Jump to content

Major parenting fail moment.


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 3mummy3

Posted 27 February 2013 - 02:45 PM

Im ashamed to say I am having a major parenting fail at the moment. My ds 14 has a healthy relationships day at school next week which requires me to write a letter of affirmation to him to open on the day. The letter has three paragraphs:
I am proud of you...
The talents i see in you are... And
As you grow, i hope...

I am completely at a loss as to what to write to my son. How can any decent mother not be able to find anything to write about???

#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 27 February 2013 - 02:59 PM

That's why they are making you do the task: because it's not the sort of thing many people do naturally or easily.

Would it help to look through your photographs from birth onwards?

Edited by meggs1, 27 February 2013 - 03:00 PM.


#3 emwill

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:01 PM

I'm sure that it is not because you have nothing to write about your DS, it's just trying to find the words in which to say it.
I find it hard to express emotions in words, but I also had to do a similar letter to my DS for a school retreat.
I ended up writing how proud I was that he was grown into a wonderful young man. What a fantastic big brother he was.
How kind and thoughtful he is to others. That he is respectful, warm, funny and honest. And how I hope he will always know how much he is loved and that I wish him lots of love, laughter and happiness.
Hope that helps a little.

#4 Superman+4sisters

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:46 PM

I think it's also that we're used to looking at their flaws, where we're trying to help them to grow in various areas. For example our eldest got an end of year award from school at a time when we were tearing our hair out with some issues going on. I suppose the people at school get an entirely different perspective than we get in day to day life.

Maybe think about the various parts of his life - school, out of school activities, friends, family life for example - and jotting down a few strengths and positives for each of these areas. Maybe even look at him through the eyes of others, leaving out the faults we as family are so aware of.

And look at this as a chance to dream a little of the man he's going to grow into. It won't be long now original.gif

Good luck!

#5 2_little_boys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:51 PM

My sister did this last year for her daughter.  She spent about 3 weeks doing it with it coming to me at least once a day for revision, editing and for me to add anything I could think of.

I really dont think its an easy task, no matter how amazing and fantastic the child is.

#6 frizzle

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:12 PM

Start with bullet points then build it from there. Is he kind to others, confident, assertive, thoughtful, considerate? Good with animals or children, grandparents something that shows a different side?

#7 JapNFeral

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:14 PM

QUOTE (3mummy3 @ 27/02/2013, 03:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im ashamed to say I am having a major parenting fail at the moment. My ds 14 has a healthy relationships day at school next week which requires me to write a letter of affirmation to him to open on the day. The letter has three paragraphs:
I am proud of you...
The talents i see in you are... And
As you grow, i hope...

I am completely at a loss as to what to write to my son. How can any decent mother not be able to find anything to write about???

Start with a list of good and not so good points for your DS. That will help.

#8 MidnightDad

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:15 PM

Next week? Girl, you is lucky. I went along to a school evening last week with DD2 and at one point we were all asked to stand and face each other (parent to child). We were asked to tell the other two things we most liked about them then and there.

Lots and lots of nervous muttering, groans and shuffling from parents and kids alike I can tell you.

#9 butterflydreaming

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (MidnightDad @ 28/02/2013, 03:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Next week? Girl, you is lucky. I went along to a school evening last week with DD2 and at one point we were all asked to stand and face each other (parent to child). We were asked to tell the other two things we most liked about them then and there.

Lots and lots of nervous muttering, groans and shuffling from parents and kids alike I can tell you.



I don't get it. Why would it be hard to find two things you like about your child even if put on the spot? I could easily give you a list of things I like about my three year old DS and even my 11 year old DSD. If you can't think of something you like about your child then you spend far too long focusing on the negatives and not nurturing their positives imo.

#10 Jax12

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:31 PM

I would let it sit for a while OP.  I had a similar attack of 'OMG I'm a terrible mother' when I struggled to fill in the strengths/weaknesses and likes/dislikes for DS when he started daycare at 10 months old.  I had no idea.  I knew people telling me their 8 week old loved the colour yellow - I never picked up on anything like that.  And I have been a teacher so felt like it should be extra easy for me to make assessments on my son...but at first thought I had nothing.  I made a few dot points and resolved myself to being crap at parenting.  But after a while, without meaning to, I began noticing things (that I already knew) and realising that I was thinking too hard and to just let it come naturally to me.  I ended up with a detailed list for all sections.

I think it's a really worthwhile exercise actually to help you connect those thoughts and feelings that we all have but are sometimes too busy to appreciate or articulate.  Good luck with it and I hope your DS appreciates the letter.  original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.