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Baptism of fire: were you pressured to christen your baby?


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#26 Kylie Orr

Posted 17 March 2013 - 07:36 PM

Excellent reply to the MIL there honeylulu!

I'm impressed by the number of people who could stand their ground. Often sounds easy on paper but in practise dealing with ongoing pressure about something so emotive can become nasty.

And yes, I'm pretty certain that a will with guardians listed would well and truly trump godparents??

#27 Bindi-i

Posted 20 March 2013 - 03:00 PM

You should probably check your facts before making a claim.  Theologians within the Catholic church have continually researched the concept of Limbo which was changed back in 2007 and differs to the original interpretation introduced by medieval priests.

As a practicing Catholic I would prefer it if those who did not practice the faith would not think baptism and other rituals performed were no just the "done thing".  These events actually mean something and not taking them seriously means you're making a mockery of my faith.  To each their own.





#28 luke's mummu

Posted 20 March 2013 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE (Kylie Orr @ 17/03/2013, 08:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And yes, I'm pretty certain that a will with guardians listed would well and truly trump godparents??



Yes we did discuss this wit our solicitor before making our wills. We were told godparents have no legal status, if you don't have a legal guardian listed, then your relatives get to fight-it-out in court as to who gets your children. It's pretty scary, because DH and I have never agreed on who should be appointed our son's legal guardian, therefore we have not listed anyone!

#29 GillyBean15

Posted 15 August 2013 - 04:40 AM

My husband and I just recently started going back to church after our first baby was born. Mostly to stay in touch with close friends and family and so my husband could be a part of the church band with his best friend. Of course, on our first day everyone wanted to know if we were going to get our daughter baptized. I thought it was a strange question to ask someone who just joined their church. So I understand where you are coming from, especially when your not sure what it could all mean or if it is necessary for a baby. I dont like the idea of forcing my child into a situation they may or may not want later in life. It should be their choice...

#30 75etd

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:01 AM

we were never pressured to have our children christened, however I would never have done it due to pressure only.

We are not religious, we do not attend church services throughout the year. For these reasons we also did not get married in a church. I don't understand why so many people do, when they have no connection to religion in their everyday lives.

Maybe we're not providing our children with access to this avenue of spirituality, however I will not deny them this, should they choose to explore this in time. I have considered sending them to a religious school, so they have exposure to religion, however I have been disappointed by the size of classes in religious schools, and I feel they do not have enough focus on being able to deal with each student individually-you can't do this with 30 Lindsey kiss in a class.

#31 Frooti

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:36 PM

I didn't have any pressure.

A little bit from my boss, but I brushed it off. My family aren't religious, those who are know that DH and I are stubborn enough to not do something just because they ask, so I think they didn't bother. Besides, none of them are people who go to church regularly (just people who were baptised in the faith by their own parents), so they wouldn't have a foot to stand on with persuading us.

I feel like baptising my baby would be a lie. We have no faith but we also don't discriminate and would like to raise her knowing that if she wants to have a faith, she can choose that for herself.

I have a bit of a strong opinion against catholicism. It is only because of an ex whose family were VERY strict catholics with a very strict church and I got pretty cranky about being talked down to and having them try to drag me along to their latin mass and make me wear a head covering. They questioned every aspect of my life and were very much people who believe that a woman's place is in the home caring for her husband and children. They also informed me every time I mentioned my brother (who is gay) that he is going to hell for his sexual sins. Little did they know that I realised after being with their son for two years that he is a pathological liar and likes to get blowjobs from men in nightclub toilets. He also didn't mind being on the top or the bottom (of another man). He has married this month to an Indonesian strict catholic girl who is moving to Australia to live with him in a couple of weeks, I feel very sad when that poor girl finds out that the man she's committed to has a "sinful" sexual appetite.

I realise that this prejudice though is with people like his parents and I really have to let it go before DD gets old enough to discuss these things with me, because I don't want to pass that hate to her.

#32 Tigerdog

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:41 PM

View PostSunnycat, on 07 March 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

My parents (mum in particular) desperately wanted DS baptized. I don't know why. She considers herself catholic but they don't pray or go to church or anything.

She kept saying that my uncle in Italy (dads brother) kept asking when DS was going to get baptized as its a family tradition.

Tbh it means sweet FA to me, so I wouldn't have given a sh*t if we had to do it to please the family but DH was dead against it so I said no.

As far as I know DS hasn't been baptized, unless my parents have secretly taken him when they look after him.

Your DP was right to stand firm, it isn't just something you to to please the family - that's trivialising the whole thing.

#33 Tigerdog

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:43 PM

View Postluke, on 20 March 2013 - 03:05 PM, said:

QUOTE (Kylie Orr @ 17/03/2013, 08:36 PM)
And yes, I'm pretty certain that a will with guardians listed would well and truly trump godparents??



Yes we did discuss this wit our solicitor before making our wills. We were told godparents have no legal status, if you don't have a legal guardian listed, then your relatives get to fight-it-out in court as to who gets your children. It's pretty scary, because DH and I have never agreed on who should be appointed our son's legal guardian, therefore we have not listed anyone!

I don't get why people make this automatic assumption, taking on the role of godparent means you are taking on the spiritual guidance of that child, there's nothing even implied about taking over day-to-day care of the child if the parents aren't able to!

#34 Ianthe

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:53 PM

I go to church regularly-Bible Study Fridays, church twice on Sundays and my 4yo isn't baptised. Family don't care and no one from church has mentioned it. There is no reason he hasn't been baptised, I think the hideous year of sleep deprivation meant I didn't consider anything when he was a baby.

#35 Nerileeway

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:57 PM

No pressure here even though I have a priest in the family.

#36 Weavile

Posted 15 August 2013 - 08:20 PM

FIL applied some pressue to DH. Neither of us beleive but DH considered it to make FIL feel better about what would happen if DS passed while young.

I left it up to him. In my opinion it acheives nothing, but if he wanted to do it to make his Dad happy I wasn't going to stop him. He hasn't been bothered and FIL has stopped asking, although might again after I have this bub.

#37 Jenno

Posted 15 August 2013 - 08:44 PM

My parents are quite active in a church and while I am sure they wished for a christening they never voiced it.

In laws are not in any way religious but also never mentioned it.

We live away from all our family and it always seemed very hard to organise however the girls go to a catholic school and learnt about it and asked if they could do it.

We only got it done just before last Christmas, both girls were very involved in the process and loved bring apart of it all.

  Poor DS had  no say but laughed at the water.

I am glad we waited and they can now remember it when they get older.




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