Jump to content

Baptism of fire: were you pressured to christen your baby?

  • Please log in to reply
36 replies to this topic

#26 Kylie Orr

Posted 17 March 2013 - 07:36 PM

Excellent reply to the MIL there honeylulu!

I'm impressed by the number of people who could stand their ground. Often sounds easy on paper but in practise dealing with ongoing pressure about something so emotive can become nasty.

And yes, I'm pretty certain that a will with guardians listed would well and truly trump godparents??

#27 Bindi-i

Posted 20 March 2013 - 03:00 PM

You should probably check your facts before making a claim.  Theologians within the Catholic church have continually researched the concept of Limbo which was changed back in 2007 and differs to the original interpretation introduced by medieval priests.

As a practicing Catholic I would prefer it if those who did not practice the faith would not think baptism and other rituals performed were no just the "done thing".  These events actually mean something and not taking them seriously means you're making a mockery of my faith.  To each their own.

#28 luke's mummu

Posted 20 March 2013 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE (Kylie Orr @ 17/03/2013, 08:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And yes, I'm pretty certain that a will with guardians listed would well and truly trump godparents??

Yes we did discuss this wit our solicitor before making our wills. We were told godparents have no legal status, if you don't have a legal guardian listed, then your relatives get to fight-it-out in court as to who gets your children. It's pretty scary, because DH and I have never agreed on who should be appointed our son's legal guardian, therefore we have not listed anyone!

#29 GillyBean15

Posted 15 August 2013 - 04:40 AM

My husband and I just recently started going back to church after our first baby was born. Mostly to stay in touch with close friends and family and so my husband could be a part of the church band with his best friend. Of course, on our first day everyone wanted to know if we were going to get our daughter baptized. I thought it was a strange question to ask someone who just joined their church. So I understand where you are coming from, especially when your not sure what it could all mean or if it is necessary for a baby. I dont like the idea of forcing my child into a situation they may or may not want later in life. It should be their choice...

#30 75etd

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:01 AM

we were never pressured to have our children christened, however I would never have done it due to pressure only.

We are not religious, we do not attend church services throughout the year. For these reasons we also did not get married in a church. I don't understand why so many people do, when they have no connection to religion in their everyday lives.

Maybe we're not providing our children with access to this avenue of spirituality, however I will not deny them this, should they choose to explore this in time. I have considered sending them to a religious school, so they have exposure to religion, however I have been disappointed by the size of classes in religious schools, and I feel they do not have enough focus on being able to deal with each student individually-you can't do this with 30 Lindsey kiss in a class.

#31 Frooti

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:36 PM

I didn't have any pressure.

A little bit from my boss, but I brushed it off. My family aren't religious, those who are know that DH and I are stubborn enough to not do something just because they ask, so I think they didn't bother. Besides, none of them are people who go to church regularly (just people who were baptised in the faith by their own parents), so they wouldn't have a foot to stand on with persuading us.

I feel like baptising my baby would be a lie. We have no faith but we also don't discriminate and would like to raise her knowing that if she wants to have a faith, she can choose that for herself.

I have a bit of a strong opinion against catholicism. It is only because of an ex whose family were VERY strict catholics with a very strict church and I got pretty cranky about being talked down to and having them try to drag me along to their latin mass and make me wear a head covering. They questioned every aspect of my life and were very much people who believe that a woman's place is in the home caring for her husband and children. They also informed me every time I mentioned my brother (who is gay) that he is going to hell for his sexual sins. Little did they know that I realised after being with their son for two years that he is a pathological liar and likes to get blowjobs from men in nightclub toilets. He also didn't mind being on the top or the bottom (of another man). He has married this month to an Indonesian strict catholic girl who is moving to Australia to live with him in a couple of weeks, I feel very sad when that poor girl finds out that the man she's committed to has a "sinful" sexual appetite.

I realise that this prejudice though is with people like his parents and I really have to let it go before DD gets old enough to discuss these things with me, because I don't want to pass that hate to her.

#32 Tigerdog

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:41 PM

View PostSunnycat, on 07 March 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

My parents (mum in particular) desperately wanted DS baptized. I don't know why. She considers herself catholic but they don't pray or go to church or anything.

She kept saying that my uncle in Italy (dads brother) kept asking when DS was going to get baptized as its a family tradition.

Tbh it means sweet FA to me, so I wouldn't have given a sh*t if we had to do it to please the family but DH was dead against it so I said no.

As far as I know DS hasn't been baptized, unless my parents have secretly taken him when they look after him.

Your DP was right to stand firm, it isn't just something you to to please the family - that's trivialising the whole thing.

#33 Tigerdog

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:43 PM

View Postluke, on 20 March 2013 - 03:05 PM, said:

QUOTE (Kylie Orr @ 17/03/2013, 08:36 PM)
And yes, I'm pretty certain that a will with guardians listed would well and truly trump godparents??

Yes we did discuss this wit our solicitor before making our wills. We were told godparents have no legal status, if you don't have a legal guardian listed, then your relatives get to fight-it-out in court as to who gets your children. It's pretty scary, because DH and I have never agreed on who should be appointed our son's legal guardian, therefore we have not listed anyone!

I don't get why people make this automatic assumption, taking on the role of godparent means you are taking on the spiritual guidance of that child, there's nothing even implied about taking over day-to-day care of the child if the parents aren't able to!

#34 Ianthe

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:53 PM

I go to church regularly-Bible Study Fridays, church twice on Sundays and my 4yo isn't baptised. Family don't care and no one from church has mentioned it. There is no reason he hasn't been baptised, I think the hideous year of sleep deprivation meant I didn't consider anything when he was a baby.

#35 Nerileeway

Posted 15 August 2013 - 06:57 PM

No pressure here even though I have a priest in the family.

#36 Weavile

Posted 15 August 2013 - 08:20 PM

FIL applied some pressue to DH. Neither of us beleive but DH considered it to make FIL feel better about what would happen if DS passed while young.

I left it up to him. In my opinion it acheives nothing, but if he wanted to do it to make his Dad happy I wasn't going to stop him. He hasn't been bothered and FIL has stopped asking, although might again after I have this bub.

#37 Jenno

Posted 15 August 2013 - 08:44 PM

My parents are quite active in a church and while I am sure they wished for a christening they never voiced it.

In laws are not in any way religious but also never mentioned it.

We live away from all our family and it always seemed very hard to organise however the girls go to a catholic school and learnt about it and asked if they could do it.

We only got it done just before last Christmas, both girls were very involved in the process and loved bring apart of it all.

  Poor DS had  no say but laughed at the water.

I am glad we waited and they can now remember it when they get older.

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.


Top 5 Articles


From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.


Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.