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Vampires and their love life
Fluffy and TMI (with vampires!)


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#1 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

OK, so according to Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries, vampires can have sex. According to Twilight, vampires can also reproduce. These concepts have been rattling around in my head for a while and I have a couple of questions:

I haven't read all the Twilight and Sookie books, so I"m not sure if it's been covered, but how can male vampires have sex? How do they get erections if they're the Undead? Do they get an erection from all the blood they drink? What do they ejaculate and how do they produce sperm?

Also, what happens if a human female partner of a vampire gets a period? Is it the equivalent of dangling a packet of chocolate biscuits in my face for five days, or does nothing compare to blood fresh from the neck?

Can any biologists, romance readers, or vampires please enlighten me?  tongue.gif

Edited for terrible grammar

Edited by silverstreak, 27 February 2013 - 11:52 PM.


#2 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:36 AM

I think the answer lies in the fact that you are talking about wishy-washy pretend vampires.

Proper vampires don't have sex and they don't have relatinships.  They just rip throats open to slake their bloodlust.  No sparkling and no moping required.

#3 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

This is the thing, Manatee, I do like this modern concept of Vampire / Human relationships, but I don't know how well the "mechanics" of it work. And the sparkling, ye gods, what's with that?

Oh and can Eric Northman please post in this thread too?

#4 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:44 AM

Back in the Buffy the Vampire slayer days, Angel and Buffy fell in love but if they had sex, didn't he lose his "soul" again and turn all blood lusty?

I don't know, its something that I've thought about too, all the differences. For eg, in the Sookie books, the vamps sleep during the day, but Twilight they don't?








*disclaimer* I know its all fiction!

#5 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM

Being a former game-runner of several Vampire type games, I can tell ya how the more imaginative players have worked this.

Erections: So, vampires need blood as they lost all their own in the vampire-making process. Some vampire players contend that the acquired blood is what animates the otherwise-dead vampire's body. As a vampire might force this blood to animate their legs to walk, they might also force the blood to form an erection. Twilighty types have a different take. The author provides that the natural body fluids and synaptic reactions are replaced by venom and that this venom makes vampires work in a similar fashion to humans, just never warm and with mega-hard/strong body tissues. Erection? No probs. Just a bit chilly.

Periods: Gamer take on this is that a well-fed vampire could resist the blood scent but that a hungry vampire would likely go into a frenzy state. I don't think Twilight covers this, though.

Pregnancy: Gamer take: Wellll, this is hotly contended. Some insist that vampires exist by magical means so therefore...magic happens. Others say "Sorry, dead people have no living sperm". Twilight take: Venom simulates human bodily function so well that a venom-based version of sperm still exists. Hence half human/half vamp kids. But the ability of most vampires to resist eating their lover in a most unpleasant fashion, and the tendency of these offspring to drain the life out of their human hosts/mothers, means it's not a commonly pondered issue.

Imagination is a beautiful...and sometimes ridiculous thing.

Edited by kpingitquiet, 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM.


#6 kelbelblue

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM

in the books Lauren K Hamillton writes, the male vampires can't have an erection until they drink blood, the drinking of the blood seems to be quite sexual too.
So I guess they either go to the bedroom after a little snack, or the blood drinking just adds to the excitement.
In hamillton's books, she generally haas them drink blood during the act, so that 'Anita' is always fully satisfied first. Also, in her books, the males seem to have gigantic penis', so this enables the females to swallow them completely before they are hard...
Sorry if this is TMI, I read these as a teenager and writing it out like this is hilaious original.gif

ETA, she doesn't really deal with the spem issue until later in the series, when we find out human can be impregnated by vamps (but not the other way around) but generally the baby half breed eats the mother...
In the Night Huntress Series, the vamp has to have been change within the last week or less for it to work, after that all the sperm die off...

Edited by kelbelblue, 27 February 2013 - 09:58 AM.


#7 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

Well if you want to get all down and dirty with a vamp I'm pretty sure you could use THIS. Don't look if you are at work or have kids around.


I can't help you with the semen though.

Edited by O TheHugeManatee, 27 February 2013 - 09:51 AM.


#8 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:51 AM

I don't know how a vampire would get an erection. Doesn't an erection usually occur when increased blood flow goes to the penis? (I could be wrong!)

So in that case if they were going to get erections after having a blood drink, wouldn't they get erections every time they had blood? How embarrassing.

I also thought vampires shot blanks. Do dead men have sperm? Surely even if it's alive for a while after they die, it would soon be gone, unless they a like cockroaches who can have sex and reproduce for a period of time after they die.

Ewwwwwww!

#9 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:53 AM

Now I'm even more confused, IjI211, I didn't know vampires had souls? Or hang on, wasn't Brad Pitt's character in Interview with a Vampire the only one to have a soul?

Now that I think of it, because the Twilight universe has vampires that never sleep, they can theoretically attack you at any time (unless they're "vegetarians"!) That's a bit harsh. At least in the Sookie universe people don't expect to be attacked by vampires during the day.

#10 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:53 AM

Also if male vampires can impregnant women can female vampires get pregnant?

#11 kelbelblue

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

QUOTE (O TheHugeManatee @ 27/02/2013, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well if you want to get all down and dirty with a vamp I'm pretty sure you could use THIS. Don't look if you are at work or have kids around.


I can't help you with the semen though.


How did you stumble across this little beauty? Or are they a must have accessory for all good Manatees (hope this is the correct plural)

#12 Cranky Kitten

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:56 AM

QUOTE (kpingitquiet @ 27/02/2013, 07:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Being a former game-runner of several Vampire type games, I can tell ya how the more imaginative players have worked this.

Erections: So, vampires need blood as they lost all their own in the vampire-making process. Some vampire players contend that the acquired blood is what animates the otherwise-dead vampire's body. As a vampire might force this blood to animate their legs to walk, they might also force the blood to form an erection. Twilighty types have a different take. The author provides that the natural body fluids and synaptic reactions are replaced by venom and that this venom makes vampires work in a similar fashion to humans, just never warm and with mega-hard/strong body tissues. Erection? No probs. Just a bit chilly.

Periods: Gamer take on this is that a well-fed vampire could resist the blood scent but that a hungry vampire would likely go into a frenzy state. I don't think Twilight covers this, though.

Pregnancy: Gamer take: Wellll, this is hotly contended. Some insist that vampires exist by magical means so therefore...magic happens. Others say "Sorry, dead people have no living sperm". Twilight take: Venom simulates human bodily function so well that a venom-based version of sperm still exists. Hence half human/half vamp kids. But the ability of most vampires to resist eating their lover in a most unpleasant fashion, and the tendency of these offspring to drain the life out of their human hosts/mothers, means it's not a commonly pondered issue.

Imagination is a beautiful...and sometimes ridiculous thing.


Requiem or Masquerade?

Sod these sparkly wimpy new age vamps. Give me a decent Dracula story any day, or even Lestat at a pinch, but never poor poor tormented whining Louis.

#13 Mamaof8

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM

In nearly all vampire movies/shows I've seen, if there is a sexual act then the vamp bites his lover as part of it and the woman gets all ht and horny ;)So maybe that lends to the blood giving them an erection hence her lust as he bites her?Lol the things we ponder

#14 Zahhy

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:00 AM

QUOTE
Also, what happens if a human female partner of a vampire gets a period? Is it the equivalent of dangling a packet of chocolate biscuits in my face for five days, or does nothing compare to blood fresh from the neck?


BAHAHAHAA!

Is it a sign of a sick mind that I have occasionally pondered the same thing in very similar terms?

#15 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#16 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#17 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#18 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:03 AM

Masquerade original.gif

While I have suffered through games where female vamps had babies, the general idea is that vampire tissue is either dead, unless forced to animate, or semi-petrified and hard. Universally, they are extraordinarily fast healers. So, the gist is either that the bodies are too dead to foster life, or are too unyielding/unchanging to accommodate the growth of a fetus. The healing ability would potentially make delivery by any means impossible, though. Stretched orifices and ripped tissues would heal too rapidly. Surgical cuts would do the same. The baby would have no way out.

#19 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:05 AM

Thanks for the gamer perspective kpingitquiet, very interesting! The Twilight venom concept is now confusing me even more. Twilight seems to have turned every concept I thought I knew about vampires on its head! *Shakes fist at Stephenie Meyer.*

Manatee, surely Eric Northman doesn't need one of those? laughing2.gif

Sunnycat, I also want to know if female vampires can get pregnant. Also, your cockroach analogy gave me some very strange visuals! roll2.gif

Kelbel, ok, the drinking blood beforehand makes sense. Perhaps it's the vampire equivalent of putting on a condom or going to the toilet beforehand?





#20 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:06 AM

Oh yeah, another theory on periods is that it is "dead blood," being expelled, and that's not terribly inaccurate if ya think about it, which some vampire universes consider poisonous.

#21 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (kelbelblue @ 27/02/2013, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How did you stumble across this little beauty? Or are they a must have accessory for all good Manatees (hope this is the correct plural)


I looked it up especially.  I'm helpful like that.


QUOTE (ljl211 @ 27/02/2013, 11:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?


Angel was a bad vampire named Angelus but then a gypsy laid a curse on him which restored his soul so that he would feel the anguish for all of his kills.  So he became a good vampire.  I don't recall where he got his blood from.   The curse was such that if he ever experieced a moment of true and complete happiness he would lose his soul again.  Bonking Buffy did the trick and he went all Angelus again.

#22 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (Tonberry @ 27/02/2013, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
BAHAHAHAA!

Is it a sign of a sick mind that I have occasionally pondered the same thing in very similar terms?


Haha, you and me both Tonberry!



#23 JaneLane

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:10 AM

QUOTE (ljl211 @ 27/02/2013, 10:44 AM)
15359385[/url]']
Back in the Buffy the Vampire slayer days, Angel and Buffy fell in love but if they had sex, didn't he lose his "soul" again and turn all blood lusty?

I don't know, its something that I've thought about too, all the differences. For eg, in the Sookie books, the vamps sleep during the day, but Twilight they don't?


Yes in Buffy, Angel is a vampire with a soul as he was cursed by gypsies.  The curse means if he ever found true love and pure happiness, he would loose his soul and go back to being a regular blood lusty vamp.  This pure happiness  event happened when he and Buffy finally got down and dirty wink.gif
I really love vampire stuff but Twilight kind of ruined it a bit for me.  It has made most people think you are a twihard if you like vamps.  I have never read the books or seen the movies and won't ever.
OP I have no idea how all of it works, every author has their own way of making their fantasy world a reality in writing.  I have been keen to write my own vamp story and when I get around to it I will obviously have to give this a lot of thought!  I don't think mine will be able to procreate though, that seems just a bit too silly for me!

Edited by blue4me, 27 February 2013 - 10:15 AM.


#24 Bluenomi

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:21 AM

QUOTE (O TheHugeManatee @ 27/02/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I looked it up especially.  I'm helpful like that.




Angel was a bad vampire named Angelus but then a gypsy laid a curse on him which restored his soul so that he would feel the anguish for all of his kills.  So he became a good vampire.  I don't recall where he got his blood from.   The curse was such that if he ever experieced a moment of true and complete happiness he would lose his soul again.  Bonking Buffy did the trick and he went all Angelus again.


In his woe is me days he drank from rats (eww) and later he was a big fan of blood banks  biggrin.gif I gather various animals are a close match but not as good as the human stuff

#25 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:29 AM

Cranky Kitten, agree, Louis was such an emo! Maybe he needed more sparkle?  wink.gif

ljl, that's interesting that vampires can develop a soul, perhaps the redeeming power of love? The romantic in me is very happy with that.

Mamaof8, ah, that makes sense too!





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