Jump to content

lying 10yr old DD


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 Carmen02

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:17 AM

What would your punishment be for lying?? Im so over it, DD lies so much, we take away ipad time, take away her PSP and ipod and she earns them back and goes straight back to lying. She is in grade 5 this year and is doing everything in her power not to do homework, she has a quiet place away from her two brothers to do homework but she continues to play around or avoid it..I sit down with her to help she doesnt want it..DH tries..and she plays around on DH so he goes away.

Last night she came home and told me her teacher had her homework book and diary (where she has to record her reading which she has to do everyday) and i thought it was unusual but when i get a chance to seek a look in her bag i see nothing so i left it...till this morning they went off to school and i was picking up clothes from her room to discover her homework book and diary under her bed!!!!! Lying has always been a huge no from me..Ive had it to much growing up people close to me I have zero tolerance for it..but Im at a loss what to do when she gets home...

#2 Pull Up A Beanbag

Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:12 AM

Find out why she's lying, for a start.

* Avoiding something because it's too hard?
* Trying to get attention because she (feels) neglected?
* Trying to avoid getting into trouble because she feels like she'll get punished unfairly?

The third one in particular is why *I* used to lie as a teen - I felt like my parents had NFI who I was as a person and they didn't tailor their rules/consequences/rewards appropriately, so I lied to try and get the minimum punishment for whatever it was they deemed I'd done wrong.

#3 sedawson

Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

Hmm, okay.
So she is lying about homework particularly. Is this the major subject about which she is dishonest or does she also lie about other things?
If it is mostly about homework then dig deeper to find out why she's not doing it. It's unlikely to be sheer laziness. What are her academic abilities like overall? Is she having trouble reading or recognising numbers or something like that?
I do have lots of suggestions about how to help her understand that we can't be dishonest with one another but my gut is that it's something more specific than general lying that needs to be uncovered.
Sometimes kids lie because they feel, rightly or wrongly, that there'll be some kind of rejection if they tell the truth.

#4 Fillama

Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:16 PM

I've also stressed over my 8yr old DD telling lies. I've tried all kinds of methods to get her to stop, speaking calmly, getting cross, punishing etc nothing seems to work. When I was venting to my mum about this she told me "Believe me do not make a big deal out of it, we did with your brother and we regret it so much now " my brother was shocking for telling lies too and my parents came down hard on him for it just trying to get him to stop. Nothing worked and he eventually grew out of it but both my parents deeply regret how hard they were on him now, because they see now it was something they simply had to wait for him to out grow. My cousin was also the same. So what I do now, when say an argument starts between DD and her brother, I simply say "Sorry DD but because you tell me lies from time to time, I just don't know when i can believe you" She gets devastated when i say that and hey presto the amount of lies are decreasing. As for the homework I would just keep in close communication with her teacher, do you have a communication book even? And explain the situation to the teacher, ask that some consequences be handed out at school if homework is not completed eg. staying in at play time etc. I know this can be an extremely frustrating subject and it drives me nuts too! But I'm sure it will come to an end in good time

#5 Katie1983

Posted 03 June 2013 - 09:02 AM

My 9 year old has just started doing this, it's only slight but the way I see it, once it starts it can only get worse!

At current when we know he is lying we take things away from him like his Xbox 360 and his tablet which he hates but much like you, after we give him it back he will do it again.

I had resorted to speaking to his teachers at school about it which he really does not like at all,he hates his teachers knowing what he does away from school because he is so well behaved at school, it's worked but not enough as of yet. Knowing though that the teachers at school are working with us to help is a good feeling and makes us feel like we can conquer the problem and hopefully get him out of lying.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.