Jump to content

bad choices
need to get this off my chest


  • Please log in to reply
53 replies to this topic

#1 c.sanders

Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:48 PM

Removed in case anyone  we know is on here

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:15 AM.


#2 Zephie Chugger

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:09 PM

((hugs))

Are you staying with your in-laws or in a Western Hotel? Maybe book into one for a few days and see a doctor connected to the hotel. If your DD  is still throwing up I'ld be getting on the flight home and to the hospital before heading home.Bring all the diff types of meds you have been giving him to show the Doctor.

#3 Kay1

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:20 PM

Oh gosh how scary. Has he been vaccinated for typhoid? If I were you I'd be seeking proper medical advice (since you clearly feel the treatment you've received so far is bad). I like the idea of checking into a hotel...I'd need some space away in those circumstances. Also if you have travel insurance give them a call. We have had very helpful advice and assistance when ill when overseas.

#4 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:22 PM

Please keep up the breastfeeding too.   It's the best thing for him if he's ill. You can get stuff to clear out his nose if that is causing the difficulty.  

I'd be tempted to just get on a plane home.

Edited by meggs1, 27 February 2013 - 08:24 PM.


#5 Goggie

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:26 PM

It sounds like you're visiting?? I'd be getting on the next plane home if that's the case!

Hope he recovers quickly xo

#6 c.sanders

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:33 PM

?

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:20 AM.


#7 Tim Tam

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:44 PM

Try to keep the sneezers and coughers away from him till you leave. Even if they get upset, you will be gone in a few days and won't have to deal with them. Good luck and I hope your DS is feeling better soon.

Edited by Flylikeabutterfly, 27 February 2013 - 08:44 PM.


#8 Goggie

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:44 PM

QUOTE (c.sanders @ 27/02/2013, 09:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The docs in Australia said he was too young for the typhoid  shot. But we've been very careful with his water n food despite my MIL trying to put inappropriate  stuff in his food like tumeric, stinky fish, onions,  a lot of salt, etc. She keeps going on that he drinks too much breastmilk n I've made him addicted! WTF!
She also won't allow him to put his toys in his mouth...instead she insists on giving him big chicken  bones...like a dog...

My DH  is so thoughtful, courteous n  good, i know he feels the same but i can't talk to him because  then he will get upset.


Please keep breasfeeding, it will protect his immune system until you get home.

On another note, I don't understand how you can't talk to your DH about it. He's your husband. Your partner in life. The person you should confide in. The father of your child. Why can't talk you to him about your concerns over this? I don't get it.

#9 Blossom11

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:51 PM

I was in a third world country last year and many people I was travelling with got sick. I almost broke my ankle and they said to use the hotel towels to wrap it as they had no bandages so I know how you feel.

My friend got antibiotics but wasn't getting better. I told her to go straight to hospital emergency when we got back as I knew from previous experience that she was in a bad way.

Anyway, the antibiotics that she was given at the third world hospital were wrong and they weren't even the right strength so the hospital took them to look into the situation.

Please be careful what you are giving your baby. Honestly if you can leave now I would but I understand that may not be possible. When you get home - please go to the nearest hospital. If you have travel insurance, they may help you get home earlier.

Try and clear the nose and keep breastfeeding. Try and keep away from the rellies as well. Don't worry about the comments either. Just remember they come from a totally different lifestyle.

ETA- Don't beat yourself up over your choices.  Trust me you will have plenty more to add to (My 2 dd's are 11 and 7).

Edited by Blossom11, 27 February 2013 - 08:55 PM.


#10 FeralHez

Posted 27 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

I would say something to your husband, it's his child's health too. You and bub need him in your corner.

I want to repeat what the others have said, keep breast feeding as much as you can. Sounds weird but breast milk up his nose may help clear it a bit.

Hopefully once you get home in a couple of days you won't need to go out visiting again for a while...

#11 43 other ferals

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:07 PM

Are you able to make calls from where you are?

I'd be talking to
- your travel insurer, if you have one;
- DFAT; or
- an Australian hospital, for over the phone medical advice

A medical evac may be possible if the situation seems serious.

My 8th month old wound up in hospital in Bali having a head x-ray with the most scary old x-ray machine possible.  I was terrified he was seriously hurt or could get cancer one day from the dodgy machine.  You will feel so much better when you get home.  

Hope Friday comes soon.

#12 c.sanders

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:48 AM

.

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:21 AM.


#13 43 other ferals

Posted 28 February 2013 - 06:00 AM

Your MIL sounds like an incredibly difficult person to deal with.  You're doing well to cope with all of that and a sick child.

I'm looking forward to hearing that you're home and all of this stress and worry is behind you and your husband.  It does sound like he is in a very awkward position.

#14 lucky 2

Posted 28 February 2013 - 08:39 AM

Sorry to hear all this OP, you'll be home soon and hopefully you can get a medical check for your baby asap after getting home.
The compromise of giving formula in food sounds ok, if you need to get milk into him you could also express some milk into a clean cup and put that in his food, expressing by hand if need be. Or giving him sips by cup.
Is he having some boiled water?
Once you get away from your family and on the plane it might help for him to be on your chest a lot and he may take the breast.
How long is the plane trip home?

#15 Tobias'smum

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:05 AM

I would be packing my child and me up and takig the next flight home , i dont care whose mum/family it is i would never let someone do these things to my son If my husband couldnt stand up to his family to protect our son this would be a major problem in our marriage.

I dont undterstand why people allow others to treat their babies poorly - as parents we are their defenders.

I know it can be hard to tell others to back off or go away but thats our job

"His mum has had a lot of success financially so no one tells her off really."
I think this part disturbed me the most - the fact she has money means she has a right to mistreat your baby. sad.gif

#16 Puffin

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:17 AM

QUOTE (HezzaB @ 27/02/2013, 09:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sounds weird but breast milk up his nose may help clear it a bit.



This.
Breast milk is great for him, so whatever amount you can give him, you are doing an awesome job.




#17 Kay1

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:18 AM

QUOTE
"His mum has had a lot of success financially so no one tells her off really." I think this part disturbed me the most - the fact she has money means she has a right to mistreat your baby.


Give the OP a break. The grandmother is not abusing the child, she just has very different views of child rearing and sounds horribly overbearing. We've all been there with in laws. Of course this seems more extreme and I think the lesson has been learned not to visit again, or at least not to stay with them for as long.

Good luck OP. Personally I'd feign illness myself and take him to bed with me and just feed, cuddle, sleep as much as possible and tell them you want to be left alone. Sounds like a horrible situation. I hope your DS is ok.

#18 lucky 2

Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

QUOTE
Good luck OP. Personally I'd feign illness myself and take him to bed with me and just feed, cuddle, sleep as much as possible and tell them you want to be left alone. Sounds like a horrible situation. I hope your DS is ok.

Now that sounds like a good idea if you can pull it off.

#19 renee1979

Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:09 AM

No one seems to have mentioned dehydration... This is severely dangerous for all kids, especially babies under 12 months.  Putting formula into solids isnt going to help your child stay hydrated, and that is way more important.  Dehydrated babies can go downhill within hours, you need to go to emergency asap.  And keep offering the breast every half hour while he is sick.  YOU are your childs guardian and protector, it is YOUR responsibility to take care of him, if you can't stand up for yourself fine, but you NEED to stand up for the health of your bub, how would you feel if he ends up having a seizure from dehydration because you wouldn't stand up for him properly?  You're an adult, you're a mum, start taking your responsibilities properly, he may not be able to make it through till friday, and it is dangerous for really sick and dehydrated bubs to fly so get onto it NOW!  This is not a situation where you can just put your head in the sand until friday, wake up woman!!

#20 Blueberrymummy

Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:26 AM

I can relate... When I lived overseas I couldn't rely on the doctors or medication there. From desperation I found a home remedy online that worked so well and made him better almost instantly. I infused olive oil with raw garlic and put it on his feet (with the chopped raw garlic as well), because the garlic has strong anti-viral and anti-biotic properties and can be absorbed through the skin. I used gladwrap and socks and kept it on for a couple of hours, but kept checking his feet regularly. It sounds really out there but it literally made his fever disappear within half an hour and the next day he was completely better.

#21 Accidental

Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:35 AM

I have particular no advice (other than breast milk ftw) but I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you, and I'm sure you're doing your best, and I hope everything goes smoothly when you make your escape tomorrow!

Ovbearing family, unfamiliar medical systems and young babies are a terrible mix. Feel free to be as rude as necessary to get what your baby needs. Far better to have hurt feelings than a sicker baby!

#22 FeralFemboside

Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:13 AM

Am I understanding correctly that you're allowing your MIL who has been diagnosed with Typhoid to handle your child's food? She is potentially shedding bacteria and passing it on to him...it's not just transmitted by water contaminated by sewage.


Seriously - IMO nothing should go in that child's mouth unless you prepare it yourself. And your breastmilk (apart from helping his immune system) is 100% safe and clean. Formula made up with water in a household that has unwell people in it is not.


I bet you can't wait to get out of there. First thing when you're back - doctor appointment!

Edited because I said virus when I meant bacteria.

Edited by Femboside, 28 February 2013 - 08:24 PM.


#23 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 28 February 2013 - 12:08 PM

QUOTE (c.sanders @ 28/02/2013, 06:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Another frustrating day almost over....i am definitely  trying to bf despite the opposition  but because  he keeps throwing  up n sometimes  unable to clear his nose we've started putting formula in his solids so at least he is getting  the calcium.
He has lost at least half a kilo .


This is sounding very worrying. Babies should not be losing weight like like.  I really think you should see about bringing your flights forward - if bub gets too sick you might be denied boarding and you will be stuck there in a local hospital.


#24 9ferals

Posted 28 February 2013 - 12:14 PM

Do you have travel insurance? (Please tell me you have travel insurance!).

Call the insurance company emergency number and ask them to recommend a local doctor or clinic.  Talk to their medical staff and tell them how long he has been sick and ask whether they recommend you cut your trip short and come home.

That's why you pay money for insurance, so you have some support when things like this happen.

Good luck.

#25 c.sanders

Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:10 PM

.

Edited by c.sanders, 17 June 2013 - 12:25 AM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.