Jump to content
lying 10yr old DD
4 replies to this topic
Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:17 AM
What would your punishment be for lying?? Im so over it, DD lies so much, we take away ipad time, take away her PSP and ipod and she earns them back and goes straight back to lying. She is in grade 5 this year and is doing everything in her power not to do homework, she has a quiet place away from her two brothers to do homework but she continues to play around or avoid it..I sit down with her to help she doesnt want it..DH tries..and she plays around on DH so he goes away.
Last night she came home and told me her teacher had her homework book and diary (where she has to record her reading which she has to do everyday) and i thought it was unusual but when i get a chance to seek a look in her bag i see nothing so i left it...till this morning they went off to school and i was picking up clothes from her room to discover her homework book and diary under her bed!!!!! Lying has always been a huge no from me..Ive had it to much growing up people close to me I have zero tolerance for it..but Im at a loss what to do when she gets home...
Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:12 AM
Find out why she's lying, for a start.
* Avoiding something because it's too hard?
* Trying to get attention because she (feels) neglected?
* Trying to avoid getting into trouble because she feels like she'll get punished unfairly?
The third one in particular is why *I* used to lie as a teen - I felt like my parents had NFI who I was as a person and they didn't tailor their rules/consequences/rewards appropriately, so I lied to try and get the minimum punishment for whatever it was they deemed I'd done wrong.
Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:20 AM
So she is lying about homework particularly. Is this the major subject about which she is dishonest or does she also lie about other things?
If it is mostly about homework then dig deeper to find out why she's not doing it. It's unlikely to be sheer laziness. What are her academic abilities like overall? Is she having trouble reading or recognising numbers or something like that?
I do have lots of suggestions about how to help her understand that we can't be dishonest with one another but my gut is that it's something more specific than general lying that needs to be uncovered.
Sometimes kids lie because they feel, rightly or wrongly, that there'll be some kind of rejection if they tell the truth.
Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:16 PM
I've also stressed over my 8yr old DD telling lies. I've tried all kinds of methods to get her to stop, speaking calmly, getting cross, punishing etc nothing seems to work. When I was venting to my mum about this she told me "Believe me do not make a big deal out of it, we did with your brother and we regret it so much now " my brother was shocking for telling lies too and my parents came down hard on him for it just trying to get him to stop. Nothing worked and he eventually grew out of it but both my parents deeply regret how hard they were on him now, because they see now it was something they simply had to wait for him to out grow. My cousin was also the same. So what I do now, when say an argument starts between DD and her brother, I simply say "Sorry DD but because you tell me lies from time to time, I just don't know when i can believe you" She gets devastated when i say that and hey presto the amount of lies are decreasing. As for the homework I would just keep in close communication with her teacher, do you have a communication book even? And explain the situation to the teacher, ask that some consequences be handed out at school if homework is not completed eg. staying in at play time etc. I know this can be an extremely frustrating subject and it drives me nuts too! But I'm sure it will come to an end in good time
Posted 03 June 2013 - 09:02 AM
My 9 year old has just started doing this, it's only slight but the way I see it, once it starts it can only get worse!
At current when we know he is lying we take things away from him like his Xbox 360 and his tablet which he hates but much like you, after we give him it back he will do it again.
I had resorted to speaking to his teachers at school about it which he really does not like at all,he hates his teachers knowing what he does away from school because he is so well behaved at school, it's worked but not enough as of yet. Knowing though that the teachers at school are working with us to help is a good feeling and makes us feel like we can conquer the problem and hopefully get him out of lying.
2 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users
To celebrate the launch of EB member and contributor Julia's Watson's first book, we have five copies of Breakfast, School Run, Chemo give away.
The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital.
As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.
Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.
Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.
The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.
Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.
This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.
Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.
A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.
A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.
As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.
Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.
A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.
Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.
Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.
Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.
A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.
The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.
Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.
Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.
They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.
Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.
To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Top 5 Articles
For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.
Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.
Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.
I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?
Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.
Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.
A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.
Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.
Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?
Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.
My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.
In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.
It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.
When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.
You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.
Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.
There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.
To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!