Jump to content

Major parenting fail moment.


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 3mummy3

Posted 27 February 2013 - 02:45 PM

Im ashamed to say I am having a major parenting fail at the moment. My ds 14 has a healthy relationships day at school next week which requires me to write a letter of affirmation to him to open on the day. The letter has three paragraphs:
I am proud of you...
The talents i see in you are... And
As you grow, i hope...

I am completely at a loss as to what to write to my son. How can any decent mother not be able to find anything to write about???

#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 27 February 2013 - 02:59 PM

That's why they are making you do the task: because it's not the sort of thing many people do naturally or easily.

Would it help to look through your photographs from birth onwards?

Edited by meggs1, 27 February 2013 - 03:00 PM.


#3 emwill

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:01 PM

I'm sure that it is not because you have nothing to write about your DS, it's just trying to find the words in which to say it.
I find it hard to express emotions in words, but I also had to do a similar letter to my DS for a school retreat.
I ended up writing how proud I was that he was grown into a wonderful young man. What a fantastic big brother he was.
How kind and thoughtful he is to others. That he is respectful, warm, funny and honest. And how I hope he will always know how much he is loved and that I wish him lots of love, laughter and happiness.
Hope that helps a little.

#4 Superman+4sisters

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:46 PM

I think it's also that we're used to looking at their flaws, where we're trying to help them to grow in various areas. For example our eldest got an end of year award from school at a time when we were tearing our hair out with some issues going on. I suppose the people at school get an entirely different perspective than we get in day to day life.

Maybe think about the various parts of his life - school, out of school activities, friends, family life for example - and jotting down a few strengths and positives for each of these areas. Maybe even look at him through the eyes of others, leaving out the faults we as family are so aware of.

And look at this as a chance to dream a little of the man he's going to grow into. It won't be long now original.gif

Good luck!

#5 2_little_boys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:51 PM

My sister did this last year for her daughter.  She spent about 3 weeks doing it with it coming to me at least once a day for revision, editing and for me to add anything I could think of.

I really dont think its an easy task, no matter how amazing and fantastic the child is.

#6 frizzle

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:12 PM

Start with bullet points then build it from there. Is he kind to others, confident, assertive, thoughtful, considerate? Good with animals or children, grandparents something that shows a different side?

#7 JapNFeral

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:14 PM

QUOTE (3mummy3 @ 27/02/2013, 03:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im ashamed to say I am having a major parenting fail at the moment. My ds 14 has a healthy relationships day at school next week which requires me to write a letter of affirmation to him to open on the day. The letter has three paragraphs:
I am proud of you...
The talents i see in you are... And
As you grow, i hope...

I am completely at a loss as to what to write to my son. How can any decent mother not be able to find anything to write about???

Start with a list of good and not so good points for your DS. That will help.

#8 MidnightDad

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:15 PM

Next week? Girl, you is lucky. I went along to a school evening last week with DD2 and at one point we were all asked to stand and face each other (parent to child). We were asked to tell the other two things we most liked about them then and there.

Lots and lots of nervous muttering, groans and shuffling from parents and kids alike I can tell you.

#9 butterflydreaming

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (MidnightDad @ 28/02/2013, 03:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Next week? Girl, you is lucky. I went along to a school evening last week with DD2 and at one point we were all asked to stand and face each other (parent to child). We were asked to tell the other two things we most liked about them then and there.

Lots and lots of nervous muttering, groans and shuffling from parents and kids alike I can tell you.



I don't get it. Why would it be hard to find two things you like about your child even if put on the spot? I could easily give you a list of things I like about my three year old DS and even my 11 year old DSD. If you can't think of something you like about your child then you spend far too long focusing on the negatives and not nurturing their positives imo.

#10 Jax12

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:31 PM

I would let it sit for a while OP.  I had a similar attack of 'OMG I'm a terrible mother' when I struggled to fill in the strengths/weaknesses and likes/dislikes for DS when he started daycare at 10 months old.  I had no idea.  I knew people telling me their 8 week old loved the colour yellow - I never picked up on anything like that.  And I have been a teacher so felt like it should be extra easy for me to make assessments on my son...but at first thought I had nothing.  I made a few dot points and resolved myself to being crap at parenting.  But after a while, without meaning to, I began noticing things (that I already knew) and realising that I was thinking too hard and to just let it come naturally to me.  I ended up with a detailed list for all sections.

I think it's a really worthwhile exercise actually to help you connect those thoughts and feelings that we all have but are sometimes too busy to appreciate or articulate.  Good luck with it and I hope your DS appreciates the letter.  original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.