Jump to content

lying 10yr old DD


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 Carmen02

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:17 AM

What would your punishment be for lying?? Im so over it, DD lies so much, we take away ipad time, take away her PSP and ipod and she earns them back and goes straight back to lying. She is in grade 5 this year and is doing everything in her power not to do homework, she has a quiet place away from her two brothers to do homework but she continues to play around or avoid it..I sit down with her to help she doesnt want it..DH tries..and she plays around on DH so he goes away.

Last night she came home and told me her teacher had her homework book and diary (where she has to record her reading which she has to do everyday) and i thought it was unusual but when i get a chance to seek a look in her bag i see nothing so i left it...till this morning they went off to school and i was picking up clothes from her room to discover her homework book and diary under her bed!!!!! Lying has always been a huge no from me..Ive had it to much growing up people close to me I have zero tolerance for it..but Im at a loss what to do when she gets home...

#2 désir d'amour

Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:12 AM

Find out why she's lying, for a start.

* Avoiding something because it's too hard?
* Trying to get attention because she (feels) neglected?
* Trying to avoid getting into trouble because she feels like she'll get punished unfairly?

The third one in particular is why *I* used to lie as a teen - I felt like my parents had NFI who I was as a person and they didn't tailor their rules/consequences/rewards appropriately, so I lied to try and get the minimum punishment for whatever it was they deemed I'd done wrong.

#3 sedawson

Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

Hmm, okay.
So she is lying about homework particularly. Is this the major subject about which she is dishonest or does she also lie about other things?
If it is mostly about homework then dig deeper to find out why she's not doing it. It's unlikely to be sheer laziness. What are her academic abilities like overall? Is she having trouble reading or recognising numbers or something like that?
I do have lots of suggestions about how to help her understand that we can't be dishonest with one another but my gut is that it's something more specific than general lying that needs to be uncovered.
Sometimes kids lie because they feel, rightly or wrongly, that there'll be some kind of rejection if they tell the truth.

#4 Fillama

Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:16 PM

I've also stressed over my 8yr old DD telling lies. I've tried all kinds of methods to get her to stop, speaking calmly, getting cross, punishing etc nothing seems to work. When I was venting to my mum about this she told me "Believe me do not make a big deal out of it, we did with your brother and we regret it so much now " my brother was shocking for telling lies too and my parents came down hard on him for it just trying to get him to stop. Nothing worked and he eventually grew out of it but both my parents deeply regret how hard they were on him now, because they see now it was something they simply had to wait for him to out grow. My cousin was also the same. So what I do now, when say an argument starts between DD and her brother, I simply say "Sorry DD but because you tell me lies from time to time, I just don't know when i can believe you" She gets devastated when i say that and hey presto the amount of lies are decreasing. As for the homework I would just keep in close communication with her teacher, do you have a communication book even? And explain the situation to the teacher, ask that some consequences be handed out at school if homework is not completed eg. staying in at play time etc. I know this can be an extremely frustrating subject and it drives me nuts too! But I'm sure it will come to an end in good time

#5 Katie1983

Posted 03 June 2013 - 09:02 AM

My 9 year old has just started doing this, it's only slight but the way I see it, once it starts it can only get worse!

At current when we know he is lying we take things away from him like his Xbox 360 and his tablet which he hates but much like you, after we give him it back he will do it again.

I had resorted to speaking to his teachers at school about it which he really does not like at all,he hates his teachers knowing what he does away from school because he is so well behaved at school, it's worked but not enough as of yet. Knowing though that the teachers at school are working with us to help is a good feeling and makes us feel like we can conquer the problem and hopefully get him out of lying.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.