Jump to content

Only child


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 indy's guys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:46 AM

This may not be the best forum but I could not find an only child forum and not sure where to post.

DS is 6 and an only child. He has never really raised it as an issue until the last month or so. We now get sobs about wanting a brother or sister. it has happened several times now. I am almost 46, DH 51 and he had the snip. So a sibling is out of the question. We got pregnant when DS was 2 but had a miscarriage and it was a very unusual pregnancy which would not have gone to term. So that gave us a fright about what could go wrong given our ages, and we lost our nerve. Plus I grieved for a long time. Then he seemed happy and we didn't want to upset the apple cart for any of us. So we waited for a few years. Lst year hubby had the snip for fear of pregnancy going wrong due to our advanced age.

We have explained to DS why we can't have a baby (well, minus the snip bit). Most of his friends and classmates have anywhere between 1 and 3 siblings which adds insult to injury (not only he does not have a sib but he is the only one who doesn't in his little world, other than one girl in his class).

I guess I was naive to think it wouldn't come up at some point. I now need to help DS to come to terms with it, without letting it tear me apart.

I thought finding some books about being an only child might be a good starting point. Does anyone have suggestions of useful resources?

Thank you.
:-)

#2 Mamma_mia

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

It's hard isn't it. sad.gif We are in the same/similar situation. DS is 6 and is about the only child in his year (45 kids) that i know of without a sibling. He is always asking why he doesn't have a brother or sister. I tell him it's because mummy is too old to have another baby (I'm 43), but in reality it's because his father didn't want to have any more. glare.gif I was 36 when I had DS and we could have had another, but his father just refused. Sometimes I feel like telling him that, but of course I won't.

I just tell DS the old "families come in all different sizes" etc. And DH and I tell him he wouldn't like having to share his toys etc. Which is not much consolation of course. I'm not sure what to do, to be honest - will be interested to see other replies to this thread which will be more helpful than mine. Good luck. original.gif

#3 FeralMalinki

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM

I wouldn't worry too much about his classmates - most kids are the only one of something, such as the only one with no siblings, or the only one with 7 siblings, or the only one that has a particular hobby, or the only one with no pets etc.

I'm an only child, and as I got older, I got to appreciate the opportunities I had that I may not have had my parents had any more children - I got to do a wide range of extra-curricular activities, lots of travel, my parent had lots of time for me.

Edited for grammar.

Edited by SlinkyMalinki, 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM.


#4 Chocolate Addict

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:06 AM

Thankfully my son has a few other only children in his class.

He has asked why he doesn't every now and then and I say various reasons why but then come up with stuff like 'if you had a brother or sister you wouldn't have so many toys/fun things to do' etc.. and he is fairly happy with that. original.gif

Thank fully he is pretty easy going so moves on easily.

I have no helpful ideas, though, sorry.

Oh, does he have a pet, like a dog or cat to play with? we only have budgies but my son loves them and interacts with them a lot. lol

#5 indy's guys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:11 AM

Thanks for the responses so far. I think the comparison to others is a child's natural desire to be like everyone else. He feels different. He has in the past been able to see the advantages of an only child but right now even saying how much of a pain his friend's brother can be, does not realise that he would feel the same about a sibling himself.
We have lots of pets, that was ok for a while but now it doesn't cut it any more...




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Why couples with daughters are more likely to divorce

Couples with daughters have higher divorce rates than those with boys. A new study reveals why that is the case.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.