Jump to content

Vampires and their love life
Fluffy and TMI (with vampires!)


  • Please log in to reply
75 replies to this topic

#1 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

OK, so according to Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries, vampires can have sex. According to Twilight, vampires can also reproduce. These concepts have been rattling around in my head for a while and I have a couple of questions:

I haven't read all the Twilight and Sookie books, so I"m not sure if it's been covered, but how can male vampires have sex? How do they get erections if they're the Undead? Do they get an erection from all the blood they drink? What do they ejaculate and how do they produce sperm?

Also, what happens if a human female partner of a vampire gets a period? Is it the equivalent of dangling a packet of chocolate biscuits in my face for five days, or does nothing compare to blood fresh from the neck?

Can any biologists, romance readers, or vampires please enlighten me?  tongue.gif

Edited for terrible grammar

Edited by silverstreak, 27 February 2013 - 11:52 PM.


#2 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:36 AM

I think the answer lies in the fact that you are talking about wishy-washy pretend vampires.

Proper vampires don't have sex and they don't have relatinships.  They just rip throats open to slake their bloodlust.  No sparkling and no moping required.

#3 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

This is the thing, Manatee, I do like this modern concept of Vampire / Human relationships, but I don't know how well the "mechanics" of it work. And the sparkling, ye gods, what's with that?

Oh and can Eric Northman please post in this thread too?

#4 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:44 AM

Back in the Buffy the Vampire slayer days, Angel and Buffy fell in love but if they had sex, didn't he lose his "soul" again and turn all blood lusty?

I don't know, its something that I've thought about too, all the differences. For eg, in the Sookie books, the vamps sleep during the day, but Twilight they don't?








*disclaimer* I know its all fiction!

#5 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM

Being a former game-runner of several Vampire type games, I can tell ya how the more imaginative players have worked this.

Erections: So, vampires need blood as they lost all their own in the vampire-making process. Some vampire players contend that the acquired blood is what animates the otherwise-dead vampire's body. As a vampire might force this blood to animate their legs to walk, they might also force the blood to form an erection. Twilighty types have a different take. The author provides that the natural body fluids and synaptic reactions are replaced by venom and that this venom makes vampires work in a similar fashion to humans, just never warm and with mega-hard/strong body tissues. Erection? No probs. Just a bit chilly.

Periods: Gamer take on this is that a well-fed vampire could resist the blood scent but that a hungry vampire would likely go into a frenzy state. I don't think Twilight covers this, though.

Pregnancy: Gamer take: Wellll, this is hotly contended. Some insist that vampires exist by magical means so therefore...magic happens. Others say "Sorry, dead people have no living sperm". Twilight take: Venom simulates human bodily function so well that a venom-based version of sperm still exists. Hence half human/half vamp kids. But the ability of most vampires to resist eating their lover in a most unpleasant fashion, and the tendency of these offspring to drain the life out of their human hosts/mothers, means it's not a commonly pondered issue.

Imagination is a beautiful...and sometimes ridiculous thing.

Edited by kpingitquiet, 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM.


#6 kelbelblue

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM

in the books Lauren K Hamillton writes, the male vampires can't have an erection until they drink blood, the drinking of the blood seems to be quite sexual too.
So I guess they either go to the bedroom after a little snack, or the blood drinking just adds to the excitement.
In hamillton's books, she generally haas them drink blood during the act, so that 'Anita' is always fully satisfied first. Also, in her books, the males seem to have gigantic penis', so this enables the females to swallow them completely before they are hard...
Sorry if this is TMI, I read these as a teenager and writing it out like this is hilaious original.gif

ETA, she doesn't really deal with the spem issue until later in the series, when we find out human can be impregnated by vamps (but not the other way around) but generally the baby half breed eats the mother...
In the Night Huntress Series, the vamp has to have been change within the last week or less for it to work, after that all the sperm die off...

Edited by kelbelblue, 27 February 2013 - 09:58 AM.


#7 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

Well if you want to get all down and dirty with a vamp I'm pretty sure you could use THIS. Don't look if you are at work or have kids around.


I can't help you with the semen though.

Edited by O TheHugeManatee, 27 February 2013 - 09:51 AM.


#8 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:51 AM

I don't know how a vampire would get an erection. Doesn't an erection usually occur when increased blood flow goes to the penis? (I could be wrong!)

So in that case if they were going to get erections after having a blood drink, wouldn't they get erections every time they had blood? How embarrassing.

I also thought vampires shot blanks. Do dead men have sperm? Surely even if it's alive for a while after they die, it would soon be gone, unless they a like cockroaches who can have sex and reproduce for a period of time after they die.

Ewwwwwww!

#9 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:53 AM

Now I'm even more confused, IjI211, I didn't know vampires had souls? Or hang on, wasn't Brad Pitt's character in Interview with a Vampire the only one to have a soul?

Now that I think of it, because the Twilight universe has vampires that never sleep, they can theoretically attack you at any time (unless they're "vegetarians"!) That's a bit harsh. At least in the Sookie universe people don't expect to be attacked by vampires during the day.

#10 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:53 AM

Also if male vampires can impregnant women can female vampires get pregnant?

#11 kelbelblue

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

QUOTE (O TheHugeManatee @ 27/02/2013, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well if you want to get all down and dirty with a vamp I'm pretty sure you could use THIS. Don't look if you are at work or have kids around.


I can't help you with the semen though.


How did you stumble across this little beauty? Or are they a must have accessory for all good Manatees (hope this is the correct plural)

#12 Cranky Kitten

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:56 AM

QUOTE (kpingitquiet @ 27/02/2013, 07:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Being a former game-runner of several Vampire type games, I can tell ya how the more imaginative players have worked this.

Erections: So, vampires need blood as they lost all their own in the vampire-making process. Some vampire players contend that the acquired blood is what animates the otherwise-dead vampire's body. As a vampire might force this blood to animate their legs to walk, they might also force the blood to form an erection. Twilighty types have a different take. The author provides that the natural body fluids and synaptic reactions are replaced by venom and that this venom makes vampires work in a similar fashion to humans, just never warm and with mega-hard/strong body tissues. Erection? No probs. Just a bit chilly.

Periods: Gamer take on this is that a well-fed vampire could resist the blood scent but that a hungry vampire would likely go into a frenzy state. I don't think Twilight covers this, though.

Pregnancy: Gamer take: Wellll, this is hotly contended. Some insist that vampires exist by magical means so therefore...magic happens. Others say "Sorry, dead people have no living sperm". Twilight take: Venom simulates human bodily function so well that a venom-based version of sperm still exists. Hence half human/half vamp kids. But the ability of most vampires to resist eating their lover in a most unpleasant fashion, and the tendency of these offspring to drain the life out of their human hosts/mothers, means it's not a commonly pondered issue.

Imagination is a beautiful...and sometimes ridiculous thing.


Requiem or Masquerade?

Sod these sparkly wimpy new age vamps. Give me a decent Dracula story any day, or even Lestat at a pinch, but never poor poor tormented whining Louis.

#13 Mamaof8

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM

In nearly all vampire movies/shows I've seen, if there is a sexual act then the vamp bites his lover as part of it and the woman gets all ht and horny ;)So maybe that lends to the blood giving them an erection hence her lust as he bites her?Lol the things we ponder

#14 Zahhy

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:00 AM

QUOTE
Also, what happens if a human female partner of a vampire gets a period? Is it the equivalent of dangling a packet of chocolate biscuits in my face for five days, or does nothing compare to blood fresh from the neck?


BAHAHAHAA!

Is it a sign of a sick mind that I have occasionally pondered the same thing in very similar terms?

#15 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#16 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#17 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#18 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:03 AM

Masquerade original.gif

While I have suffered through games where female vamps had babies, the general idea is that vampire tissue is either dead, unless forced to animate, or semi-petrified and hard. Universally, they are extraordinarily fast healers. So, the gist is either that the bodies are too dead to foster life, or are too unyielding/unchanging to accommodate the growth of a fetus. The healing ability would potentially make delivery by any means impossible, though. Stretched orifices and ripped tissues would heal too rapidly. Surgical cuts would do the same. The baby would have no way out.

#19 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:05 AM

Thanks for the gamer perspective kpingitquiet, very interesting! The Twilight venom concept is now confusing me even more. Twilight seems to have turned every concept I thought I knew about vampires on its head! *Shakes fist at Stephenie Meyer.*

Manatee, surely Eric Northman doesn't need one of those? laughing2.gif

Sunnycat, I also want to know if female vampires can get pregnant. Also, your cockroach analogy gave me some very strange visuals! roll2.gif

Kelbel, ok, the drinking blood beforehand makes sense. Perhaps it's the vampire equivalent of putting on a condom or going to the toilet beforehand?





#20 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:06 AM

Oh yeah, another theory on periods is that it is "dead blood," being expelled, and that's not terribly inaccurate if ya think about it, which some vampire universes consider poisonous.

#21 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (kelbelblue @ 27/02/2013, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How did you stumble across this little beauty? Or are they a must have accessory for all good Manatees (hope this is the correct plural)


I looked it up especially.  I'm helpful like that.


QUOTE (ljl211 @ 27/02/2013, 11:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?


Angel was a bad vampire named Angelus but then a gypsy laid a curse on him which restored his soul so that he would feel the anguish for all of his kills.  So he became a good vampire.  I don't recall where he got his blood from.   The curse was such that if he ever experieced a moment of true and complete happiness he would lose his soul again.  Bonking Buffy did the trick and he went all Angelus again.

#22 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (Tonberry @ 27/02/2013, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
BAHAHAHAA!

Is it a sign of a sick mind that I have occasionally pondered the same thing in very similar terms?


Haha, you and me both Tonberry!



#23 JaneLane

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:10 AM

QUOTE (ljl211 @ 27/02/2013, 10:44 AM)
15359385[/url]']
Back in the Buffy the Vampire slayer days, Angel and Buffy fell in love but if they had sex, didn't he lose his "soul" again and turn all blood lusty?

I don't know, its something that I've thought about too, all the differences. For eg, in the Sookie books, the vamps sleep during the day, but Twilight they don't?


Yes in Buffy, Angel is a vampire with a soul as he was cursed by gypsies.  The curse means if he ever found true love and pure happiness, he would loose his soul and go back to being a regular blood lusty vamp.  This pure happiness  event happened when he and Buffy finally got down and dirty wink.gif
I really love vampire stuff but Twilight kind of ruined it a bit for me.  It has made most people think you are a twihard if you like vamps.  I have never read the books or seen the movies and won't ever.
OP I have no idea how all of it works, every author has their own way of making their fantasy world a reality in writing.  I have been keen to write my own vamp story and when I get around to it I will obviously have to give this a lot of thought!  I don't think mine will be able to procreate though, that seems just a bit too silly for me!

Edited by blue4me, 27 February 2013 - 10:15 AM.


#24 Bluenomi

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:21 AM

QUOTE (O TheHugeManatee @ 27/02/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I looked it up especially.  I'm helpful like that.




Angel was a bad vampire named Angelus but then a gypsy laid a curse on him which restored his soul so that he would feel the anguish for all of his kills.  So he became a good vampire.  I don't recall where he got his blood from.   The curse was such that if he ever experieced a moment of true and complete happiness he would lose his soul again.  Bonking Buffy did the trick and he went all Angelus again.


In his woe is me days he drank from rats (eww) and later he was a big fan of blood banks  biggrin.gif I gather various animals are a close match but not as good as the human stuff

#25 feralstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:29 AM

Cranky Kitten, agree, Louis was such an emo! Maybe he needed more sparkle?  wink.gif

ljl, that's interesting that vampires can develop a soul, perhaps the redeeming power of love? The romantic in me is very happy with that.

Mamaof8, ah, that makes sense too!





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Twin brothers have become dads on the same day ? with their partners giving birth in the same hospital, and even the same birthing pool.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.