Jump to content

Only child


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 indy's guys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:46 AM

This may not be the best forum but I could not find an only child forum and not sure where to post.

DS is 6 and an only child. He has never really raised it as an issue until the last month or so. We now get sobs about wanting a brother or sister. it has happened several times now. I am almost 46, DH 51 and he had the snip. So a sibling is out of the question. We got pregnant when DS was 2 but had a miscarriage and it was a very unusual pregnancy which would not have gone to term. So that gave us a fright about what could go wrong given our ages, and we lost our nerve. Plus I grieved for a long time. Then he seemed happy and we didn't want to upset the apple cart for any of us. So we waited for a few years. Lst year hubby had the snip for fear of pregnancy going wrong due to our advanced age.

We have explained to DS why we can't have a baby (well, minus the snip bit). Most of his friends and classmates have anywhere between 1 and 3 siblings which adds insult to injury (not only he does not have a sib but he is the only one who doesn't in his little world, other than one girl in his class).

I guess I was naive to think it wouldn't come up at some point. I now need to help DS to come to terms with it, without letting it tear me apart.

I thought finding some books about being an only child might be a good starting point. Does anyone have suggestions of useful resources?

Thank you.
:-)

#2 Mamma_mia

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

It's hard isn't it. sad.gif We are in the same/similar situation. DS is 6 and is about the only child in his year (45 kids) that i know of without a sibling. He is always asking why he doesn't have a brother or sister. I tell him it's because mummy is too old to have another baby (I'm 43), but in reality it's because his father didn't want to have any more. glare.gif I was 36 when I had DS and we could have had another, but his father just refused. Sometimes I feel like telling him that, but of course I won't.

I just tell DS the old "families come in all different sizes" etc. And DH and I tell him he wouldn't like having to share his toys etc. Which is not much consolation of course. I'm not sure what to do, to be honest - will be interested to see other replies to this thread which will be more helpful than mine. Good luck. original.gif

#3 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM

I wouldn't worry too much about his classmates - most kids are the only one of something, such as the only one with no siblings, or the only one with 7 siblings, or the only one that has a particular hobby, or the only one with no pets etc.

I'm an only child, and as I got older, I got to appreciate the opportunities I had that I may not have had my parents had any more children - I got to do a wide range of extra-curricular activities, lots of travel, my parent had lots of time for me.

Edited for grammar.

Edited by SlinkyMalinki, 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM.


#4 Chocolate Addict

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:06 AM

Thankfully my son has a few other only children in his class.

He has asked why he doesn't every now and then and I say various reasons why but then come up with stuff like 'if you had a brother or sister you wouldn't have so many toys/fun things to do' etc.. and he is fairly happy with that. original.gif

Thank fully he is pretty easy going so moves on easily.

I have no helpful ideas, though, sorry.

Oh, does he have a pet, like a dog or cat to play with? we only have budgies but my son loves them and interacts with them a lot. lol

#5 indy's guys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:11 AM

Thanks for the responses so far. I think the comparison to others is a child's natural desire to be like everyone else. He feels different. He has in the past been able to see the advantages of an only child but right now even saying how much of a pain his friend's brother can be, does not realise that he would feel the same about a sibling himself.
We have lots of pets, that was ok for a while but now it doesn't cut it any more...




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Video: 10-week-old baby sounds like she says 'I love you'

It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.

I only enjoyed pregnancy after booking my caesarean

To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.

When your bundle doesn't bring immediate joy

One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.

Lessons learned from my toddler

Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.

Family welcomes first baby girl in more than 100 years

The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.

When a community of kindness steps in

In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.

Mum in Business: Jac Bowie

Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.

What not to say to a mum of twins

Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.

The mums suing over unplanned babies

A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.

Video: Dad sings 'Hallelujah' to his daughter every year

It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.

Constipation in babies when starting solids

While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.

Parents reunited with baby snatched from hospital

A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?

Life on the other side of the fence: Why I'm child-free and quite content

Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

My Wellbeing

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.