Jump to content

Vampires and their love life
Fluffy and TMI (with vampires!)


  • Please log in to reply
76 replies to this topic

#1 silverstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

OK, so according to Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries, vampires can have sex. According to Twilight, vampires can also reproduce. These concepts have been rattling around in my head for a while and I have a couple of questions:

I haven't read all the Twilight and Sookie books, so I"m not sure if it's been covered, but how can male vampires have sex? How do they get erections if they're the Undead? Do they get an erection from all the blood they drink? What do they ejaculate and how do they produce sperm?

Also, what happens if a human female partner of a vampire gets a period? Is it the equivalent of dangling a packet of chocolate biscuits in my face for five days, or does nothing compare to blood fresh from the neck?

Can any biologists, romance readers, or vampires please enlighten me?  tongue.gif

Edited for terrible grammar

Edited by silverstreak, 27 February 2013 - 11:52 PM.


#2 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:36 AM

I think the answer lies in the fact that you are talking about wishy-washy pretend vampires.

Proper vampires don't have sex and they don't have relatinships.  They just rip throats open to slake their bloodlust.  No sparkling and no moping required.

#3 silverstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

This is the thing, Manatee, I do like this modern concept of Vampire / Human relationships, but I don't know how well the "mechanics" of it work. And the sparkling, ye gods, what's with that?

Oh and can Eric Northman please post in this thread too?

#4 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:44 AM

Back in the Buffy the Vampire slayer days, Angel and Buffy fell in love but if they had sex, didn't he lose his "soul" again and turn all blood lusty?

I don't know, its something that I've thought about too, all the differences. For eg, in the Sookie books, the vamps sleep during the day, but Twilight they don't?








*disclaimer* I know its all fiction!

#5 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM

Being a former game-runner of several Vampire type games, I can tell ya how the more imaginative players have worked this.

Erections: So, vampires need blood as they lost all their own in the vampire-making process. Some vampire players contend that the acquired blood is what animates the otherwise-dead vampire's body. As a vampire might force this blood to animate their legs to walk, they might also force the blood to form an erection. Twilighty types have a different take. The author provides that the natural body fluids and synaptic reactions are replaced by venom and that this venom makes vampires work in a similar fashion to humans, just never warm and with mega-hard/strong body tissues. Erection? No probs. Just a bit chilly.

Periods: Gamer take on this is that a well-fed vampire could resist the blood scent but that a hungry vampire would likely go into a frenzy state. I don't think Twilight covers this, though.

Pregnancy: Gamer take: Wellll, this is hotly contended. Some insist that vampires exist by magical means so therefore...magic happens. Others say "Sorry, dead people have no living sperm". Twilight take: Venom simulates human bodily function so well that a venom-based version of sperm still exists. Hence half human/half vamp kids. But the ability of most vampires to resist eating their lover in a most unpleasant fashion, and the tendency of these offspring to drain the life out of their human hosts/mothers, means it's not a commonly pondered issue.

Imagination is a beautiful...and sometimes ridiculous thing.

Edited by kpingitquiet, 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM.


#6 kelbelblue

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM

in the books Lauren K Hamillton writes, the male vampires can't have an erection until they drink blood, the drinking of the blood seems to be quite sexual too.
So I guess they either go to the bedroom after a little snack, or the blood drinking just adds to the excitement.
In hamillton's books, she generally haas them drink blood during the act, so that 'Anita' is always fully satisfied first. Also, in her books, the males seem to have gigantic penis', so this enables the females to swallow them completely before they are hard...
Sorry if this is TMI, I read these as a teenager and writing it out like this is hilaious original.gif

ETA, she doesn't really deal with the spem issue until later in the series, when we find out human can be impregnated by vamps (but not the other way around) but generally the baby half breed eats the mother...
In the Night Huntress Series, the vamp has to have been change within the last week or less for it to work, after that all the sperm die off...

Edited by kelbelblue, 27 February 2013 - 09:58 AM.


#7 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

Well if you want to get all down and dirty with a vamp I'm pretty sure you could use THIS. Don't look if you are at work or have kids around.


I can't help you with the semen though.

Edited by O TheHugeManatee, 27 February 2013 - 09:51 AM.


#8 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:51 AM

I don't know how a vampire would get an erection. Doesn't an erection usually occur when increased blood flow goes to the penis? (I could be wrong!)

So in that case if they were going to get erections after having a blood drink, wouldn't they get erections every time they had blood? How embarrassing.

I also thought vampires shot blanks. Do dead men have sperm? Surely even if it's alive for a while after they die, it would soon be gone, unless they a like cockroaches who can have sex and reproduce for a period of time after they die.

Ewwwwwww!

#9 silverstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:53 AM

Now I'm even more confused, IjI211, I didn't know vampires had souls? Or hang on, wasn't Brad Pitt's character in Interview with a Vampire the only one to have a soul?

Now that I think of it, because the Twilight universe has vampires that never sleep, they can theoretically attack you at any time (unless they're "vegetarians"!) That's a bit harsh. At least in the Sookie universe people don't expect to be attacked by vampires during the day.

#10 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:53 AM

Also if male vampires can impregnant women can female vampires get pregnant?

#11 kelbelblue

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

QUOTE (O TheHugeManatee @ 27/02/2013, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well if you want to get all down and dirty with a vamp I'm pretty sure you could use THIS. Don't look if you are at work or have kids around.


I can't help you with the semen though.


How did you stumble across this little beauty? Or are they a must have accessory for all good Manatees (hope this is the correct plural)

#12 Cranky Kitten

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:56 AM

QUOTE (kpingitquiet @ 27/02/2013, 07:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Being a former game-runner of several Vampire type games, I can tell ya how the more imaginative players have worked this.

Erections: So, vampires need blood as they lost all their own in the vampire-making process. Some vampire players contend that the acquired blood is what animates the otherwise-dead vampire's body. As a vampire might force this blood to animate their legs to walk, they might also force the blood to form an erection. Twilighty types have a different take. The author provides that the natural body fluids and synaptic reactions are replaced by venom and that this venom makes vampires work in a similar fashion to humans, just never warm and with mega-hard/strong body tissues. Erection? No probs. Just a bit chilly.

Periods: Gamer take on this is that a well-fed vampire could resist the blood scent but that a hungry vampire would likely go into a frenzy state. I don't think Twilight covers this, though.

Pregnancy: Gamer take: Wellll, this is hotly contended. Some insist that vampires exist by magical means so therefore...magic happens. Others say "Sorry, dead people have no living sperm". Twilight take: Venom simulates human bodily function so well that a venom-based version of sperm still exists. Hence half human/half vamp kids. But the ability of most vampires to resist eating their lover in a most unpleasant fashion, and the tendency of these offspring to drain the life out of their human hosts/mothers, means it's not a commonly pondered issue.

Imagination is a beautiful...and sometimes ridiculous thing.


Requiem or Masquerade?

Sod these sparkly wimpy new age vamps. Give me a decent Dracula story any day, or even Lestat at a pinch, but never poor poor tormented whining Louis.

#13 Mamaof8

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:57 AM

In nearly all vampire movies/shows I've seen, if there is a sexual act then the vamp bites his lover as part of it and the woman gets all ht and horny ;)So maybe that lends to the blood giving them an erection hence her lust as he bites her?Lol the things we ponder

#14 Tonberry

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:00 AM

QUOTE
Also, what happens if a human female partner of a vampire gets a period? Is it the equivalent of dangling a packet of chocolate biscuits in my face for five days, or does nothing compare to blood fresh from the neck?


BAHAHAHAA!

Is it a sign of a sick mind that I have occasionally pondered the same thing in very similar terms?

#15 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#16 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#17 ljl211

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?

#18 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:03 AM

Masquerade original.gif

While I have suffered through games where female vamps had babies, the general idea is that vampire tissue is either dead, unless forced to animate, or semi-petrified and hard. Universally, they are extraordinarily fast healers. So, the gist is either that the bodies are too dead to foster life, or are too unyielding/unchanging to accommodate the growth of a fetus. The healing ability would potentially make delivery by any means impossible, though. Stretched orifices and ripped tissues would heal too rapidly. Surgical cuts would do the same. The baby would have no way out.

#19 silverstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:05 AM

Thanks for the gamer perspective kpingitquiet, very interesting! The Twilight venom concept is now confusing me even more. Twilight seems to have turned every concept I thought I knew about vampires on its head! *Shakes fist at Stephenie Meyer.*

Manatee, surely Eric Northman doesn't need one of those? laughing2.gif

Sunnycat, I also want to know if female vampires can get pregnant. Also, your cockroach analogy gave me some very strange visuals! roll2.gif

Kelbel, ok, the drinking blood beforehand makes sense. Perhaps it's the vampire equivalent of putting on a condom or going to the toilet beforehand?





#20 kpingitquiet

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:06 AM

Oh yeah, another theory on periods is that it is "dead blood," being expelled, and that's not terribly inaccurate if ya think about it, which some vampire universes consider poisonous.

#21 BadCat

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (kelbelblue @ 27/02/2013, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How did you stumble across this little beauty? Or are they a must have accessory for all good Manatees (hope this is the correct plural)


I looked it up especially.  I'm helpful like that.


QUOTE (ljl211 @ 27/02/2013, 11:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
silverstreak - If my memory of Buffy is right, Angel did develop a soul which meant they fell in love... It might have been a spell or a curse perhaps? Then he lost it again and turned all snarly. But he was definitely a good guy. Can't remember how he used to "feed" was it animals?


Angel was a bad vampire named Angelus but then a gypsy laid a curse on him which restored his soul so that he would feel the anguish for all of his kills.  So he became a good vampire.  I don't recall where he got his blood from.   The curse was such that if he ever experieced a moment of true and complete happiness he would lose his soul again.  Bonking Buffy did the trick and he went all Angelus again.

#22 silverstreak

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (Tonberry @ 27/02/2013, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
BAHAHAHAA!

Is it a sign of a sick mind that I have occasionally pondered the same thing in very similar terms?


Haha, you and me both Tonberry!



#23 JaneLane

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:10 AM

QUOTE (ljl211 @ 27/02/2013, 10:44 AM)
15359385[/url]']
Back in the Buffy the Vampire slayer days, Angel and Buffy fell in love but if they had sex, didn't he lose his "soul" again and turn all blood lusty?

I don't know, its something that I've thought about too, all the differences. For eg, in the Sookie books, the vamps sleep during the day, but Twilight they don't?


Yes in Buffy, Angel is a vampire with a soul as he was cursed by gypsies.  The curse means if he ever found true love and pure happiness, he would loose his soul and go back to being a regular blood lusty vamp.  This pure happiness  event happened when he and Buffy finally got down and dirty wink.gif
I really love vampire stuff but Twilight kind of ruined it a bit for me.  It has made most people think you are a twihard if you like vamps.  I have never read the books or seen the movies and won't ever.
OP I have no idea how all of it works, every author has their own way of making their fantasy world a reality in writing.  I have been keen to write my own vamp story and when I get around to it I will obviously have to give this a lot of thought!  I don't think mine will be able to procreate though, that seems just a bit too silly for me!

Edited by blue4me, 27 February 2013 - 10:15 AM.


#24 Bluenomi

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:21 AM

QUOTE (O TheHugeManatee @ 27/02/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I looked it up especially.  I'm helpful like that.




Angel was a bad vampire named Angelus but then a gypsy laid a curse on him which restored his soul so that he would feel the anguish for all of his kills.  So he became a good vampire.  I don't recall where he got his blood from.   The curse was such that if he ever experieced a moment of true and complete happiness he would lose his soul again.  Bonking Buffy did the trick and he went all Angelus again.


In his woe is me days he drank from rats (eww) and later he was a big fan of blood banks  biggrin.gif I gather various animals are a close match but not as good as the human stuff

#25 ~*Twilight~Zone*~

Posted 27 February 2013 - 10:26 AM

Going back to when I read Interview with a Vampire I'm sure in that the older vampires got the harder their bodies became. An ancient vampire's body would be as hard as marble.

Now if they could get erections wouldn't that be something to write home about.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Britain's youngest parents: mother 12, father 13

A 12-year-old schoolgirl and her 13-year-old boyfriend are believed to have become Britain?s youngest parents, after the birth of their baby girl earlier this week.

When Prince George met Bilby George

Prince George has met an Aussie marsupial named after him in his first official engagement in Australia.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Pregnant woman dies after doctor removes ovary instead of appendix

When a UK woman went to hospital suffering appendicitis, doctors mistakenly removed her healthy ovary - with tragic consequences.

The milestones I can't wait to celebrate

Nothing can beat the feeling of witnessing that first smile, first step and first word - but here's a list of 'firsts' I'm really looking forward to now.

How you develop in your baby's first year

Just as babies undergo rapid growth as they learn and change in their first year, we?re learning and changing quickly as parents, too. Don?t underestimate the developmental stages you go through when you have a baby.

Can you make your baby smarter even before birth?

A product new to Australia claims to help babies be born "as intelligent as possible", but not all experts agree on the benefits of educating babies while still in the womb.

How a mother's love helped unearth the skills of an autistic savant

Autistic savant Ping Lian Yeak, a prodigious artist who has had his work shown all over the world, couldn't have done it without the support and love of his proud mum.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

A tiny heart: a baby?s death gives life to another

Simon Alexander Garcia lived only one brief hour. But somewhere, a little girl?s heart is beating today because of him.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Why is childbirth still such a pain?

The options given to women to help them cope in labour have barely changed in years.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.