Jump to content
4 replies to this topic
Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:46 AM
This may not be the best forum but I could not find an only child forum and not sure where to post.
DS is 6 and an only child. He has never really raised it as an issue until the last month or so. We now get sobs about wanting a brother or sister. it has happened several times now. I am almost 46, DH 51 and he had the snip. So a sibling is out of the question. We got pregnant when DS was 2 but had a miscarriage and it was a very unusual pregnancy which would not have gone to term. So that gave us a fright about what could go wrong given our ages, and we lost our nerve. Plus I grieved for a long time. Then he seemed happy and we didn't want to upset the apple cart for any of us. So we waited for a few years. Lst year hubby had the snip for fear of pregnancy going wrong due to our advanced age.
We have explained to DS why we can't have a baby (well, minus the snip bit). Most of his friends and classmates have anywhere between 1 and 3 siblings which adds insult to injury (not only he does not have a sib but he is the only one who doesn't in his little world, other than one girl in his class).
I guess I was naive to think it wouldn't come up at some point. I now need to help DS to come to terms with it, without letting it tear me apart.
I thought finding some books about being an only child might be a good starting point. Does anyone have suggestions of useful resources?
Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:54 AM
It's hard isn't it. We are in the same/similar situation. DS is 6 and is about the only child in his year (45 kids) that i know of without a sibling. He is always asking why he doesn't have a brother or sister. I tell him it's because mummy is too old to have another baby (I'm 43), but in reality it's because his father didn't want to have any more. I was 36 when I had DS and we could have had another, but his father just refused. Sometimes I feel like telling him that, but of course I won't.
I just tell DS the old "families come in all different sizes" etc. And DH and I tell him he wouldn't like having to share his toys etc. Which is not much consolation of course. I'm not sure what to do, to be honest - will be interested to see other replies to this thread which will be more helpful than mine. Good luck.
Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM
I wouldn't worry too much about his classmates - most kids are the only one of something, such as the only one with no siblings, or the only one with 7 siblings, or the only one that has a particular hobby, or the only one with no pets etc.
I'm an only child, and as I got older, I got to appreciate the opportunities I had that I may not have had my parents had any more children - I got to do a wide range of extra-curricular activities, lots of travel, my parent had lots of time for me.
Edited for grammar.
Edited by SlinkyMalinki, 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM.
Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:06 AM
Thankfully my son has a few other only children in his class.
He has asked why he doesn't every now and then and I say various reasons why but then come up with stuff like 'if you had a brother or sister you wouldn't have so many toys/fun things to do' etc.. and he is fairly happy with that.
Thank fully he is pretty easy going so moves on easily.
I have no helpful ideas, though, sorry.
Oh, does he have a pet, like a dog or cat to play with? we only have budgies but my son loves them and interacts with them a lot. lol
Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:11 AM
Thanks for the responses so far. I think the comparison to others is a child's natural desire to be like everyone else. He feels different. He has in the past been able to see the advantages of an only child but right now even saying how much of a pain his friend's brother can be, does not realise that he would feel the same about a sibling himself.
We have lots of pets, that was ok for a while but now it doesn't cut it any more...
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.
To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.
One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.
Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.
The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.
In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.
Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.
Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.
A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.
It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.
While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.
A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.
Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?
Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.
A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.
Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
Top 5 Articles
While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.
Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.
Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.
I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.
When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.
As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.
Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.
Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.
Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?
We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)
We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.