Jump to content

Only child


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 indy's guys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:46 AM

This may not be the best forum but I could not find an only child forum and not sure where to post.

DS is 6 and an only child. He has never really raised it as an issue until the last month or so. We now get sobs about wanting a brother or sister. it has happened several times now. I am almost 46, DH 51 and he had the snip. So a sibling is out of the question. We got pregnant when DS was 2 but had a miscarriage and it was a very unusual pregnancy which would not have gone to term. So that gave us a fright about what could go wrong given our ages, and we lost our nerve. Plus I grieved for a long time. Then he seemed happy and we didn't want to upset the apple cart for any of us. So we waited for a few years. Lst year hubby had the snip for fear of pregnancy going wrong due to our advanced age.

We have explained to DS why we can't have a baby (well, minus the snip bit). Most of his friends and classmates have anywhere between 1 and 3 siblings which adds insult to injury (not only he does not have a sib but he is the only one who doesn't in his little world, other than one girl in his class).

I guess I was naive to think it wouldn't come up at some point. I now need to help DS to come to terms with it, without letting it tear me apart.

I thought finding some books about being an only child might be a good starting point. Does anyone have suggestions of useful resources?

Thank you.
:-)

#2 Scarlett O

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

It's hard isn't it. sad.gif We are in the same/similar situation. DS is 6 and is about the only child in his year (45 kids) that i know of without a sibling. He is always asking why he doesn't have a brother or sister. I tell him it's because mummy is too old to have another baby (I'm 43), but in reality it's because his father didn't want to have any more. glare.gif I was 36 when I had DS and we could have had another, but his father just refused. Sometimes I feel like telling him that, but of course I won't.

I just tell DS the old "families come in all different sizes" etc. And DH and I tell him he wouldn't like having to share his toys etc. Which is not much consolation of course. I'm not sure what to do, to be honest - will be interested to see other replies to this thread which will be more helpful than mine. Good luck. original.gif

#3 RainyDays

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM

I wouldn't worry too much about his classmates - most kids are the only one of something, such as the only one with no siblings, or the only one with 7 siblings, or the only one that has a particular hobby, or the only one with no pets etc.

I'm an only child, and as I got older, I got to appreciate the opportunities I had that I may not have had my parents had any more children - I got to do a wide range of extra-curricular activities, lots of travel, my parent had lots of time for me.

Edited for grammar.

Edited by SlinkyMalinki, 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM.


#4 Chocolate Addict

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:06 AM

Thankfully my son has a few other only children in his class.

He has asked why he doesn't every now and then and I say various reasons why but then come up with stuff like 'if you had a brother or sister you wouldn't have so many toys/fun things to do' etc.. and he is fairly happy with that. original.gif

Thank fully he is pretty easy going so moves on easily.

I have no helpful ideas, though, sorry.

Oh, does he have a pet, like a dog or cat to play with? we only have budgies but my son loves them and interacts with them a lot. lol

#5 indy's guys

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:11 AM

Thanks for the responses so far. I think the comparison to others is a child's natural desire to be like everyone else. He feels different. He has in the past been able to see the advantages of an only child but right now even saying how much of a pain his friend's brother can be, does not realise that he would feel the same about a sibling himself.
We have lots of pets, that was ok for a while but now it doesn't cut it any more...




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How an inquest into one stillbirth is saving lives

A ground-breaking court case that has focused solely on one stillborn baby has already helped to save the lives of other babies.

Get them into reading early with a Nouk book subscription

There's no bonding activity quite like reading to your baby or toddler, and all the signs point to it being important for social and literacy development as well.

I don't want my husband to go on a buck's trip

My husband's best friend is getting married and has planned a men's bachelor party.

The celeb parents who needed a mediator to stop fighting over baby names

Deciding on a baby name can be a fraught experience for many parents.

May Gibbs' 'Gumnut Babies' turns 100 with a special edition, coins, stamps and more

It's time to celebrate the centenary of May Gibbs' very first book release, Gumnut Babies.

African baby names

We have some absolutely gorgeous selections of African baby names for you to consider for your baby.

The mum who retrained to became a plumber

One company refused to give her an apprenticeship because they believed she would be too much of a distraction to the males. 

Meningococcal meningitis: signs, treatment and prevention

What is meningococcal meningitis, why does it occur in seasons, and why does it strike fear into the hearts of so many?

I was scared of the dentist ... and my son paid the price

It was a moment where I could certainly learn from his behaviour, and not him from mine.

Family of toddler killed by alligator at Disney honours his third birthday

The family told supporters that they wanted to celebrate the boy's "first birthday in heaven".

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

7 tips to help you prepare your home for parenthood

Prep your home to make becoming a new parent as stress-free as possible.

Fatherhood to the beat of Daniel's drum

Daniel Gibney knew fatherhood would change him, but he didn't realise it would lead to a global business venture for his family.

A case of gastro and the mummy mean girls

I don't blame any first-time mother who is terrified of her or her baby catching gastro, but it will find you eventually.

Zooey Deschanel's cake smash fail for daughter Elsie

"I kept seeing on the Internet, 'You gotta make a smash cake for your one-year-old,' so I'm like, 'I'm making this cake just so she can smash it.'"

Five things mums should never do

Although I preach the "each to their own" method of parenting, it's unavoidable to have those moments of panic.

Mum allegedly 'groped' while holding toddler in Sydney pool

A mum has told of her horror after she was allegedly sexually assaulted while at a swimming centre with her two young children.

'It whacked me': Michelle Bridges on sleep deprivation and returning to exercise

Michelle Bridges knows a lot about health and fitness, but when she became a mum she had to learn a few lessons the hard way.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Hawaii beachfront resort holiday for two!

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 4 trips for two to Hawaii, staying at Outrigger resorts in Waikiki.

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.