Jump to content

lying 10yr old DD


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 Carmen02

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:17 AM

What would your punishment be for lying?? Im so over it, DD lies so much, we take away ipad time, take away her PSP and ipod and she earns them back and goes straight back to lying. She is in grade 5 this year and is doing everything in her power not to do homework, she has a quiet place away from her two brothers to do homework but she continues to play around or avoid it..I sit down with her to help she doesnt want it..DH tries..and she plays around on DH so he goes away.

Last night she came home and told me her teacher had her homework book and diary (where she has to record her reading which she has to do everyday) and i thought it was unusual but when i get a chance to seek a look in her bag i see nothing so i left it...till this morning they went off to school and i was picking up clothes from her room to discover her homework book and diary under her bed!!!!! Lying has always been a huge no from me..Ive had it to much growing up people close to me I have zero tolerance for it..but Im at a loss what to do when she gets home...

#2 Pull Up A Beanbag

Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:12 AM

Find out why she's lying, for a start.

* Avoiding something because it's too hard?
* Trying to get attention because she (feels) neglected?
* Trying to avoid getting into trouble because she feels like she'll get punished unfairly?

The third one in particular is why *I* used to lie as a teen - I felt like my parents had NFI who I was as a person and they didn't tailor their rules/consequences/rewards appropriately, so I lied to try and get the minimum punishment for whatever it was they deemed I'd done wrong.

#3 sedawson

Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

Hmm, okay.
So she is lying about homework particularly. Is this the major subject about which she is dishonest or does she also lie about other things?
If it is mostly about homework then dig deeper to find out why she's not doing it. It's unlikely to be sheer laziness. What are her academic abilities like overall? Is she having trouble reading or recognising numbers or something like that?
I do have lots of suggestions about how to help her understand that we can't be dishonest with one another but my gut is that it's something more specific than general lying that needs to be uncovered.
Sometimes kids lie because they feel, rightly or wrongly, that there'll be some kind of rejection if they tell the truth.

#4 Fillama

Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:16 PM

I've also stressed over my 8yr old DD telling lies. I've tried all kinds of methods to get her to stop, speaking calmly, getting cross, punishing etc nothing seems to work. When I was venting to my mum about this she told me "Believe me do not make a big deal out of it, we did with your brother and we regret it so much now " my brother was shocking for telling lies too and my parents came down hard on him for it just trying to get him to stop. Nothing worked and he eventually grew out of it but both my parents deeply regret how hard they were on him now, because they see now it was something they simply had to wait for him to out grow. My cousin was also the same. So what I do now, when say an argument starts between DD and her brother, I simply say "Sorry DD but because you tell me lies from time to time, I just don't know when i can believe you" She gets devastated when i say that and hey presto the amount of lies are decreasing. As for the homework I would just keep in close communication with her teacher, do you have a communication book even? And explain the situation to the teacher, ask that some consequences be handed out at school if homework is not completed eg. staying in at play time etc. I know this can be an extremely frustrating subject and it drives me nuts too! But I'm sure it will come to an end in good time

#5 Katie1983

Posted 03 June 2013 - 09:02 AM

My 9 year old has just started doing this, it's only slight but the way I see it, once it starts it can only get worse!

At current when we know he is lying we take things away from him like his Xbox 360 and his tablet which he hates but much like you, after we give him it back he will do it again.

I had resorted to speaking to his teachers at school about it which he really does not like at all,he hates his teachers knowing what he does away from school because he is so well behaved at school, it's worked but not enough as of yet. Knowing though that the teachers at school are working with us to help is a good feeling and makes us feel like we can conquer the problem and hopefully get him out of lying.






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'He said what?': partners' worst pregnancy clangers

Women have been sharing the worst things their partners have said to them while pregnant, and trust us they're bad.

'Cafe's babycino ban makes no sense'

It's an insult to families and bad for business.

The importance of welcoming everyone into your 'mum tribe'

"Not everyone has the luxury of a village." 

How to have a healthy vegetarian pregnancy

Q: Is it possible to have a healthy vegetarian or vegan pregnancy?

The 200 most popular baby names of 2017

Here are the most searched names so far this year.

Dirt is good for children, study confirms

Great news for grubby kids.

How dare anyone accuse a mum of 'milking' a miscarriage

A heartless comment from a stranger shocked the already devastated radio host Em Rusciano.

How breast milk can help relieve your baby's teething pain

Try one mum's simple parenting hack to ease your baby's discomfort.

Top 10 common health myths busted

To help combat the misinformation and spread good health, here are the most common health myths compared to fact.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.