Jump to content

Major parenting fail moment.


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 3mummy3

Posted 27 February 2013 - 02:45 PM

Im ashamed to say I am having a major parenting fail at the moment. My ds 14 has a healthy relationships day at school next week which requires me to write a letter of affirmation to him to open on the day. The letter has three paragraphs:
I am proud of you...
The talents i see in you are... And
As you grow, i hope...

I am completely at a loss as to what to write to my son. How can any decent mother not be able to find anything to write about???

#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 27 February 2013 - 02:59 PM

That's why they are making you do the task: because it's not the sort of thing many people do naturally or easily.

Would it help to look through your photographs from birth onwards?

Edited by meggs1, 27 February 2013 - 03:00 PM.


#3 emwill

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:01 PM

I'm sure that it is not because you have nothing to write about your DS, it's just trying to find the words in which to say it.
I find it hard to express emotions in words, but I also had to do a similar letter to my DS for a school retreat.
I ended up writing how proud I was that he was grown into a wonderful young man. What a fantastic big brother he was.
How kind and thoughtful he is to others. That he is respectful, warm, funny and honest. And how I hope he will always know how much he is loved and that I wish him lots of love, laughter and happiness.
Hope that helps a little.

#4 Superman+4sisters

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:46 PM

I think it's also that we're used to looking at their flaws, where we're trying to help them to grow in various areas. For example our eldest got an end of year award from school at a time when we were tearing our hair out with some issues going on. I suppose the people at school get an entirely different perspective than we get in day to day life.

Maybe think about the various parts of his life - school, out of school activities, friends, family life for example - and jotting down a few strengths and positives for each of these areas. Maybe even look at him through the eyes of others, leaving out the faults we as family are so aware of.

And look at this as a chance to dream a little of the man he's going to grow into. It won't be long now original.gif

Good luck!

#5 2_little_boys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:51 PM

My sister did this last year for her daughter.  She spent about 3 weeks doing it with it coming to me at least once a day for revision, editing and for me to add anything I could think of.

I really dont think its an easy task, no matter how amazing and fantastic the child is.

#6 frizzle

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:12 PM

Start with bullet points then build it from there. Is he kind to others, confident, assertive, thoughtful, considerate? Good with animals or children, grandparents something that shows a different side?

#7 JapNFeral

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:14 PM

QUOTE (3mummy3 @ 27/02/2013, 03:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im ashamed to say I am having a major parenting fail at the moment. My ds 14 has a healthy relationships day at school next week which requires me to write a letter of affirmation to him to open on the day. The letter has three paragraphs:
I am proud of you...
The talents i see in you are... And
As you grow, i hope...

I am completely at a loss as to what to write to my son. How can any decent mother not be able to find anything to write about???

Start with a list of good and not so good points for your DS. That will help.

#8 MidnightDad

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:15 PM

Next week? Girl, you is lucky. I went along to a school evening last week with DD2 and at one point we were all asked to stand and face each other (parent to child). We were asked to tell the other two things we most liked about them then and there.

Lots and lots of nervous muttering, groans and shuffling from parents and kids alike I can tell you.

#9 butterflydreaming

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (MidnightDad @ 28/02/2013, 03:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Next week? Girl, you is lucky. I went along to a school evening last week with DD2 and at one point we were all asked to stand and face each other (parent to child). We were asked to tell the other two things we most liked about them then and there.

Lots and lots of nervous muttering, groans and shuffling from parents and kids alike I can tell you.



I don't get it. Why would it be hard to find two things you like about your child even if put on the spot? I could easily give you a list of things I like about my three year old DS and even my 11 year old DSD. If you can't think of something you like about your child then you spend far too long focusing on the negatives and not nurturing their positives imo.

#10 Jax12

Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:31 PM

I would let it sit for a while OP.  I had a similar attack of 'OMG I'm a terrible mother' when I struggled to fill in the strengths/weaknesses and likes/dislikes for DS when he started daycare at 10 months old.  I had no idea.  I knew people telling me their 8 week old loved the colour yellow - I never picked up on anything like that.  And I have been a teacher so felt like it should be extra easy for me to make assessments on my son...but at first thought I had nothing.  I made a few dot points and resolved myself to being crap at parenting.  But after a while, without meaning to, I began noticing things (that I already knew) and realising that I was thinking too hard and to just let it come naturally to me.  I ended up with a detailed list for all sections.

I think it's a really worthwhile exercise actually to help you connect those thoughts and feelings that we all have but are sometimes too busy to appreciate or articulate.  Good luck with it and I hope your DS appreciates the letter.  original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss, as it involves toilet talk. But it needs to be talked about.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.