Jump to content

bad choices
need to get this off my chest


  • Please log in to reply
53 replies to this topic

#1 c.sanders

Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:48 PM

Removed in case anyone  we know is on here

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:15 AM.


#2 Zephie Chugger

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:09 PM

((hugs))

Are you staying with your in-laws or in a Western Hotel? Maybe book into one for a few days and see a doctor connected to the hotel. If your DD  is still throwing up I'ld be getting on the flight home and to the hospital before heading home.Bring all the diff types of meds you have been giving him to show the Doctor.

#3 Kay1

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:20 PM

Oh gosh how scary. Has he been vaccinated for typhoid? If I were you I'd be seeking proper medical advice (since you clearly feel the treatment you've received so far is bad). I like the idea of checking into a hotel...I'd need some space away in those circumstances. Also if you have travel insurance give them a call. We have had very helpful advice and assistance when ill when overseas.

#4 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:22 PM

Please keep up the breastfeeding too.   It's the best thing for him if he's ill. You can get stuff to clear out his nose if that is causing the difficulty.  

I'd be tempted to just get on a plane home.

Edited by meggs1, 27 February 2013 - 08:24 PM.


#5 Goggie

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:26 PM

It sounds like you're visiting?? I'd be getting on the next plane home if that's the case!

Hope he recovers quickly xo

#6 c.sanders

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:33 PM

?

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:20 AM.


#7 black cherry

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:44 PM

Try to keep the sneezers and coughers away from him till you leave. Even if they get upset, you will be gone in a few days and won't have to deal with them. Good luck and I hope your DS is feeling better soon.

Edited by Flylikeabutterfly, 27 February 2013 - 08:44 PM.


#8 Goggie

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:44 PM

QUOTE (c.sanders @ 27/02/2013, 09:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The docs in Australia said he was too young for the typhoid  shot. But we've been very careful with his water n food despite my MIL trying to put inappropriate  stuff in his food like tumeric, stinky fish, onions,  a lot of salt, etc. She keeps going on that he drinks too much breastmilk n I've made him addicted! WTF!
She also won't allow him to put his toys in his mouth...instead she insists on giving him big chicken  bones...like a dog...

My DH  is so thoughtful, courteous n  good, i know he feels the same but i can't talk to him because  then he will get upset.


Please keep breasfeeding, it will protect his immune system until you get home.

On another note, I don't understand how you can't talk to your DH about it. He's your husband. Your partner in life. The person you should confide in. The father of your child. Why can't talk you to him about your concerns over this? I don't get it.

#9 Blossom11

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:51 PM

I was in a third world country last year and many people I was travelling with got sick. I almost broke my ankle and they said to use the hotel towels to wrap it as they had no bandages so I know how you feel.

My friend got antibiotics but wasn't getting better. I told her to go straight to hospital emergency when we got back as I knew from previous experience that she was in a bad way.

Anyway, the antibiotics that she was given at the third world hospital were wrong and they weren't even the right strength so the hospital took them to look into the situation.

Please be careful what you are giving your baby. Honestly if you can leave now I would but I understand that may not be possible. When you get home - please go to the nearest hospital. If you have travel insurance, they may help you get home earlier.

Try and clear the nose and keep breastfeeding. Try and keep away from the rellies as well. Don't worry about the comments either. Just remember they come from a totally different lifestyle.

ETA- Don't beat yourself up over your choices.  Trust me you will have plenty more to add to (My 2 dd's are 11 and 7).

Edited by Blossom11, 27 February 2013 - 08:55 PM.


#10 FeralHez

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

I would say something to your husband, it's his child's health too. You and bub need him in your corner.

I want to repeat what the others have said, keep breast feeding as much as you can. Sounds weird but breast milk up his nose may help clear it a bit.

Hopefully once you get home in a couple of days you won't need to go out visiting again for a while...

#11 43 other ferals

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:07 PM

Are you able to make calls from where you are?

I'd be talking to
- your travel insurer, if you have one;
- DFAT; or
- an Australian hospital, for over the phone medical advice

A medical evac may be possible if the situation seems serious.

My 8th month old wound up in hospital in Bali having a head x-ray with the most scary old x-ray machine possible.  I was terrified he was seriously hurt or could get cancer one day from the dodgy machine.  You will feel so much better when you get home.  

Hope Friday comes soon.

#12 c.sanders

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:48 AM

.

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:21 AM.


#13 43 other ferals

Posted 28 February 2013 - 06:00 AM

Your MIL sounds like an incredibly difficult person to deal with.  You're doing well to cope with all of that and a sick child.

I'm looking forward to hearing that you're home and all of this stress and worry is behind you and your husband.  It does sound like he is in a very awkward position.

#14 lucky 2

Posted 28 February 2013 - 08:39 AM

Sorry to hear all this OP, you'll be home soon and hopefully you can get a medical check for your baby asap after getting home.
The compromise of giving formula in food sounds ok, if you need to get milk into him you could also express some milk into a clean cup and put that in his food, expressing by hand if need be. Or giving him sips by cup.
Is he having some boiled water?
Once you get away from your family and on the plane it might help for him to be on your chest a lot and he may take the breast.
How long is the plane trip home?

#15 Tobias'smum

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:05 AM

I would be packing my child and me up and takig the next flight home , i dont care whose mum/family it is i would never let someone do these things to my son If my husband couldnt stand up to his family to protect our son this would be a major problem in our marriage.

I dont undterstand why people allow others to treat their babies poorly - as parents we are their defenders.

I know it can be hard to tell others to back off or go away but thats our job

"His mum has had a lot of success financially so no one tells her off really."
I think this part disturbed me the most - the fact she has money means she has a right to mistreat your baby. sad.gif

#16 Puffin

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:17 AM

QUOTE (HezzaB @ 27/02/2013, 09:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sounds weird but breast milk up his nose may help clear it a bit.



This.
Breast milk is great for him, so whatever amount you can give him, you are doing an awesome job.




#17 Kay1

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:18 AM

QUOTE
"His mum has had a lot of success financially so no one tells her off really." I think this part disturbed me the most - the fact she has money means she has a right to mistreat your baby.


Give the OP a break. The grandmother is not abusing the child, she just has very different views of child rearing and sounds horribly overbearing. We've all been there with in laws. Of course this seems more extreme and I think the lesson has been learned not to visit again, or at least not to stay with them for as long.

Good luck OP. Personally I'd feign illness myself and take him to bed with me and just feed, cuddle, sleep as much as possible and tell them you want to be left alone. Sounds like a horrible situation. I hope your DS is ok.

#18 lucky 2

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

QUOTE
Good luck OP. Personally I'd feign illness myself and take him to bed with me and just feed, cuddle, sleep as much as possible and tell them you want to be left alone. Sounds like a horrible situation. I hope your DS is ok.

Now that sounds like a good idea if you can pull it off.

#19 renee1979

Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:09 AM

No one seems to have mentioned dehydration... This is severely dangerous for all kids, especially babies under 12 months.  Putting formula into solids isnt going to help your child stay hydrated, and that is way more important.  Dehydrated babies can go downhill within hours, you need to go to emergency asap.  And keep offering the breast every half hour while he is sick.  YOU are your childs guardian and protector, it is YOUR responsibility to take care of him, if you can't stand up for yourself fine, but you NEED to stand up for the health of your bub, how would you feel if he ends up having a seizure from dehydration because you wouldn't stand up for him properly?  You're an adult, you're a mum, start taking your responsibilities properly, he may not be able to make it through till friday, and it is dangerous for really sick and dehydrated bubs to fly so get onto it NOW!  This is not a situation where you can just put your head in the sand until friday, wake up woman!!

#20 Blueberrymummy

Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:26 AM

I can relate... When I lived overseas I couldn't rely on the doctors or medication there. From desperation I found a home remedy online that worked so well and made him better almost instantly. I infused olive oil with raw garlic and put it on his feet (with the chopped raw garlic as well), because the garlic has strong anti-viral and anti-biotic properties and can be absorbed through the skin. I used gladwrap and socks and kept it on for a couple of hours, but kept checking his feet regularly. It sounds really out there but it literally made his fever disappear within half an hour and the next day he was completely better.

#21 Accidental

Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:35 AM

I have particular no advice (other than breast milk ftw) but I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you, and I'm sure you're doing your best, and I hope everything goes smoothly when you make your escape tomorrow!

Ovbearing family, unfamiliar medical systems and young babies are a terrible mix. Feel free to be as rude as necessary to get what your baby needs. Far better to have hurt feelings than a sicker baby!

#22 FeralFemboside

Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:13 AM

Am I understanding correctly that you're allowing your MIL who has been diagnosed with Typhoid to handle your child's food? She is potentially shedding bacteria and passing it on to him...it's not just transmitted by water contaminated by sewage.


Seriously - IMO nothing should go in that child's mouth unless you prepare it yourself. And your breastmilk (apart from helping his immune system) is 100% safe and clean. Formula made up with water in a household that has unwell people in it is not.


I bet you can't wait to get out of there. First thing when you're back - doctor appointment!

Edited because I said virus when I meant bacteria.

Edited by Femboside, 28 February 2013 - 08:24 PM.


#23 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 28 February 2013 - 12:08 PM

QUOTE (c.sanders @ 28/02/2013, 06:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Another frustrating day almost over....i am definitely  trying to bf despite the opposition  but because  he keeps throwing  up n sometimes  unable to clear his nose we've started putting formula in his solids so at least he is getting  the calcium.
He has lost at least half a kilo .


This is sounding very worrying. Babies should not be losing weight like like.  I really think you should see about bringing your flights forward - if bub gets too sick you might be denied boarding and you will be stuck there in a local hospital.


#24 9ferals

Posted 28 February 2013 - 12:14 PM

Do you have travel insurance? (Please tell me you have travel insurance!).

Call the insurance company emergency number and ask them to recommend a local doctor or clinic.  Talk to their medical staff and tell them how long he has been sick and ask whether they recommend you cut your trip short and come home.

That's why you pay money for insurance, so you have some support when things like this happen.

Good luck.

#25 c.sanders

Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:10 PM

.

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:25 AM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Why I breastfed my son until he was three

The fact that I not only breastfed my son, but breastfed him for three and a half years, seems pretty incredible in retrospect.

Do babies and young children see ghosts?

Do babies and young children see ghosts? If you’ve pondered the question, you’re not alone.

15 years with Essential Baby: meet Therese

"Life has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it the most."

Mum causes a stir by taking a stand against leggings

A mum has found herself the subject of debate after claiming tight bottoms cause lustful thoughts in men.

Don't set a parenting goal for 2015 - do this instead

The problem with goal setting as a parent is the measure. How do we really know if we’re succeeding?

5 pregnancy myths that just won't go away

When you're expecting, it often seems like everyone is keen to offer advice about what you should and shouldn't do in the interests of your health and wellbeing.

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.