than hubby to be excited with! We decided we wouldn't tell anyone even family until 12 wks, but have ended up telling immediately family and a friend at 10ish weeks. I felt a lot better and have been able to be more excited about it, while sharing the news.
I don't have too much longer to wait now hopefully! I'm 11+3 today. We see the OB next week at 12+2, and only from there will we get our referral for NT ultrasound, which we can hopefully book in for as soon as possible. So it will be more like 13 wks when we tell everyone else. Ill be glad when I finally can tell people at work, as my tummy is getting a little big that I'm getting paranoid about it!

I feel confident that everything is fine. From about 10 wks on I didn't worry as much, I knew if I got that far chances were everything will work out just right. I know there is still the tiniest chance someone could still go wrong from here, but I would be robbing myself of the joy and excitement if that's what I focused on.

It feels like the longest few weeks ever! But every day is a day closer. Thinking of everyone going through this time too.

#15 Zachary Quack

Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:03 PM

Hi all,

I am a first time mum too. I am 10+4 today, and I am also holding my breath for 12 weeks - although everybody knows. I work in health care and was exposed to a patient with shingles (thanks workmate that didn't think that was important information to share!) so there were quite a few who found out then when I had a quiet freak out and had to change patients suddenly.

Re: morning sickness - Pink, I just vomited in a fruit bag at Woollies  blush.gif Was feeling fine then all of a sudden not at all fine. My DP stood in front of me to hide me but an old man really seemed entertained by my spews. I wanted to ask him if he'd ever seen a pregnant person before, but I was a little preoccupied! On the plus side the nausea and vomiting really helps me to feel like things must be ok in there.

Great thread Jellybean. How have you been feeling, apart from all the questions and worries that crop up?

#16 Mumsy2B

Posted 16 May 2013 - 06:44 PM

Pink I agree, the waiting sucks!

I feel like it has gone reasonably fast so far though, so just holding out and hoping that it continues to go fast! We have told a few close friends already.

We have our NT scan at exactly 12 weeks, so hopefully I can get a middy appt shortly after that for the results, then we will tell other friends, and family.

I wanted to wait as long as I could to tell work (like, until I was showing!) but I am going to have to go on a work trip at 13 1/2 weeks, and I want to make sure my work will have insurance to cover me in case of any medical needs when I go (it's outside Aus) so I will need to tell him at 13 weeks.

#17 lozandash

Posted 17 May 2013 - 09:05 PM

hi all. It's been a while since i've posted on here! I'm currently 10 weeks 3 days. I had an ultrasound at 8 weeks 6 days and saw a strong heart rate and found out i was 3 days ahead of what i originally thought i was which was good. The day after my scan my ms got a lot better. So much so that i worried i was losing symptoms in a bad way. But my boobs were still in agony so that kept me happy in a really strange kind of way :/ but i haven't vomited at all so i guess i haven't had it that bad. I've come close to vomiting though. Right now i'm having dull aching cramps in my uterus which i'm guessing are growing pains. They've been coming and going but have also improved in recent weeks. The only people we've told are close friends who live in town and a couple of old friends who i haven't seen in years and who have kids of their own. We have probably told around a dozen people in total, only one of whom knows my family but i've sworn her to secrecy. I honestly don't know how i've managed to keep the secret from my mum and dad but i have. And i've spent a total of about 4 hours on the phone to them in the last 6 weeks since i've known i'm pregnant. My best friend is hating the fact that i'm waiting so long to tell them but i figure if i've made it this far i can make it less than two more weeks. I had a pretty decent emotional breakdown lastnight and it made me wonder if telling my family would help with the emotional issues i'm having. I just feel kind of isolated and scared and uncertain, and part of me just wants my mummy to tell me everything will be ok... But i'm not sure if it's the right thing to do... What's everyone's experience with telling or not telling family before 12 weeks is up?

#18 Mumsy2B

Posted 17 May 2013 - 11:32 PM

Hey Loz,

My experience with telling family sounds kinda similar to yours. We have told my three besties and their partners, and DH"s bestie and his wife, plus I've told an online group of friends, who are, well more of RL friends now, and there are quite a lot of them lol. Whoops.

But a couple of the friends I've told keep asking me if I've told my Mum yet, and I'm like nahhhhhh.... I don't really know why I haven't exactly... I just don't feel the need to tell Mum/Dad before 12 weeks.

It makes it a little easier for me that my p's are o/s at the moment, not returning til I'm about 15 weeks, so it's not a difficult secret to keep!

If you have a good relationship with your Mum, and you think she would be a good support person should something happen, I think why not tell? But on the other hand you are close to 12 weeks too so I can see why you would want to hold out!

Is there anything we can do to help alleviate your stress? Is there anything specifically concerning you?

#19 lozandash

Posted 18 May 2013 - 08:30 AM

Well I have quite an unusual living situation. My partner and I moved from a capital city where we have always lived, to a mining town 12 hours away. My partner obtained single person's accommodation in a share house but as part of his employment terms he asked if I could also live in the house. They agreed so I have been living with a variety of "drifters" over the past 2 years. The house has 4 bedrooms and one bathroom and one toilet. For a while the industry went quiet so me and my partner had the house to ourselves which was great (literally all expenses r paid, house, phone, internet, cleaning, mowing, car, food for him while he's working) but now work is building up so at any given time I could be living with 3 other men whom I don't know, and I barely know when they will be arriving... And plus my partner has been relocated ro a mine 3 hours away but still lives here on his days off. So when he's working (4 or 5 days/nights at a time) I don't see him at all, he stays in a camp dorm. So I am essentially spending half the year hiding in my bedroom to avoid strange men and fighting for the toilet, shower or oven to make my dinner. Which as you can all understand is trying at most times but when pregnant it is enough to drive u insane. I can't tell anyone I'm pregnant either as u can imagine. We are in the process of finding our own accommodation but our current issue is we can't decide on where we want to base ourselves... Near our families 12 hours away or here in a mining town. I want to move back but he doesn't. He does eventually but not for another year or more. We are arguing about that a lot. I have also recently started a new job doing something I've never done before. And with baby brain and this all being new to me I am really struggling. and I obviously can't tell them I'm pregnant yet. I started working there at 8 weeks pregnant. I believe I have to work for 6 months between now and the birth in order to get maternity leave from the qld govt. I still have to speak to centrelink to confirm this. With all of this and this being my first pregnancy and the stress of worrying about miscarriage and the vicious cycle of not wanting to stress as it can harm the baby is just getting to me. So sorry for the rant but those are my niggling worries causing my stress right now.

#20 lozandash

Posted 18 May 2013 - 08:39 AM

And the reason why I haven't told my parents (mainly my mum) yet is because my mum has always been a worry wart. I love her dearly, more than anyone in the world but she has a habit of making mountains out of molehills and I just think we would all be better off if they found out once we're in the so called safe zone... We are actually really considering not saying anything to our families for another 6 weeks, when we're booked to fly home for my sister's birthday. I don't know if that's such a good idea, I think I just thought it would be nice to tell them in person and see their reactions. But I guess there's always skype??? I just don't know if by rocking up with a fat gut at 16.5 weeks pregnant at my sister's party is going to be a bad idea as it could make my parents upset and think why did you not tell me earlier??? (and have them be somewhat offended??) and also I don't want to take attention away from my sister on her 21st birthday. But it could be taken in a positive light, my sister could be happy to get a present of being an aunty, and my parents might not even be offended I didn't say anything sooner. I just don't know. I think I might just reveal all in a couple of weeks after my 12 weeks scan

#21 Mumsy2B

Posted 18 May 2013 - 09:41 AM

Holy crap! That is a LOT to deal with. Understandable that you would feel stressed. I'm not sure I would handle living with male strangers well either :/

In regards to telling your family, I agree that if it were me I'd be more inclined to tell them via Skype/phone after the 12 week scan - 1. because of 'taking away' from your sis's 21st, and 2. like you said your fam might be sad you didn't tell them earlier than 16 weeks. Given your Mum is a worrier maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to tell her now, it may just add to your stress sad.gif

In regards to the work sitch that's a really hard one. Has your partner told you why he wants to stay for another year? Could you try compromising with him on this, ie. stay until you've qualified for mat leave (hopefully only 6 months) then go back home? If you left it a full year you'd then be moving with a young baby too - maybe not his idea of fun??

Could your partner's employers find you some other accommodation by yourselves? Maybe near DH's work for a few months then agree to move back home after that? It seems a strange set up that they allow you to be sharing with a bunch of blokes! Even if you offered to contribute to the rent if it was higher than whatever they would normally offer for one person?

Alternatively if it is really affecting you could you move back home sooner rather than later (although the mat leave would be good it's probably not worth your stress to get it)? Would your partner's employer fund his flights 'home' to see you on weekends?

Big hugs to you xx

#22 alecia1986

Posted 18 May 2013 - 09:43 AM

Hi all!
I went back for my blood results on Thursday, all were good, however my blood type is O negative which can be a problem... Also my hcg was 150,000 which the doctor thought was high for the timeframe so I'm being sent for a scan...

I told my mum last night... So was shocked. Completely shocked... But came around and got excited... But still shocked lol! I'm sick of being asked if this was an accident... Mum as called my brother and grandparents and told them (this is why I waited to tell her).

But when I got home, I had a bit of bleeding, so went to emergency (because of my blood type) and stayed there until 4am this morning. I've had an anti-D shot and was told I need to book my scan ASAP to see if baby is ok. Really scary but they said its only a little bleeding and there's no pain, so that's a good sign. But my hcg levels have dropped (though they said that is likely due to how far along I am and not to stress... Easier said than done...)

So now I just wait until Monday for my scan original.gif

#23 lozandash

Posted 18 May 2013 - 10:07 AM

My partner makes a good point about staying here a while longer. We're considering buying a house in the mining town as his employer has said he will contribute $350 every week he is working towards accommodation fees in lieu of living in the share house. We have pretty much decided we will take that offer and get a place of our own here. But I still won't see him until his days off as he will still be working 3 hours away for probably another 4 months. But my main priority is to get out of the share house. U can't have a pregnant lady in a share house! I think we have outstayed our welcome as when my partner called his boss to see if he was entitled to the accommodation allowance his boss basically jumped at the idea lol. Well he did say from the start that having a girl in a share house wouldn't last. I'm sure he's beyond shocked that I've lasted 2 years and seen around 9-10 blokes come and go in that time.  I don't think he thought I would last more than 2 months let alone 2 years! Tounge1.gif
My partners point is: if we stay here, obviously I won't be working when the baby is born, and he'll be home for 4-5 days at a time AND be home every night. We can use his time off to do whatever we want: go camping, go on a holiday somewhere, visit our family and friends in Brisbane, or just chill out and enjoy each other's company. If we were to move back to Brisbane he would still work here and fly in and out of work so wouldn't be home every night, and every days off we would be in Brisbane in a rut doing what we used to do (which wasn't that exciting), or the less discussed option (which hasn't been deeply discussed as he really doesn't want to do this) is for him to come back to construction and work 5-6 days a week and have 1-2 days off on a weekend like most of the general population, earn less money and be stuck in another rut. So staying here in the mining town is the more attractive option in both of our opinions. It has taken a while for him to convince me as all I kept imagining was the discussion with my father about why I'm not moving back home so he can see his grandchild grow up. It breaks my heart to even imagine that conversation. But I don't know why I let that sway my opinion so much. I care so much about what my dad thinks (and I always have) but this is my family now, ash and I have our own family to think about and grandparents should definitely play a part but they don't have to be there all the time. I think we've made our decision on the housing front. But I'm still uncertain about when to tell my family we're expecting. It's seeming like it's all up to me as when I bring it up ash just says he doesn't care, he's more concerned about the living situation than when we should break the news. So the ball seems to be in my court! :/

#24 Zachary Quack

Posted 19 May 2013 - 05:25 AM

lozandash, that's a lot to be dealing with at any time, let alone being pregnant. I hope you can find a good solution. I can see why your dad might be upset but honestly, this is about you doing the best thing for your family. Actually seeing your husband is a pretty good start to having a solid family I think!
I can't give any advice re: telling family since I told my parents and siblings as soon as I had had the first doctor's appointment.

Alecia, I had bleeding at about 7 weeks. There was cramping and clots and bright blood and I expected the worst, but I had a scan on the Monday morning (the bleeding happened on a Saturday night) and the bean was still there, growing like a weed and heart beating like a hammer. FX for you.

Is anyone else finding the morning (hah!) sickness is settling? I am 11 weeks today and I haven't actually vomited for 2 days now. I had a bit of a gag and ran to the loo yesterday, but breakfast stayed down. I *think* I can feel the top of my uterus poking up above my pubic bone too! There's a LOT of padding in the way, but if I poke quite hard I can feel something that wasn't there a few weeks ago original.gif
Downside - my head hates me now. My back gums and throat are swollen and sore, and the glands on one side of my face are swollen too. Dr Internet suggests this is all part of the fun of being pregnant, thanks to hormones increasing blood flow to the soft tissue. I will see a real doc soon but I am not toooooo worried - I feel fine for the most part, just sore in those spots.

12 weeks next Sunday!

#25 alecia1986

Posted 19 May 2013 - 10:35 AM

Thank you 2cats! That makes me feel a bit better original.gif I've had no more bleeding and have vomited up air the last two days. (Well a bit of bile + a lot of nothing) so I'm being very hopeful. Hanging out for my ultrasound tomorrow and trying to stress as little as possible!

I told work I needed to attend an urgent medical appointment (which leaves them very short staffed) but they were (surprisingly) understanding about it.

I'm very excited now that I've told mum and can't wait for her to get back so we can go clothes shopping! My clothes are getting tight when I sit down and I can't for the life of me work out the belly belt lol!

Oh and I've been feeling like I have a cold aswell.. Good to know is just one of the perks wink.gif

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